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Week 3 - Quarterfinals




Ghaleon (Lunars) Ghaleon vs Loki Loki (VP1)

SageAcrin
*A week before the match.*

"How the hell do you beat a psychopath like Ghaleon, anyways?" Loki pondered.

"...it's not him being a psychopath that lets him win, you idiot." Orlandu answered. "It's his combination of high armor, high strength, and double-casting various powerful spells."

"But I have all that!" Loki said, annoyed.

"Correction: You cast magical spells that deal damage of various elements. That does not classify as vast or double-casting. You lack both so-called "Instant Death" and "Chaos Shield" classification spells, the latter of which is so rare that it is usually referred to by the name of Ghaleon's spell. Also, you are attempting to obtain advice from a Godlike who both hates you and has beaten you in combat. This would seem inadvisable." KOS-MOS said.

"...why do you keep her around?" Loki asked, glaring at the scantily-clad android.

"One: She occasionally chews out idiots effectively. Two: She's eye-candy. Three: It ticks off Shion that I successfully managed an injunction against Xenosaga 3 plot actually existing within 100 feet of me, so I try to keep her around as much as possible. The personality change ticks Shion off royally." Orlandu grinned. "Isn't that enough?"

"Bah. You're no help." Loki said, annoyed, as he rose from the table. "You just want to see Ghaleon champ. Again."

"Hmph. Why don't you come up with some anti-Magical Girl tactics?" Orlandu said, chuckling.

"...anti-Magical Girl, eh. Of course! That's the secret to his power!" Loki said, slapping his forehead. "I have the Dragon Orb, he must have some magical item that triggers his transformation! How could I be so foolish!?" He yelled, rushing off.

"...How could you be so foolish?" Orlandu asked the empty air.

*Two days later.*

Loki searched day and night.

No amount of suffering would hinder him.

No amount of pain would ever stop his search.

"And then his stupid girl-toys stuffed me in Kenji's locker." Loki said, hacking, as climbed out. "That can't possibly be legal!"

"...legal? You haven't been here very long." Juan said, yawning. "Now maybe I can get some sleep without you screaming and pounding on things."

"...you heard that? I've been in there a day and a half!" "Yeah. It kept waking me up. It was annoying." Juan yawned again, and walked back to his room. "Worthless cretin. By the Power of the O-"

"Ahem." Geddoe politely tapped Loki on the shoulder.

Just before casting Hammer of Rajin on him.

"It's not polite to attack people who can't, and don't want to, fight back, after they've helped you." Geddoe added, as he walked past the sizzling Loki.

"...I hate this place. They're talking about even letting in more of those stupid Valkyries. Maybe I should just leave. After all, there's no chance of finding Ghaleon's weaknesses, and I have nothing but bad luck..."

Loki cut off.

"Wait. Weaknesses. I've been going about this all wrong. All Magical Girls have the same weaknesses!" Loki said. "Of course!"

*Five days later.*

"So Ghaleon's...stable, now?" Royce asked, glancing past Xenobia at the fine figure the Magical Emperor cut, framed by the bright morning sunlight, as he waited in the arena.

"Sure. As stable as he's gotten since that bastard Timelord did that to him." Xenobia shrugged. "He's fine. Just as long as nothing triggers him off."

"Hmmm. But everyone tries to trigger him off to win lately." Royce said, dubiously. "So we kill them." "Oh, right. And then him." "Good, you do remember his plan." Xenobia nodded. "Anyways, the people that trigger him off never manage to win, so it's not a huge problem that way, at least."

Royce smiled. "Even psychotic, he can't be beaten. Where the hell is Loki, anywa-..." Royce cut off, as she watched Loki's entrance into the arena.

"Entrance" was a good term for it. As Royce watched, a giant, clunky, bright red giant robot was seen to soar majestically into the arena on massive jets of flame. As the mecha settled to the ground, a man lept out of it, garbed in skin-tight spandex and a bright red space helmet.

