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Topics - Veryslightlymad

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26
Writeup Graveyard / May (vs Mel)
« on: December 12, 2008, 07:25:11 AM »
Most little girls around this time of year are pleading with their parents or Santa Claus or Kwanzaa-bot to get them a Pony. And this holiday season, though she's mostly grown up, Mel finally gets her wish! Unfortunately for her, this pony is half-woman, and a crackshot with a bow and arrow. May possesses a deadly aim, and is capable of hitting either Mel OR her annoying puppet between the eyes at twenty horse-sized paces. Though her defense isn't exactly the best in the world, when her opponent is an undersized young lady wielding a hand-puppet, May doesn't exactly worry about what weaknesses she may have.

27
Writeup Graveyard / Zynk (vs Jet)
« on: December 12, 2008, 07:15:01 AM »
While he'd love to jump back up to Heavy immediately, Light Champion Jet must first face the ancient robot, Zynk, in his return to Middle. Zynk possesses a deadly combination of high stats in pretty much every area across the board, essentially trumping the drifter in every category save perhaps speed. And if Jet's evasion begins to be a problem, Zynk can always show off his mighty chest laser, a crowd-pleasing burst of energy that cannot be denied, be it by defense or by evasion. With most of the advantages on his side, this relic of a bygone era is set to put an end to Jet's drifting. Permanently.

28
General Chat / Facial Hair! (Enormous poll)
« on: November 18, 2008, 07:51:32 AM »
I got to thinking about this. Today, since I've been really sick, I spent my time having dry heaves this morning instead of actually shaving. So I'm rocking the perma-stubble. Now, I generally prefer a good, clean-shaven face, but the reaction to my perma-stubble has been alarmingly positive. I'd have thought for sure it looks like shit, but what do I know?

What about you guys? How do you like facial hair on you? On others? What's the IDEAL amount of facial hair for a man to have? Some? None? A shitload? Let's all discuss beards!

29
General Chat / NBA 2008-2009
« on: October 04, 2008, 09:01:01 AM »
First off: Please post if interested in forming a fantasy league. I'm pretty terrible at them, but they're fun and I took last year off.

Well, the off season is more or less over, with the news that the Pacers have sent Jamaal Tinsley to Denver. Why Denver seems to be collecting nothing but bad-reputation players is beyond me, but there it is. Also, it's not a bad move, because Tinsley is more than capable of running the point.

The new season starts later this month; I figured it was high-time I posted my season preview and pre-season guesses at the various awards, et cetera. So first, a team-by-team review and preview.

ATLANTA HAWKS:
~Not too far off from where they were last season, Atlanta enters this one with essentially the same team they finished out last season with.  They get to have Bibby for the whole year, and Bibby might even be healthy this time, so there's a notable improvement off the bat.  The biggest news in Atlanta is that they lost Josh Childress to GREECE of all places. I'd say Childress was basically their sixth man, and he was a pesky defender.  Their replacement, near as I can tell, is Maurice Evans. I'm not sure how the hell he wound up on the Hawks, because I was pretty sure that he signed with the Warriors, too. I like Evans well enough. I think he's tough and plays hard, but I also think he's a downgrade over Childress. Also, nothing can replace the 'fro.
If the Hawks want to improve their team, they're pretty much saying they're going to do it internally this year, and somehow, I just can't see that as being enough in this weak conference, when several other teams have made much more notable splashes in the off season. Josh Smith is a freak of nature, but I don't see much positive signs by way of him maturing and stretching out his game. Marvin Williams, I think, was initially over-valued in his draft, and probably won't develop into a superstar. That leaves Law and Horford. Horford was already really damn solid last season, and if he improves much more, that will be a big, big plus for Atlanta, and he'll be a legit star in the league. I'm not sure how much potential Law has, although Bibby might not be a bad tutor. Rating the Hawks is hard, especially because I never see them play. Realistically, to hold on to their playoff spot, I think they need to get five points a game from either Law or Horford, and I don't see that happening at all.
I still don't think Bibby is a good fit for this team, and while he seemed to help them in practice, I think that's more of a condemnation on the rest of the conference than it is Bibby being -the- guy that puts Atlanta on the map again.
If the entire argument for Atlanta being a decent team is "They took Boston to 7 games" then I think Hawks fans are in for a letdown year.

BOSTON CELTICS
~Congratulations on winning the NBA Championship. Now do it again, because the fans expect you to. The big, bad, 800 pound gorilla in the middle of the room is that they lost James Posey in the off season.  I may not like James Posey the man, but James Posey the basketball player is the kind of player that wins you games, and more importantly, wins you playoff series and championships. Posey was a very important sixth man on this squad. His teammates loved him, and he always had his irritating knack of killing players with defense and hitting just plain bastard threes at the right time to deflate a squad entirely. Clearly not the best player on the team, he's still a VERY strong asset for any team wanting to make a run for the championship. I think his time in Boston and Miami have proven his worth. They also lost P.J. Brown, who is another solid, valuable veteran who knows what the hell he's doing.
The pluses for Boston are, aside from the big three, the room to grow a few of the younger players. Or shrink them, in Glen Davis' case. Watching Rondo in the regular season and in the playoffs, I became shocked that 1)He was drafted so late, and 2)That he was sold from Phoenix, who are just dumbasses. Rajon Rondo is fantastic. He's got some damn impressive creativity with his dribble and his passes, and he's a pretty tough defender. I think he'll be an all-star someday. I don't think it's a stretch for Boston to rely on this guy improving, because I think his ceiling is pretty darned high.
Leon Powe has also shown flashes of being a good big, which is one thing Boston needs, especially with the loss of PJ Brown. I think that loss will hurt Boston only slightly less than James Posey. The rest of their bigs after Perkins are Glen Davis, Powe, and Patrick O'Bryant, who I think Boston only signed because of the "O" in his name, and who will be taking Scot Pollard's valuable bench minutes.
The big question then, is can Boston repeat? In my opinion, yes. The bigger question is WILL they repeat, and I'm less prepared to say "yes" on that one. They still have to deal with Cleveland and Detroit, and in the West, the big teams manage to look even scarier than they did last season, excepting the Spurs. Boston, unless Rondo and Powe make some big leaps, is probably worse. Worse still, they're probably not as hungry as they were last year. (Except maybe KG) There's no doubt that they'll be somewhere at the top of the league, but there'd be some surprise over here if they actually win it all a second time.

CHARLOTTE BOBCATS
~When a team only wins 32 games in a season, you would think they would change more in the off season than just the coach.  Not that changing the coach wasn't a good idea; their old coach was an idiot. The thing with the Bobcats is, while I think Larry Brown might be able to whip some of them into shape, I don't think slacking off is their main problem. I also hear that he doesn't really care for Raymond Felton, which I feel is a serious mistake.
When your big off-season player acquisition is Shannon Brown, your team is either really bad, or really, really good. Charlotte is clearly not really, really good, so someone needs to get off their ass in the front office. There's really not a lot to say here. By not improving their team, they're saying they can make the playoffs with the squad they have, just healthier and wiser. Sean May and Adam Morrison are not the players that will tip this team over the edge. DJ Augustin is not the player who will tip this team over the edge. Larry Brown is a solid coach, but he's not a wizard of arcane and unknowable power.
DJ Augustin would have to be the rookie of the year to make this team a playoff contender. They may be mostly young, but there's really not a lot to work with outside of the solid Okafor, and the more-than-solid Richardson/Wallace combo. My expectation for Charlotte this year is for Larry Brown to lose patience with them, since they're not going to be ABLE to perform to his lofty standards, and for him to do something.... anything.... to pressure management into getting players that he likes. Whether or not this will improve the team remains to be seen, but I'm guessing it's not going to be a good year in Carolina.

