Dark Holy Elf
Ghaleon and Necrosaro are very alike. Both are often argued as sympathetic villains. Both are final bosses. Both are noted for doublecasting. Both have strong elemental attacks and underrated physical games.
The difference? Despite being an effeminate elf-man, Ghaleon can take more punishment than Zidane caught spying in the Godlike women's locker rooms. The man eats Doubled Vigoured Swords Dances for breakfast, and that's before Chaos Shield. Necrosaro, with his paltry 1000 HP in his one really competent form, just can't compete. Only a few can outlast the Magic Emperor, and sadly, Necrosaro isn't the man to do it.
Dark Holy Elf
Remember what happened the last time someone set a woman with a scythe loose in Godlike? Dark Force, the very god that Zio takes his orders from, certainly does. This week's match was about as close as you'd expect, given that.
Now, the only remaining question is: Remember what happened last time a woman with a scythe faced Ghaleon? Ghaleon does... though perhaps he'd rather not. Can Royce live out the cliched dream of every evil henchman since the dawn of time and surpass her master? She'll get her chance...
"Youíre the first victim of my return to Godlike?" Zeal... laughed. There was simply no other word for it. A giggle is too bubbly, and a cackle, while perhaps workable, gives one images of hunched over old lady's selling apples. This was simply a laugh of pure unbridled insanity and confidence, generally reserved for the completely loony. "You? A mere mage?" She continued while energy coalesced around her now floating body, and the transparent image of a large, feminine mask surrounded her.
"Foolish child" the evil queen finished, the floating head and hands serving as her body bearing down on the diminutive Cecilia. "Iíve slaughtered people lesser than you." her voice boomed, seemingly coming from all directions. "Now, you shall face the full power of the Queen of Zeal!"
The bell rang, and immediately, two watery, blue triangles formed in front of Zeal, merging to form a hexagram. With a cackle, she sent the Hexagon Mist spinning around the ring, striking the Innocent One across the torso while in mid-chant, sending her flying up into the air.
"Quick!" the princess screamed through the pain, and a pair of Frey sigils spun around her, as the Crest Graph she held in her hand glowed. Suddenly, the entire world slowed down, and she positioned herself carefully to crash into the ground in a prone position. After a quick roll, she was already on her feet and on the run, casting another spell much to the amusement of Zeal.
"There's more where that came from, child." The mad queen chuckled, her voice making the very foundations of the ring shake as she sent another Hexagon Mist flying towards the Cecilia. This time, she attempted to block it with the Dist Dims, but the projectile flowed around the staff and struck her across the chest, sending her skidding and tumbling backwards. When she stood up, her body was covered in scratches and bruises, and she was coughing out blood due to a collapsed rib cage. Zeal released a long, full-blown, maniacal laugh that reverberated across the entire arena, the sweetness of victory already within her grasp.
Yet despite her pain, Cecilia smiled. She had taken a risk not healing immediately, but thankfully, her body was strong enough to weather two blows. Through much effort, she coughed out the last words for Hi-Heal, and a pair of Muse sigils appeared and flew into her body, mending broken bones, replenishing lost blood, and sealing torn flesh.
"Ah yes, I forgot about your ability to heal." The ancient queen muttered to herself while one of her floating hands stroked her chin in mock contemplation. "Youíre only delaying the inevitable, dearie." She added as she launched another aquatic hexagram.
This time she flung herself backwards as the attack hit after making sure that she was nowhere near the edge of the ring. She finished another Quick spell as she rolled with the blow, and when she was back on her feet, she was running like the wind. The rest of the world now appeared as though it was moving through water, and by the time she finished her next chant, she saw Zeal only starting to collect the water vapor for another Hexagon Mist.
"Shield!" she shouted to the surprise of Zeal, and a pair of sigils for Geo flew towards her body, turning into a thin barrier of light that covered her skin upon contact. When the hexagram struck, the barrier flashed outwards, dulling what would have been a crippling blow.
If a floating mask could squint in anger, it would have been doing so now as the Filgaian mage finished casting two Quick spells and a Hi-Heal before she could release her sixth Hexagon Mist. Just what is that stupid girl planning?