"Magical Girl Ghaleon, your time on this earth is over! The world no longer needs a double-edged savior such as you! Galactic Warrior Loki is here to save the day!" Loki cried, taking off his helmet, the sun glinting off both helmet and helmet-hair.

Then posed.

Needless to say, the entire crowd fell over laughing. Oddly, it didn't seem to phase either combatant.

"Is that so? Hmhm. Idiot. I'm not a Magical Girl, and I never will be! Time to die!" Ghaleon said, preparing to blast Loki with Hell Wave...

...and stopped.

"Ahaha! So you see my assistant!" Loki said, smirking. "Even a true hero sometimes has to make an alliance with the Darkness to defeat a greater evil!" He added.

As Dark Force writhed into the arena.

"With the aid of the Profound Darkness, Dark Force has been forged into your worst nightmare! With the writhing tentacles, high speed, magic resistance, and incredible stamina that can only be called forth from pure evil's hellish heart! You are finished!" Loki said dramatically.

Then posed again.

"...Is that legal?" Empyrea asked, from her specially prepared extra-large seat in the judges box.

"...the new judges ask such stupid questions." Yunalesca said. "Mmm." Zog nodded.

"...eheh...hahaha....haaaaaaaaahahahaahaaha!" A wild, dangerous glint had entered Ghaleon's eye. "Magical Girl this, Magical Girl that, I'll never live down this stupid slander, will I!? No, I'll just have to erase you all from this world! TIME TO DIE! TIME TO DIE! TIME TO DIE!!!" Ghaleon shrieked, as he pelted both Loki and Dark Force with spell after spell.

"...how the hell is he doing that?" Royce said, stunned at the massive magical onslaught. Hell Wave after Hell Wave, elemental spell following elemental spell so closely that shards of rock blew in the wind and steam blanketed the arena.

"...I think he's just that pissed." Xenobia noted.

Twenty five minutes later, the battle was over.

Technically, it was over when Loki brought in outside interference.

Also technically, Loki was probably dead within thirty seconds, but it was impossible to confirm until the exhausted Ghaleon finally stopped casting spells in the general direction Loki once existed in.

Regardless, Ghaleon was the victor.

"...are you okay?" Royce said worriedly, as Ghaleon, panting, walked slowly back to his room.

Ghaleon giggled. "Oh, I'm fine. Just had to destroy that hideous evil. You know how those things go, you have to kill them in one attack." Ghaleon said, smiling, as he spoke in soprano. "Come on, let's go." He added, in a normal tone of voice.

"...well, this is....better than these things normally turn out, at least. I guess. Probably." Xenobia noted dubiously.

---

Loki may have been so badly defeated that the only thing they found to ressurect him from was his ring finger-only found because it happened to be in his helmet-but he still didn't really come out so badly, all things considered.

As it turned out, Galactic Warrior Loki had already gotten a following among the children of the League. His dark past, his flowing, bishie good looks, his giant mecha, his willingness to make a compact with the darkness that he had defeated, for the good of all, yes, here was a true hero! Willing to die for the good of the League, to slay it's foul overlord once and for all!

The resulting anime deal may have brought him money, but he didn't need it. He was a god.

He did need love, though.

Why else would you try to rule the world?

Ghaleon: 44
Loki: 39


Indalecio (SO2) Indalecio vs Luis Virgil Luis Virgil (XS1)

Sei
Indalecio and Virgil...

Respected duelists in Godlike...

Feared villains of their respective dimensions...

Beings with vaguely described but likely immeasurable plot powers...

And now...

Cosplay Artists

"Someone will die for this." Indalecio said with gritted teeth as he tried to stretch the skirt of his custom-sized but still very undersized School Girl outfit.

"Wait in line." Virgil growled as he tried to re-position his cotton panties in a more comfortable manner.

"Now now, gentlemen. You shouldn't talk like that in front of the judges." Shion chirped "You wouldn't want to get disqualified, right?"

"Now, for the next part, we want you to slowly undress each other while rubbing chocolate all over one another's body." Shana instructed cheerily.

