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Sephiroth vs Kefka
RadLink5 Sephiroth stepped into the arena, confident that he would win. He was after all the "Perfect Solider". Of course he wanted to be safe from any rigging of the contest, so he hired mercenaries to guard over any possible places where an attack on Sephiroth could be made. Upon entering the arena, Sephiroth noticed Kefka had a grin on his face. Sephiroth wondered what was making Kefka smile at a time like this but none-the-less charged towards Kefka for his opening attack. He was about to strike when Vergil appeared from Kefka's side of the arena (the side of the arena that the mercenaries didn't feel a need to guard due to the horrible smell of Kefka's gym socks in the locker room) and smashed into a surprised and stunned Sephiroth. "Oh, I probably should have told you, the 5 people you beat in a row so far got permision to join the fight." Kefka said grinning ear-to-ear as Ultimecia, Zio, Yunalesca, and Chaos all appeared in front of Sephiroth. "I won't fight a 6 on 1, GUARDS, Kill the weaklings!" Upon hearing Sephiroth's order his mercenaries began a fight with Sephiroth's victims. While Kefka was enjoying the mass havoc, Sephiroth thought of a plan. He snuck around the crater that was his guards getting beat on by Godlikes and went around Kefka. Kefka was to busy watching the destruction to notice Sephiroth standing right behind him readying his sword for one final attack. Sephiroth lifted his sword into the air, preparingto smash it down and then... "LIGHTNING BLADE!" Sephiroth was lying unconcious on the ground. Behind him, in the shadows, was the Swordsman who had hit him. Kefka, who had been faking his ignorance to Sephiroth being right behind him, turned around and chuckled to the Swordsman "Excellent work! You waited for him to let down his guard and focus all his attention to his attack so you could finish him in one blow just like I told you. I love it when a plan comes together." "Indeed. Using the people Sephiroth had beaten as a way for his guards to not notice me coming in was a clever tactic." "Yes, now let's see if everyone calls me crazy! Wha ha ha! WHAHAHAHAHA!" Kefka said hysterically. "Not to interupt this moment of crazed laughter but about my payment." "HAHA..haha...ha?' Kefka's smile slowly turned into an expression of horror "............. Your....... payment?" "Yes." Kratos said stepping out of the shadows "You said for doing this I would be in the tournament next season." Kefka looked around frantically "Erm... well, yes, about that... I can't really give you a spot in next season's tournament." Kratos had an angry expression on his face as he drew his sword. Kefka, now sweating like a pig, said with a wavering voice "Now let's not do anything rash. We can work this out. How about I make up for your payment with a box of Twinkies?" "SUPER-DEMON-VICTORY-LIGHTNING-THRUST-CANNON!!!" Kratos shouted as he unleashed a huge combo on Kefka, killing him. The judges looked at each other with shocked expressions. "Well now they're both dead. Who wins?" said one. "Well neither of them killed each other so we can't determine it like that..." said another. "Well Sephiroth DID die first." said the last judge. "Yeah," said the first judge "I like that logic. Now let's go to lunch." So it was decided, Kefka was the winner. The moral of the story? Keep smelly gym socks in your DL locker room. Sephiroth: 36 gasman
Profound Darkness vs Kuja
Jo'ou Ranbu Despite appearances, the Profound Darkness and Kuja were good friends. Friends that sit down in front of a cafe and talk about things, that watch movies together and spend friday nights in their nighties talking about men while polishing each other's nails and wearing guacamole beauty masks. Of course, that was all before the DL existed. And it all started with a rather disasterous experiment Kuja did on PD, one that no one really knew about. Even Kuja probably forgot about that. The Profound Darkness, however, didn't. When she appeared in the arena wearing a one-way bikini with a blonde wig and enough makeup to make Kefka look clean - along with a mile-long pink scarf - all of the spectators knew they were ready for something rather disturbing. The last words Kuja heard before having his body shredded by the Profound Darkness's dark tentacles was "YOU SAID I LOOKED PRETTY AS A TRANNY! I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!!!". Friendships don't have to end for powerful reasons. And they can end in a rather strangely sexual and murderous way. Profound Darkness: 42 
Ash Lambert vs Ryu
superaielman There's many ways to thwart Ryu4. Lots of HP, healing, status immunity.. however, while Ash has claims to all of those, he forgot the final trick to beating Ryu. Showing up to the fight and taking him seriously. Calling him the bigger godlike failure than Roger Bacon was mistake one. Laughing at his offense then deciding not to heal after Ryu starting chipping while in Kaiser was mistake two. Deciding to drop his guard and yell "Give me your best shot!" as Ryu was charging Kaiser breath was both mistake three, and worth a long stay in the DL infirmary afterwards. Ash Lambert: 29 
Indalecio vs Fou-Lu
