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General Chat / NBA 2015-2016: Kobe is going to retire before Joey Crawford

« on: October 09, 2015, 07:32:37 PM »

God damn it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I returned to the forums, and I see Scar is still on the forum, so there you go. We have our two guys who might be interested in this topic starting up again, so I have officially started this year's basketball thread.

I am going to start with some offseason analysis and ongoing season predictions for all teams.

ATLANTIC DIVISION

Boston Celtics:
I really like the Celtics and I hope they continue doing well. "But VSM" you may say, "Didn't you hate the Celtics?" Well yeah. I did. Like three or four years ago. But that's because I hated KG and Rondo, even though they were both really good at basketball. Now the Cs have a bunch of guys that are not AS good at basketball, but are still pretty damn good, and liable to get better.
The offseason saw the departure of Bass, which is good, because the Celtics have the enviable problem of having "too many potentially really good big men," so it's nice to see them make some moves to rep---oh, they also picked up David Lee and Amir Johnson.
So the Celtics have a LOT of good-to-very good big men. A solid guard rotation, assuming they realize this year that Isaiah Thomas is a lot better than Marcus Smart. This is a team that you can be really excited over, because hey, they already made the playoffs, and there's basically no way that anyone on the team was playing to their full potential. I think Celtics fans should be happy they missed that Winslow deal, because unless Winslow becomes a superstar of some kind, I'm pretty sure with all these assets and the inevitable piling on of MORE assets, Boston is going to (continue to) be a playoff team for quite some time.

Brooklyn Nets
I have them as my pick to lose the most games from last season to this one. I've never been big on Deron Williams, but they are basically losing him and... god, are they gonna start Steve Blake?
At any rate, the Nets have no future, and that tickles me, because I really can't stand them and their Russian Mob-boss owner. I used to joke and say they should give Jay Z more control of the team, but you know what? He's almost certainly got better business sense than their entire front office (which traded away their entire future for two aging superstars that aren't even there anymore) No picks in the coming draft, which has to hurt, because they stand a very good chance at winning it.

New York Knicks
Thanks to Brooklyn, I can't make fun of the Knicks as much as I used to. I mean, hell, they're not even the most incompetent team in their own city anymore.
I like Phil Jackson, and I like the moves he's made, and I also like that he's basically given the finger to the idea that the Knicks need to win now because they have Melo. You can't win now with Melo, unless you have a really good player to serve alongside him. In another universe, he found his way to Brooklyn with Williams and the two of them are competing for titles and generally pissing me off. In this universe, he gets to watch the development of Porzingis, and share a locker room with a player he once choked out on the floor during a game, which delights me to no end.
Actually, Vujacic being back in the league delights me in general. The idea that he might be choked out by his own teammate is a cherry on top of my sundae. I love that smelly, weird bastard.

Philadelphia 76ers
Every time I think they might not be the worst team in the league again (actually the Wolves and the Knicks managed to sneak one by last year) I remember that they traded away their only good player, and hey, maybe Okafor turns out to be something special but....
http://stats.nba.com/team/#!/1610612755/players/
Look at this team and tell me who the point guard is. No, seriously. Because I honestly don't fucking know, and that's real, real bad. I hope they decide on Scottie Wilbelkin, because he's really fun, but no matter who they go with, I'll crap my pants if they average 5 assists a game. So yeah, Okafor might be great! He might mesh perfectly with Nerlens Noel! Without a point guard, this is a team that will struggle to win 20 games.

Toronto Raptors
I forgot this team existed on an earlier prediction thread/poll and I regret it because they'll probably make the playoffs. I mean, they won't do anything once there, but they'll probably make it, you guys.
They threw a bunch of money at a guy who basically only plays defense, which sounds crazy, but then you remember they're the Raptors and, uh... a little bit of defense could seriously make a huge difference. They are crazy bad at defense.
I remember when Ron Artest went to Sacramento and basically instantly pulled the team out of the gutter. It's a shame that Demarre Carol is nowhere near as good as Artest was, but the flipside is, he doesn't have to pull this team nearly as far. They also picked up the entertaining Biyombo and the very solid Luis Scola. The only reason I'm not higher on this team is that two of the better teams in the East missed the playoffs (and how often do you get to say that) because of Injuries/Illness. Boston and Milwaukee probably will both improve. I feel like this team just is getting outpaced.

CENTRAL DIVISION

Chicago Bulls
It's... Thursday? Which means Derrick Rose is injured. I love how people put all the stock in the Bulls on the shoulders of Rose, despite the rest of the team being really good. Like, I mean really fucking good.
Now, this isn't to disrespect Rose, because yeah, he was terrific once upon a time, and I think everyone wants to see him back to that kind of a player. But seriously, the Chicago Bulls are fantastic.
They've made basically no roster moves, aside from pick up a big man who can play right now, which is nice, because they are aging a bit in that respect.
Jimmy Butler had a fantastic, breakout season. Pau Gasol honestly deserved a couple of votes in the MVP race. He played better than his little brother, and he got one. I call shenanigans.
At any rate, you can never call it a foregone conclusion that LeBron will go to the Finals, because this is a team that can beat him.

Cleveland Cavaliers
Nonetheless, this was a team that was beaten up pretty badly last year, and this year, they'll, hopefully, be healthy. There's not a lot to say about the Cavs. LeBron is the GOAT. Fuck the haters and the asterisk-ers. He has a lot of help surrounding him. This really ought to be the team to beat, and not just in the East, but, well, we'll see.
You always hear about supposed conflict between James and Love, but I just don't see it. LeBron and Love are like, two of the chillest dudes in the league.
Mo Williams is a quiet, huge pickup and between him and the player known as "Health", this might be what they need to go over the edge.

Detroit Pistons
Stanley Johnson looks like Rookie of the Year, based off the highly reliable and never wrong metric that is Summer League.
That said, losing Greg Monroe has got to hurt. He was an extremely reliable post player that also passes the ball at a terrific level for a guy his size. I understand that he didn't work so well with Drummond and I guess Drummond has more up side, but that's not what you like to see happen to a team.
The Reggie Jackson signing looks insane. I like Stan as a coach, but I think there's too much emphasis by coaches on "Is this a guy I can coach?" and not nearly enough of "How do I best coach this guy?" I think the great ones adapt to their personnel and not the other way around. Look at how much success Pop has had by making the fucking Spurs into an uptempo team. Know your pieces. Don't pay huge contracts to guys that back-up superstars. On the other hand, Houston paid a huge contract to a guy that backed up those exact superstars and that worked exceedingly well for them, so maybe there's something to it.
I hope Drummond isn't compared to Anthony Davis for his entire career, because that's not a match-up in his favor. I guess Davis is doing the Tim Duncan thing of pretending he's a power forward, so there's that, at least.