"Then, we want you to lick the chocolate off each other. And we want you to do it slowly and sensually, especially from that place, and around those places, and most definitely from all over that place too. Kyaaa~" Rinoa finished while holding her then flaming cheeks.

Indalecio and Virgil took one look at the judges, one look at the buckets of chocolate, then one look at each other and nodded.

"Screw it, some things are worth more than winning." The Wise Man said.

"Race you on who can slaughter them first?" Virgil asked.

"You're on!"

And thus, the two Godlikes charged at the judges and proceeded to tear them apart with their bare hands, because really, these stuff are more satsifyingly done personally than with long-ranged magic. Virgil lost since he got off the ring first, but victory was the furthest thing from his mind at this point.

Meanwhile, in a place just one pocket dimension away...

Anastasia (Valeria) leaned back on her La-Z-Boy and smiled happily. "I gotta admit Deis, anonymously mailing the instructions to those three idiots so we can have a floor show without getting killed? Genius."

"Why of course. And thank you Belial for lending us your personal dimesion for this viewing." Deis responded as she tossed some popcorn in her mouth.

"Eh, no big. What's a little space manipulation amongst people with similar interest?" The Mistress of Space said while floating in the air and enjoying the show. "Little Ana, how's the recording?"

"A-Okay!" Anastasia (Romanov) responded from her video recorder with a thumbs-up. "Oo~h. Indalecio's uniform got torn off while he was trying to break Shion's neck."

And so, the day ends with everyone happy. Indalecio and Virgil got to slaughter their judges, female perverts everywhere got to see buff Godlikes in the buff, and everyone got to watch the senseless carnage of Shion, Shana, and Rinoa.

What's that? Those last three didn't have anything to be happy about? Pfft, who cares about them.

Indalecio: 47
Luis Virgil: 26


Yuri Volte Hyuga (SHs) Yuri Volte Hyuga vs Seymour Seymour (FFX)

superaielman
Edge's recovery from the horrors of Fuku Zidane and Gala was a painful one. Far from bouncing back at his usual rapid rate, Edge was moping around and slowly recovering. Not even Rydia dressed as a female ninja could stir Edge's interest for more than a few hours. Of all things, it was an offhanded comment about who Yuri was fighting that sprung him into action. "Yeah, Seymour's a tough bastard. It'll be a tough fight, even if the oddsmakers have the odds of me winning 5-1. No need to pull out the Creamonade weapondry."

"You're fighting who?" Yuri looked up at the ceiling, and groaned. Edge stood on hanging from the ceiling, dressed in his usual outfit. "Seymour. Why do you want to know, Edge? I don't like that look in your eye. The last time you got that look, I ended up in a body cast and you had a hot date." Edge's silent smirk told Yuri everything he needed to know. Edge vanished a split second later, making no more noise than he did upon entry.

"Scratch that, Lexis. Prepare everything you got. I have a feeling it's going to be a long week."


---

Yuri had prepared as much as humanely possible. The entire combined cast of both Shadow Hearts games stood behind him, armed to the teeth and with as much healing as possible. Even the elusive Kato had agreed to provide security help, with the Mutant Apes guarding the exits in case Yuri had to make a quick retreat. The arena was otherwise packed, as expected in such an epic godlike brawl. Yuri looked over at Seymour, and mentally sighed. He'd be happy if he got out of this with a win. With the sound of the bell starting combat, Yuri stepped into Seraphic Radiance, ready for one hell of a magical brawl.

What he got was an explosion. Yuri barely flinched at the explosion, and quickly to see what the hell had happened.