CHICAGO BULLS
~Is Derrick Rose good enough to resuscitate the Bulls? Perhaps a better question is if he needs to be. The Bulls last year were not the scrappy, hard-nosed Bulls that I came to love over the course of the last several years, and I think that problem was mostly mental. The players rebelled against Scott Skiles, and then Skiles was replaced with another guy that they seemingly didn't like or trust. Del Negro is an untested coach, and it remains to be seen if he will be a good coach or not. The key for this team, I think, is whether or not he'll give this squad any freedom to run. This can be a devastating team in transition, especially if they can get any of their good defense back to work. I think the coaching staff that the team has this time around will be more conducive to getting their heads in the game, and that could potentially make all the difference.
I like Chris Duhon, but a Derrick Rose/Kirk Hinrich point guard rotation is way better than a Hinrich/Duhon rotation. This squad is still really thin at Power Forward, but these days I think they can get away with it. I also think that some of their younger players will improve, especially if the coach lets them run a little. If Tyrus Thomas can get himself as far as 10/10, which I think is easily within his potential, this can be a strong squad.
Speaking of player improvement, Thabo Sefolosha is one of those players that I think has the potential to have a breakout year. Maybe he will and maybe he won't. What we DO know for sure about this squad is they have gotten a much more creative point-man than they had before. I'm a big fan of Kirk Hinrich, but this is more for his style of play than his playmaking abilities. I think it's more than a little possible that Rose could very well up this team rapidly, within one or two years. This might be a better year for the Bulls, but then again, maybe it just doesn't click anymore.

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS
~Well, Cleveland is an interesting case. This year, instead of LeBron, Z and a bunch of talentless idiots, it's more like, "LeBron, Z, Mo Williams, and a bench without forwards." After giving up Gooden and Smith this team has NO ONE in the power forward spot who can get points. Not a single player. Their best Power Forward option is LeBron. They'll be playing Ben Wallace there again this year, and using him mainly for his D, but let me say this again. Cleveland has no big player who can score points except Ilgauskas. I used to hear this all the time against Chicago, but where is this sentiment in regards to Cleveland?
Red flags aside, there's still something positive to be said about the acquisition of Mo Williams. I always used to say that Maurice was a poor man's Chauncey Billups, and that's not a bad thing to add to Cleveland. Mo has a good ability for sticking points on the board. It's essentially sticking LeBron with a better version (for Cleveland, at least) of Larry Hughes.
Beyond that, I can't think of what else to say about this team. LeBron is good. Really, really good, but he still needs help. I think getting Williams was a good idea, but they REALLY needed to pick up another Big. As it stands now, I think their best option is to run Williams/Szcerbiak/Pavlovic/James/Ilgauskus and hope that LeBron can demolish big men the way he demolishes everyone else. There's always my WACKY idea of running James as the point guard, but that REALLY goes out the window with the pronounced lack of size. There's no one to play forward for this to work. LeBron James will not win the MVP award this season, although he'll be the best player.

DALLAS MAVERICKS
~Trading for Jason Kidd was a huge mistake. I've said it before, I am saying it now, I will say it again. Trading for Jason Kidd was a mistake. They pulled the trigger on a deal that mortgaged the Maverick's future to "win now" and where did it get them? They certainly didn't win more convincingly when he joined their squad. Hell. They didn't even get out of the first round. The Mavs took a huge gamble and lost. Another thing about Kidd was it was said his presence would be a giant help in getting America the Olympic Gold. While he helped quite a bit in the qualifying tournament (That we'd have won anyhow), he was a pretty huge non-factor in the actual Olympics, with most of the important Point Guard work being done by Chris Paul and Deron Williams. So what, exactly, is he supposed to do with this rapidly declining team?
Josh Howard has gone from an inspiring story to insane in just three years. Stackhouse isn't getting any younger. Rick Carlisle might or might not be the right coach for this squad. The good news is Brandon Bass is turning out to be really solid, and Diop came back so the two-headed monster lives again. Unfortunately, I think this is too little, too late.
The Mavericks are done. I am saying this with conviction. They'll either miss the playoffs or scrape in on a bottom spot again. The only fall-guy left is Dirk Nowitzki, and not a damn piece of this is his fault. I still would not even be REMOTELY surprised if he was traded away by the deadline. I also wouldn't be surprised if he gets to be stuck with this ever increasing mess of a team, while fans and reporters blame all the heartache on one of the toughest players in the NBA being soft.

DENVER NUGGETS
~Oh, good god. Where do I even begin.
My first thought is, "This team stinks", but I look at their record, and somehow, someway, they won 50 games last year. Is the West really, truly this stacked? 8 teams won 50 games. That is a mind-boggling number.
This team could compete in the East for a mid-table playoff spot, but they cannot realistically win a championship, and they cannot realistically win a playoff series... even one... in the West. They just can't.
Carmelo Anthony is the most overrated player in the NBA. He has serious attitude problems and plays minimalist defense. He didn't even shine on the world stage this time. Allen Iverson is still extremely good, but I don't think he belongs on a squad with a selfish player like 'Melo. It just doesn't work. Now, picture AI on the Cavs, and I think we'd be seeing a totally different result. My problem with the Nuggets is they have a serious attitude problem as a team, their coach does nothing but make this problem worse, and every single season, they seem to go in with this cavalier, "Hell, let's just add more gunk to this mess and see if it works."
Within the last day or so, they signed Jamaal Tinsley, who fits the team perfectly. That is to say, he can take the point and let AI be AI, and he'll do it really well, but he's BRITTLE and he does nothing but make the attitude of the team worse. Seriously, is their management even paying attention? When you are known around the country as the Denver Thuggets, do you really, honestly expect adding Jamaal Tinsley to your team to be a good idea? On paper, he's everything this squad needs to run nicely. In practice he's just another easily-broken prima donna who will add to the trainwreck of this team eventually collapsing in on itself.
J.R. Smith is probably more talented than 'Melo, and he's coming off the bench. There's no way he will start with AI and Tinsley on the team. He could be a super-sub like Ginobili, and I think he's at least sort of accepting that as his role. Unlike Carmelo and Tinsley and Kenyon Martin and Nene and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH, I still haven't lost hope on J.R. Smith, and I hope that's because I see something in him other than his talent. There is no doubt about how electrifying this young man is. He's ludicrously talented. I stand by my statement that he's better than 'Melo. He plays half the minutes, and gets half the points. And he has to play WITH Melo and with AI as the other guard. It's way easier for Anthony to get his points than for Smith, and yet, their numbers are comparable across the board. The one plus about Smith on the bench, is that he changes the game pretty much every time he enters it. Imagine how good Denver would be if the team took after his and AI's energy instead of Carmelo's lethargy.

DETROIT PISTONS
~So we were promised big changes in the off-season and what did we get?
...........Kwame Brown.
Really, Detroit? Really?
I guess I don't really consider this a bad thing, because Detroit is one of those teams that I think really does have a chance at the Championship, even if they've been a bit stale lately.
Internally, the team is pretty much the same as always, but that's OK because Rodney Stuckey was a hell of a find. I'm not sure how much more Jason Maxiell can improve, but he's a damn solid player that more than earns his minutes. Antonio McDyess will hopefully come off the bench, even if this means starting Brown or starting Maxiell. Amir Johnson might improve, and if he does, that's a hell of a plus for the Pistons.
I think it's high time the team did something about Rasheed Wallace. Luckily, he's talented AND has a huge salary coming off the books, so he brings a lot of flexibility for any team that trades for him.
My wet dream scenario is the Pistons making a run at Dirk Nowitzki, (Wallace/contract, Prince and Stuckey for Dirk and Stackhouse?) because I am absolutely convinced the Mavs are going to nuke themselves soon. If they do it this year, the Pistons have what it takes to make this one happen, but if it happens next year, well, the Pistons aren't exactly big dogs with their roster anyhow. They're incredibly balanced, and they have a really tough squad that excels at doing the right thing. They're as dangerous now as ever.

GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS
~Welp. They lost Baron. Monta Ellis injured himself on a mo-ped, of all things.
There is a silver lining here. Baron was quite a bit older than most of the rest of the team, and I think they could still be dangerous without him, eventually. They're almost certainly missing the playoffs this year, but they got a good player in Magette, they got a tough-as-nails player in Ronny Turiaf, and most of the team still has time to develop.
It's a shame Ellis is injured, because I think he could really shine in this league, and I think his ceiling is that of a more athletic Tony Parker. His Injury and Baron's absence means they have to spend some more time working on guys like Bellinelli, and that can't possibly be a bad thing. Will they lose more games and miss the playoffs? Yes. But this is the sort of squad where, I think just spending a year continuing to gel is a great idea. It could pay huge, huge dividends. I like the team from top to bottom. It has potential. It has passion. It has an identity, even, I think, without Baron. Yes, he made the Warriors work, but I think, in the long run, they're probably better off without him. His age just -didn't match-, and that would mean that, if they ever wanted to get serious, they would have to eventually bring guys in around him. Right now, I think that in a few years, they could very well have a breakout squad on their hands. Right now, though, I think it's time to "tank", assuming giving minutes to develop Bellinelli and Brandon Wright is tanking.

HOUSTON ROCKETS
~I guess the big news with Houston is Ron Artest. At first I thought they had to be crazy, because, who actually adds Ron Artest to their team? Well, then I got to thinking about it, and Ron Artest really DID turn Sacremento around the first year he showed up. And if I'm not mistaken, Rick Adelman was the coach then as he's the coach of Houston now. So Adelman got Artest to work for him. If Artest can work for Adelman on this team, well, they might just be the most stacked team in the league. Houston is a tough defensive team, and Artest simply adds to that. Say what you want about the guy, but he can create his own shot (and sometimes make it a -good- shot if he's got his head in the game) and Houston badly needs someone other than McGrady to make the offense go.
A possibly overlooked signing was Brent Barry. Yeah, he's basically just another long range bomber to add to the team, but the difference is, Brent Barry still has something in the tank, and he's actually pretty damn good at his job.
Houston made a "big splash" in recruiting Artest, but they didn't give up much to get him. This is a team that had an historical winning streak without the services of arguably its best player. Assuming everyone stays healthy... and this might be asking a lot... this team could easily challenge for an NBA Championship. Artest very well could have been that "final piece" to the puzzle.

INDIANA PACERS
~This team is on the rise. Their current squad is actually gellin' together, which is a good thing, and T.J. Ford has defied all odds and managed to be the better end of a big-for-small trade TWICE in his short career. I've heard some worry that the Pacers will be in a lot of trouble without Jermaine, but I'm inclined to disagree, vehemently, on the basis that they very nearly made the playoffs last year, and yet O'Neal only played in half their games and didn't even manage 15 points per game when he DID play. While I'll get to apologizing to O'neal later in my Raptors preview, I'll say here that he simply had nothing more to add to the Pacers.
The one knock on the trade, is that it shows Indiana was willing to finally deal with their problem of having a brittle point guard with a bad attitude by trading their "star" player for... ....TJ Ford... The reality is that Ford's attitude is nowhere near as bad as Tinsley's was, and that he's LESS brittle (although, when he goes down, it tends to be for a while). It should also be noted that, statistically, Ford is an upgrade over Tinsley in every metric). Even Fords much-maligned shooting percentage is somehow WAY THE HELL beyond Tinsley's. This is a serious upgrade.
So. A team that surprised me with how well they were playing basically traded a non-factor to upgrade a position dramatically, AND they added some backups to Ford at the position. AND they drafted some big guys to fill the other hole. AND pretty much their whole team is young and improving from year to year. Hmmm.
The Pacers are going to the playoffs. You heard it from me first.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'll take a small break on that positive note and go to bed. Hopefully, I'll have the rest of my previews done by the end of the weekend. They WILL BE HERE because I still have quite a lot to say. For now, I want to get this posted just so it's out there. Enjoy the read, and here's hoping for a fine 2009 season of NBA Basketball.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS
~Oddly enough, I think they're better this year than last year.  Well, maybe not so oddly. Last year, they didn't have Elton Brand or a decent point guard. This year, Brand is gone forever, and they upgraded to Baron Davis. The lack-of-Brand from last year is replaced with Marcus Camby. I think Camby and Kaman can work together better than Brand and Kaman ever could have. The big question mark is "Where does the offense come from with Magette out?"
Well, I guess a little bit comes from everywhere. Eric Gordon is supposedly the long lost twin of Ben Gordon. Baron Davis should step right in and produce some good numbers, probably inflate everyone else on the team, too, since they didn't have an actual point guard last season. Camby and Kaman don't play the same spots on the floor, with Camby being more of a mid-range shooter, and the Caveman being the mix-it-up sort. If nothing else, they might be the best rebounding tandem in the league. Rebounds!
They even upgraded Smush Parker to Ricky Davis. If you are going to have a player with an inflated sense of self worth on your team, it may as well be someone who can occasionally do something right. With the ultra-stacked West, I don't see the Clippers as a playoff team, but damn it, they'll be better than last year.

LOS ANGELES LAKERS
~Presently, my pick to win the NBA Championship.
I mean, in all honesty, they were SO close last season, and that was with their best player playing injured, one of their rapidly developing big men completely unavailable, and one of their key players adjusting to a new team. This year, none of those things will be a problem.
The Lakers are stacked. Ridiculously so. The only player they really lost going from last season to this one is Ronny Turiaf, and while I'm a big fan of Ronny's, I'd much rather have a healthy Andrew Bynum.  If nothing else, Josh Powell can probably take the minutes from Turiaf without really losing anything big on production.
Just imagine. Imagine what a whole SEASON with this Laker squad healthy can do. This feels bigger to me than the Celtics did at the beginning of last season, and look how that turned out. There's really no reason for me to believe that any of the really important players are going to grow old and die. The bench is pretty darned stacked. Phil Jackson has hinted at starting Trevor Ariza and bringing Lamar Odom off the bench. I think that's a load of horseshit, but when your coach can TALK about bringing Lamar Odom off the bench, your team is pretty damn sexy.

MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES
~Following up on my pick for NBA Champions is my pick for the worst team in the NBA. There's just so much headache going around with this team, I barely know where to begin.
First off, the only NBA Starter caliber player on the entire team is Rudy Gay. Not Mike Conley, not Darko Milicic, not Marc Gasol, and HAHAHAHA at Marco Jaric. From top to bottom, this team stinks. I would not be particularly surprised if OJ Mayo won rookie of the year based entirely off of the rest of his team being unable to put up any numbers. This team is gloriously, hideously, heinously bad. There really isn't an adverb that suggests what's wrong here. Think I'm kidding? Rudy Gay was the only player on the team to average at least twelve points a game last season.
This team.... I mean, dear god. They're like an expansion team. I can't believe they traded Gasol for THAT package. What is their plan? Are they trying to make enough money to make a run at one of the big names next year? Does it really matter?! Would any Basketball player with both talent and the desire to win a ring go to the Grizzlies?
At this point, their best option is almost certainly to draft every single attractive player they can, and hope like hell that one or two of them start to gel together within five years or so, because I really can't see this franchise making it in the league if things don't change, and soon. I will be surprised to see this squad take 20 games.
Oh, and they employed that Iranian guy. That was a pretty cool story. Maybe if Memphis is lucky, he'll turn out to be really good.

MIAMI HEAT
~I think I no longer irrationally hate the Miami Heat.
Oh, according to the NBA Live '09 simulated season, Miami is going to win the East this year. Yes. Dwyane Wade, Shawn Marion, and Micheal Beasley are SO good, they'll win the East without anyone on their team who can competently play as a point guard or as a center. The two most valuable positions in basketball. And they're going to win the entire season.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.
Well, the good news is that Marion will be on for the whole year and has time to Gel. Beasley is still just a kid, so there's probably good odds that Marion won't feel insulted to be in his presence, and will take over the #2 spot on the team. Wade is coming back from injury and looking really, really good. He's bulked up quite a lot, and in a good way that makes him look less breakable than before. In the Olympics, he dominated pretty much everyone. There's a lot to look forward to in Miami.
But winning the East? Hell, even MAKING THE PLAYOFFS? Pipe dreams. I almost want to put this team below Memphis, but then I remembered that THREE players on THIS team managed 12 points a game, and Beasley can probably pull it off, too. Just the same, they have a nice core of players in Wade/Marion/Beasley, assuming they can get Marion to stick around, and Haslem is a really good roleplayer, but god DAMN is he not a center.