And so the battle went on like that for what seemed hours, but in reality, only took minutes. Zeal would release a Hexagon Mist, and Cecilia would counter with a string of Quicks, Shields, and the occasional Hi-Heal. The arena was filled with magical energy as the princess dashed hither and thither around the queen. The battle was flashy! It was intense! It was...
...completely and utterly boring as the crowd booed the apparent stalemate. Cups of soda and crumpled up fliers where thrown at the arena as the crowd expressed their distaste, which only served to further annoy the already irritated queen.
"Curse you, you wench!" She screamed with enough strength to cause a slight tremor in the arena and threatening to break more than a few eardrums. "Stop casting those useless spells and attack me! I know you have some black magic in there, you irritating little strumpet, so why wonít you attack me! Attack me, curse you! Attack me, you-"
The beam of light smacked Zealís mask right at the mouth, shutting her up. Cecilia followed it up with another Saint spell, and another, bombarding the mad queen with rays of holy energy as the sigils of Geo and Muse whirled around her left arm in a blur. The audience, noticing that their ears have stopped complaining, started to cheer the sudden increase in action.
As countless beams of light rained upon her head, the mad queen chuckled to herself. Yes, you little trollop... enjoy your little power trip. Soon, all those buffs you did will be for naught.
In the midst of her casting spree, yellow speckles of light began appearing around Cecilia. It was nearly invisible at first, but it soon took the form of a thin wall of light that surrounded her.
This must be the MP Buster, she thought as she watched the thing not so much spread but flow around her. Looks like itís time to change tactics.
She fired off one last Saint before starting another chant, and a cry of "Hyper!" filled the air just as the MP Buster finished forming. She felt the uneasy feeling of her magical reserves disappear. It was like the heavy feeling your heart experiences when someone appears at the door with the news of your favorite goldfish going belly up one morning. There isn't a feeling of sadness or despair as much as a temporary feeling of emptiness within.
And at the same time, she felt her adrenaline rush as the sigils for Frey and Geo whirled around her in a way similar to the sigils of Quick. Her muscles tightened and her sensations became sharper. Small particles invisible to the naked eye were now easily seen, distinct sounds she couldn't pick up before she could listen to now with clarity, and it felt as though she could feel past her skin. She had vomited from the overload to her senses the first time she tested the spell and immediately dispelled the enchantment. But, after realizing that there are times in the DL when she must use her physicals, and seeing Jack take to the buff like a duck to water after a few days of tossing his cookies, she had practiced hard to master the it, and now, with Hyper, she was as skilled with a staff as Jack was with a sword.
She dashed forward, and in what seemed like a split second to those watching, she was in front of the monstrous form of Zeal. Her staff bounced repeatedly against the demonic mask, living metal gleaned from the Golem Barbados clanging on the magical material created by the Mammon Machine. She leapt around furiously, striking weak points where there appeared none, predicting where the queen would be when she tried to evade based on the shift of the wind.
"Trollop!" Zeal screamed as she watched the little pest zip around her. "You dare mock me with the ordinary attacks of a mage!?" Gathering the powers she had stored from her opponents attacks, she unleashed the energy in an overwhelming torrent. "Die in misery!"
Cecilia had not expected Hallation to be so quick, and was struck by the expanding rings while in mid-air. Immediately, her bones felt weak and her muscles slackened. It felt as though her blood had completely liquefied, and her head felt nauseous, the contents of her stomach threatening to come out. Fatigue settled all over her body, and her skin felt like another layer of clothes. All these struck her like a truck, and when she landed on the ground, it was in a heap.
"Such a pity." Zeal mocked as she floated above the body of the princess. "All that preparation turned out to be a waste." She chuckled as one of her hands floated in front of her, a blinding light shining at the tip of its finger. "It's a shame that your dear Raftina will hit my hands too, isn't it? Otherwise you wouldnít die so miserably." She snickered.
"And now, it ends."
No, it doesnít, Cecilia thought to herself as she forced her arm to reach into her backpack and pull out something. "Mys... tic..." she gasped out with all her strength.