The entrance Ouka was guarding looked like it had been leveled with an Ultima, with Ouka flung all the way over into the nosebleeds seats in the other side of the arena. The Unconscious Mutant Ape had the horrible luck to be flung into a stunned Zidane's arms. Even more unluckily, she landed chest first, so Zidane got a face full of her most impressive assets. Kato happened to see this. With a roar, he charged over to where the stunned monkeyboy was sitting and proceeded to lay down a beating that made his last battle with Nicolai look tame. Yuri shrugged off the horrible carnage occuring in the nosebleed seats and glanced over to where Seymour was standing, expecting a chainof Firaga spells or Ultima to be hurled at him. What Yuri saw instead was a horde of women swarming the Maester, shredding him with spells and swords. Not even Seymour Omnis had a chance of surviving that assault. Yuri twitched. There was only one person who could have caused so much havoc in so short a time. Only one so devious and twisted as to explode half an arena and somehow kill Zidane without even meaning to do it.

.."EDGE! Where the hell are you, and what the hell did you do to my match?"

"You see, ladies? This is why the perverted must be crushed at all costs! NO MORE SAILOR GALAS!"

Yuri simply stared in shock as Edge jumped down from the balcony seats, holding a shredded dagger that one belonged to Zidane. "I'll keep this as a momento. Hey, Yuri. Thought I'd surprise you with my latest venture here. Zidane and other perverted losers need to pay for the image of... *shudder*...Gala in a Fuku. I'll make them pay. I'll make them all pay! It was easy to talk a bunch of the DL ladies into joining me, and.. they appointed me the leader. I'm the offical leader of the DL Godlike ladies's anti perversion division. Isn't it grand? Oh, don't worry about the match; Yuna was a judge and she hates Seymour and I'm so awesome and Bowser is doomed and... Yuri?"


Yuri turned around in the middle of the speech and began walking out. "Gepetto, still got that stash of old brandy in your room? Good. Get it for me. I want to be too drunk to have a hand in whatever Edge is doing. It's going to end up badly."

Yuri Volte Hyuga: 66
Seymour: 25


Ellen Kirishima (Pers) Ellen Kirishima vs Dhaos Dhaos (ToP)

Meeplelard
It took the entire army of Midgard, powered with their big massive cannon and their artificial magic, Cress and his band of warriors, and the help of Martel and all the other spirits to bring Dhaos down...and he still managed to come back twice more, all in different time periods.

Ellen has an alter ego with some mysterious powers, and really bad voice acting on her side.

As one sided as this match sounds, though, the real clincher is that Ellen is still a school girl at heart, and as we all know, Schoolgirls all have one universal weakness: Massively Powerful Bishes, which is the first thing Dhaos puts on his resume!

Ellen Kirishima: 18
Dhaos: 34




Beatrix (FF9) Beatrix vs Athos Athos (FE7)

Sei
Ah, Athos. Great Archsage, one of the legendary Heroes of Elibe, ancient master magician with a millenia's worth of knowledge and spells...

Beatrix: "Reflect"

All that means diddly squat when you can't get around a basic enchantment that most duelists with a bit of White Magic experience can cast.

Beatrix: 71
Athos: 12


Lyon (S5) Lyon vs Millenia Millenia (G2)

SageAcrin
"You know, I could just slay you in one shot." Lyon said, smiling.

"The feeling is mutual, little girl." Millenia said, grinning. "My eye will be on you soon enough."

"Yes, but you're wearing high heels." Lyon noted. "You can't possibly do anything fast enough wearing those."

"...damnit. That has been the problem. I hadn't thought of it. Then again, a girl can't go into battle looking her worst..." Millenia mumbled to herself. "Anyways, let's get on with it."

"Sure." Lyon said, grinning.

As she rushed up to Millenia and slashed at her a few times.

"Huh? Aren't you, you know, supposed to try to actually kill me first, not tickle me-"

"Elena!" Lyon called out, after finishing her last slash.

Then Millenia was caught in a White Apocalypse.

Elena giggled. "I always wanted to do that to her. Even getting more used to her still hasn't made dealing with her easy."

"...aren't combo attacks illegal?" Millenia muttered, as she came to.

"Sure. Does it really matter to you?" Lyon asked curiously. "I mean, I would have won anyways..."

"Not really. I need to go kill Elena before she hides." Millenia mumbled.