Indiana Pacers
Oh, boy. I finally get to talk about the Pacers. Oh, man.
So you guys know this is a good team, right? Like, a "potentially knock Cleveland out in the East" team, yeah?
No. No, a lot of people forget that. Everyone forgets that. They look at a team that missed the playoffs in the East and lost two important big men in David West and the corpse of Roy Hibbert. That's fair. That's very fair.
But Paul George is going to be back, and that's more or less the sole reason why the Pacers are my prediction for "Biggest swing in wins". Paul George is that damn good. Of course, you can't expect a guy to return from injury and be exactly where he was before. Hell, Rose has shown us that you can't even expect an MVP caliber player to come back remotely good. But George went out as a top 5 player in the league. He honestly doesn't need much help to be dangerous.
Monte Ellis is a good pick-up and should mesh with what the team has going. Indiana's draft was really positive

Milwaukee Bucks
Adding Greg Monroe to a playoff team instantly gives it a certain level of Gravitas that it was maybe missing before. They lose out on Ilyasova, but where Ersan was always kind of inconsistent, Greg is pretty much a rock. You're gonna get 15 and 10 from him, a few assists. Milwaukee is a great fit, and I love that he picked it over a flashier destination because he knew it was a great fit.
Their young guys should improve. It'll be nice for them to get an actual season out of Jabari Parker, because that kid looked like he might be special before he went down. Khris Middleton might be the most underrated player in the NBA. (I forgot he existed when I filled out a survey and now I'm kicking myself.) I'd like to see if Jason Kidd can reign in Michael Carter-Williams a little. I really like MCW, and his career kind of looks like a young Jason Kidd's, but HOLY SHIT the dude has a turnover problem. Like, "Historically bad". Then again, Kidd was also really, really bad at turnovers. Not AS bad, but really bad, early on.

SOUTHEAST DIVISION
Atlanta Hawks
I spoke pretty sort of highly about Demarre up in the Toronto blurb. I guess the only real thing I have to say about the Hawks is to ask and then answer the question:
Q)Do I think the Hawks will suffer too badly from the departure of Carroll?
A)Naw

Charlotte Hornets
God, I love typing that. Charlotte Hornets. Charlotte Hornets. I bought a T-shirt and made my inner Jr. High VSM smile.
This is a stealth Playoff pick. I don't personally have them in the mix, but Jeremy Lin, Nic Batum and Frank Kaminsky are all really solid players. Lance Stephenson gave them NOTHING. They might miss Vonleh. I'd love to see what Jeremy Lamb can do if given minutes.
Unfortunately, though, they lost Kidd-Gilchrist for the season, and that's just a huge blow. While he can't really shoot to save his life, MKG is one of those rare elite swingman defenders. Remember when I mentioned how Ron Artest came to Sacramento and instantly made them relevant? And that Demarre Carroll is good, but he wasn't that kind of a talent? Michael Kidd-Gilchrist is that kind of a talent. This whole club is gonna look seriously different without him, and I wouldn't be surprised to see their defense drop 10 places from last year. That blows.
....Charlotte Hornets

Miami Heat
The other East team that missed the playoffs but was actually a top team. Chris Bosh missed the last part of the season with the terrifying injury of "Blood clots in the lungs", which I guess he's better now? I'm glad. Bosh is one of my favorite players in the NBA and I hate to see that kind of a medical report on anyone.
So he's back. Deng finally has someone that can play behind him in Justise Winslow, so he can finally take his poor, Thibideau destroyed body and rest. Goran Dragic is really good and is probably the first real point guard this team has had since the dual-corpse lineup of Jason Williams and Gary Payton. Maybe even Wade can get some rest with this roster? Amare will be nice backup for Bosh.
Healthy, this is one of the best teams in the league, James or no James. Last season they got real unlucky.

Orlando Magic
I really like this team full of strapping young lads and hope they continue to improve.
That said, they really didn't gain anything in the off-season aside from a coach everyone hates. Mario Hezonja seems like a cool dude and is hopefully really good at basketball. I want to be higher on this team, but they stood pat, more or less. Their competition is probably improving faster than they are, and that's not a great sign. Indiana and Miami should both be in the mix if they're healthy. Boston has a similar young roster, but is probably better across the board. Milwaukee should be similar, but got a really solid big man in the offseason and MCW and Giannis can both plausibly take big leaps. Jabari will be back.
Unfortunately, as much as I like these kids, I think they're more or less hopelessly outgunned. It'd be cool to see them turn into the post-Melo Nuggets, but I just don't think that's in the cards. Now I have to wonder if I want them to win a draft, or if I want the players I like to get traded to better situations. It's a very bittersweet feeling in Orlando.

Washington Wizards
Kevin Durant is not going to Washington. Kevin Durant owns several distinct properties in the Oklahoma City area. He is not "going home" next year. He is home, right now. God damn it.
Aside from sports writers not shutting up, and my irrational dislike of John Wall, this is a really solid team that got a fairly cheap Jared Dudley in the offseason, and he's quietly a very solid, very underrated player. They can easily challenge for the East.
The only reason Westbrook wasn't MVP last year was because they -barely- missed the playoffs. James Harden can claim he was MVP all he wants, but the real snub was Russel. dude played out of his goddamn mind.
Nobody in their right mind leaves a team that has another MVP caliber player. NOBODY.

WEST TO FOLLOW

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General Chat / Random Questions: OCTOBER IS SCARY MONTH

« on: September 22, 2015, 11:58:56 PM »

We haven't had one of these for a while, or at least, I've been off board for like, three years, so it's time for one now. Just random questions. Mostly pop cultural, but hey, whatevs:

New questions added 10/1/2015
OCTOBER

• What are some of your favorite songs of all time?
• Gimme a song lyric that has stuck with you.
• Now how about a movie quote?
• Video game quote?
• Screw pop culture for a second. Make me a drink
• How about a dessert?
• In general, what's the tastiest thing you can personally cook, bake, or otherwise prepare?
• You are now a pro-wrestler. What is your ring-music?
• Confess attraction to someone surprising.
• Hate on something universally loved that you just don't -get- man. Add details

Ten is good for now.

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Tournaments / Greatest Fictional Character (PRELIMINARY TOPIC)

« on: March 21, 2013, 10:18:11 PM »

I'm gonna hold a tournament to decide who the DL thinks is the greatest fictional character (of any medium... so long as they're fictional) of all time. At this time, I'm officially accepting applications.

HOW TO NOMINATE:

Simply PM me, Veryslightlymad, a list of up to 10 fictional characters you think are just terrific. After a few days I'll stop accepting applications and seed a tournament, then we'll talk about WHO IS THE GREATEST FICTIONAL CHARACTER OF ALL TIME*

*(According to a select group of internet nerds).

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Discussion / X-Suikoden

« on: June 13, 2012, 08:10:13 PM »

So in a conversation at the Con with Meeple and Scar, I mentioned how Cyclops is followed by Magneto because Cyclops is the guy who actually united the mutants. Scar then declared that Cyclops was the Tenkai star and... uh... things "blossomed" from there. I present to you the beginning of X-Suikoden, using information from various sources and my own experience.

