We're all so much more civil than most music communities.
I'mma talk about my list, since I fucking love music:
Dig!!! Lazarus, Dig!!! ~ Nick Cave is a mad genius and hopefully is what I slowly evolve into when I enter my middle-age years. There's a 5 track stretch on here, I'm gonna say We Call upon the Author through Midnight Man, that I would argue is the strongest 5 consecutive tracks on any non-collective works album ever. I will duel people with knives about this.
Tidal ~ Like Cave, Fiona is one of the greatest lyricists ever, spinning mad soul-wrenching poetry that feels 100% genuine, and genuineness is important to me with music. If I ever make money again, I am, at some point buying myself a keyboard, and, like, 30 years from now, probably a piano,
more or less because of this album.
Simple Things ~ This album completely redefined my taste in music. This is fucking brilliant chillout. This is a musical experience. I don't listen to this album anymore because my headphones are broken and only one side works and
I can no longer do it justice. This is an album so relaxing it enabled me to beat Pokemon. In college, like, over a decade after Pokemon was out, closer to 15 years, really, I put on this album and said, "I want to do something mindless and repetitive that I've never had the patience to sit still for". So I put in Pokemon Blue and played the game from start to finish over a few days and this album was on repeat for the entire journey. I regret nothing. Incidentally,
In the Waiting Line is probably the song that I feel is closest to my own soul.
Load ~ I fucking
love Metallica, and I defended these guys through some bad times. I'm not big on
St. Anger, who the fuck knows what that abortion is they released with Lou Reed is.
Death Magnetic is actually pretty decent. There are thrash fans that would hate on me for liking this album above the others, but it's absurd. Let's be real. Metallica is, from top to bottom, goth poetry. It's stuff you'd cram under your bed in high school because no one fuckin' understands, man. Usually we just don't give a shit because the actual musical half is
really fucking genius. Load is their best album lyrically.
Load is actually raw and not just rambling or cool visuals or whatever. It's still goth poetry, but this goth had real
pain, man. When I was younger, this was my favorite album, despite being the sole Metallica album (at the time, again, pre St. Anger) that had a single track I disliked. That's right.
From Kill 'em All to
RE-Load, I liked or loved every single track. Except one.
Mama Said. Now that I'm older, I have no idea what the hell was wrong with me.
Mama Said is one of the most emotional, raw, well written songs Metallica has ever released. My eyes have been opened. What I always felt was the argument that could shoot my "Favorite Metallica Album" opinion to dust is actually the keystone that holds this impenetrable arch together as one of the greatest albums ever released.
Ballbreaker ~ You know how earlier I said that genuineness is very, very important to me in music? AC/DC is fluff. Their lyrics are just party rock. Boozin' and fuckin' and being rockstars or whatever. With the meanest guitar hooks ever. But you know what? That is exactly who AC/DC is. If
Tidal gets me to learn Piano, this is the album that will get me to learn Guitar. Look, everyone loves
Back in Black, blah blah. It's a great album. This one is better. Listen to
this. Listen to this goddamn hook. This is so simple. It's uncomplicated. It's still
absolutely fucking filthy. Who does this? AC/DC is rock and roll distilled to its very essence. There has never been, and there will never be a band more emblematic with honest-to-god Rock and Roll than AC/DC. Why do AC/DC write so many songs about boozin' fuckin' and being rockstars? Because that's what Rock and Roll
is, man. You want more filth?
Try this filth. The ending of this song is orgasmic. Throw your smooth jazz, your R&B out the window.
Hard Rock and Roll is the sexiest music, and everyone knows it, and no one wants to admit it. You know what this song is? You go to a party. You borrow a guy's guitar, you play a few simple licks. Maybe a song or two. Something well loved. Everyone nods their head. They're all, "yeah, that was pretty good." You look the guy who gave you his guitar in the eye. You say "I was just teasing your girl for a little bit, but now I'm gonna
fuck her." And you just fucking rip into
Caught With Your Pants Down. By the time you finish, by this time, on your fucking knees and sweating, you pass the guy his guitar back, and he is
shamed. He will never play anything on that guitar the same way again. He has to buy a new guitar. His girlfriend leaves him. The party breaks up and everyone is just walking home, shaking their heads. On the one hand, they had a great experience, but on the other,
why, man.
Why would any human do something so cruel and emasculating to another human? What did they gain from it? None of them will ever know, but they'll know that it needed to be done. That it was inevitable and history led these two guitar aficionados to this clash of destiny.
Highway to Hell ~ I included two AC/DC albums on my list as though they were different bands, because I maintain that Bon Scott and Brian Johnson are that different. Your mileage may vary. Ironically, the album that I chose for Scott is probably the least "Bon Scott" album that he was involved in. It's certainly the least bluesy. Odd, because I like blues, and I like the old AC/DC blues. This album has some of my favorite AC/DC gems, though. My big beef against AC/DC haters is they say the band sounds the same no matter what they produce. That pisses me off. That's lazy. AC/DC sounds the same because the stupid radio plays the same tracks. The best AC/DC is somewhat less popular. (See also:
Ballbreaker) Listen to
Walk All Over You. Listen to
Touch Too Much. These are two tracks on the
same album. They are about the
same subject matter. They are
back-to-back. (Tracks 3 and 4) They're clearly the same band, sure, but they are not particularly similar songs. (Incidentally, those two, plus
Shot Down in Flames are why this is my favorite Bon Scott album. The titular
Highway to Hell? For my money, that is the weakest track on this album. AC/DC is really weird. For the most part, they're better than what you hear on the radio, but they're still
exactly who the songs you know them for represent them to be, unlike, say, Chumbawumba, who are a completely different band that the Radio doesn't give their due.
