Monstrous durability can only get you so far. Jecht might have a lot more staying power than the mad clown, but Kefka's got far more offense right off the bat. And since Kefka is *much* faster to boot...well let's just say that Jecht's going to be more of a punching bag than a threat.
Starphoenix das Helpoemer
Secure in the prospect that her Cosmic Magic would be unblockable, Genevieve felt completely UNSTOPPABLE in the presence Ellen. So much so that the night before the match, Genevieve took in a movie.
Unfortunately for her, Ellen had made a stop by the local Rumormongering Office earlier in the week and paid for a fairly specific rumor to be spread. A rumor that (in someone's odd universe) would become true if enough people hear and believe it.
Even more unfortunately for Genevieve was that it was the opening night for X-Men 3: The Last Stand.
It's strange how horribly wrong a rumor about someone being "Swept away by a Wave" can go when said rumor pertains to a legion (or wave if you aren't that picky) of fanboys trampling on said victim.
Poor Genevieve. They say that they'll need to do a skin graft to get rid of that boot mark on her face. We all wish her a speedy recovery.
Dario, being a noble Dragoon, came to the ring alone to defend his honor and once again strike down a Dragon Warrior main character. Sofia, being incredibly pissed off at Dario and the general luck of the universe, brought along Luc, Alena, Solo, and Cecil, all of whom felt robbed by Dario. While the saveage beating they applied was illegal, cruel, and funny, it was also wrong. Small consolation to Dario, who's going to be lucky if he manages to even show up to his next fight.
*A day before the match.*
"Aaaaah." Yuri said, relaxing in a easy chair. "This is the life. Relaxing before a match, a drink in one hand, beautiful women all around, and no obnoxious drunken idiots. Turning the Yggdrasil IV into the world's largest bar was a great idea, Setzer."
"Well, I've always had an eye for good investments, and this thing certainly wasn't usable, or even mobile, after what Edge did to it." Setzer said in a nearby chair, shrugging. "By the way, how did Edge manage to pay that 172.4 billion Gil tab they sued him for?"
"You know, I never asked him." Yuri said, shrugging. "Knowing him, he probably charged it to credit cards and went to steal some junk. Thinking on it, I missed him for a week there, and when he came back, he looked like hell. Of course, he could have just not gotten away from Piastol fast enough."
"So, there you are!" A strident voice said. "I have a proposition for you."
"Oh, god, look, I don't work with random perverts that just talk me up, okay?" Yuri said, turning around.
"Pervert? Me?" Kuja said. "Well, you wear women's clothes." "That was just for the three weeks I was a woman. And a couple days afterwards. What I wear now is perfectly suitable for my grand station in life." Kuja said arrogantly. "At any rate, this foolish creature you're fighting has once humiliated me greatly."
"...Oh, you mean that match where he took of his helmet and you fainted. Then people threw rotten tomatos at you while you were out." Yuri said, nodding. "Yeah, that was fun."
"Hmph. Anyways, I have had a device devised. All you have to is plug it into Berle, and my revenge will be complete." Kuja said.
"So, just...wait, plug...look, I'm not into reaching around and plugging that thing into kinky places." Yuri said. "No, no, it plugs into his sword, you fool. It has an add-on slot." "...Why?" Yuri said. "Why the hell would you make an add on slot for a sword?" "Because Berle was once looking into modifying his sword into a ultimate variable weapon. Then Cyril mocked him about turning his sword into a giant swiss army knife. He still mocks him about it, actually, even though Berle cut his face off and kicked him into the Einherjar ladies dormatories once for it." "Ah. So, just find the slot, plug this stupid box into it, and you're happy, and I get...?" Yuri said, prompting.
"The satisfaction of helping out one better than you." Kuja said.
Yuri punched Kuja in the face.
"Try again?" Yuri said pleasantly.
"My...my...nose...alright, you brute, that box can also be modified in a way that would allow you a win. Does that satisfy you?" "No, not really, I'd win anyways." "Fine. I'll pay you." "Now we're getting somewhere."
*Six hours later.*
"Hmmmm, add-on plugin, very high technology, ripped off from Tetragene Kaliedoscope technology blatently and poorly made." Lexis said, examining the box. "I could use this for parts."
"Hey, hey, hey! No, I need this to get the cash out of Kuja." Yuri said. "I haven't been successful enough here to be really rich yet, and cash helps keep up my lifestyle of not having to work for a living. Besides, Edge costs a lot as friends go." Yuri said, sighing. "Just modify that thing somehow so that it could kill whoever was wielding whatever it was plugged into."
"Kill?" Lexis said. "This thing? Well, I guess I could...hmmm. Just go the cheapest route? You don't really care what it does?"