1)Tenkai ~ Cyclops (Duh. Cyclops is the person who united the mutants. Whole point of this exercise.)
2)Tengou ~ Namor (A strong general who offers the support of something that wouldn't be there without them.)
3)Tenki ~ Xavier (This is difficult, because Cyclops is also the chief strategist, usually. And there's little, if anyone, on the X-men he'd defer to a plan over his own. I think, however, that this makes about as much sense as anything. If only for role-reversal, but also because the minds of the strategists tend to be leaps and bounds ahead of what anyone else can come up with, and Xavier's telepathy is essentially cheating.
4)Tenkai ~ Emma Frost (This is the person who guards the tablet. Emma Frost is the chief operator of Cerebro these days---Cerebro may as well be this universe's tablet of the Stars)
5)Tenyu ~ (Sword Guy. Quiet)
6)Tenyu (two tenyus? damn it, Suikoden) ~ (Very seasoned fighter)
7)Tenmou~ (Claims to be strong village leader. Seems to just be strong fighters in their community)
8)Teni ~ (Seems to be a hunter star, but Lucia and Selma feel off.)
9)Tenei ~ Warlock (With exception of Sierra, seems to be someone that never leaves someone else's side. Warlock -> Cypher is the closest I can come up with offhand.)
10)Tenki  (again?!) ~ (Town Mayor?)
11)Tenfu ~ Archangel (Star of Wealth)
12)Tenman ~ (Levelheaded? Relaxed? I need to play more Suikoden games. No real theme here.)
13)Tenko ~ Wolverine (This is Viktor's star. I could stick Wolverine a lot of places, but I went here.)
14)Tensyo ~ (No discernible theme)
15)Tenritsu ~ (Seems to be a right-hand-man to someone else)
16)Tensyo ~ Blindfold (Clive, two oracles, and a hermit. I went with "Oracle")
17)Tenan ~ (A brash young male fighter. There should be several of these)
18)Tenyu ~ Random (Two debt collectors. Random is a bounty hunter)
19)Tenku ~ (No discernible theme. Two animals, I guess?)
20)Tensoku ~ Northstar (This is the godspeed rune user.)
21)Teni ~ (A veteran with a mysterious past? And Aila)
22)Tensatsu ~ Primal (A beastly fighter. Teon is... he's that, definitely)
23)Tenbi ~ (Seems to not have a strong pattern, but searching for something perhaps impossible to reach? I might be able to work with that.)
24)Tenkyu ~ Dazzler (The fabulous star, but not the narcissist star)
25)Tentai ~ (No discernible pattern)
26)Tenjyu ~ Loa (Second in command of Navies, but also Nanami and Geddoe. Loa has an amulet that lets her breathe underwater and seems to be recruited by various heroes (Not just the X-men) for fighting underwater stuff.)
27)Tenken ~ A Stepford Cuckoo (This star is always part of a Trio. I'll arbitrarily assign the actual cuckoos to stars, but really, eh. For now it doesn't matter)
~~~~~

I intend to do this in bursts of 27 before filling in the gaps, but if anyone has a comment on one of these 27, I'd like to hear it.

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Discussion / In this topic, we shatter each other's dreams.

« on: January 18, 2012, 08:18:59 PM »

HY requested that some of us more literary-inclined posters man up and share our horrible, terrible, fanfic-like writings with one another, where we may no doubt say horrible things and forever shatter one another's confidence. After some deliberation, I figured "Eh. May as well."

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General Chat / D&D Whistle

« on: August 09, 2011, 03:06:02 PM »

OK. After trying and failing a few (several) times to run a D&D campaign, I'm ready to try again. However, this is mostly a tit-for-tat deal, because, more than anything, I want to PLAY 4e. So here's how this works:

Someone else will agree to DM a 4e game that I will play in.
I will DM 4e or GM a Mutants and Masterminds campaign, that the other person will play in.

Other people will join our respective campaigns.

For my campaign, the following information is crucial:

We will probably be using Maptool, and CERTAINLY be using SKYPE, because really, voices make everything better. What game y'all want to play is to be decided by my players. I'm pretty flexible. Being a DM every week just... burns me out, even when I'm not doing anything else. I think alternating weeks with folks'd make that a lot easier on me.

Mostly, DEAR GOD, I want to play D&D, and no one I know is cool enough to play with me. Help me, DL. You're my only hope.

7

General Chat / NBA 2010-2011

« on: October 20, 2010, 04:50:11 PM »

THE TIME IS NOW, Gents. With just a couple of weeks before the season, and the league (more or less) calmed down to the point where we've declared what teams are going into the season with, it's time for a fresh new NBA topic, and, because no one asked for it, my Analysis on the various teams heading into the season.

LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!

Atlanta Hawks:
~The thing about Atlanta, is that they have plateaued. I think they've finally gotten past the point where they're a "Growing young team" and they have entered the point where they are a known commodity. They have the same essential core that they had before, and they re-signed Joe Johnson to a huge contract (a bit overpaying him) and are going to have to re-sign Al Horford, which means that super sixth man Jamaal Crawford is left as the odd man out at the end of the season. And this is a team that, while good in the old East, is going to drop off some as other teams up the anti. I still feel like they're going to make the playoffs, and do it fairly easily, but no one really thinks this is a championship contending team. And that's not a bad thing, per se. Atlanta's ownership group is pretty much continually embroiled in legal battles amongst itself, among other zaniness. From their perspective, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Winning a championship is simply not on Atlanta's agenda---Their goal is to field an exciting, competitive team and put butts in seats. Which is something they'll get when they have a perennial playoff team like the Hawks.

Boston Celtics:
~With the hubbub in Miami, people have been selling the Cs short, and though it pains me to admit it, this team is still really, really good. Top-to-bottom, it's well constructed, with one of the best starting lineups in the league----they'd probably be THE best starting lineup if Kendrick Perkins wasn't injured----and a very solid bench with some great contributors. It'll be interesting to see how the O'neals handle the duties that Perkins was taking care of, because, for all the shit I give the guy, Perk is a really great defender---probably more important to the Celtics' success than anyone on the team except Paul Pierce and Rajon Rondo. They also played the Lakers to a very close 7 games last season, so as near as I can tell, they're the best team in the East until someone beats them.

Charlotte Bobcats:
~There's little to say about the Bobcats at this point, because they haven't changed all that much since the previous season. They ejected Raymond Felton for DJ Augustin, but no coach in the history of the Bobcats has actually used Felton correctly, so it's hard to say if that'll lead to an improvement or a drop-off. I honestly haven't seen enough of Augustin to determine what kind of a player he is, so it strikes me that the 'cats are taking a bit of a risk here. I like them deciding to re-sign Tyrus Thomas during the off-season, because he's a player that is going to get shit from a lot of the press and draw a lot of ire, but he can still produce, especially on the defensive end of the ball, and he can have an exciting play, and that's the kind of player the Bobcats have. There's a bit of the Larry Brown "I'm going to collect players labled as 'troubled' by other coaches", and I think that this coach, this team, and this franchise are a good fit for what it needs----The Bobcats are too new and too backwater for any big-time players to want to go to, but if they collect enough solid pieces that other teams might stay away from, they just might get something going to get noticed. If the talent gets built up naturally, people will want to come and play. Right now, the Bobcats are one of the teams that will be competing for a low playoff spot in the East, and probably the one from last season most in danger of losing their previous position.

Chicago Bulls:
~Lost in the talks of the East is Chicago: a team that, without all that much fanfare, went and got Carlos Boozer in free agency after losing out to Miami for both LeBron James and Chris Bosh.  Chicago is a team that has very few holes as far as its construction. Almost the opposite of what they used to be, the Bulls have turned into a team with very little by way of perimeter scoring. They did, however, pick up Kyle Korver, who has proven time and again with bad perimeter teams, that he's very comfortable being the designated long ball guy. Derrick Rose has also proclaimed that he's improved his shooting, but like most claims by players, I'll believe it when I see it. I'm not entirely sure that the move to get Boozer will put the Bulls over the top, but they are a very strong team that did, in fact, just get quite a bit stronger. For my money, they're probably the fourth best team in the East now.

Cleveland Cavaliers:
~It's very easy to count the Cavs out after the departure of James, and by the metric of "could they win a championship", well, I'd be an idiot not to agree. But there's an awful lot of hyperbole about them suddenly being the worst team in the league, or the worst team in the East, or incapable of making the playoffs---and it's just that. Hyperbole. Actually, when you get right down to it, the Cavs weren't a particularly poorly constructed team---they just had a serious tendency to think short-term, which I think hurt them a bit. But if you look at the pieces that are still there, Jamison can play once he's adjusted to a system. Mo Williams can still play. Anderson Verajao will be a good contributor as long as he's never allowed to touch the ball. Hickson is actually quite a bit better than people may think----being the replacement to LeBron is going to be some awful big shoes to fill, and he's in no way capable of doing that, but the kid is athletic and talented and may surprise some people with the numbers that he's going to put up this season. Getting rid of Mike Brown is essential, because MAN OH MAN. Aside from defensive schemes, Mike Brown is just a really shitty coach.

Dallas Mavericks:
~Very possibly the deepest team in the league, although the Celtics or Blazers could definitely give them a run for their money in that regard. The Mavericks continue to frustrate me, as it's no secret that I'm a pretty huge Dallas fan. On paper, this might be the best team in the league, although Dirk and especially Jason Kidd aren't getting any younger. Really, though, having Brendan Haywood and Tyson Chandler makes for yet another two-headed monster at center, where both are very good defenders, and capable of putting the ball in the basket--provided you don't ask them to too often. Beaubois continuing to develop is important for this team, and assuming Shawn Marion and Caron Butler can play on the wings together, this is a team that, like every year, rightfully ought to be competing for a title, but often has difficulties making it past the first round. I just.... don't understand why.

Denver Nuggets:
~All right. I've pretty much had it with Carmelo Anthony. I gave him another chance, I stood up and admitted when he was finally starting to get it and become a better player internally, which is really where he needs to develop, because the skills are all there. But the guy is an asshole. Although he claims he never said anything about wanting to be traded, George Karl definitely talks about how he did, and if there's one thing George Karl is actually good for, it's telling shit like it is.  How someone can be on one of the better teams in the league and decide to say "You know what? I want to be traded to a contender" is beyond me. If he walks away like LeBron did, then I can't blame him---he doesn't owe anything to Denver. But the opposite is also true. Denver sure as shit doesn't owe him anything. His team is built VERY well from top to bottom, with guys like Martin and Nene up front being really nasty on the inside, and a bench with sparkplugs like Chris Anderson, who'll sometimes crush a team on defense and the glass, and JR Smith, who'll sometimes win a game by himself. Earth to Melo: YOU'RE ON A FUCKING CONTENDER. AND YOU CAN'T WIN. Maybe you don't deserve to win anything. You're too fucking young to be clamoring for a championship, you whiny little brat. Where the Nuggets go depends entirely on what happens with the Anthony situation.

Detroit Pistons:
~My pick for worst team in the league, at least in taking the long-view. I actually almost incited a local guy into a fist fight with me over this sentiment, in case you forgot what state I live in.  The Pistons are built comically bad, and I wouldn't be surprised to see Joe Dumars sacked fairly soon, because the last couple of years have reflected poorly on him, particularly last off-season. Two of their best (and highest paid) players play the same position. They drastically overpaid for Charlie Villanueva, who by all rights should be a lifetime bench player, but keeps finding his way into starting lineups. If T-Mac (did you know he was on the Pistons? YOU DO NOW!) comes back in any semblance, all he is is another shooting guard. The guy I got in an argument with was trying to say that Rodney Stuckey was the way of the future, and if that's the case, then I feel pretty goddamn bad for Detroit. I can't think of another team in the league that would happily start Stuckey. I used to say the Grizzlies would, but as it turns out, Mike Conley Jr. has actually been improving, so I'm not sure they would, either. Maybe Austin Daye turns out well, but that's about all they have going for them. Jonas Jerebko was a good pickup last year, but ruptured his achilles tendon, so that's one more solid piece the Pistons are missing. This is a team with no cap-space, aging and limited talent, a conflict of interest when it comes to the best players, and no future.

Golden State Warriors:
~Things are looking up for a team now that they have an entirely new front office and owner. They start things off by adding David Lee, which is actually pretty damn big news, because he's the sort of guy that the team needs. Steph Curry was amazing last year and looks to continue that trend after a more-than-solid performance with the USA Men's National Team. Monte Ellis is still really good, if a bit of a jackass, and Don Nelson is gone, which means less-visually exciting games, but probably a much greater shot of actually winning games in the long-term, because now guys who have actual size can see time on the court. The David Lee pickup is pretty darn huge for them, because he's actually really good. People say that when you're on a bad team, someone has to get the points and so on, but this is demonstrably false. When you're on a team with good players, it's easier to score and rebound and play effectively. When you look at a team like Miami, sure, I'd expect the scoring of Wade and LeBron to go down (I'd expect Bosh's scoring to -increase-), but their already monstrous efficiency is almost certainly going to improve from the lessened pressure on them. The Warriors are a better team than the Knicks were last year, so I'd expect David Lee to perform a little better, and he was already a damn good performer.  Where Golden State ends up depends on how much they improve on defense. They actually have half of defense down---they force more turnovers and get more steals than anyone. If they can get actual stops to compliment that, then they should be right back in the playoff race.

Houston Rockets:
~Yao claims he's healthy, but I'm not sure I can agree with that sentiment.  There's little to the Rockets this year that's particularly new. They have a great front office, they have a knack for surrounding their players with winning, capable talent that performs way above their level. The big difference is that this time around it's Kevin Martin and Yao Ming that need to stay healthy, instead of Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming.  Assuming Yao isn't as brittle this year, then there's a good chance they'll make some noise with this squad, but in the end, I half to think that we'll see more tragedy in Houston, which is just a shame, because they do so much right.

Indiana Pacers:
~This is a team that I think is on the rise, but after being disappointed by the Pacers time and again, I'm not going to declare them a serious playoff capable team. No, instead I think the Pacers are a team that is going to improve incrementally for the next few years, and then we'll see what happens. In events that surprised everyone, ALL of the Pacers' rookies seem like they'll become pretty solid basketball players one day, which is a big shot in the arm to a team that's low on talent. ...Actually, if I had to name a problem I had with the Pacers, it's that, as an organization, they have no gamble to them. Time and again, the Pacers pick the proven commodity over taking any semblance of a risk, and sometimes, that's exactly what you need to do. I think that they'll be happy with Collison as their new Point Guard, for instance. I do not think, however, that it's what you do when you're already at the bottom, where you have so little to lose. A really good team taking a big risk to get a little better is generally a pretty stupid move in my book, but if a BAD team takes a big risk to get better-----they don't exactly have much to feel too bad about. Also worth keeping track of is Tyler Hansborough's vertigo, which to me, is a really fucking scary "injury", if you could call it that. I'm worried that the kid has some kind of underlying medical condition that no one has recognized yet, and he's pretty much the top of my list of "Players who might die this year". After Jamaal Tinsley, it's nice to know that the Pacers are consistent in something.

LA Clippers:
~A sleeper team this year. It's easy to rule the Clippers out because, well, they're the Clippers, but people seem to forget that they have last year's number one draft pick, Blake Griffin, lurking around, and he's not only healthy, he's also been an absolute MONSTER in the pre-season, dropping averages of 17 and 12 with an efficiency rating that would put him in the top 10 of all players last season. He's paired up on the inside with Chris Kaman, who is one of the best Centers in the league, and Baron Davis is running the point. Davis got a lot of shit last season for not playing well enough, but he put up 15 points and 8 assists a game, and managed to play 75 games. He's not brittle anymore, and when he wants to be, he's still pretty much unguardable inside, because he's just so damn big compared to every other point guard in the league. Between the three of them, they can pound the ball relentlessly into the post and there's not a whole lot other teams can do about it. As insurance, they have the very capable shooter Eric Gordon floating around on the outside, willing to make teams pay for collapsing on the interior. This is a team that's ready for a playoff run RIGHT NOW, and on top of it, they have cap space. When I asked the guy I argued with about the Pistons who he thought had a worse long-term future, he said "The Clippers", and that was when I dropped the conversation because the dude just isn't paying attention to basketball.

LA Lakers:
~I'd talk at length about how this is a team that everyone's forgotten about somehow, despite the chance that they're the returning two-time champions, but actually, that's the narrative everyone ELSE is running with, which means it's completely false. Because people ARE still talking about the Lakers.  No, the real news is, there's no big stories surrounding the Lakers. And why should there be? They didn't DO anything in the off-season. They didn't need to. The Lakers, in my mind, are NBA champions until someone pries that trophy away from them. They are the best team in the league.

Memphis Grizzlies:
~Another team that is rising slowly.  Offensively, this team is damn good. And size-wise, they're pretty terrifying with a 1-2 punch of Marc Gasol and Zach Randolf. Randolf is a total headcase, but by accounts, has gotten somewhat better about it last year, and hey, he'll still give you a reliable (albeit crazy person) 20-10 a night, which is never something to sneeze at.  I usually like to give Mike Conley shit, and that's because he's not really good, but I look at his stats, and he's actually been improving incrementally over the past few seasons. He might just keep it up, especially as the rest of the guys grow and develop, too. They gave Rudy Gay a nice big pay-day, but he's a solid player, and no one in their right mind is going to come to Memphis anyway, so it's a good move for them, especially if they continue to improve from the inside----there's a little about what I said about the Bobcats coming into play here. You're not on the map until you put yourself on the map. I'm far from a Grizzlies fan, but I certainly respect what they're doing.

Miami Heat:
~Where do I begin?
OK, how is it that we're anointing this team NBA champions already, even though these same three players, surrounded by a much greater range of talent, couldn't beat the Greek national team a few years back? Could the 2006 Greek National team win the NBA championship?
I know, I know. It's not a fair argument. And hey, Boston recently put together 3 guys and totally won the championship, right?