"DIE!" Zeal screamed while firing her Hand Laser, just as a magic circle formed around Cecilia. Before the beam could reach the corpse-like figure of the mage, the circle exploded upwards in a cylinder of white light that was surprisingly gentle to the eyes despite its intensity. When it finally dissipated, Cecilia stood with all the effects of Hallation gone, the Dist Dims in one hand and a pretty dress in another.
"I can unleash the hidden powers of my equipment with Mystic, Zeal." The Innocent One said to her opponent as she returned the Pret-a-Porte in her backpack. "Iím more than just spells and Summons."
She heard the now familiar sounds of water merging, and looked up just in time to see another Hexagon Mist flying towards her. She watched impassively as the hexagram neared, only to disperse harmlessly on her stacked Shield enchantments. Now, it was her turn to smile.
"All the magical power in your world and you don't even have a simple Dispel. And youíve already used your one stored spell of Hallation too." Cecilia remarked, her expression cheerful, confident, and maybe a little cocky too. "Youíve lost, Zeal. Now, you can either give up, or I can continue thumping you to submission." She added, while threateningly tapping her staff on her dainty little palm.
Zeal twitched in anger, or at least tried to, what with her current lack of facial muscles to twitch with. The madly raving voice that she usually listened to shrieked at her. She shouldn't let the little broad insult her like that! She should be tossing spells and pseudo spells around, using everything in her power to tear the little pony princess to pieces!
Then the sane, usually silent part of her brain spoke up, and asked her a simple question. 'Do you really want to get killed by a mage's physical in front of everybody?'
To the surprise of all watching, Zeal reverted back to human form and raised her hand, begrudgingly announcing to the judges that she concedes. And the applause began for the match hard fought, mixed with the usual grumblings of gamblers that had picked the wrong horse to back, and the jeers and heckles of those not too fond of her.
The battle had ended. Cecilia had finally won her first Godlike match.
Zeal, Queen: 32
*Cue splash image: Heroic Chef Sofia vs Demonic Cook Myria!*
Welcome, one and all! Welcome to the one place that is suitable and proper for women to battle it out; the kitchen! Forget ugly swords and manly magics, these fragile beauties deserves to be barefoot and cooking Solo and Fou Lu dinner! Now, we'll...OHGODARGHTHEPAIN!
*Cue image of annoucer being carted off on a stretcher, above a large TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES*
Anyway, at some point Myria went ahead and won the match. It was rather moot, as I think we can all agree that the above was more interesting than a Venom/Holocaust/Bolt X beatdown.
"Phantasy Star Vixen blown to pieces by Millenia's Bazooka!"
-Richmond, RPGDL times
Mieu was the classic model of a heavy fighter. Weapons and armor burnished, she fought for the pride of a game, and series. Her skillset and her vaunted Forsa were at hand, ready to be used as soon as the Wings of Valmar closed in.
Millenia, meanwhile, was dressed in her usual skimpy outfit, and only held one weapon in hand.
It was a horrific slaughter. Millenia stroked the trigger once, and Mieu's defenses were piereced, the proud warrior's equipment turned into nothing but useless toys.
"I call it the Bazooka of Valmar. Even ancient beings of evil have to keep up with the times, you know." Miss Millenia's quotes are sure to stick in the mind of anyone who runs across her this season...
In a reversed vein of Kent and Hrist, Ursula and Kratos features a divine being beating the hell out of a seasoned human(ish) warrior. Sadly for Ursula, Kratos is no pushover. Unlike the other winged being this week, he can fight without being a total scrub. IN fact, some daresay his power shown when he battles Lloyd is close to the power of Mithos...
In short? Kratos for Godlike!!!!!!! Ahem. <_<
Edea smiled as she dressed for her match. She hated to harm young men, and this one looked to have so much potential. " I..I could use another Knight.."
The red haired warrior was clearly surprised by the woman facing him. Instead of a stern faced older woman, a woman of no apperent age stood in front of him, with long black hair.. almost purple, in fact. She wore a simple dress, and a smile was etched on her face. "It's you! I've been looking all over for you. You said you'd be here to protect me!"