"Why the hell should I?" Yuri said, shrugging. "Just make it bring down the robot, so I don't get bashed around. It's going to be hard enough as it is to plug that box in."
"Okay." Lexis said, shrugging.
*Eighteen hours later.*
"Where is that idiot?" Berle said. "I don't want to be kept waiting long."
"And you're sure it'll work, Lexis?" Edge said. "Well, yes, but...um, run after you plug it in." Lexis said, warningly. "You don't want to be near that thing when it goes off." "Okay, fine." Edge said.
"Hmph. Took you long enough. Well, let's have this over with." Berle said, concentrating. "Now to cut you to pieces. Metaguard!" He cried, as a blue barrier surrounded him.
"Not even a greeting or a hello? Man, you lack style." Yuri said, shrugging. Standing his ground, he watched Berle closely, as he rushed forward to smash Yuri with a Metacancelling.
And, as Berle's blade exited the barrier around him, Yuri dodged, and plugged the box into a small slot up near the hilt.
"Hah, first try!" Yuri said, dashing back.
"Hmm? What is..." Berle said, puzzled, staring down at the box.
"AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I am the worst fighter in the world, a pansy boy, and Kuja is far my superior!" Echoed from the box. In "Berle's" voice, which was obviously Kuja disguising his voice to try to sound like Berle.
Perhaps echoed is a very bad word for this.
Boomed would be an understatement, in fact.
As the massive sonic shockwave eminated from the box, the ground shook, the ceiling collapsed(Thankfully, no one important was in the arena above. Luke fell somewhere into the stands. Evidently no one had bothered hauling him off the field after he lost his earlier match.), the arena walls collapsed in places, Yuri was himself knocked flat on the ground...
...and Berle practically dissolved into a fine mist.
"...that...that...that was his...revenge?" A dazed Yuri said, as Berle's sword clanked to the ground.
"Well, no, just the words were." Lexis said, taking out a pair of earplugs. "But you said the cheapest way, and all the thing was was a tape, so the cheapest way to make it kill someone is amplifiers. Right?"
"...that's it, I'm asking you about everything from now on in." Yuri said, still shaking his head to clear it. "Now, WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Yuri called out to Lexis in what he thought was a normal tone of voice.
"And here's the price, as we agreed on, plus a bonus." Kuja said, smiling. "I am well satisified with your work this day. Even if you did pick an oddly out of the way place to make a transaction." He added, scowling at the forest around him.
"Um...yeah. And it only took a few hours for my ears to stop ringing." Yuri said. "Still have the headache, though."
"Well, now, I think we're done?" Kuja said, walking towards the door.
"Just one thing." Yuri said.
"Hmmm?" Kuja said, puzzled.
Yuri tossed Kuja a blanket-wrapped parcel. "Here, a souvineir."
"Hmmm?" Kuja said, unwrapping the parcel, oblivious to Yuri's rapid flight.
"Oh, it's that swo-"
"AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I am the worst fighter in the world, a pansy boy, and Kuja is far my superior!"
"And that's what you deserve for making me waste my damned time with something so pathetic. Even for money, I have my limits." Yuri said, with a broad grin on his face, as the trees splintered behind him.
Sabin flexes muscles, Menardi convinces Sabin to help her light the lighthouses, Sabin escorts her off the field like a refined gentleman - then laughs his ass off as Menardi steps off the platform first.
Then Menardi blasted Sabin into the wall with a few choice spells. Still. Win's a win, no?
It was a fierce competition. The two warrior ladies panted heavily, sweat dripping from her pores, visible all over their bodies. The arena was a mess. The drip of the Creamonade, all fresh out of... water?
... well, it wasn't exactly a bloody battle. Y'see, the match between Cameela and Meru was changed to a wet T-shirt contest, since most people just wouldn't care to see the fight otherwise. The two warriors eagerly agreed - Meru was a bonafide attention whore (and had some rumours to answer about her real gender), after all, and Cameela wasn't any different. Darned Shining Force 2 plot, forcing all its characters to not show their character traits. But then, it probably spared the DL of a mouthful of bad slashfic. God knows nobody wanted to see Jaro/Peter WAFFs, anyway.
But alas, the match came to an end when, for the final showdown, Meru and Cameela had to do a Cosmic Make-up Soaking Wet Dance. Meru thought she had it in the bag. Cameela couldn't even transform well with the pathetic effect prowess of Shining Force (for all that she did the "Cosmic Make-up" trick in a bridge trap once. Those things usually don't end well), but Meru had a very long and flashy transform animation! And it involved a lot of water, even. She would definitely win.
... except the Wingly didn't realize how much her new attire made her look vaguely like a... well... let's say all the male perverts ran away in disgust when Meru finished her transformation scene. Meru trailed off from the arena in tears, which gave Cameela the win by proxy.
