What games are you playing 2014?

[Captain K.]

Child of Light:  I instantly went through puberty, and for some reason this doesn't alarm me.

[Fenrir]

It plays out like the latter sadly.  I had high hopes too!

This was actually way worse!

I thought they'd have the decency to, at least, not make the strong woman appear weak, but nope. She's all "We're all going to die" and he's all "Don't worry I'll protect you" so she's extremely grateful and says all she ever wanted was someone to protect her
...
This could have been acceptable if she wasn't the only strong woman in the game.

The other woman on the screen I showed above is strong-ish, but she's way below the jerk she's paired with, who she tries to kill but can't.
Eventually she learns that she was wrong all along, she acted impusilvely and should never have tried to kill him.
She was probably on her period LOL


Edit: At least that ending ranks pretty high on the crazy anime scale. I liked it.

In just one scene: "Yo this is EARTH TALKING. I sent you 10000 years in the past along with 4 other couples, because Lavos has destroyed everything in the future. You are now immortal. The darwinist experiment you just did existed to choose the extra strong new Adam and Eve. Make babies with stat bonuses so they can kill Lavos in 10000 years.
Yeah, I can grant immortality and manipulate time but this is the best plan I could come up with."


Re-edit: I forgot to talk about the excellent battle advantage mechanic, which made every boss battle fun. It works well with only 2 PCs.

[Sierra]

Drakengard 3: I'd say this about sums it up for today: http://bigsuprises.com/images/2013/January/9/50ed195d5ed4a.jpg

[Jo'ou Ranbu]

what the fuck

WHAT?

[Grefter]

So you are saying Drakengaard 3 is ripping off way better games that were doing shitty gameplay before it was cool? 

Noted.

FFX-2 -  Started this up.  For some dumb reason I am following a guide for 100%.  DEM CHIEVOS?!??!? It is honestly a little better than I remember!  Dropping the combat speed to Slow and putting it to Wait helps the combat flow a bit better (it is very fast and spammy which I had forgot!).  There is like way more interaction with things flowing in real time than I recalled too.  I am kind of nearly maybe possibly digging it as a thought experiment.

It is a shame so much of it is brick walled behind an impenetrable wall of trying to make an open world JRPG while maintaining strict chapter based structure.

The plot stuff is even offending me a bunch less than last time.  Probably because playing it directly after FFX lets me remember just how fucking goofy the fashion sense of Spira is so things like Leblanc is less WTFGOAWAY and I can truely appreciate how amazing Nooj really is.  Also instead of being NOOOOO MAKE IT STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THESE CHARACTERS like the first time I saw the opening sequence I now realise that FFX-2 isn't a rampant cash grab at "female" market (ie just actually fanservice for creepy otaku).  It actually is a rampant cash grab at making an FF game in the style of Charlie's Angels movies (ie just actually fanservice for creepy otaku).

That goes a long way.  Also because of the previously mentioned going for dem chievos, I am playing along to Split Infinity's guide.  This is like playing through the lens of the target market because holy fuck he is a creep.  I have no idea how I missed this back in the day (until he started naming his FAQ versions after female characters in the games).  I would refuse to use them due to how pretty gross they can be if they weren't so comprehensive.  Sometimes it is beneficial to be Chaotic Neutral, ends justifies the means and the ends are whatever I want them to be.

[Sierra]

Gameplay? Hahaha. (Obviously it was a cutscene.)

[Dhyerwolf]

That goes a long way.  Also because of the previously mentioned going for dem chievos, I am playing along to Split Infinity's guide.  This is like playing through the lens of the target market because holy fuck he is a creep.  I have no idea how I missed this back in the day (until he started naming his FAQ versions after female characters in the games).  I would refuse to use them due to how pretty gross they can be if they weren't so comprehensive.  Sometimes it is beneficial to be Chaotic Neutral, ends justifies the means and the ends are whatever I want them to be.

I'm curious to hear more about this! I've read plenty of SI FAQs...but only for battle mechanics where nothing else really can be inserted without it being really weird.

[Jo'ou Ranbu]

He names his FAQ versions after in-game female names and makes lewd comments about the girls. It's very embarrassing.