"Lufia..? How can that be you in Heavy?" He dropped his guard for a second, and looked into the eyes of the woman. He saw.. .nothing, and everything at once. In a second, the young man had fallen under Edea's hypnotic spell.
"Mistress...yes...I serve the sorceress..Lufia.."
Edea chuckled, and led the young man out of the arena. It was so hard to find good body guards these days. She'd need the help in dealing with.. ah... preperations for her next match.
Edea Kramer: 38
Tidus, while a brilliant dueller against fighters, often finds himself lacking against mages.
Not so in this case, as Quick Hit is more than enough to shred the pathetic esper before Wind can so much as ruffle Tidus's feathers.
French Onion Soup
2 T oil
3 T butter
6 C onions, thinly sliced
Ĺ t sugar
2 Ĺ qts beef broth
Ĺ C dry white wine
salt and pepper to taste
2 C grated Gruyere cheese
Prepare onion. Recommended method: Crush lightly, then Compress with sharpened blades repeatedly until onion is thinly sliced. Dispose damaged portions of onion.
Heat oil in heavy 5-6 qt. pan. Add butter. When butter has melted, add onions and cook slowly, covered for 10 minutes. Add the sugar and salt. Cook onions slowly until onions caramelize and turn to a rich brown color. This will take 45-60 minutes.
Add wine and cook 5 minutes over low heat. Add stock and check for seasoning. Simmer uncovered for 30 minutes.
It was one of the most unorthodox matches seen in the arena in quite some time, but the judges agreed: Worker 8 was an excellent chef.
Worker 8: 58
An angel decended from Heaven, to smite down the wicked Rashidi.
A gravedigging masked wrestler who joined Serge's team for...some obscure reason.
At first glance, these two would have no common ground.
After an in depth look, they still don't have any common ground.
Unfortunatly, they tried to make some.
This leads to the current scene, of Yushis tangled in the cables on one end of the wrestling ring while Greco comes at her with a chair.
Why would the judges allow this?
They were too busy arguing over the shiny quarter they found on the ground in the judges box. Mostly because it was shiny.
And so, Greco went on to the next round, Yushis started a serious course of powerbuilding on her quest to become The Avenging Angel, master of the ring(She's already made many fans, though it seems mostly because of the scanty outfit.), and Bolgan, Kongol, Umaro and Bartre were banned from being judges ever again.
How did those four manage to be judges all at the same time, you ask?
A wizard did it.
No one's tracked it back to Rashidi yet, though.
"Look at them all, buying all the tickets up just so they can plot. God, don't they give up?" Edge said, watching the massive line of people, monkies, unicorn, Dragoons, Dezolisian, and Menodix at the ticket box for Raine and White Rose's match.
"Heh, like you give up, Edge?" Yuri said, watching.
"I also don't get flattened every time I try anything, unlike them." Edge said, nodding his head towards Zidane as he walked past.
"Hey! Just because you're lucky, doesn't mean you're that much better at planning than I am." Zidane said, offended.
"A rock is a better leader than you are." Edge and Yuri said simultaniously. Then they glanced at each other and burst into laughter.
"You..." Zidane growled, reaching for his knife. Right before he was shoved aside by a red-headed man.
"You know, you're right. He is as dumb and masterful as a rock-." "Hey!" "-But he's useful. I'll need all the manpower I can get for this plan, and it'll be a beauty. I've always wanted to see that belle out there...well, never mind." The man said, ignoring the still-protesting Zidane entirely. "Why don't you two help? You've built up quite a legend around here, you might be useful."
"Might? Who the hell are you, anyhow?" Edge said, glaring at the man.
"Master Swordsman and Master Lover, Zelos Wilder, at your service." Zelos said, bowing.
"...Who?" Yuri said, crossing his arms.
"Oh, wait, I've heard of him. He's one of those new guys. Was in a talk show or something." "It was a-" Zelos tried to cut in.