MILWAUKEE BUCKS
~Another one of the teams from the East that I feel has improved a good deal. I remember that I wrote in the old topic how Milwaukee basically did everything in the off season that I thought they should. They got a talented slashing type player to compliment Michael Redd (Richard Jefferson), they got an athletic, basket-attacking big man to pair with Bogut (Francisco Elson) and they got a hardnosed coach to instill some discipline in the team (Scott Skiles). That's a pretty good run.
Yes, they lost Mo Williams to the Cavs, but I still think they're pretty decent looking without him. Jefferson is a fairly serious upgrade over whoever the hell they had at this position before, and I think that alone will lead to a big increase in production for the Bucks. Luke Ridnour has, throughout his career, had to put up with some shitty treatment from his coaching staff, and maybe, just maybe, he'll be able to do SOMETHING in Milwaukee. I should hope so. As a past-first kind of guy, he's got 4 scorers when Redd, Jefferson, Bogut, and Villanueva are on the floor, so he damn well better be able to dish out somewhere around 6-8 or so assists per game. Otherwise, I think he deserves every bad word said about him. Personally, I hold some faith. If not, there's still Ramon Sessions, who CAN get that many assists per.
The big question is Skiles. The Bucks last year suffered from a severe lack of team cohesion, and Skiles is known to be a coach that occasionally sparks mutiny in his players. I think if he can get them to buy into his system, there'll be a dramatic improvement in the Bucks this season. Maybe not playoff dramatic, but it seems like they have as good of a shot as anyone in taking that #8 spot in the East.

MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES
~How anyone can think that Memphis got the better end of their little deal is beyond me, because Mike Miller is easily the best player involved. SomethingAwful has this thing against Kevin Love, and they keep making fun of him and his mad outlet passing skillz. Well, ok. If the best thing that can be said about you is you are a fine outlet passer, that's really not a whole lot to look forward to. And Love is supposedly rather doughy. I think fans in the city will actually be fairly happy with how he turns out. By most accounts, he plays hard, aggressive basketball, and the guy seems like a hoot.
Al Jefferson is probably about as good as he's ever going to get, but a reliable 20-10 guy is a pretty fine thing to have, and way the hell more than Memphis has right now. Minnesota can look for improvement from within from Randy Foye (someone that a lot of people figure is due for a breakout season) and Corey Brewer (Someone who.... people like.) I think there's no way in hell they make the playoffs this year, but they should be able to develop some of their youth without too many problems, and maybe next season they can get a decent swing man in the draft or free agency. They're really not all THAT far from a decent team. They'd probably be pretty good in the East.

NEW JERSEY NETS
~Yet another team clearly in the rebuild phase. Or, perhaps more accurately, the "Cutting our budget to hire LeBron James" phase. Which is probably well and good, because they're not going anywhere this year, and they'll have a hell of a lot of cap-space when the time comes, AND a decent draft pick out of the mess. The plus is that of the core of players, only Vince Carter is really the "too old to develop" sort. And he's not even really old. He's been off lately, but I think he could still do some damage when paired with another star and a bunch of young talent.
Back when Jefferson and Kidd were on the team, that was pretty much the whole team. I mean, for the love of Christ, they were starting Jason Collins. JASON COLLINS. Let that sink in.
I really like Devin Harris, and while I'd love to see him running the point on a championship level team like the Mavs of a few years ago, I'll settle for him developing on a team like New Jersey, which MIGHT grow to that Elite level sometime when they move to Brooklyn. Joining him on the "If we develop, we'll scare the bejeezus out of you" squad are Yi Jianlian and Sean Williams. Particularly the latter. The more I see Yi, the more I feel like someone pulled a fast one on us here in the states, because he's just not that good. I guess he's got a lot of athletic potential, but I'd have at least thought he'd shine for China in the Olympics. Such was not the case. Sean Williams, for his part, is a genuine freak of nature that impresses the hell out of me when he plays like he means it. Supposedly, he's on the list of players with "attitude problems" and this is a shame, because this kid has some unfathomable talent, that, if he chooses to develop it, he could be a perennial all-star.

NEW ORLEANS HORNETS
~Another good bet to win the NBA title this year. Their big problem is, as it has been, a lack of depth.  I've heard people freak out about this team possibly going downhill because they lost, get this, Jannero Pargo. I like Pargo, and I wish him luck overseas, but when losing him means your team is suddenly in danger of slipping into irrelevance? That speaks of a depth problem. Unfortunately for the Hornets, Pargo really was the only person on the team I'd want running the offense with Chris Paul on the bench.
Good thing for the Hornets they had the foresight to sign one of the ultimate bench players of today, James Posey. Posey adds some severely tough defense to the team, and contributes yet another three point shooter that can get hot at any time. Posey has this irritating ability to make me think less of a team. I certainly hope I'm not rooting against the Hornets this year. I have strong feelings for this team and for CP3.
Speaking of, did you know the kid was just 23? A lot of point guards don't even hit their best season until their LATE twenties, and he just came off of an MVP type season. That's crazy. This team is a threat to win the title if for no other reason than they have one player with that level of talent.
Unfortunately, we've seen in the past what one or two injuries can do to this otherwise really good team. Given how dangerous they were last year, especially in the playoffs, I can't see any West team playing them easy if someone DOES get injured. The one place I can't see the Hornets is in the middle of the pack for the playoffs. In my mind, they'll either be at the top of the West, or in the Lottery.

NEW YORK KNICKS
~Mike D'antoni is coaching Zach Randolf and Eddy Curry.
Eddy Curry and Zach Randolf will be trying to run as fast as any team in the league. Day in and day out for an entire season. Together.
D'antoni.... oh, man. Well, at least Isiah is out, but are you kidding? This is just not a fit I can see working for this.... "team". The Knicks right now are in a better place than they were last season, but who isn't? I can't even think of things to say right now.
Mostly, I want to see how good Danilo Gallineri turns out to be. I know a lot of New Yorkers booed the guy, but I'm not believing that he was anything but the best player available at the time. Plus, New York DESPERATELY needs someone to play the small forward position, and that's where Gallineri supposedly plugs in.
That's it. That's all my thoughts. After an entire season of being able to say nothing more than "LOL" about a team, I can still only barely manage a paragraph. Damn it, New York. Damn it, damn it, damn it.

SEATTLE SUPERSONICS OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER
~OK. That's the last Supersonics joke. I promise. For now.
The big thing with this team is that they're rebuilding, and they're not even a little afraid to admit it. The other notable thing is, there's really no way I can say they're a worse team than Memphis, so they have that going for them.
OKC picked up FIVE players this year in the draft. They're not exactly keeping their rebuilding plans a secret. In fact, the plan this year is probably to play all the kids together, lose a shitload of games, and then buy some more kids in the next draft. I actually approve of this strategy.
Kevin Durant is weird. He's this spindly little twerp who somehow manages to put up big numbers, and he moves his awkward noodle arms in mesmerizing patterns that somehow manage to get the ball into the hoop. I have never seen a player like Kevin Durant. He's really good, too. A rookie who averages 20 points a game is pretty good, even when he's the focus of his team, and of the opposing teams' defenses. He really came on strong in the later part of last season, so I think things are actually going to get decent for OKC before too much time passes at all.
Jeff Green is also pretty darned solid for a rookie, and the two of them playing together, I think, will establish some kind of an identity. I like the old guys that they added to the team, in Joe Smith and Desmond Mason. These are guys who do things the right way and can teach the youth how to win games. Russel Westbrook should be able to step in and take the other starting guard spot on this team. Why not? He's yet another exciting young player that just might turn into something gold.
If I was an Oklahoman, I'd actually feel pretty darned good about the team I just acquired. I wish the fans of the city well, because it's not their fault that the team owner is a douche who basically stole the team. From their perspective, they finally have someone to cheer for. It's almost poetic how a team that's full of exciting young players moves to a city, where it's an exciting young team.
Please change your horrible jersey design.