Well, no. Boston had a great bench, and a starting lineup rounded out by Rajon Rondo and Kendrick Perkins----particularly the latter, for all that Rondo is way better on defense than Carlos Arroyo. For all the hype this team has around it, I honestly don't see how they plan on beating Boston or Orlando to take the East this year---And I'm not firmly sold on the idea that they're better than Chicago or Milwaukee, either.  They have absolutely no one on this team that can defend the post. Bosh won't. James won't. Their starting center, Joel Anthony, is athletic and big, but he's insanely raw, and a veteran big like Carlos Boozer, Dwight Howard, or Andrew Bogut is going to clown him into foul trouble REALLY quickly. They have some serious firepower and talent with Wade, Bosh, and James, but without anything protecting the inside, they're not going to beat the Magic, and they're CERTAINLY not going to beat the Lakers. So no, I don't really buy into the hype---at least in regards to this season.
THAT SAID, the long-term outlook for this team is absurdly good. The salaries of the big three (The biggest three? The HUGE three?) will keep some free agents away, but the Heat have the enviable position of being able to sign agents and draft picks ENTIRELY based on need----they can put themselves in "championship mode" right now with regards to building, and their three main pieces are so young, that it's not mortgaging their future----this IS their future. So while I don't think this is the year of the Heat, I think they'll have a hell of a coming out party, and that they'll quickly be the team to beat with a little finagling in the next couple of seasons.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyhow, I have to get to class, and "halfway" is as good a place to stop as any. I'll post the rest of my thoughts either later tonight or tomorrow.

8

General Chat / Borderlands: The time has come

« on: August 25, 2010, 07:51:41 AM »

All right, gentlemen. Borderlands recently had a big sale and apparently several of us already have it, and well.... Borderlands is an awful lot of fun. So I hereby put forward the motion that we, as friends, should play Borderlands TOGETHER.

WHAT IS BORDERLANDS:

Borderlands is a First Person Shooter available on PC and Xbox (Unfortunately, the game doesn't let you mix consoles). It contains elements straight out of the Diablo school of roleplaying, with random drops and a metric fuck-ton of weapons to pick from, with several different styles. It also has the Diablo three tree skill system, and four playable classes to pick from.



.............and that's all I got. I'm apparently really terrible at making first-posts, but here we are. Let's discuss and play Borderlands together!

9

General Chat / Sunday D&D Interest Check

« on: September 17, 2009, 09:31:02 PM »

Exactly what it sounds like. I'm thinking about running a 4e game on Sundays, because I pretty much have nothing to do on that day of the week.

My entire Sunday is free, morning, afternoon, and night. So if anyone is interested in keeping the Sabbath Holy by playing Satan's Favorite Game, then post itt.

10

Discussion / Composite Greatest RPG Ever: Topic 1

« on: September 15, 2009, 02:06:54 PM »

Ok, kids! We're gonna try something different this time. The general idea is I'm gonna come up with a list of metrics to weigh RPGs by, and then we're all going to come up with a top 10 list for each individual metric. Then, because I'm not the resident Mathematics or Statistics guy and thus can't come up with the BEST way of compiling the composite scores, I'll just toss out every way of rating the games I can come up with! Sound fun?

BUT FIRST:
We need an actual list of scores to compile. Here's a tentative list of what I have in mind, and a reasoning for it if I feel like it needs one. This topic is for debating the list of categories, including adding new ones, changing or combining existing ones, or removing metrics entirely.

The list so far:
Plot
Characters
Setting
Music
Visuals
Gameplay
Overall (Sometimes, I feel, the sum is greater than it's parts)
Originality

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's what I got so far. Weigh in on these metrics, please. Ideally, I would like 10 individual categories, just so everything is all nice and round.

11

General Chat / NBA 2009-2010

« on: June 19, 2009, 05:47:48 PM »

OK. Right now this is a filler topic, so the next time I'm on, I can look at it and say "Oh, yeah! I'm gonna talk about the draft!" which should be interesting, because the NBA draft is generally the one area where I tend to really suck at making predictions. (And if you kept track of my predictions last year, you'll notice that I could probably make better predictions if I picked at random. This is for the REGULAR SEASON.)

Anyhow. Lakers won the championship. Chris Paul laughably got on the All-Defense team 1 while Chauncey Billups didn't get on either team one or team two, despite vaulting his team up something like 12 places for opponents points per 100 possessions. Criminal.

12

Writeup Graveyard / Slade (vs Blastoise)

« on: June 06, 2009, 12:39:33 AM »

Shining Force fighters have traditionally gotten abused in the arena, but Slade seems like he could be quite the exception. Blessed with a fairly swift sword and surprisingly ridiculous strength for a wire-thin little rat, Slade has an appropriate set of tools for cracking the shell of this tortoise. Raijin isn't actually lightning elemental, despite all appearances, but it IS armor-piercing, which is nearly as good in this sort of fight. Of course, even better than that, in nearly all fights, is the Gisarme--a legendary sword that can bisect full-fledged bosses and more importantly, turtles.

13

Writeup Graveyard / Locke (vs Macha)

« on: June 06, 2009, 12:32:55 AM »

This whole division is humiliating. Locke, an accomplished treasure hunter and veteran of several battles and, oh yeah, the ultimate victory over the Godlike Kefka, hates being in light. He hates it. Why? Because a division up, his friend Mog gets to fight an actual mage with actual lightning magic that could maybe, in some universe, pose a threat. But what does Locke get to fight? That's right. A housewife. Sure, housewives can be pretty tough, and Macha happens to be tougher than the average mother-of-two, but Locke is still a fast, fairly effective warrior with an actual bladed weapon.

14

Forum Games / The Universalis Thread

« on: June 04, 2009, 02:00:49 PM »

Universalis is a story-telling game that's piqued my interest, whereupon individual players collaboratively spin a yarn, but there are interesting game mechanics added that separate it from normal collaborative fiction.

Here's how the game works:

BASIC RULES
~Each player is given 25 "Coins" to start with. These are the chief means of controlling action in Universalis. (25 is the default number. Since none of us have played together before, this would presumably be the number we used at first.)
~A position order is arbitrarily decided. This influences turn order and bidding order. I recommend using Hatbot, and having the position order be based alphabetically on whatever names folks start with. ALTERNATELY, using Hatbot, and having the position order decided also by Hatbot.

To start, players bid on "Tenets" Tenets fall into three categories: Story Elements, Social Contracts, and Rule Gimmicks.
Story Elements are the skeletal structure of the game. The genre of the game is defined here. The first player pays a coin and introduces one story element they want. Such as a base genre. Each player can add something significant to the setting until all players pass (in a row). Players do not have to introduce a story element if they are comfortable playing what the others came up with.
This time can also be used to introduce the Social Contract: These are house etiquette rules. "Your turn is skipped if you don't act within five minutes" would be an example of a proposed Social Contract rule. As with all elements of Universalis, these cost one coin to propose.
Rule Gimmicks are exactly what they sound like. They are proposed changes to the core rules of the game. While nothing STOPS you from introducing these, it seems like we ought to be a bit more familiar with the BASIC game before we start changing the rules. Rule Gimmicks, like everything else, cost a coin to propose.

BUT WHAT IF YOU DON'T AGREE WITH THE PROPOSALS?

ANY action can prompt a challenge from another player. Challenges have two phases: Negotiation and Bidding.
In the negotiation phase, the two players involved in the challenge can attempt to reach a common ground without any further dispute. If this happens, then play continues as normal.
However, if the players cannot agree, then the Bidding phase begins. Bidding begins with the challenger. He must spend at least one coin. If s/he refuses, then the challenge fails and play progresses as normal. Bidding progresses as per the usual turn order, however the person being challenged is skipped and bids LAST. Each player bids in turn any number of coins (including zero) for either solution, OR they may propose their OWN solution and bid coins for that.
Bidding continues in this manner until everyone passes. The total coins bid are counted, and the side with the most coins wins the challenge. Ties go to the player being challenged.
-If the Challenger wins, then the challenged item is adjusted, and play resumes as normal on whatever turn it was.
-If the person challenged wins, then no changes are necessary, and the item challenged is immune from further challenges.
-All coins bid from any side are spent.

HOWEVER, if an action contradicts an established fact, then all coins in defense of the fact during the challenge count for double. Retcons that people dispute will cost you dearly. (But if no one disputes it, then it's a fact!)
A fact is any piece of information that a player successfully spent a coin on. A fact is absolutely true until someone pays for a contradictory fact, and that contradiction is either not challenged, or successfully defeats the challenge.
~~~~
Play works in scenes. At the beginning of each scene, all players earn a refreshment of coins. The default of which is 5.
At the beginning of the game, and at the end of all scenes, players bid in secret for the right to frame the scene. This bid is revealed simultaneously, with the highest bid winning the right to frame the scene.  In the case of ties, the winner is the person closest to next in line in play order to the last person who framed a scene.
Failed bids are not spent. Players regain the use of their coins if they did not successfully win framework of the scene. The coins used in the winning bid are ALSO not spent, however, if they are not spent at some point in time during the scene, then they are forfeited.

