Season 31, Week 3
Myria
(Breath of Fire Series)
 
High irony can best be described as a lowly minion facing its creator. While this isn't a new event in Godlike, it's certainly funny enough to be worth nothing. It's also the only fact that's interesting about this horrficially one sided slaughter. Myria possesses large advantages in durability, speed and offense, let alone having the literal power to create and wipe Deathevans out of existance with a mere wave of her hand. Maybe she'll only severely beat him, if her dishonorable son entertains her with some poetry. Considering the savage beating she just handed out to the Profound Darkness, this looks highly unlikely.

V

S

The son shall surpass the mother and destroy her. It's something of an old prophecy, and Evans has been brushing up on his ancient mythology just for this fight. All the classics have been learnt, he knows all the tricks, he knows all the moves and the steps in this dance, and Mother does not stand a chance against this wayward child. Both have massive durability, but when it comes down to it no one can stand up against the might of Evans' almighty Bone Laser. A crushing defeat shall ensue and, as Myria weeps like a child, Evans will take his rightful crown as the superior and future ruler of your lunch box and refridgerator.


Monkeyfinger
"Give it all you've got, son." The hydra called across the ring to her tentacled demonlord spawn.

"Yea... this shall be a friendly bout, yet nonetheless one that shall be remembered throughout the ages." St. Evans replied.

Before the match could get underway, however, Myria spotted a familiar face in the audience. A blue face. With mouse ears and whiskers. Myria's vision went red.

This creature that attacked her a week ago looked friendly enough right now. It made sense. It didn't have anything personal against Myria. It had merely been summoned to fight her, and by a master it had violently severed its ties with.

That didn't matter.

No one knew the art of holding a grudge like Myria. If an entire race of dragons could learn that the hard way, so could some freakish merger of 3 vile beings.

"What could the problem be? You seem... distracted." queried Evans before turning around to follow Myria's line of sight...

"YOU." He glared evilly at Hello Rinarill, up in the bleachers.

"Nyaa~~?"

"I will rend the flesh from your bones; killing you is only a start..." Evans blasted through the barrier separating him from the audience, and made his way through shrieking, fleeing spectators toward his prey. (This action also got him disqualified via ringout, of course. Myria was declared the winner. Not that she noticed, as she was busy advancing in the same general direction as Evans.)

">_>?"

There will be songs written about the beauty of the pain I shall SUUUFFFFEEEERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!1" the demon lord shrieked as his Death spell washed harmlessly over the cute little being of godlike power, to be countered with the sort of beating one would expect from an auto-hasted, 100 ultima to stength, 100 triple to speed FF8 character.

Myria gaped. It was still as powerful as ever. Then, she steeled herself up.

"I will settle this with you."

"Rinarill!!!"

It skipped over playfully to Myria and hugged her.

"GET OFF OF ME!... So. You enjoy crushing both myself and my progeny, and you think it's all play, do you? Well, if you want to play with me again, come back here to this arena in three days. I'll give you all the fun you could dream of..."

Myria's worst nemesis since the line of blue-haired Ryus emitted a bubbly giggle, hugged the monstrous hydra again, and ran off.

No more playing fair. "I can't beat that thng one on one, and no one else could. But I can get allies...." Myria dragged the broken body of Evans off with her to be patched up. They'd both get payback.

Myria: 72
Evans: 20

khaki_knight
As it turned out, Evans was the first to the arena. Bedecked in his pseudo-messiah form, he eerily floated towards the center of the arena, hands carefully folded and tucked into his robes.

Upon reaching his position, Evans dramatically threw his arms up, silencing the murmuring crowd. "I am Evans!" he shouted in a suitably grave voice.

Thereafter, assisted by a carefully managed pyrotechnics display, Evans transformed, his arms elongating into dark wings, four massive horns sprouting from his head, a hideous mouth bedecked by hellish red fangs taking shape... Suffice it to say, the crowd was suitably impressed.

With his transformation complete, both he and the audience in the arena turned their attention to the opposite entryway, awaiting Myria's entrance.

After about a minute, she entered, and Evans and the entire crowd did a double-take: she had, for reasons unknown, chosen her young girl form. This led to great murmuring and consternation in the crowd.

Myria, however, took no notice, and proceeded to march (float?) directly to Evans. Then, without warning...

*SLAP*

"You're grounded!"

Myria then proceeded to forcefully shove the now speechless arch-demon from the ring, follow him out, grab him by his ear (horn?) and scold him profusely ("how dare you presume to raise a hand against your mother, why, when I was your age we respected our elders and--") as they left the arena.

...Which all just goes to show, that no matter how old, impressive, or powerful a dark blasphemy against god you are, your mother will always still treat you like a child.

Also, watching a little girl pimp-slap an over-sized demon *never* gets old!

Lurking Registered User
"Behold! The true face of evil! Deathevans!" shrieked the horrible monster in the center of the ring.

The weird part was that it was Myria doing the shrieking.

Then she brought out the baby photos...

"Cut it out Ma! No, don't look!" yelled the horrified Evans.

"And this is widdle Deathevans when he was six! He was sooo hard to potty train, as you can see!" continued Myria, oblivious to her son's mortification.

"Wow!" exclaimed ExDeath, "I've never seen someone *actually* die of emmbarrassment before!"

Lavos howled in agreement, as did Evil Gaia, while Myria smugly left the ring.

Meanwhile, Sephiroth, Orlandu, and pretty much everyone in the audience who wasn't some sort of eldritch horror from beyond continued to dig at their eye sockets in attempts to pull out their own brains.

Barbuary
well Evans even your magnificant Poetry skills will save you from the ass whooping you'll get from your mother

tehexile@gmail.com
go evan!