Lyon: 34
Millenia: 31


Luc (Suikos) Luc vs Delita Hyral Delita Hyral (FFT)

CmdrKing
Rapturous in his newfound philosophy, Luc had little trouble deciding upon a winning strategy for his battle with Delita. It would be an exhausting display, but it would be well worth it.

Thus, the match started, and rather than facing a short and frail wind mage, he instead saw Teta, jerkily moving towards him as though a puppet on a string. The perpetually non-dead young girl circled her brother as though in a dance, bobbing a little as though nearly fainting.

Luc had made a slight miscalculation. He had assumed that, while the fine control needed to move a.... well, ALMOST a corpse, using air would be difficult, it wouldn't drain his magical resources significantly, allowing him to blast Delita out of the ring at the climax of Teta's dance. Instead, however, he was nearly passing out midway through.

Needless to say, Delita, enraged beyond mere words, quickly made Luc pay for his miscalculation, smashing Luc with his blade quickly even by the standards of Luc facing down physical attacks.

Waking up a few hours later, Luc pondered. "It seems Teta jokes are overdone. Oh well. Best to build up favor for next time. Sarah!" he called, knowing that the pale woman wouldn't be far. "It seems we must visit Alma Kinan afterall. Oh, don't make that face, it's just for a few months of... training."

Luc: 36
Delita Hyral: 54

metroid composite
It's almost inconcievable to imagine Luc losing. I mean, the man is -dead sexy-, what could ever top that? Unfortunately for him, Delita is also dead sexy....




Justin (G1) Justin vs Geno Geno (SMRPG)

superaielman
So last week's plan didn't go so well. Who cares? Even a mental genius like Rune has his occassional setbacks from time to time. He wasn't especially worried this week. He himself had gone no further in heavy than this round. There was no way a mental midget like Justin would go to the semifinals, let alone beat a possible Godlike like Geno on the way. All he needed to do was secure a ticket (Easy for someone with as much charisma as Rune) to the match, and watch Geno kick Justin's sorry ass all over the arena.


---

Rune's front row seats gave him a perfect view of the action. Geno was easily the faster of the two, and opened the fight by firing off a Geno Whirl, instant win against most heavies. Rune raised an eyebrow. "..Surely Geno was informed that Justin immuned Instant Death..."

The shock on Geno's face told Rune everything there. "..Surely Geno isn't so stupid as to sit there and not try to squeeze in a Geno Flash..."


Justin's axe landing home on Geno's body was all the response the Esper needed.

.."Surely Geno knows that Justin's Instant Death is deadly by the fourth swing of his axe and that he must strike quickly.." Geno Boost going off left Rune shaking his head. He knew what was coming next. Justin's axe landed right in the center of Geno's chest, striking a fatal blow that sliced through all of his defenses.

"..And the winner thanks to Instant Death, Justin!" Rune was gone before the judges even finished speaking.

---

Rune was so deep into Monologing that he barely noticed the fangirls throwing himself at him. He had far more important things to deal with than his army of fans. "That Aura of Idiocy is too powerful. Even a Heavy as strong as Geno had no defenses against it's brain sapping powers. That idiot somehow got his way to the heavy semifinals. Judging by who he's facing next round, they'll barely be a bump in the road. Could the Aura of Idiocy be enough to get Justin back in godlike? Impossible! Yet... no. I can't risk the shame of that fool a whole division ahead of me once again. It's time to make a top at Bowman's and solve this problem once and for all."
---

Rune smiled when he got an magical page from Bowman. The shipment of potions had come. Rune quickly ordered the potions brought to his room, and invited Justin to come in. His successful match against Geno gave him the perfect excuse to lure the idiot into his rooms.

---

"What do you mean you bought me all of these potions? For me?! Thanks Rune! You'll say they'll make me smarter, huh? I better drink on up then!"

---

With a burp, Justin chugged the last potion. "Whew.. those weren't drinks, though. They tasted like candy. It was great! Oh well, nothing to worry about. Thanks for the treat, Rune!" The smile Rune directed at Justin's back was -evil-. The Aura of Idiocy was finished.