[Grefter]

Case in point, his final version of FFX-2 is "Cool Rikku"

To start the first mission after the opening.

An alarm will go off - in the
elevator choose second option to reach bridge hallway. Approach your MN and
it's time for first HS! When prompted, squeeze Yuna's pretty a... um, I mean,
push action button.

'FR - upper tier': Because you can't really do it, you'll get a nice look at
Yuna's booty instead. Awww, c'mon how much longer will you keep pulling her
up, girls? When in control, go N.

[Jo'ou Ranbu]

Dear lord, if he ever ends up in court over a possible sexual harassment lawsuit or whatever, you could mail his entire FAQ collection to the prosecution as behavioral evidence.

[The Duck]

Dear lord, if he ever ends up in court over a possible sexual harassment lawsuit or whatever, you could mail his entire FAQ collection to the prosecution as behavioral evidence.

Pretty sure his youtube channel is already doing that job:

https://www.youtube.com/user/SplitPlaythru

[Anthony Edward Stark]

I am shocked and appalled that someone who spends that much time on video games is a creepy weirdo.

[Fenrir]

I did the optional stuff in Chaos Rings and I don’t think I want to do it 3 other times? 
This game basically has the weakest randoms in any game. I was level 30 and could autobattle some level 91 enemies.


FFX-2 HD: It was cheap. I have FFX HD too if I get bored.
The logic behind which cutscene is skippable and which isn't seems arbitrary so it’s kind of like the lottery!


Paine solo GO
I’m planning to not ever use a guide or else I might end up with reviving Tidus. No way.

- Ormi + Logos : Lol
- Leblanc : Lol
First dungeon. Yuna’s running animation is completely ridiculous. Enemies are so easy, except Ahrimen.
- Ormi Logos + Leblanc : Surprisingly decent! Logos has h4x infinite turns. I died once due to entering the fight blinded by an Ahriman with no eye drop in sight. Then I blinded Ormi and Logos, stole all their shit and beat them with a fan.
- Boris: The game was handing me a bunch 200 HP potions in the first dungeon so I was not very afraid of 50 damage attacks. For fun I ALSO blinded and power down'd the fuck out of him.

Next I can actually explore so I just go raid some villages for their sweet loot.
10 seconds later I am giving balloons to children. FFX-2/ 10
I realize that Paine is actually super lame because she has all these dreadful one liners. “Smoking is BAD for you” *Uses Fire* Still better than Rikku (She probably slept with Brother. Gross) and Yuna (She slept with Tidus. Super-gross)
- Besaid dragon: Another Boss Owned By Blind. I should note that this new dressphere is pretty awesome. Warrior-ish stats + Damage&Status from the beginning of the game. It's FFT Beowulf in FFX-2.

BTW Grefter was 100% right

[Tonfa]

Paine solo forbids the use of a turbo-twinked Malboro, does not compute

[Twilkitri]

New Super Mario Bros. U - Beaten

Really not a fan of the physics in this game.

Happily, I managed to find a bunch of secret exits in the latter half of the game which ended up skipping most of it. No intention of going for any sort of completeness.

Thought the final was fairly entertaining, at least.



Famaze - Beaten

Fairly entertaining the first couple of times you play through, but doesn't really have much staying power?

If I could have found the 7th artifact, I would have played for less than half the time I ended up playing. In the end I got so sick of it that I tampered with the save file. The true ending wasn't worth it.

It's not even like the artifact should have been difficult to find, the other six were all just in each of the miniature levels. But there were only six miniature levels available as far as I could find? One of them seemed to be repeated, so maybe my copy of the game was broken somehow.



Half-Minute Hero: The Second Coming - completed assuming you ignore going for 100 points in Infinite Hero

Pretty great.

Smear-graphics aren't even an option this time, so someone at Marvellous came to their senses.

The game is all Hero 30 style, so on the off-chance that someone actually liked any of the other styles in the original game I guess that's bad news for them, but I thought that Evil Lord 30 and Princess 30 were terrible so it's all fine by me.

