A quick point about this thread's title, sex =/= gender, the latter's norms of which you seem to be getting at in your post. *Edited at two areas
And I was wondering how everyone felt about the way women dress. Obviously some of the things that happened to her are inexscusable (getting pulled into a guy's lap), but I'm not sure that all of them are (photos without consent).
What's the point in trying to determine exactly where the woman may have been complicit? "Yeah, that's bad, that's bad... Oh, oh, look! She asked for it! Justified!" If you're not there, why try act as if you were? I don't have any feelings about the way anyone dresses, but I most certainly begin to care when people try to associate or shame specific behavior because of said dress.
Maybe I'm a male chauvinist pig, but my personal view of it is that women that dress immodestly have no right to complain about being stared at. By immodest I mean tits hanging out and/or ass cheeks exposed. Other cultures have different standards, up to the hijab in Muslim countries.
I definitely think your examples of manhood and womanhood have something to do with the way you interpret the world, but I'd never sweep it aside so quickly with that description. Women have the right to choose and say whatever they feel, and to argue that this is even a right one should have or have taken away is ridiculous. Let's not parallel religious and cultural standards with our own; if our normalized culture puts anyone at physical or psychological risk, then we need to
re-evaluate our own. A too simplistic example: it is legal to be topless as a woman in NYC and Austin. Being casually shirtless as a man is a thing neverending, but which sex & gender tend to be harassed in ways that shouldn't be acceptable? Queer and hetero women, typically by hetero men. Where do they learn that this is acceptable? At home, at school, on the streets, magazines, "but men are men, we are animals!" It's crazy that the only time conversation tries to make exceptions for humans as thinking beings comes around when men just want to molest women/men/zim. *** Edit, yes I know men ARE indeed harassed, it's even entered mainstream tv that flips the gaze in the Mindy Project/Broad City & generally wish that folks could also talk about these dynamics for cismen.
I don't think women should be touched without consent. As far as verbal harassment, I'm not sure how I feel about it - let's say halfway between my feelings on leering and touching.
No person should verbally impose their opinions or exploitation of a woman or man, because they are not your object, you do not know them, address people as you would anyone you respect. If you choose to yell disrespectfully to a woman or a man because you think them disrespectful, well that says more about you than them. So that's my opinion. Keep your stereotype: construction worker cat calling to yourself, which tends to conclude in even more violent language when a woman verbally retaliates. *** Edit: Just in case, the "you" in this paragraph is not you CaptainK, I'm speaking aloud to those who don't find that problematic.
Sexual harassment at cons is a culture that receives too many passes. Some conventions have sexual harassment hotlines, but I dare say a lot of its moderation can come from the men/women actually practicing respectful boundaries. When I attend AWA this year, I am actually developing a real-time photo tumblr of the harassers, because these hotlines are just bureaucratic slaps on the wrist.
Rant below:
----
Like, I get it: lots of nubile young gamer boys who see balloon tits are really excited to see flesh and live women cosplaying a sexualized idea of woman that the gaming community has yet to collectively say "no, this is not what we like!" And many of these young gamer boys are 30+ year old men who are, I will go there, better friends with their hands than folks in real life. Or, these are just folks riding the nerdcore popularity and are excited to see all the freaks. Or, folks who really respect boundaries and just want to go and enjoy their time. But the convention turns into this massive heteromale gaming fantasy world where they really think that it is okay to take photos under people's skirts, or say things they feel deserve no repercussions, or fondle or lure women back to their hotels, cars and corners. But what they're doing is no different than the disgusting acts men do outside of a convention space, whether it's on a bus, in middle school, in a college dorm, at a McDonald's, and I repeat: because she is in a bra does not mean touching or sharing your perverse feelings is okay.
It is not okay at all.As to the responsibility of the cosplayers? If it's their choice to dress as a shitty character known more for their vagina rays than their ATK and INT skills, then so be it. I imagine they are already well acquainted with the heteromale gaze dominating games and know that folks stare. When I put on my 6" heels and a nice form-fitting halter to go out, I hope that people recognize how good I feel to be in, and own, my own body. But when your stares are consistently connected with, let's be honest, violent physical & verbal harassment, then Houston we have a problem. This is one reason I have not cosplayed yet as Freya, because I would likely sock some of the people in their face if they ever crossed from the line of just staring.