---

Walking into Bowman's place afterwards was an enjoyble stroll. Rune had enjoyed the simple walk. With Justin's Aura of Idiocy gone, things were looking up. He had plenty of time to get his revenge on his rival, but for now? A nice walk would do just fine. That and clearing up the bill with Bowman. Rune approached the counter, and dropped a medium sized sack of gold on Bowman's counter. "Thanks for the INT potions, Bowman. I threw in a little extra as thanks. I'd stay and chat, but I have important things to do."

Rune was nearly to the door when the sound of a dry cough stopped him in his tracks. "INT potions? Rune, I gave you ten magic tabs. Those are roughly twenty times as powerful. You didn't feed all of those to one person, did you?"

The dawning look of horror on Rune's face was mirrored by Bowman's equally grim face. "Wha.. what did I just do? I gave them all to Justin. Boost his intellegence a little bit, get rid of the Aura of Idiocy.."

Bowman shuddered. "You increased Justin's mental powers by a dozenfold. If my quick calculations are right, you just made him the smartest human creature in the duelling league. "

Rune's eyes rolled in the back of his head, and he hit the floor with a thud. Bowman was too worried to much care. "I have to figure out a counteragent. If Justin's smart enough to figure out everything Rune's done to him.. this could be bad."

---

Justin stopped suddenly about halfway back to his room, and looked back at Rune, who was casually walking away.

"So that's what he really thinks about me?"

His smile was not pleasant.

Justin: 46
Geno: 23




Edge Eblan (FF4) Edge Eblan vs Bowser Koopa Bowser Koopa (SMRPG)

SageAcrin
"Hrmph. Where the hell is Edge? Did he just leave without fighting me? Well, it's not like he has much of a chance against the King of the Koopas! Kyahahaha!" Bowser said, snickering. "Though, he's not the type to flee."

Then an explosion could be heard from a arena over.

"Humph. This is dull. Someone's blowing stuff up, and it's not me. What's next, someone kidnaps a Princess and shows her off in front of me? That's it, I'm getting out of here. He's not showing." Bowser said, grumpily, as he turned to leave.

Suddenly a chorus could be heard from nearby.

"...sai..." "No more..."

"...what is that?"

"...more Sailor Ga..."

"...no more Sai..."

"No more Sailor Galas! No more Sailor Galas! NO MORE SAILOR GALAs! NO MORE SAILOR GALAS!!!" The cries of an angry mob could be heard.

Edge walked into the arena, flanked by women.

Bowser stared blankly. Garnet til Alexandros. Nadia Leene. Rosa Harvey. Nina. Nina. Nina. Nina.

And Princess Toadstool. His Toadstool.

In here. With Edge. After an explosion. Glaring at him.

There were no other conclusions to be drawn.

"Bowser, your time is u-" Edge was cut off by Bowser's anguished scream.

Then Bowser punched through the floor, collapsing it.

Bowser was out like a light by the time anyone got to him. From the fall or from shock was debatable. Since Edge was in the arena and no one but Bowser had done...well, anything...Edge was declared the winner by default.

Bowser has attempted to go into a nunnery.

When informed that he was not, in fact, a woman, he snapped out of it. Defeat doesn't really phase him much, not even to this degree.

And so, Bowser panty-raided a nunnery.

Edge Eblan: 72
Bowser Koopa: 20


Sharon (S3) Sharon vs Gau Gau (S3)

Gatewalker
After his smashing success against Seraphita, Gau was ready to use his new technique on more challenging opponents. Facing off against Sharon, Gau knew he would have to get the drop on her to make it work this time.

As soon as the bell sounded the start of the match, the kobold was off like a rocket, leaping towards the young girl with a vicious howl…only to be rather stunned as he rammed his face right into her shield. Within moments, things got even more confusing for the startled Gau as Sharon dropped her spear and quickly tied his mouth shut with a length of rope, and moved on to practically hogtieing the poor man just a moment later.