Framing a scene works as follows:
The framing player establishes and pays for Location, time, and any components present. (Components are things like characters, or just additional information in the setting. A component that is paid for is a fact. Additionally, opponents can be purchased multiple times. If "Roy" has a component of "strong" bought for him twice, he's VERY strong. It's like having two traits.)
Each individual fact about the location or any present component costs an additional coin. For instance, saying the setting is "A bar" is one coin. Saying it is a "Bustling tavern" is two coins. One for the location, and one for the descriptor. Notice that, even though the tavern is "bustling", since no characters have been introduced as components, it's all flavor text. Only when someone pays a coin to introduce someone as a component, can other people interact with it. You can't shoot the bartender until someone pays to have a bartender.
Time costs one coin. In all scenes past the first, if the time is not immediately after the last scene or simultaneously to the last scene, then it costs a coin. If the framer introduces a scene that rejoins a group of characters in an established setting, he neither has to pay for the characters nor the setting. (However, taking the established characters to an established setting they weren't already at costs a point, because the setting CHANGED. Savvy?)
Once the first EVENT is payed for ({x} talks to {y}. A tree falls down. There is a roar of thunder. Et cetera) then the framework is over, and play resumes as normal. That is, the player can now be interrupted and lose his turn. Or, if they aren't interrupted, they can end their turn, or even the scene.