Two days later, Meru joined King Galam's Sexy Crossdressing Circus, and seems to enjoy her new job. Cameela, however, still hasn't gone up a single position in the DL's Top 1,000,000 Hot Middle-Aged Demon Women (which probably makes sense. She isn't even -in- the rankings. Or any other popularity rankings, to be absolutely frank), despite all the fanservice. No amount of exposition can make the Shining Force cast that particularly appealing, it seems.
In an alley somewhere in the DL:
A man in a green poncho was staring incredulously at his employer. "So you want me to throw my match!? Pshhh. I got two words for ya. Hell. No." The cloaked customer was perturbed at his statement. "No! No! No! You don't get it! I don't want you to lose, I just want you to win in a different way..." The hooded client made a little huffing sound, and continued. "I'm offering you a good deal of money, and I paid your 'guild' to put a lot of merits on this, so please listen to what I have to say." Elc, never one to turn down easy money, obliged her.
"All right. You got a deal. Don't worry, you just bought the best there is."
During the DL Heavy eliminations round:
Selan couldn't understand. This fight had dragged on for far too long. Her opponent was looking ragged and worn out. His clothes were blood soaked and torn from her blade slashes, but he still hadn't attacked Selan beyond using that odd parasitic attack. Selan had lost count of the number of times he had flared red with Charge. She knew, without a doubt, that he could have finished this match some time ago, but he hadn't. He had just used the same skill over and over again. Her thought was interrupted, however, when he spoke a phrase she hadn't heard from him. "STRIKE POWER!" He yelled, his muscles growing somewhat larger from the spell. Selan suddenly had a feeling of utter dread, so she ran at the Hunter to finish the match, blade leveled for a killing blow. At the last moment she slipped and had her blade deflected, however. Elc then spoke the last words Selan would hear before the DL medic crew restored her body: "Sorry, I got a job to do. And today, you're it." He unleashed his supremely buffed physical chain on her, which might as well have been G. Drgn for the effect. The match was over, and Selan was nowhere to be seen. Her body had disintegrated from the sheer massiveness of the attack. Near the front of the arena, Elc could make out the face of a horrified Maxim staring wide eyed at the spot where his wife had been. Elc just let out a deep breath and wiped his forehead of sweat, his tedious job complete.
After the matches:
Elc lifted his two newly won purses. One from winning his match, the other from his client. Smiling satisfied, he pocketed the money and walked towards the DL Godlike bar so he could rub his victory in Arc's face. On the way there, though, he came upon an interesting sight. His client was walking with his opponents husband, and was even holding on to the depressed man's arm. Elc blinked a few times before shrugging and moved on. He echoed his thoughts in single spoken word. "Women!"
Tia glanced towards where she had heard the comment, and just smiled. While it had cost her a week's earnings, and the results would only be temporary, she still had Maxim all to herself for at least a little while...
Lyn's a very good fighter, especially with Sol Katti. Jowy is a good fighter with very good magic skills and a half of a True Rune. I have to go with Jowy for the win.
"Young lady, you best surrender. You do not comprehend the power that you are about to face"
Agrias said nothing as she drew her sword from its sheath and positioned herself.
Nergal cackled and smirked, "You still wish to challenge me? Fine. Let me give you a taste of my power". And with that, the Dark Druid began chanting his powerful spell. But just as he was harnessing the energy to unleash it, he felt a surge of pain overwhelm him.
"Heaven's wish to destroy all minds! Holy Explosion!"
The Dark Druid could feel the searing light tear through his flesh. However, he did not falter. "How foolish of you to think I would be beaten by such a feeble attack". In return, he unleashed his Ershkigal spell towards the Holy Knight. This would be it. Once the spell ended, the match would be his. His glee turned to shock as Agrias darted right out of its range.
"Curse you, Holy Knight!", Nergal shouted as he attempted to give chase. But it was no good. He just couldn't move all that quickly thanks to his robes. And while Agrias was wearing armor, she certainly wasn't tripping over herself. Nergal continued to give chase and ran towards her even as she turned around.
The Holy Knight gave him a smile as she noted the distance between them, "I comprehend your attacks far too well, Dark Druid".
And with that, she raised her sword one more time and struck downward as the light tore through him once more, reducing his body to a crumpled heap.
Agrias took her sword and placed it back in its scabbard, "And for that, you were far too predictable".
Agrias Oaks: 84
In a battle of two female contenders, oddly enough, the deciding factor here is none other than Pokemon Logic.
Lilly is a Fire type. She has a hot tempered personality, has good physical attacks like most Fire types, and even has the Sword of Rage rune to boost this fact up.
Camellia is a Grass type. She's, well, a plant tribe of Deimos, and such. A Grass type that uses Ground type moves to boot, meaning no STAB.