superaielman Indalecio had been studying long and hard over the DL's computer base, searching every posting and research note, for a way to kill Fou-Lu. Finally, after days of searching, Indy found one word that summed up Fou's weakness. Fire. So when the Dragon God walked into the arena, Indalecio let out the foulest, meanest, nastiest comments he possibly could. While the insults were brilliant, they did nothing to Fou-Lu. The hapless Indalecio, although a great fighter, had gotten too absorbed in the internet in his search, and his mind was still on insult war with Cyril from a few days back... Well, let's just say that Dark Wave tought Indy the error of his ways. Indalecio: 30
Lazlo vs Nina Wyndia
Meeplelard If there's anything RPGs taught me, its this: Heros, especially silent ones, have certain morals, one of those morals is "never hurt the cute little mage girl under no circumstance." On the otherhand, said Cute Little Mage Girl tends to do whatever the hell she wants, which is often leads random physical punishment to take out her anger on said main. ...I fail to see why this case should be any exception. Lazlo: 25 
Dryst vs Jenova
superaielman Jenova is an alien creature who seeks to destroy the world by summoning a meteor. Dryst is a twisted leader who seeks to destroy his enemies by dropping a meteor on them. Dryst's Meteor wrecks battlefields, Jenova's wrecks worlds. Methinks that Dryst is outmatched, here. Dryst: 13 
Surt vs Kyra Tierny
SageAcrin Let's see. Surt has fire magic. Kyra has fire magic. Surt has high durability. Kyra has high durability. Surt has power raising magic. Kyra has power lowering magic. Surt has a powerful physical technique, in Flare Strike. Kyra has powerful healing. Surt's powerful technique can be used forever. Kyra's healing....cannot. Surt's used to being in a palace. Which, presumably, is of normal temperature. Kyra's used to wearing scanty clothes in the cold. Conclusion: Kyra either runs out of healing or just gets heatstroke from the first attack. Either way, it's Surt's match. Surt: 34 
Jecht vs Lenny Curtis
SageAcrin Sometimes in life, manly men must take a stand for what they believe in. Drinking. For the first time ever in a Duelling League match, both contestants agreed to a drinking contest, to see who really could put back the most booze in Heavy. A special batch of the finest brew was made up by none other than a Pandaran Brewmaster, and the judges, from Opera and Ace, to Gen and Auron, were renowned for their talents at putting it away. Initially, it seemed like Lenny's match, too. Both were putting it away at a prodigious rate. However, Jecht, seeing a possible edge, transformed into his far, far larger form, picked up a keg, and started chugging. Unfortunatly, Lenny, while a faster drinker, is worse at actually handling the booze. As he attempted to do the same, he became woozy from the sudden change in height, and smashed into the stands, crushing a few dozen people. Ah, well. There's no shame in losing to Jecht in a drinking contest, and both of them managed to get commericial contracts, so it's all good. Even if the idea of Lenny chugging beer in tight shorts, while riding a jet ski, is a little odd. Jecht: 40
Dalton vs Ursula
Jo'ou Ranbu We all know Dalton isn't exactly a gentleman. And Ursula, despite being a cruel woman, still has the demeanor and pedigree of a true lady. So, no one in the Arena was surprised that, after Dalton let out his trademark massive BURP to take Ursula out of the fight, he'd meet the punishment stick's sharper end. Well, not exactly "stick", it was more like a massive, advancing and hungry explosion that charred the stupid man to a crisp. Ursula just double-cast Bolting and Elfire at the waves of gas, knowing the incoming result would do much more harm than anything else she could do by herself. And, even after the revival service, Dalton's plastic eyepatch still clings to his eye and skin. All in all, Dalton learned that Dalton shouldn't burp in front of a dame. Well, a dame carrying highly flammable magic tomes, at least. Dalton: 26 
Kanon vs Lucca Ashtear
SageAcrin Lucca, being an inventive genius, decided to dismantle Kanon, rather than fight her. She stayed up all night, working on blueprints and inventions, and finally came up with a novel portable Electromagnetic Pulse weapon that would knock Kanon unconcious with one shot. Then, as she was walking to the arena, after staying up 39 hours, she tripped on a large stick that, for some strange reason, was laying in the hallway, and that she hadn't seen a few moments ago. And promptly fell, smashing the device to bits. Lucca promptly went to the nearest phone, called in a forfeit, and slept for 21 hours. As for Kanon, standing in a doorway nearby, she smiled, a rare event for her. "Inventiveness is one way to get ahead, but being willing to do what needs to be done, no matter what, is worth far more." Kanon: 37 
Charizard vs Crowley
SageAcrin "Hmmm, let's see what we have here." Crowley said, looking over Brey's meticulous research. After last week, Crowley had basically strongarmed Brey into giving him as much info as possible about every member of the Duelling League. He'd been useful before, though possibly not in the way he'd planned. "Charizard: Winged lizard on fire....pah, he's a dragon, you fool. Uses fire attacks and physical blows, can lower accuracy, generally simple fighter...hmmm. " "Let's see. First, I assume he left out at least one important fact. Secondly, his idea of "Blow the lizard out of the arena when he uses a flying attack." isn't a good one. Well, it's at least useful basics." He said, walking into the Arena. "Char! Charicharchar!" Charizard said, flapping his wings anxiously. "...maybe the fact he forgot to mention here is that the thing's not bright?" Crowley