"Look, I don't actually care. If you think you can just walk in and pull off some grand scheme here, you're mistaken. If nothing else, all the women here are on guard against it. You really need to be original to pull anything off, and I doubt you have enough upstairs to do that."
"Hmm. Well, we'll see. Maybe my own legend will surpass yours. Maybe soon." Zelos said, wandering back to get a ticket.
"You're going to show him up, aren't you." Yuri observed.
"Of course. Now, to figure out who I need to show something shiny to in this group to get them to tell me his plan..."
*Seven days later.*
"And now, let the battle begin!" The announcer called out.
It was a battle of holy magic, of healing and weak light blasts.
It was also boring.
However, a much darker chain of events was going on elsewhere...
"So, do you have the potion?" Zelos said anxiously, watching the fight from his vantage point near the ground-level arena entrance.
"Yeah, yeah." Zidane grumbled. "Lexis made me pay upfront for it, too."
"Hmm, I could wonder why." Yuri mused, listening to the microphone in his ear. "So, why are we up here anyhow, and how do you plan on making it look like you're not interfering from the middle of the stands?"
Edge shrugged. "Smoke and mirrors."
"If you don't give me a real answer pretty fast, Edge, instead of that damned line for the hundredth time, I'm going to see how well you handle being shaped into a pretzel."
"I'm telling you the plan. Look, just watch." Edge said, shrugging.
"Hmhmhm. This will be perfect. A love potion that vaporizes instantly on contact to air, and is odorless and invisible. That Lexis is a genious." Zelos said, hefting the bottle. "Now, all I have to do is toss it in..."
"Now, watch." Edge said, lobbing a small bomb into the arena.
As other Edges did, as well.
In different disguises. One with a long tail, one covered in red fur...
"How the hell did you do that?" Yuri said, watching one smoke bomb go off where a dozen fell. "You learn to improve your techniques, after a while. Images are more useful when they look like other people." Edge said, grinning." "They'll never know where that bomb came from. Now, watch."
Zelos, hacking and sneezing along with a dozen other helpers, realized that if he didn't act now, he would lose his chance.
"Achoo! Ugh, time to get out of here. But not before I at least get something to look at on the news later." Zelos said, as he threw the bottle of potion towards the opening to the arena he couldn't see...
"...you...just closed them inbetween two doors?" Yuri said, impressed as Edge pressed a button.
"Yep. With a shattered bottle of aerosol love potion." "Isn't Seigfried in there?" "And?" "Nothing at all." Yuri said, pulling the microphone out of his ear. "I don't especially want to hear that. Still, this has been kind of boring." Yuri said, stretching. "You showed him up, but no one else will kn-"
Yuri cutoff abruptly, as a massive gush of whipped cream smashed into the arena in front of him, knocking both of the coughing combatants into one side of the arena.
"...Oh, didn't I mention that? Sheena's over at the Creamonade." Edge said, chuckling, as he looked down at the aftermath of the blast of high-powered dairy goodness.
"...Damn, he's a good shot." Yuri observed, looking down at the unconcious White Rose and the incredibly red-faced Raine Sage staring down at White Rose's cream-covered body underneath hers. And then staring up at the massive amount of flashbulbs going off from the crowd's cameras.
"Well, he could have been better and had White Rose win. She's more...interesting." Edge noted. "Ah, well, you can't have everything."
Raine Sage: 29
Eiko is one of the most useful characters in FF IX, able to heal effectively, cast the all-powerful Holy, throw all kinds of status spells around, and outlast just about any opponent with her healing game. Also, when she enters a Trance, she can cast two magic spells at once, making her even more dangerous!
...all of which means diddly-squat once Lo Wen hits her with Silent Lake. Eiko can't win this match without her white magic... oh, but wait! She still has her summoni -- er... no, Silent Lake disables that too. What does that leave her with then? A staff shaped like a tiger's paw and unimpressive defenses? Eiko's only chance would be to cast Berserk on herself before Lo Wen can hit her with Silent Lake and then just whack her opponent to death. Then again, with her ho-hum speed, it's doubtful she'll be able to act before Lo Wen....