Powerslave ~ I've said for years this was my favorite Iron Maiden album, and I never really looked into it too hard until Otter asked us to make a list. I know there are several tracks on this album I don't like. Including the extremely popular
Two Minutes to Midnight. This album has 8 tracks. There are 5 I like. That's barely more than half. Total play time for the album that I like? Is less than half. I ain't talking about love. (My love is rotten to the core) I'm talking about
even liking the songs. There are Iron Maiden albums I will listen to from start to finish. So, looking over the other Iron Maiden albums and verifying, "yeah. I'll listen to this whole album and have a good time", I prepared to remove
Powerslave from my list. Then I clicked the info on my computer for
Powerslave.
1)Aces High
3)Losfer Words (Big 'Orra)
4)Flash of the Blade
5)The Duellists
6)Back in the Village
I will never,
ever remove this album from my top 10 list. No how, no way. This is the best Iron Maiden album ever cut. Never have two electric guitars come screaming together along with bass, drums, and (on only four of the tracks!) the human Air-Raid Siren come together for more intense, blood-pumping music. Albums that are "good" all the way through be damned. This album is
just great enough to not give a shit about its flaws.
Cage the Elephant ~ Their self-titled first album. Man. Borderlands is one of my favorite PC games of all time, and is a game I will likely replay for years to come. I would argue that, despite how excellent it is, the best thing it ever did for me was introduce me to Cage the Elephant. I thought Rock and Roll was
dead. I really did. I would have long, desperate conversations with my best friend for hours lamenting how there hasn't been a good, honest-to-god rock band in decades. Like, what do we have? The Black Crowes and Jet? I like both a ton, but they're both largely kinda "eh", and the Crowes' better days are behind them. I bought this sight-unseen because of Borderlands. I figured "Eh. Maybe I'll luck out." I did. These poor bastards have the enviable job of keeping Rock and Roll alive. Music in this country is so wounded they had to move to fucking Britain to do it.
1 This album is amazing. This is the album that really got me back to listening to full albums front-to-back. For years I just rolled with the "shuffle" option. The best part is? It's ANGRY. Rock was missing that. Rap understands. Punk either understands or pretends to, depending on who you ask. Rock, pop... they lost it. Sometimes music isn't real unless the person singing it is honest-to-god goddamn
mad. These guys are. You can tell. I still like their other two albums, but their first album is their best because it's
tight. There's a message. And the music is good. If it were written 20 years earlier,
Lotus would be one of the most respected rock songs of all time. I am
certain of this. It's the best track on the album. It's not played. That kills me. That wounds my soul.
In One Ear, Ain't No Rest for the Wicked, and
Back Against the Wall are all great songs. I am not throwing shade at them.
Lotus is Cage's best song. It's not close. That chorus was made for another time. But it was made for this time. Sometimes I think Rock, and more specifically, protest rock, is in such bad shape because these guys from Bowling Green, Kentucky, of all conceivable places, are the only ones left who
care.Music to Make Love to Your Old Lady By ~ I threw shade at smooth jazz, R&B, songs that were the soft kind of sexy. This album is actually sexy. More amazingly? This is a
joke concept album. It's a parody of sexy albums, but it's still sexy. It's self-aware and has a brilliant sense of humor and that only makes it better. It takes ridiculous lyrics, covers an honest-to-god
bad song at one point.... and it still makes it work. I love that. This is an album that, I swear to God, the people involved sat down and said "I am going to do something incredibly stupid and then I am going to play it completely straight and make it work anyhow." Dan the Automator and Kid Koala spin ridiculous enough beat, and Mike Patton and Jennifer Charles' vocals are so
fucking amazing, that it turns the concept in on its ear and stays sexy anyhow. That's incredible. You want proof of how amazing this concept album is? It takes
this ridiculous, peak 80s madness and turns it into
This. Are you kidding me? You wanna hear something crazier?
This is possibly the worst track on the album. I can't listen to this when my one roommate is home. It is too much for her. This album is amazing in how it smashes its own ridiculousness to pieces. There is a track on this album with the lyric "You are the griddle (I am the Meat)" and it is still fucking good.
How is that even possible?A Night at the Opera ~ I have less to say about this one, partly because its on so many of your lists already. So you guys
know why this is a fucking great album. My two cents, and perhaps largely unpopular opinion?
Bohemian Rhapsody is maybe the third best track on this album, tops. It's a shame that
Death on Two Legs never became one of Queen's more well-known tracks, because it's the angriest, rawest that queen has ever really been. You listen to those lyrics, realize they actually are fucking
directed at another human being and you realize just how fucking
mad that guy made them. You idiot. You made
some of the greatest songwriters ever mad, at
you, and then they went and wrote a song for you about
what kind of a giant turd you are. And Freddie just fucking COMMITS. He is
spitting out those vocals in just pure fucking seething rage. How do you turn a band of such positivism into
that? It's if the Stones'
Under Assistant West Coast Promotion Man were less tongue-in-cheek make fun of the nerd, and more 100% "No, seriously,
fuck this asshole." Even the PIANO is mad. I'm gonna change gears for a second. Lots of you have this album, and love this album. I want you to sit down. I want you to pop this album in, or fire up the MP3 you have, assuming you ripped it at ultra-high quality. I want you to put on the best pair of headphones you can find. No earbuds allowed. I want you to turn on
The Prophet's Song. Just... marvel at how it fades from one ear to the other. 1)Holy. Shit. 2)You're welcome.
1 (Incidentally, if you want to know who the most successful non-solo American rock artist is of all time? It's the Eagles. The FUCKIN EAGLES, man. Or about half of Foreigner if you wanna do bands of mixed origin. American Rock has never been that good. Just sayin'.
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