said, frowning doubtfully at the lizard. As the match was started, Crowley shrugged, and blasted the Pokemon into a wall with a blast of wind magic, stunning him momentarily. "Char? Charar?" Charizard said, puzzled. "...yes. Wind. Stupid liz-oof!" Crowley said, barely avoiding the full blast of flames from Charizard's flamethrower breath. "Well, so far, he's been right. Hmmm." Crowley shrugged, ignored the fact that his clothes were on fire in places, and used his powerful Shining Wind to heal himself and blast back Charizard yet again. "Cha....CHAR!" The Pokemon said. And burst into massive, roaring flames. "...What? What is that thing do-" Were Crowley's last words last words, before being caught in a massive pillar of flame. --- "Uhhhhnnn. I'm too old for things like this." Crowley said, from his hospital bed. "I told you you should have just blown him out." Brey said. "But noooo, why would you listen to me. I've just given you good advice every other time..." He said, starting to walk out of the room. Crowley's Cyclone Rune glinted, and a sudden gust of wind caught Brey and shoved him out the nearby window. On the one hand, Crowley's room was on the first floor. On the other, the window wasn't open. "Next time, don't forget to mention when the stupid things have more than one form to choose from." Crowley cheerfully called out the window to the stunned and bleeding Brey.... Charizard: 36 
Odessa Silverberg vs Joachim Valentine
SageAcrin Let's review this match, from the point of view of the roles of the characters in plot, shall we? Joachim's powers involve turning into a superhero. He defends the innocent and those who cannot defend themselves. Including small children. Odessa's powers involve her dying. To protect a small child. Oh, and fighting to liberate the innocents who can't defend themselves. Logically, Joachim actually attacking Odessa isn't happening here. Actually, what happened was Joachim managed to strongarm Odessa into becoming part of a team with him, instead of either of them fighting. Joachim gets a partner, someone to talk to, and someone who doesn't instantly laugh at as his mask. Odessa gets to wear tight clothing in a world that isn't full of gay men (And Sheena Lepant. And Flik, who she ditched when she realized he was obsessed with her as some kind of saint figure.) who can't appreciate it, and has something to do after Tir took her job. Everyone wins, really. Odessa wins the most, though. Odessa Silverberg: 32
Reis Dular vs Aeris Gainsborough
gasman Reis should own Aeris. Aeris has no offense, and at least Reis has some offense. Reis Dular: 52 
Nanami vs Karyl Sheeden
SageAcrin Sometimes, in life, your lute just isn't enough. So you pull out your ELECTRIC GUITAR. But Karyl's is a dummied item, so he loses for pulling it out. ;_; Nanami: 29 
Elly van Houten vs Rufus Shinra
Cmdr_King It was mere moments before the start of the match, and Elly couldn't find a single thing to wear. Quite literally. Someone had stolen the entire content of her closet. Fei tried to reassure her “Don’t worry, Elly, I’m sure they’ll turn up, and in the meantime... if you have to fight without clothes, it’s not like we haven’t done it before.” “But we were together then...” “I’m sure no one would mind if I just escorted you to the ring, if that will help.” Floating atop a large pile of clothes in a shockingly successful effort to conceal them, Morte smiled to himself. Well, insofar as a skull can duplicate a smile. It was a brilliant plan if he did say so himself. If Elly refused to show up, Rufus would advance, and given Chisato’s general desire for power and inflicting suffering the two were bound to hit it off, paving the way for Morte’s own rise to power. And if she did show up... well, Morte wasn’t going to complain about seeing a stunning redhead fight naked. The time of the match arrived. Rufus came out, watching both his enormous female fan-section and the Turk’s discrete search for cheating on the part of Elly’s castmates with appreciative nods. Elly came out, armed with her rod and nothing else. The resident perverts gave an standing ovation, though their thunderous applause was drown out by the new soundproof bubble they were restricted to. Close on her heels was Fei, whispering encouragments, managing to wear less than Elly since he wasn’t even fighting that day. The response was less supportive, to say the least. Every male in the audience, try as they might to focus on the attractive Geblar officer, was forced almost reflexively to look away. Several fled. Rufus suffered a minor heart attack (apparently his health is not so good as his worlds famous looks suggest), and was immediately carried out by the White Mages and his worried lackeys. And Morte? Well, he’d have taken his own life in shame, but unfortunately, this proved an impossibility. Apparently undeath does have its disadvantages. Elly van Houten: 54 gasman
Alanis vs Chisato Madison
SageAcrin Chisato handled this battle the most tactful way she knew how. Before the battle started, she walked over to Alanis, and sweetly started trying to talk her out of fighting. Alanis, determined to win, refused. At which point, Chisato just showed her a picture of Elliot hanging head-first over a vat of acid, and smiled. Alanis never showed up for the match, Chisato was in the studio well within time for filming, and everyone was happy. ...Well, except Elliot, who has horrible nightmares about Odin and Gilgamesh talking to him while he was held hostage... Alanis: 11 |
