One half of Lilly's cruelly abused bodyguard team, Samus is far from a happy man. Constantly mocked and tormented, his only joy in life is hanging out with Reed. REED. If the best part of your day is having a frosty Highlander with Reed while you complain about the boss, life sure does suck.

While Samus has nothing but bad life outside the ring, he's pretty blessed in the DL. Packing a powerful Wind rune and having decent swordsmanship, he's good enough to call himself a middle without getting laughed out of the division. Hey, it's better than being Reed.