The Global system is much more gamer-friendly than the original's level select system - no more having to shuffle your equipment around before retrying old levels - but it does feel a bit like they threw balance to the sharks, letting you take endgame equipment and G-Level into the very first levels. Also means that the storyline is nowhere near as branchy as the original's - and the only branches I can remember are of the sort where they're just letting you choose what order to do levels in, where you still need to play them all in order to progress. So that's kind of a downgrade.

I tried Infinite Hero Normal and got to 89 or so, which feels like kind of a good score but also took long enough that I have no interest in trying again.



Etrian Odyssey IV - beaten

Also pretty great.

I am confused that the party doesn't seem to have ruined everything, per tradition but maybe revealing that is left for the postgame.

Can I assume that the postgame is still mainly for the benefit of crazy people? I guess I have seen people claiming that the dragons in 4 are the easiest they've ever been so I might throw my party at one and see how things go. Did barely beat Iwaoropenelep, which probably technically counts as postgame content, but which I also assume has nowhere near the power of the dragons.

Party was Landsknecht (Imperial), Fortress (Dancer), Medic (Arcanist), Sniper (Nightseeker), and Runemaster (Bushi). I hardly touched the subclasses and mainly just used them for the extra SP.

[Fenrir]

I didn't even know you could control monsters in FFX-2. I'll replace Paine with something obviously superior like a Marlboro if it's much better.

I can't help to get sick amount of APs in every battle. I use special abilites, steal from every enemy, etc.
It's especially hard to resist farming White Mage, who's all "Dude just keep your finger on that X button for 5 minutes and you'll have 60 more APs"

Dressphere ranking so far:
- The new Beowulf job: Actually totally overpowered. Best HP, tied for best attack, second best vitality, second best evasion, no weakpoints. Status + Damage attacks, and some Esuna spell that also heals. Wow. The two other girls are stuck with crappy elemental attacks instead of this sick stuff.
- Warrior: Worse than Beowulf in everything but vitality (but the lower Hps compensate). Spellsword is shit. Stat downs can be moderately useful. Mad Rush is fun but Haste wears off after like 2 turns.
- Gunner: High damage against low defense, nothing else.
- Songstress: No
- Thief: Steals everything. High durability thanks to evasion.
- Black Mage: Bad durability makes this job too dangerous. Ethers aren't growing on trees either, even if I'm stealing from every living thing I see.
- White Mage: Inferior to potions so far, but THAT AP FARM

[Tonfa]

Yeah you even get a new dressphere for doing the first monster arena thing. Despite its name you can enter with any kind of party.

The Festivalist is actually pretty good on Rikku, the elemental attacks do three half (75% for holy) power chain hits which adds up to respectable damage, or in case of gravity if you're not immune cHP damage+chains = oops you died. Never did try Yuna's

Edit: Oh yeah talk to Shinra for the monster stuff

[Fenrir]

Oh man I could have soloed the game with Brother!!

I might switch Paine for a L monster once in a while, but I think the novelty will wear off after a while.

[Fenrir]

Thanks Tonfa.
Psychic Paine is the best thing.

[Grefter]

Better than Thief Paine's thong over bike shorts with giant holes in them?  Look forward to it.

I am still fucking around with side shit because 100% is 100% stupid.

Also you need to break your solo to win a fight with Black Mage Rikku and marvel at Liefeld Victory Pose.



*WINK*

[Cotigo]

Leifeld pose?

dude it is perfectly possible for a human body to bend that way

after like an hour of doing yoga

and only for like 15 seconds

and you have to be sitting down for it while pushing your forearm against your bent leg to get the twist

[Grefter]

Liefeld pose.  Like this



He is a super successful comic book artist from a strange era of comics, the 90s.

[Fenrir]

WOO

In her exit dressphere animation she somehow flies into space with her jetpack arms like Iron Man

This is the only non-bad suit she has that I've seen. Everything else is like 0 or 1/10.


I can't use it yet because I've unlocked it in the arena by fighting with a dragon. She can't beat the arenas by herself because there's a Castlevania Birds formation that's just way too strong for herself alone.

[Jo'ou Ranbu]

holy mother of christ

what
the
hell

[Sierra]

Drakengard 3: All this time I was playing Hatoful Boyfriend and I didn't even know it.

Ending A get. lol go back and get a less crappy ending scrub. La la la la la. La la la la la. La la la la la.