Leaving her opponent helpless and tied up in the middle of the ring, Sharon accepted her victory with grace and decorum…and then went spastic and starting jumping around whooping and hollering about how she was the best.

Applauding his protégé’s efforts, Futch came into the ring to cut the ropes off of Gau, chuckling as he helped the bewildered kobold up. “Piece of advice to you, Gau. Before you try jumping on someone like some kind of wild animal, make sure they aren’t trained to subdue ornery dragons first, okay?”

Sharon: 69
Gau: 15

Meeplelard
When it comes down to it, Gau is STILL nothing more than a Suikoden Kobold. This factor alone gives Sharon the edge in everything that matters, proving yet again that Suikoden and Canines do not mix.




Yumi (S3) Yumi vs Kyle Kyle (S5)

Gatewalker
It was a good plan, really. Yumi made sure that Kyle had a good view of her and Yuiri making out when the match started, and just as planned, the lecherous Queen’s Knight just sat back and enjoyed the show instead of attacking. Everything seemed to be going perfectly until Yumi brought her hand up to cast a quick Earthquake spell on the distracted Kyle, hopefully to end the match in one blow.

You see, it seems that Yumi was far more distracted by Yuiri nibbling on her neck then Kyle was. As the Kinain archer began her spell, Kyle darted forward with great speed and in one fluid motion, severed the tendons in her casting wrist.

Staring at her wound in shock, Yumi could only stand there in stunned silence, while Yuiri brought up her crossbow to defend her now defenseless love. Kyle, however, simply sheathed his sword and reached for Yumi’s arm, “Come on, just call the match and I’ll heal that up for you. You can’t beat me like that anyway, right? So how about it?”

Seeing no other options, Yumi just nodded her assent and called the match. True to his word, Kyle healed her arm and grinned at the two girls, “Come on, you should’ve known better then to try that on me. I’m from Falena, lesbians are a dime a dozen around there. No hard feelings though, right? How about you let me buy you two ladies a drink and I’ll introduce you to Cathari and Lucretia. I bet you’d like those two.”

Eyeing the knight suspiciously, Yuiri lowered her crossbow, but still looked ready to fight at the drop of a hat, “Oh, and give you a chance to get us drunk enough that your little pervert schemes will work? Not a chance.”

Kyle just rolled his eyes, “Oh come on, I’m no worse of a womanizer than you Alma Kinain girls are. Can’t a guy just try to be friendly anymore? Hey, I’ll even bring Lady Sialeeds along, she can smack me if I get out of line. Needs to be at least one woman there I can hit on anyway.”

Unable to refute his argument, Yuiri looked over at Yumi, who nodded, and agreed to the drink. “Maybe you aren’t all so bad, after all. Maybe.”

Morale of the story: When perverts and lesbians learn to co-operate, everyone wins. Yumi and Yuiri get free drinks and get to meet more girls they can preach the virtues of living in Alma Kinain to, and Kyle gets to hang out in a bar with a bunch of lesbians who are steadily getting tipsy. Everyone wins. Well, maybe Kyle doesn't win SO much. He also now has Zidane and Sten and the rest of that crew begging him to teach them his skills.

Yumi: 17
Kyle: 57


Frog (CT) Frog vs Elena Elena (G2)

SageAcrin
The beautiful, shy girl.

The man, changed into a hideous frog.

Everyone knows how these stories go.

---

"...what!? No! I hate frogs! I thought it was just a figure of speech, a weird name! EYAAAAAA!" Elena shrieked, as she rapidly cast spell after spell, blasting Frog with an impressive chained assault.

Actually, this was exactly what Frog wanted to have happen. A clever strategist, he'd noted that this was a simple attrition fight. Elena was running out of gas.

Elena knew that, too, but this was a giant talking frog.

However, sometimes, dumb luck gets us all.

For, as the parrying, defending, healing Frog was forced over to the arena edge, Quina reached down, grabbed him, and stuffed half of his body into his/her mouth.