ORLANDO MAGIC
~So they lost both Carlos Arroyo and Keyon Dooling in the off season. They picked up Anthony Johnson, so at least they aren't crazy enough to have Jameer Nelson as the only point guard on their team.
Orlando is a really weirdly built team. Rashard Lewis and Hedo Turkoglu may as well be the same guy. They don't have a power forward so much as they have two small forwards who mix it up and like the ball in their hands. Both are pretty skilled at what they do, but when you really look at this team, it sticks out just how undersized they are. Howard is the only legit big man on this team. They become much smaller than average when he leaves the floor. This is somewhat mitigated by how when Howard is on the floor, he is the best big man in the room. Period. When Howard leaves the floor, however, the team is left without any sizable defenders. Right now, there's really no insurance for when Howard gets into foul trouble, or god forbid, injured. Rashard and Hedo can both make their own plays, and are both good with the ball in their hands, but how much can they do defensively to stop, say, a Gasol/Odom or Gasol/Bynum combo?
I sort of get the idea that this is the main reason that JJ Redick doesn't play more minutes. It's obvious that he's got a terrific, pure shot, but he's going to get rusty and lose it if they don't give him time to play. The big knock on Redick is his porous defense, and this has got to be especially bad for the Magic, because if he lets someone blow by him, then Howard has to defend the paint, and a speedy #2 can get him into foul trouble pretty quickly. When Howard's not on the floor, well...
My expectation for this team is for them to win a little under 50 games this year. They'll make the playoffs for sure, barring something REALLY unfortunate, but I can't see them breaking the 50 mark in what I feel is a tougher conference than last year. (Not that this is saying much)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once again, going to bed.

30
Discussion / The 9 Element Homeostatic System
« on: September 29, 2008, 03:38:37 AM »
So the other night I was thinking about RPG element systems and why they bother me. Like, originally, there was Earth, Air, Water and Fire, but RPGs have traditionally added weird things to the list. It got me thinking. WHY exactly, were the original four elements, long before RPGs were invented, Earth, Air, Water, and Fire?

Well, I thought, it stood to reason that the first three were obviously the three states of matter, that is, Solids, Gases and Liquids respectively, and that Fire was a catch-all for energy. Those should be the elements in a system.

I thought "But what about Ice". Under the original system, Ice is what? Water? Earth, because it's SOLID water? Well, no. Arguably it's Earth, but it's COLD because it hasn't got ENOUGH Fire, that is, Heat.

From that concept came the 9 Element Homeostatic System.

What is it? Well, basically, in this system, there are 9 different categories. Each creature would have a stat for each of the nine, let's say a scale ranging from 1-999. Or rather, from 0-100, where zero was complete lack of a trait, and a hundred would be having a limitless amount of the trait.

Attacks would also be measured the same way. For instance, say you have Heat. A 1 on the Heat scale indicates very, very little heat. As cold as things ordinarily come. This would register as strongly aligned with ice. A 99, however, would be nearly as hot as something could be. This would register as strongly aligned with fire.

Finally, all creatures would have a RANGE of stats that represents the environments that they are capable of living in. Suffering an attack within their acceptable range does NO DAMAGE, whereas, suffering an attack OUTSIDE of their range will shift their -base- stat in the direction of the attack. When their base falls outside of their acceptable range? They die.

Example: Say a human has a range of 40-60 hot/cold, and their base stat is 50. If they keep getting hit by fire, they slowly overheat until they die. However, if they keep being hit by LACK of heat, or ice, they still die. If they are repeatedly hit with fire, why would ice be a bad thing, per se? I feel that the "ice" should actually be BENEFICIAL, sliding you back within your scale of normalcy.

Creatures would regenerate slowly, depending on stat, to a rate of normalcy.

The stats are:
MATTER
Solid
Liquid
Gas

ENERGY
Heat
Electricity
Magic

METAPHYSICAL
Soul (Demonic, Holy)
Mind
Spirit (Ki, Will)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Functionally, all attacks should hit as many spectra that make sense. A blast of acid, for instance, ordinarily deals damage of one type, if even that. Under this system, it would be considered... say, anti solid, plus liquid, and minus heat.  The acidity damages the solid state, sliding it to the left. Too little solid? Well, you hardly count now, do you. A human is a dead human, a rock is now dust. What if you're a robot? The acid might not be strong enough to hurt your solid exterior, but how about your delicate circuitry? Shouldn't you still be damaged as though sprayed with basic water? The minus to heat would seem trivial to almost anything, but is it inconceivable to think of a creature that would be damaged this way? a Molten Rock Fiend would have a homeostatic range of heat FAR greater than our own.

Any thoughts? Could a game based off the sliding scale system be fun? What would you change?

31
General Chat / Our Fantasy World
« on: July 09, 2008, 11:11:47 PM »
A moment of inspiration hit me when I was in the middle of a quick bus-time nap today, and this is the resulting idea:

You ever see those big Fantasy worlds that have lots and lots of varying races or creatures or whatever, and it all seems like a mishmash of things, but somehow it all fits? Well, we're going to create one. Me and whoever wants to play. This is a game, sort of. I haven't worked out the exact details yet, but here's the idea:

All of you who are interested in playing, create a sapient fantasy race. You do not create humans. (I will be using humans as a control group) You are an ancient race of whatever, and I will design a world around the folks in it, and cram in a bunch of details. You interact with each other, but you do it through me. You are kept in the dark about the other players' races, so as to be in the dark about their motivations or cultures or whatever. Anyone who is interested simply PMs me with the following details:

RACE NAME: (The.... name of your race. Races are first-come first-serve. You may create a new race of creatures, or you may adopt a preexisting one from fiction. In the case of the latter, the first person to PM me gets it. If you adopt a race from elsewhere, you have no obligation to make them "traditional". Thus, if you're, say, Dwarves, you don't have to live underground or whatever. You might just be dwarflike in appearance/demeanor. Or maybe you create something called "elves" that maybe looks nothing like elves as traditional fantasy dictates (Sort of like the Night Elves in WoW)

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE: (What you look like. I need sizes, shapes, differences between males/females (Unless they're asexual or something), coloration ranges of flesh/scales/hair/feathers/all of the above. Describe your race in detail.)

CULTURE AND IDEAS: (The "personality" of your race. How do they adapt to their location? What's their general outlook on life? What seems to be the big dream of the race? What does their culture value? How do they deal with criminals? ARE there criminals?)

ORIGIN: (Where'd they come from? You may name deities, but be warned that I may decide two of you have a different name for the same one)

LOCATION: Here's the interesting thing: You'll be starting as a fledgling civilization, starting off in any type of location you feel like. You may determine what the physical landscape is like locally and what sort of non-sapient life is in the region. Animals, plants, et cetera. How do you interact with these animals and plants? Do not create anything intelligent, as they will be other players for the time being.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YOU DO NOT NEED TO WRITE A BOOK.
Just like real concepts and ideas developed over time, you don't need to be too descriptive about your culture or location to begin with. Just give me a general FEEL for the race, so I know how to describe it as time goes by. Know that if you decide to make a new development, I'll run with it as soon as I get wind of it.

ANY QUESTIONS AND SUGGESTIONS CAN BE POSTED HERE
I'll answer when I can, and it's just more convenient to have a "FAQ" of sorts.