So both are hitting each other's weaknesses...except Lilly's attacks are physical, and most Grass' aren't fond of that, and she's getting a STAB. Camellia can't say the same thing in return.
Charmles chortled with glee. "This opponent of yours has a va -voom- wife, and no protection against your Soul Blade status attacks. It's a perfect chance to spread our message.
Sten sat quietly in the backround. "We owe so many people. Max's Shining Force, Edge, Sephiroth. Our change for vengence is at hand, and who better than our leader to spread our message?"
"..You know what? I'm out. Sorry, but I have more relavant things to attend to than watching you all get me killed. Again." Cray walked out without another word.
.."On that note! We have a new member. Welcome Irvine Kinneas to the group!" Zidane smiled, and brought out the gunner. "Thanks for the warm welcome, boys. I've been watching your glorious struggle from afar. It's time for me to throw my hat into the ring. I'm a great planner and as reliable a sniper as it gets." Irvine quickly sat down with the rest, as Zidane cleared his voice.
"Okay. It's time to head out to ring. Sten and Valygar, provide security! Charmles, head up to the seats and bribe us into the front row. Irvine and Zeon, stay here and plan our next move. For now.. it's time for my appearance!"
Zidane kicked Pent's frozen corpse to the ground. "Loser." It was a quick fight, just as everyone predicted. The master Sage had no defense against Soul Blade. He struttled over to Louise, who was standing over Pent's fallen body. "Hey, baby. Forget about that loser. He's old news, and I'll be middle champ soon."
Zidane just scratched his head when Louise ignored him, trying to tend to Pent. Shrugging, he just walked off, chatting with Charmles and the rest about his plan for next week.
"..Pent.." A gentle tapping on her shoulder stopped her sobbing. "Hey. I've brought a healer for Pent. It's no problem at all. Could you just give Pent this note afterwards? " With a tearful nod, Louise got up anEdge waited for Esuna to undo the damage of Soul Blade.
Pent finished watching the clip of the fight provided by the TimeRecord spell. "..He hit on my wife after?" Pent's face was a cold mask of fury. "You need my help in putting down that idiot, eh? You've got it." Edge merely grinned, and shook Pent's hand.
"I'm afraid Yuri and Lexis are a little busy this season, so it'll be just us for the most part. I do have a plan to deal with Zidane and his band of flunkies, though.."
Nina didn't even see Ronfar the day of the duel.
You see, Ronfar had spent... a few hours too many down in the bar last night, and didn't remember much after the twentieth vodka shot or so.
Spending the night comparing... weapons with Leo isn't exactly the best way to prepare. Nina got the best of it - who wouldn't take the free win?
The DL board of judges, not wanting to see yet another boring battle between two straight-forward Lights, ordered the match to be decided via fishing contest where the one who catches the biggest fish wins.
It seemed as though Yam Koo had this match won. He was a fisherman after all, and it wasn't long before he had caught a particularly huge Black Bass.
Then Kid stabbed him in the back, tied him on a surfboard with chains, covered him in seal's fat and fish oil, and chucked him into the sea. This attracted a Great White Shark, who promptly ate a Red Pin tech after taking a large bite on the fisherman and was easily reeled in by the thief using a winch.
None of the rules said she had to use traditional fishing equipment, now did it?
Vaida versus Solt - a battle for the ages. Solt's speed and accuracy advantage versus Vaida's madly powerful lance blows and thick armor. The match went on, neither willing to give up. Finally, there was a decisive blow. The victor had been determined.
As Vaida stood over the broken body of the man who dared stand in her way, all in attendance knew the truth of her victory. Not due to her great strength, her unbreakable armor, or even the fact that Solt just plain sucks.
The factor that had defeated Solt... was Sexy, Vaida's ultimate weapon.
You just don't mess with THAT MUCH Sexy and live to tell the tale. Unless you're Edge.
Peppor can really shake things up. Afterall, he that's about all he says half the time!
Of course, when your opponent is a master of the Chicken Dance, they can shake things up far better.
Sorry Peppor, but if there is one thing Yumei doesn't fail at, its that exact dance.
You know, things that fly, like Birds such as Luke, tend to be immune to Earth elemental attacks, which is what Hellion thrives upon. I mean, look at all the proof!
In Final Fantasies, the Float status grants immunity to the Quake spells.
In Pokemon, the Flying types are immune to the Ground attacks
Breath of Fire games, flying enemies take reduced damage from Earth attacks, if not outright null it.
Even in Suikoden games, Hellion's home series, fliers are able to totally null out the mighty Earthquake.
...one wonders how bad you have to be to lose to a Suikoden Earth Mage when the above logic is completely on your side.