This isn't the dumb luck part, not when Quina's been waiting for this chance since the first moment s/he saw Frog.

The dumb luck involved Quina spitting out the rapidly-stabbing Frog into the stands, for a ringout.

Of course, interference was called, but after much thought, it was determined to not be Elena's fault Frog is, in fact, a frog. (To Elena's great relief.) It wasn't fair to her to call the match against her for what Quina did.

So, ultimately, another frog is doomed due to Quina's actions. Quite normal, really.

The only real difference is the part where Frog offered to let Quina eat the world's largest frog, casting Frog Squash to show it to him/her.

The resulting attempt to eat it whole made League medical history. Quina now holds the record for largest object eaten whole in the entire League-well, the man-sized part of it, at any rate. Despite the inability to get through doors-or out of the arena-Quina's pretty happy about this.

It wasn't until the fourth one that Frog finally managed to kill Quina like this. He decided to give up trying to kill Quina-it clearly wasn't worth the effort.

On the upside, Quina's not after Frog anymore. Food dispensers are more useful than food.

Frog: 42
Elena: 44




White Wizard (FF1) White Wizard vs Vincent DeBoule Vincent DeBoule (S2)

jaymthegenius@yahoo.com
Vincent DeBoule, one of the most entertaining charicters to use in Suikoden (then switch him out for Pesmergia when you get serious), especially hus dual tech that rains roses, this is honestly a match that can go either way, however Suikodens level system is quite fixed, HP's are about even, as it turns out whitemage wins with Vincent running out of stamina, and Thors hammer knocks him unconcious.

White Wizard: 53
Vincent DeBoule: 24


Mint Adenade (ToP) Mint Adenade vs Chaz Chaz (SF2)

hinode
Chaz's spells may be powerful - even moreso compared to his opponent's mighty staff whacks - but they're also limited by his relatively low MP supply, meaning Mint can easily heal off all his spellpower with her own plentiful TP.

And when he does run out of MP, what we're left with an epic slapfight reminiscent of two blind, crippled crackaddicts attempting to bludgeon each other to death with life-sized Mikuru body pillows. Except that one of said crackaddicts can still heal herself a few dozen times, meaning she comes away with the victory... if not her personal dignity.

Mint Adenade: 48
Chaz: 6


Lyonesse (Brig) Lyonesse vs Keele Ziebel Keele Ziebel (ToE)

Sei
t was a Magic duel like none other. Spells were thrown around with wild abandon and with no concern for collateral damage. Keele dealt damage of all flavors, but Lyonesse calmly casted one protective enchantment after another while healing whenever her life points reached dangerously low numbers. Then, moments before the Queen of Leonia could gain full control of the battlefield and begin her counter-attack, Keele saw an opportuniy, gathered his mana, and unleashed his trump card.

"I tap for 4 red and cast Flashfires to destroy all your Plains. After that resolves, I cast a Dark Ritual to add three black mana to my mana pool then tap all my Swamps to cast a 4-point Drain Life targetting you. With Furnace of Rath in play and doubling damage, you lose 8 life points, bringing your life down to 0. Do you have any way to prevent the damage?"

Lyonesse, now with no mana to cast the cards in her hand or activate her Circle of Protection: Black, could only gape in shock at her loss. "But... how..."

Keele smiled smugly. "I told you being mono-White was a bad idea."

Lyonesse: 20
Keele Ziebel: 23


Rennac (FE8) Rennac vs Cai Cai (Brig)

superaielman
Rennac's a dirty fighter. How dare he steal Cai's spellbook, robbing him of his magic. ;_; Caerleon's leader had no choice but to retreat and fight another way!

Literally. Cai attacked Rennac three days later, with Dinadain and Merriot as support along with a strong army. Ever seen a Rouge try to outslug a Salamander with a sword?


Well, neither did Rennac, as he got promptly got turned into ash by a swarm of surly Dragons.

Rennac: 26
Cai: 25