At any time a player wishes, other than the initial framing of a scene, they may interrupt the current player and take control of the scene. This costs a coin. If multiple players interrupt at the same time, the player who is closest to next in line for turn wins the interrupt. Note, that players can interrupt back and forth if they don't wish to cede control. This is essentially the same as a challenge.

Other players can do the following at any time:
Interrupt, as discussed.
Challenge, as discussed.
Create an obstacle--This turns an event into a complication, to be discussed later.
Speak dialogue for any components they control.
Pay a coin to take control of any components they do NOT control.
Control of an object is the sole ownership of the person who introduced that object to the scene. This is regardless of whether or not the person introducing the component to the scene was the original creator of the component.

The scene continues until the person who framed the scene declares it over. Only the player who framed the scene may end it. When a scene ends, players earn their refreshment (again, ordinarily five coins), and then secretly bid for the right to frame the next scene.
When a scene ends, it can be continued upon as is later in the story, perhaps even the next scene. HOWEVER, the person ending the scene can pay an additional coin to "Fade to Black", which means that particular scene cannot be reaccessed in the future.

Components have importance. Importance is the total sum value of all points spent on the creation of that component. For instance, a nameless soldier is only 1 importance. To eliminate/kill the soldier, 1 coin must be spent. The master mechanic with a surly disposition, Bob, who has a wife and daughter has an importance of -5-. One for being a master mechanic, one for being surly (assuming someone spent a coin to say "Yes. Bob is surly." One for his name. And one for each family member he canonically has. Killing Bob will require SIX coins. One for the causing event, and 5 for the result of "Bob dies", because Bob is pretty darned important. Note that if Bob is shot (1 coin) and Wounded (1 coin), Bob gains the trait "Wounded" and is harder to kill FOR STORY PURPOSES, because frankly, it's more dramatic to have the wounded guy survive than to slowly die. But if something DOES off him, it better be pretty spectacular, since Bob now has an importance of 6.

In addition, there are Master Components these are a template assumed to be fact, so that later creations that follow the same rules can be cheaper. Take the soldier from the previous example. Let's say he was based on a soldier MASTER component for the setting. The master component was purchased initially to give soldiers in the setting a Rocket Launcher, shotgun, and shovel, and make them unusually tough. The Master component cost 4, plus at least 1 to introduce an initial soldier matching that template. All further soldiers introduced will be assumed to have all of those advantages, and only the corresponding importance of "is a soldier".