Aw, screw it. I can't think of any logical scenarios where Eiko doesn't lose. You win, Suiko-scrub.
Eiko Carol: 31
"But...what is EVIL GAIA's weight? I can't do the correct stoichiometrical calculations for this ketamine dart without it..."
Hugh sat over his desk, puzzling over this question. After all, being a biologist, he couldn't just give too much tranquilizer to his target for fear of killing it. Granted, with the size of his foe...
"Well, then let's assume he's about as large as an elephant...wait, male or female elephant? Male, I'll assume. So...six-thousand kilograms multiplied by two-point-two for pounds...then multiplied by 1 milligram for each pound, we need...Thirteen-Thousand-Two-Hundred milligrams?! Ok, I suppose I'd better start on those dilutions..."
And so, as the Heavy matches were finished, many spectators began leaving the stands, as they all knew Light was coming up next. So when Hugh and his opponent entered for their match, the tumbleweeds blowing across the arena weren't too much of a surprise.
And so, to a complete lack of fanfare, the battle was called to start. Hugh, fumbling around in his backpack, pulled out his ketamine dart, and placed it in his modified Silent Shot. He took aim, and fired for what he believed was EVIL GAIA's head. The dart connected, and Hugh cheered a little inside, as nearly immediately, he saw the massive...thing...slowing down in its charge forward. Hugh turned around, and raised his hands in elation to what remained of the crowd. The small number of cheers, however, soon gave way to cries of horror. Hugh turned around, and watched as the mass of EVIL GAIA proceeded to fall on top of him, crushing every bone and organ in his body, due to the huge mass that just struck him.
Also unfortunately for Hugh, he was cited for using such large doses of special K on an endangered species without proper authority. Granted, the lawsuit was dropped on account of him being unable to actually see, read, or sign anything for several months.
One good thing did come out of this, though: we now know that EVIL GAIA is apparently biologically equivalent to an elephant.
Hugh Thompson: 14
Hate Hate Hate
Dark Holy Elf
Alfred Schroedinger is awesome.
Don't ask why. He just IS. Maybe it's the pyromania. Maybe it's the panda backpack. Maybe it's being part of that family, a family that features a young woman with more firearms than some small countries, an afro-sporting swordsman, and the flying, talking, living pun that is the embodiment of Schroedinger's cat.
Or maybe it's the fact that he's the hardest fight in the game (oh, sure; Todd, Shady, and especially Maya all have something to do with that, too. Quiet) despite being a borderline Puny. Basically, if he displayed any more battle prowess than he already does, his game would probably be unbeatable. Or at least hard. And Wild ARMs games are not allowed to be hard.
Clearly, then, Alfred is holding back to keep us from the terror of a challenging Wild ARMs game, the existence of which could cause the universe to implode. It's the only logical explanation. I mean, he has plot power! Brains, and expert control of explosives!
Anyway, long story short, Alfred takes a page from the book of Liz, and just makes a bomb so big it does massive damage to everyone present. Sure, he gets hurt pretty bad, but since "big explosion" is somewhat higher on the damage scale than "stiff breeze", and the latter has been known to KO a shieldless Raja, he still comes away from the match the victor. And thus, awesomeness prevails.
Dark Holy Elf
Ah, Kent. Reasonably fast, reasonably strong, absorbs punishment nicely, master of the weapon triangle, and counterattacks. It's a nice mix; in fact you have to wonder why the guy's in Light at all.
This doesn't change the fact that Kent wins this week by not being Hrist. Oh well, maybe Kent will draw someone worthy of his Middle-calibre powers next round.
This match is almost too simple.
Sheena is a sexy ninja. Mallow is a cloud.
People involved with sexy ninjas are often said to have their head in the clouds. Clouds are fairly weakened by people sticking their heads in them.
So, Sheena agrees to take one lucky DL guy (it doesn't really matter which one, so we'll say Edge, because it'll lead to the funniest results in the future), and metaphorical inevitability takes its course from there.
How Sheena plans to get out of the date, though, is were the real story lies... but that's a tale for another day.
Sheena Fujibayashi: 32