32
General Chat / RETURN TO THE CAVE OF SUCCESSION GAME(Civ 4)
« on: May 22, 2008, 03:11:52 PM »
So Rat and I decided it'd be fun if we started up a succession game, sort of like in the other topic, only this time, it'd be Civilization 4. For those not in the know, a succession game is a shared playthrough of a game. One player would start play, keep a log of what they did, and then pass the save file onto the next player, who would continue. Obviously, this creates a different sort of gaming experience than simply playing the game normally would.

Civilization 4 is one of many games that can be played this way, and one of the games I know many of us actually have.

No expansions are necessary. Those of us with expansions will just have to play the bare version.

33
General Chat / DL Also Stands for Dream Log
« on: May 16, 2008, 11:34:40 PM »
Cid and I decided it was time to have a dream topic, because apparently people on medication have pretty whacked-out crazy dreams. So now, if you have a dream and don't mind being psychoanalyzed by the DL in general, you may post it here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I had at least three or four separate dreams last night. The thing is, they feel really disjointed, so it's hard for me to remember some of them. Part of why I'm forming this topic is so I can remember these things a little better, but I digress.

It's very strange. I remember one where I was wearing a pulley around my shoulders. It wasn't restricting me or anything, it was open and lying across so the weight was evenly distributed. I think this was connected with the dream before it, but it felt like its own thing. I was running up these god-awfully engineered stairs, because dream engineering is god-awful. These things were like, super thin, winding, twisting, and happily were in the middle of whatever floors they held together. There was no room or alcove or whatever for the stairs. They just sort of haphazardly cut through floors of the building any which way. Sometimes in the hallway, sometimes in a room, no matter what type of room.

So I'm wearing this pulley. I get the idea that I'm supposed to be talking to someone, but I cease to know why I'm wearing this pulley. It has nothing to do with who I'm trying to talk to. (My dreams are really awkwardly crammed together most of the time. So sometimes something from a previous dream will be sort of held-over) I am running up and down these stairs that are cutting through hallways and offices and bathrooms and odd poorly lit rooms that seemed to bother me.

There are other people in this stair-maze with me, and I know I'm not supposed to let them see me, and certainly not with the pulley, but I'm brazen about it. I think "They'll notice me, but if I conduct myself just so, they'll forget about me, even with the pulley. I'm fine".  This whole sequence lasts way longer than it should, and eventually, I give up trying to find whoever it is I was supposed to talk to, and I jettison the pulley onto a local spot on the railing.

(Fake edit: Again, this topic is to hopefully get to where I don't just forget these things instantly like I usually do. This one was fading fast even as I was typing it out. I'm not even sure it was a pulley. It seems more like one of those things that's a couple of heavy metal hooks on either end of a strap. You could certainly make it INTO a pulley, but this lacked the pulley part.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had another dream in here that completely faded when I was talking about the pulley story. Now I can only remember that at least two people got killed by.... robots? Not humans, certainly. The humans were trying to get away from them to freedom, and had to go through a stair-maze like the last dream. (These two transitioned seamlessly. At some point after I lost the hooks, I ceased existing in my dream, and these random people took over. It was more cinematic, here.) The stair-maze was a lot more menacing in this dream, complete with trap rooms that filled with water, and heavy bits of machinery that seemed to serve no fucking purpose except to crush people who took a wrong turn in the stair-maze.

Again, bits are fading, here. The humans didn't get out. The robot-thingies gunned them down and the dream ended when they shot a cute blond woman in the head.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The last dream of the night, I remember a bit more vividly. I was in this weird mall thing that likes to pop up in my dreams a lot. Anyhow, the people I was with were being dicks, so I decided to leave them and play my favorite arcade-style game in the mall.

For some reason, there were arcade machines placed around the mall, and they were in little uncomfortable glass booths. They didn't seem to be large enough to give you the movement you needed to play in, but people still used 'em.

I was a little pissed off that these two girls decided to show up and take the machine that I wanted to play, but I wasn't going to let either their playing already or the uncomfortable booths stop me from having my game. It was that or go back to the assholes I was with. So I crammed myself in the far corner of this booth, which seemed a lot more roomy once I was inside of it, and turned on the game.

I have no idea what the fuck this game was supposed to be. Somehow, it had a way of recognizing who was playing it, but I don't remember giving it a disk, or entering a password, so it must have been something the dream conveniently left out. I -do- know that characters had levels.  The guy I was controlling was level 5, and the girls were each playing a level 10 character, and the one even had to pick between two level 10s. They seemed hardcore.

Anyhow, for some reason it upped the difficulty based on who was playing it, which meant everything was geared for two level tens and a level five.  The girls went off one path and did their own thing, and I was running my guy across this big ledge, pretty well easing my way through the level, despite being horribly, horribly underlevelled for a game with these two girls.

Everything was fine and jim-dandy until the boss of the level decided to show up. It was this big spider-mech thing that decided it wanted none of the girls and would fight only me and me alone. So I'm fighting this enormous fucking boss that's like, fifteen levels too high for me, and I seem to be winning. But when I knock it down to half health, it starts going insane, and I realize there's no way I can beat it alone. I look to see what the two girls are doing, and they're dinking around with the riff-raff enemies, completely oblivious that there's a giant spider-mech thing that's having its way with me. I scream at them to "Help me!" but eventually my guy dies and I leave the booth in disgust. I felt impressed I could hang with a boss that much higher than myself, but I really wanted to beat it, too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's all the dreams I remember from last night. That last one probably looks really weird if you go Freudian. Sorry the writing is disjointed or whatever, but I'm basically racing against time to get them out before I forget. It's very stream-of-consciousness. Or unconsciousness. One of those.

Anyhow, filfre to post your own dreams. Even if they're boring or whatever. Let's see if writing about dreams does.... uh... anything. Maybe we'll amuse each other. Whatever.

34
Writeup Graveyard / Gobi (vs Flonne)
« on: April 04, 2008, 08:06:08 PM »
Ask 100 people on the street who would win in a fight between a little girl with a stick and a giant fish-man with a spear, and at least 95 of them will tell you the fish-man takes it with ease. Four of them will wet their pants in terror at the thought of a giant fish-man, and one of them always has to be contrary. The same principle works here. The only difference is, the little girl with a stick is actually an angel-in-training who happens to be over a thousand years old and could maybe shoot lasers, and the fish-man is... Gobi. Energy attacks aside, Flonne still isn't exactly threatening, so Gobi should be able to eek out a victory for the pride of fish-men everywhere.

35
Writeup Graveyard / Magus (vs Citan)
« on: April 04, 2008, 07:51:25 PM »
Dr. Uzuki is certainly not the opponent Magus felt like fighting on his return to the ring. The annoying swordsman with a fake name has the elemental skills, speed, and healing to nullify Magus' greatest asset, the mighty barrier. Indeed, even trying to defeat Citan in a battle of attrition is probably some kind of suicide--hardly a suitable strategy for the clever warlock. Its a good thing Magus is nearly as versatile as his opponent, because his little-used PC form may have the answer to this problem. It won't be the most elegant of strategies, but Magus can simply banish Citan to another dimension through the use of his Black Hole spell. Sometimes a simple solution is all a complex problem needs.

36
Writeup Graveyard / Malik (vs Yuna)
« on: April 04, 2008, 07:35:38 PM »
The Duelling League's premier blur returns this week and squares off against one of its most decorated champions. Luckily enough for Malik, Yuna happens to be his favorite type of opponent, the kind that's vulnerable to status. Admittedly, she happens to be a bit faster than the hoi pallois Malik is used to dealing with, but the general concept remains the same. The prophet simply needs to spread some misery around with Tri-Injury, and Yuna will lose all of her relevant skills, even her healing and unstoppable Aeons. All that will remain will be a girl with a staff, and no possible way of hitting Malik.

37
Writeup Graveyard / Peter (vs Canas)
« on: March 21, 2008, 05:47:53 PM »
Less important than the Middle Championship up for grabs this week is the clash of ideals. As a holy bird and servant of the God Pacalon, Peter sees Canas' choice to use dark magic as something of an abomination. Mere mortals like the druid cannot know the primal dark powers they wield as intimately as Peter does, nor should they. However, the legendary phoenix is aware that Canas himself is a good man, albeit misguided. Thus, Peter will offer Canas the chance to surrender peacefully and recant his decision to use the dark magics. Barring that, there's always the option of sending the tiny man flying with a mighty flap of wings and coincidentally picking up a Title.