Master components cannot be eliminated until all of their introduced sub components are eliminated first.
~~~
Players cannot interact with components not under their control. If they attempt to do so, or if they decide an event is an obstacle, then they have created a Complication. Complications are the last important game mechanic, and one of the harder to explain.

Complications begin under the previous circumstances, and then players begin creating dice pools.
Dice pools consist of 1 die per coin spent on the complication (or the defense) and 1 die per component that can be factored into either side. NAMED CHARACTERS ALWAYS COUNT FOR AN EXTRA DIE.
Regular play continues, but focuses on the complication.
Players use coins to purchase dice for the pools of their choice, or draw upon components to add dice to the pools of their choice. Or both. A player may also call for a resolution on their turn. If all players agree, the dice are rolled and the conflict is resolved.
Dice are 1d10. A roll of 1-5 is considered a Success. The successes of the complication are compared to the TOTAL number of successes in all combined opposing pools. The side with the most successes wins.
In the event of a tie, add up the total number on the success dice for each side. The side with the higher number is awarded an edge die. With the new die as part of their pool, all dice are re-rolled.

When a complication has a winner, that player receives coins equal to the sum of the successes on the dice they rolled. The losing side gains a number of coins equal to the number of dice they rolled.

The winner then uses coins to dictate how the conflict resolved. He may add, remove, restore or change components as desired. In addition, he may use coins to lower the amount of coins the losing side has.
The losing side, in order of the player who earned the most coins, continue narration, using coins to establish other facts within the constrains the winner has created. If the winner spends points to say "Roy is dead", then Roy is dead. If he has not mentioned other characters involved in the complication, then coins may be spent by the losers to say "Well, Roy died, but Bob survived", for instance. Or perhaps "Bob escaped and leaves the scene".

Once each player involved has had their say, the complication ends, and play resumes as normal. Any coins not spent on the resolution are retained. Complications, are the only way to earn coins outside of scene refreshing. This is the key component that makes this a GAME and not just a collaborative fiction exercise.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that's it. 90 pages of manual handily compressed into one forum post. There's slightly more for some more obscure rules or whatever, but really that's the game in a nutshell. If anyone is interested, I'd like to try and get a game of this going this weekend. Let's see what we come up with! (Games would be held in IRC. The nature of the game requires possible interruptions. So posting on forum would become very tedious and result in a huuuuuuuuge topic, as players would have to post line-by-line, and allow sufficient time for interruptions)

15

Tournaments / Pointless Fiction Tourney (Link)

« on: April 11, 2009, 10:54:05 AM »

Because I have not yet posted on site:

Everyone here, (and anyone they might know) is welcome to visit my new tournament page, Pointless Fiction Tourney

This is a site dedicated to a less serious, more plot-powery vote tournament covering all fictional (and some non-fictional) media. The page is currently at the end of the first half of the first round of the first season. So it's very young. As of right now, it's a bit clunky, but this is something I feel will improve with time.

Also, the Archives/Hall of Fame can be found here. Since.... there IS no history, this is a really, really bland page that I'm using largely to experiment with Blogger. Eventually, key players in PFT proper will have dedicated posts here, showcasing their esteemed careers.
EDIT
Now with more obvious links.
http://PFTArena.blogspot.com
http://PFTHistory.blogspot.com

16

Writeup Graveyard / Lyn (vs Edgar)

« on: March 20, 2009, 10:07:09 PM »

As powerful of a warrior as she is, the greatest weapon Lyn has against -this- opponent is a set of legs that go all the way to Ilia. Nevertheless, that sort of tactic is likely beneath the noble lady of Caelin and Sacae. Instead, she'll be relying on her blindingly quick swordsmanship and nimble dodging to get around Edgar, much like any other opponent. The king of Figaro is in a tricky spot... if he fights her with his heavy armor, Lyn's sword knows how to exploit it. If he downgrades his armor, he's losing durability against a devastatingly powerful woman. Either way, Lyn gets to deal more damage than usual, and Edgar is left to say, "I swear, it isn't always like this."

17

Writeup Graveyard / Ryu-Two (vs Myria)

« on: March 20, 2009, 09:55:58 PM »

His predecessor beat Myria. His successor beat Myria. Now, at long last, it is the second Ryu's turn. His show-stopping G. Dragon move usually is enough to clear out his opponents, even in Godlike, but Myria's durability is something even the mightiest of transformations can't blow through that easily. Nevertheless, Ryu's absurd physical durability and infinite healing powers should give him no small advantage over his one-dimensional opponent. Couple that with Ryu's ability to counter even while taking damage, and he has the tools to eventually topple one of Godlike's fiercest competitors--in a year or so.

18

General Chat / There still ought to be...

« on: March 09, 2009, 01:39:05 AM »

Yeah, I'm remaking my "wacky ass ideas" topic, because a friend and I had a really good one for a Final Fantasy game.

All right. The concept is, you play as characters representative of the B or C list classes of the Final Fantasy series, and every character has equal access to a grid of the "main" classes. So everyone can do anything, but they can only do it within the extent of their class.

Ex:
Your dragoon can cast black magic--he just does it from the sky. He'll cast a big spell, but it'll go off a turn and a half later.

Your Swordmage/Sorcerer can do whatever--he just has to set it up first. Need healing? Smack your enemies with the Cure Sword.

Give an Archer steal, and they have 100% success... they just have to aim and....

You have a Berserker, who does more than attack, but he only does it under CPU control, and only to the enemies. Give him "Cure" and he'll randomly demolish undead with it.

And so on.

19

Writeup Graveyard / Loiuse (vs Dorcas)

« on: March 05, 2009, 02:58:05 PM »

Louise and Dorcas were once allies in a great conflict, but all companionship gets left at the door when stepping into the DL arena. Now the two fight in a classic case of Beauty vs The Beast. Louise will have to use her range and vastly superior game of speed and finesse to get past the mighty Dorcas. She should be able to dodge around his axe enough to get in enough shots to fell the gigantic man, and if he tries using his bow, he may as well be committing suicide--Louise is an undeniably better archer. The real fight here is the pending court battle between Louise and the DL. Apparently, her lawyers believe it's immoral to make a pregnant woman fight to the death in a gladiatorial setting.

20

Writeup Graveyard / Hugo (vs Mario)

« on: March 05, 2009, 02:49:53 PM »

Flame Champion Hugo of the Karaya clan returns to wreck the Heavy division, and his first opponent is basically a slower, weaker, less evasive version of himself. Mario may be an Olympic athlete, but Hugo is easily in better physical shape than the paunchy plumber. Even Mario's dreaded fire magic pales in comparison to the might of the True Fire Rune that Hugo wears on his arm. The young Karayan hero probably has this match all sewn up, unless it somehow comes down to a competition of who can jump the highest.

21

Writeup Graveyard / Valvalis (vs Fujin)

« on: March 05, 2009, 02:44:03 PM »

OH NO! It's a boss! Valvalis is tooled almost exclusively to beating PCs and... ...oh, wait. It's a wind boss. What will Valvalis, the Fiend of Wind, possibly do to save herself? It sounds one-sided, but all things considered, Valvalis and Fujin may as well be the same duelist. Both are powerful wind-based bosses that usually rely on crippling the HP of their enemies before their opponents even get a turn. Unfortunately for both girls, neither crippling technique is going to work, so this comes down to a slugfest. Luckily, one of the bosses here tends to go down on the first turn, and it isn't Valvalis.

22

General Chat / WTF?! Questions

« on: February 20, 2009, 06:29:18 PM »

Not to be confused with Nosy Questions, I am using this topic to answer mostly really obscure bits of life. Here we find out the REAL goodies.

1)Who is your favorite Ninja Turtle? Why?

2)Do you like Flurries? (Also called Avalanches, Blizzards, and Concrete) If so, what's your favorite Flurry Innards?

3)What's your favorite movie that is not from your home country, the US, or Canada?

4)YOU MUST PICK ONE: Drowning or burning to death.

5)YOU MUST PICK ONE: A quick and painless death in your sleep, or being the first human being to be compressed into a singularity.

6)Assume God or some other divinity comes down to Earth and tells you that for reasons beyond your mortal ken, sapience must be granted to another species on Earth other than humans, and He asks for your advice. What do you tell Him? Why?

7)Who is the coolest Vampire of all time? Why?

8)How about Robot? Why?

9)What is your favorite lame joke?

10)YOU MUST PICK ONE: Yourself and the [gender] of your dreams are perfect for each other, but not destined to be with each other. One of you has the superhuman ability to know exactly who their match is the instant that they meet, but have no way of convincing the other of this power whatsoever. Do YOU want to be able to recognize them, and risk failing to seduce them, or do you want THEM to be able to recognize you, and risk them being unnoticed?

23

Writeup Graveyard / Wil (vs Cleo)

« on: January 30, 2009, 11:46:57 PM »

The legendary longbowman of Lyn's Legions enters the arena with a steady hand and a sure aim. His opponent is a loyal retainer much like himself. However, the similarities between the two fighters ends there. While Cleo is a temperamental practitioner of sword-and-sorcery, Wil is a cheerful master of Bow-and-Arrow. With no tricks between the two of them, this fight comes down to who happens to be better at what they do. Wil will have to hope his crack shot aim and his excellent strength growth are enough if he wants to advance to the next round.

24

Writeup Graveyard / Volke (vs Eiko)

« on: January 30, 2009, 11:36:40 PM »

Mini? Pah! The tip of an assassin's knife is always deadly, even when reduced to the size of a pin-head. Speaking of pin-heads, the real pin-heads are anyone who thinks it's a good idea to buff or status against a dark warrior of Volke's talents. No matter what silly barrier Eiko places on herself, or what silly restriction she moves against Volke, she has no defense against his deadly blades. There can be no defense against a well-trained assassin, who will strike with precision and persistence. Besides, it's not unethical to kill a child when she's 30 times your own size.

25

Writeup Graveyard / Titania (vs Bartre)

« on: January 03, 2009, 03:27:41 AM »

This match is almost insulting to the beautiful Titania. Her opponent is a crude, ugly idiot, while she is a well-oiled machine of battle, having trained for years to fight with her axe. When brute strength comes against relentless skill, skill almost always wins, and this case is no real exception. While Bartre is no doubt stronger than the Greil Mercenary, Titania possesses more than a little edge in intelligence, skill, finesse, and generally not being Bartre. She should be able to duck around the Warrior's axe attacks once or twice, and that's about all she needs to tilt the damage edge back into her favor. Bartre is not going to be able to figure out what hit him, but then again, Bartre is not able to figure out a lot of things.