38
Writeup Graveyard / Demi (vs Kharg)
« on: March 07, 2008, 10:33:23 PM »
Fresh off an easy win against Belcoot, Demi squares off with the more overtly dangerous Kharg. This opponent possesses a much wider variety of attacks to test the android, but he is not without his weaknesses. Kharg is notorious for burning through his spirit stone reserves very quickly. If he cannot end the fight immediately, Demi can pace her way to a victory with her many Recovers. More importantly, if she can get a Barrier up in time, it's certainly possible that she could very well survive even a blast from the Big Owl. Kharg may have many tricks, but eventually he'll run out, leaving Demi in command of the fight.

39
Dun dun DUN!

So yeah. Scanner is readily available. I have oodles of free time. Let's get some caption contest juices flowing.

The rules are simple. You submit to me (via board PM) one sample of text that I will insert into this image. I pick the one I like the best and that person "wins". Their panel is featured with the text (very poorly) replaced. Then we do it again. It's simple, quick, and quite a lot of fun.
Please try to fill all balloons as I am terrible with photoshop and cannot replace panels.
~~~~~~~~~~

What in the heck is going on here?! (Image taken from Ultimate Spider-Man 110. Art by Mark Bagley


DAREDEVIL:

40
General Chat / Let's get a MnM system going (P&P RP discussion)
« on: February 23, 2008, 04:39:20 AM »
So we've been kicking the idea around in chat to play some Mutants and Masterminds. This is a well-designed superhero themed RP system.

The idea is, instead of structured groups that meet all the dang time, people who want to can come up with characters and plot them out, and they'll exist in this happy little co-GMed universe and go on missions when it's convenient to the players. That is, you will not have to meet every week or whatever. Action will mostly be for small groups of characters who go on individualized missions, but there's nothing that prevents us from mixing and matching. The setting lends itself to that very nicely.

So yeah. Myself and several others were talking in chat. I'm on new and exciting medication right now, so I am drowsy as all get out, and maybe someone who's a bit more coherent can help flesh this out. It's a good idea and everyone should join the festivities.

41
Writeup Graveyard / Bright (vs Shiba)
« on: February 22, 2008, 06:16:09 PM »
Sure, we talk about the intelligence of lesser creatures such as dragons. Sometimes we even talk them up into great and noble creatures. With dragons, particularly, we sometimes imbue them with intelligence not just equal to our own, but monumentally greater. Consider, then, the case of Bright. Bright is the proud draconic steed of Futch, and supposedly, he is a clever beast indeed. It would be all too easy to get trapped in the web of personification. Yes, Bright is clever for a dragon, and yes, he served alongside Shiba valiantly in the Second Fire Bringer war. The sad simple truth, however, is that Bright wasn't fed for a day and a half before the match, and lizards is good eating. Sure, you could hope for a world of puppy dogs and rainbows where Bright won't eat his good friend and war ally, but smart money for this match is bet on the Dragon.

42
Writeup Graveyard / Thanatos (vs Klein)
« on: December 22, 2007, 03:48:15 AM »
This week, the malignant Thanatos finds himself faced off against a second-rate magician, Klein. While the mighty Dark Liche practices some of the oldest, purest, blackest magics, his opponent actually mixes his spells together on the fly from raw materials. Worse, almost none of Klein's alchemical spells call for the blood and tears of the innocent or the sweat and venom of the iniquitous. Perhaps one day if he has been a good little mage (or more precisely, if he hasn't been) Klein will grasp the meaning of true power. As it stands, any petty defense the alchemist tries raising with his inferior magics can be dispelled. Klein can mount no lasting defense against the Liche's true magic like Dark Gate, or natural advantages like Leaden Glare.

43
General Chat / NBA 2007-2008
« on: December 21, 2007, 02:53:02 AM »
Well, with the new forums going up, and several months of play, it's time to stick in my new NBA topic, complete with a run-down of every single team.

Atlanta Hawks ~ Are +.500 right now. A sign of them maturing? For the most part... probably. Horford probably doesn't hurt them too much, either. They've got a slew of talented guys, so it was probably only a matter of time before they developed into something, but... eeh... I'm not sure they're going to be a big threat in the East anytime soon.

Boston Celtics ~ Ok, they're a little better than I expected. They're far from invulnerable, but it's sick how good they are. I've been watching their games, and I've learned a few things. 1)Eddie House is a better pickup than I thought he would be. 2)Rajon Rondo is really, really good. I'm surprised. Obviously he has his flaws, but for a Sophomore player he's got loads of talent. I know why Boston entrusted him with the starting point guard spot. The team is in no danger with him running the point. Bench depth is probably an issue, but the starting squad is flat-out sick. Ray Allen needs to be "The guy" in crunch time. This is just a percentage thing.

Charlotte Bobcats ~ I like watching this team play. They can't seem to win games yet, though. What they need is a good strong guy up front with Okafor. Nazr is not that guy. Still, I love a lot of their young talent, and personally, I think when they "get it", they'll be way better than the Hawks will be. (Not that this says much.)

Chicago Bulls ~ Notice that they're slowly creeping back up into contention. They're a pretty shitty team in the first part of the season, usually. They're going to be fine. I predict that, not only will they make the playoffs still, they'll do it with relative ease and make in the neighborhood of 5-6 again.

Cleveland Cavaliers ~ FUN FACT. If the playoffs were held today, Cleveland would be in them, despite having a 11-15 record. Note that they are the only losing team in the top 8 in the East. Honestly, I suspect Chicago will turn it around before Cleveland does. LeBron is good, but he's really not -that- good. (Hint: No one is.) He needs a team. (NOTE TO DAVID STERN: You are an idiot for thinking LeBron would raise ratings for the finals. Yes. LeBron is good. But watch a Cleveland game. Watch one. Tell me with a straight face that there is a more boring team to watch in the entire NBA. Maybe Miami. OH WAIT you think they're good too because they have Shaq and Wade. You want a highly rated finals? Pray for Boston versus Dallas.)

Dallas Mavericks ~ Record is wonky. Avery Johnson is dicking around with the team too much, but I'm still not convinced they're anything but the best team in the West. Once they remember that, yes, Dirk is the best guy on their team, they'll quickly resume dominance. Devin Harris is fantastic.

Denver Nuggets ~ Glad to see Iverson getting more love than 'Melo right now because he's... uh... better. Kenyon Martin's been doing OK. I still feel like they're under performing. On paper, this team is really good. Even their defense per 100 possessions is good. In practice, I don't know what the hell is off. (For one, they allow way the hell more than 100 possessions...) Well, hey, they'll at least make the Playoffs.

Detroit Pistons ~ I'm pretty sure certain they got the better end of the Nazr deal. The Pistons need to utilize Prince more, but other than that, they're a pretty damn fabulous team. I said a few months back that they were my pick to win the Championship, and until I'm proven wrong, I'm probably going to stick with that idea until the bitter end. I like Afflalo. If Stuckey is even better then... well, the Pistons have a pretty bright future, too. This is just an excellently built franchise.

Golden State Warriors ~ Stephen Jackson is way the fuck better than I thought he was, and the Warriors absolutely need him. Kelenna Azubuike has a weird name but boy, howdy can he play Basketball. Marco Belinelli, who I am still convinced will be awesome, cannot yet play a lick of defense. It's a shame he's under Don Nelson who will NEVER teach him how to play it. Baron Davis realized at some point that he has an awful, awful lot of talent. This is probably the most exciting team in basketball. It's nice to see them do well, too.

Houston Rockets ~ Suck and need a point guard. I'm not convinced Rick Adelman knows what the hell he's doing. There is no way this team is as bad as they have been playing. None. I feel BAD, because I love Yao and McGrady and Shane Battier. I really hope they figure out something to make this franchise better, because right now it's just some kind of unfathomable trainwreck with a clusterfuck of awful at Point. Jesus.

Indiana Pacers ~ If Rick Adelman is fucking over Houston, then Jim O'Brian is some kind of freaky genius for making this franchise pretty damn good again. I can't stand Jermaine O'neil, and Troy Murphy can get bent. They traded away Stephen Jackson and I think we can all see how good he is by watching the Warriors with and without him. Yet, here they are, doing swell in the East. Why? Well, we all knew Danny Granger was good and would get better, so there's that. The real surprises here are Jamaal Tinsley and Mike Dunleavy Jr. This is why I think O'Brian deserves a lot of credit. Because, lets face it. These guys have always had talent, but neither one of them has really decided to use it ever. O'Brian has somehow managed to make both of them productive, and if Tinsley doesn't get his head blown off, this team looks to make the playoffs which, a few months ago, I'd have never predicted. So that said, way to go Pacers.

LA Clippers ~ Fun fact: When Elton Brown isn't around to use his freaky length to grab rebounds, Chris Kaman grabs an awful, awful lot of rebounds. You know what would make my damn year? If the 2008 All-Star game starts Yao Ming at center, and then brings Chris Kaman off the bench at center, COMPLETELY IGNORING AMARE STOUDAMIRE. Seriously. It'd make my whole damn year. (Kaman deserves it more, too) But given that they played Tony Parker at guard last year instead of Deron Williams, I'm not holding my breath. It's hard to say that a team that's 9-15 is overperforming, but there you have it. I really like the Clippers, and I like how they're trying to put this team together, but god DAMN do they have awful luck. It's unbelievable.

LA Lakers ~ Kobe isn't going anywhere. The Ariza trade was a very solid move. Andrew Bynum is looking about as good as he looked at the beginning of last year, which is "very!". If his conditioning holds up this year (I'm convinced he fell off last year because he was worn down. I don't think he expected to play eight minutes a game, let alone start at center.), the Lakers are a very dangerous team. I love their bench to pieces, and they remain one of my favorite teams to watch. Right now, they're 4th in the West, which'd translate into playing Denver in the first round. Will they fall off? Well, there's not a lot of teams which could rise up to make them fall off. There's Utah, and... uh.... that's about all. They'll be right with New Orleans and Golden state again, only all three teams will be a step higher than before. Sorry Houston, but you got raped.

Memphis Grizzlies ~ They suck, but I'm not sure why they suck. I haven't really followed the Grizzlies this season at all, (TV makes this impossible). I think I heard Conley was injured. Yeah. That'd do it.

Miami Heat ~ I wanted to laugh at them so badly, and I still will. But first I want to show some respect to Alonzo Mourning, who might have played his last basketball game and ended his stellar career with an anticlimactic injury. He's out for 6 months they say, and he was going to retire, so I guess that's it for Zo. Gourry, are the Heat allowed to buy him out and then use the money to hire a player without going against the cap? Because they are positively fucked if they can't. Mourning is one of their best players and a major reason (more major than Shaq) why they won the championship a few years back. The Heat really, really suck already. They will suck worse without 'Zo. I loathe the fact that they televise so many goddamn Heat games when they suck so bad. They are up there with Cleveland for "most boring team to watch". I wanted to say that it'd be nice next year when they don't televise so many damn Heat games, but unfortunately, they'll get good draft position and pick up some young kid who, along with Wade, will ensure that I have to watch this dreadfully boring goddamn franchise for another 10 years.

Milwaukee Bucks ~ I don't understand what this team is trying to do. I think they drafted Yi so that they'd make some money off of China. He's decent, but he's not at ALL what the team needed to draft. They're.... eh. They're meaningless. They might be the most pointless team in the NBA. There's not even a story here anymore. There's no drama. They're not even that bad. They're just a pointless, boring team. Also, they shouldn't have traded T.J. Ford.

Minnesota Timberwolves ~ See, THIS team, they're bad enough to be interesting. I mean, they are truly, horribly bad. I predict they will have more losses than the Boston Celtics have wins at the end of the season. On the plus side, they might draft someone who projects to be a really good player. Also, it is impossible to look at a picture of Corey Brewer and not crack a smile.

New Jersey Nets ~ In theory, they're competing with Cleveland for the last playoff spot. In practice, they're going to lose out to Chicago. This team is............ you know, I don't get it. They have Krstic back. I don't see why they're so much worse than last year. Josh Boone is monstrously bad at shooting free throws. He makes Ben Wallace look good. (Ben is shooting 25% more than Boone is. Holy shit.) Why the hell is Jason Collins still starting? What does he do? Why did he get drafted so far ahead of his identical twin? Jason Kidd is too old to be traded for anything he's worth and should probably accept the fact that he's not going to get a championship ring. I'd feel bad for him if he wasn't an asshole. (Actually, come to think of it, this whole team is full of assholes. I'm glad the Nets suck.)

New Orleans Hornets ~ Bet the Bulls wished they had Tyson Chandler, still. I don't have a lot to say here. I knew last year they were a good team, but they got themselves injured something terrible. Hopefully, I'll actually get to watch them play when they make the playoffs.

New York Knicks ~ LOL

Orlando Magic ~ WHY DID YOU TRADE ARIZA? Beyond that, they're slipping now that teams are taking them seriously. They have to do something. Also, Jameer Nelson is a fucking idiot. He does not deserve to be starting on an NBA team, and he is batshit INSANE. I mean, totally freaking LOONEY if he thinks he's remotely as useful as Devin Harris.

Philadelphia 76ers ~ Do I have to talk about the Sixers? No? Moving on.

Phoenix Suns ~ You know, when they fail to win the championship get to the finals AGAIN, they're going to be pretty pissed. Stoudamire can't defend the paint to save his life and is not an all-NBA 1st team center. Fuck him and his goddamn attitude, too. I'm just glad the media loves the Celtics right now, because the Phoenix hype was annoying the hell out of me. Also, their tightwad owner is an asshole who is singlehandedly destroying a very good franchise.

Portland Trailblazers ~ Apparently, Brandon Roy is really good at basketball. This team makes me really excited. They're doing decently -now-, and they haven't had the softest schedule, either. Aldridge has been injured, and they're still doing this well. No Zach Randolf. This team impresses the hell out of me. They have a bright, bright future. The owner and GM of this franchise should be a role model to everyone else. This is how you build a goddamn team.

Sacremento Kings ~ You know, assuming they get a good kid in the draft, they could be a whole lot worse than {x} good young player and Kevin Martin.

San Antonio Spurs ~ I think jerseys are tacky and not good clothes at all. But if you put a gun to my head and said "You have to buy and wear an NBA Jersey" My Jersey would be Manu fucking Ginobili's. Manu Ginobili is a great, great basketball talent, and the only reason he's not a huge name in -this- country is because he gladly defers to Tim Duncan. Hate all you want, but I'll be the last one laughing when Ginobili is inevitably inducted into the Hall of Fame (He'll get there on his enormous foreign success record). As for the Spurs themselves? Once they heal up and it's summer, look out. They're always dangerous.

Seattle Supersonics ~ Their owner is a douchebag. Kevin Durant needs better shot selection. Uh.... well, we'll see in like, six years.

Toronto Raptors ~ Sucks that Ford keeps getting injured, but this is a good team anyhow. I don't get people who figured they'd fall out of the playoff picture.

Utah Jazz ~ What happened in Utah? This team is really good but their record sucks.

Washington Wizards ~ This team is better than you think. They failed last year because Arenas AND Butler got injured. Arenas is flashy, so what a lot of people seem to forget is that Caron Butler is very, very good. They started slow, but they're +.500 now, and I think they might be able to stay there. With Jamison out too, it's really hard to say. I'd really like to see them make a playoff run with all three guys healthy. I'm not convinced LeBron could beat them last year.

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