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Setzer Gabianni (Final Fantasy VI) |
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It's time to roll the dice once again. Specifically, the Fixed Dice, Setzer's dreaded ivory cubes of death. Their unpredictable damage and ability to deal a devastating 9999-power strike completely at random is the bane of healers everywhere. Alice Elliot learned this many seasons ago, and now it's Rikku's turn. It doesn't matter how many times Rikku tries to heal up and poke at the gambler with her claw in the vain hope of triggering an overdrive. It doesn't matter how many tricks she has up her sleeve. Sooner or later, as always, Lady Luck will smile on Setzer, the Loaded Dice will show sixes, and that, as they say, will be that. |
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After winning a Light Championship, Rikku was able to use her noteriety (as well as her Mixing skills) to open up a bar, one of the most happening joints in all the multiverse. Frequented, of course, by gambler Setzer. Disagreements about fixed dice have kept them at odds, so it's good for them to finally have it out. She'll almost be running circles around him, and she'll still have to Use all the magical items at her disposal to beat him. She's still in a good position, though since her opponent's skillset relies almost completely on chance. As long as she can whip up some reliable items with Use, she'll most definately beat the spread. |
SageAcrin *Five months ago...* "Why are chu so fascinated with me?" Rikku said. "..." Yuna and Paine said, staring at her. "This...wasn't quite what I intended, I must admit." Citan said, watching Rikku summersault around the room. "I was mostly just interested in keeping the insane young lady from ruining Roufas and Baralai's match." "...Can we keep her like this?" Paine said. "It's an improvement." "No, I don't think so." Yuna said. "As some compensation for the young lady's condition, I've attempted to remedy it." Citan said. "Unfortunately, she seems to be the result of three, perfectly balanced, personalities." "Wait a second. Three?" Paine said. "Yes. One seems to be kindly and somewhat hyper, the second is exceedingly homicidal and is more hyper than Selphie was the time someone had her eat five pounds of sugar on a dare, and the third is..." He shrugged, pointing at the happily "Chu."ing Rikku bounding around the room. "...Wait, I remember that now. She really did change suddenly right after we defeated Sin..." Yuna said. *A few years ago.* "Oh, darn it, I would come upon a Iron Giant, alone." Rikku said, staring up at the fiend's massive metallic bulk. "Well, all I have to do is mix something up!" She said brightly, turning around. The giant, seeing an opening, smashed her to the earth with his giant club, mostly smashing her head in the process. (Rendering him quite possibly the smartest fiend ever.) "...huh? What? What happened? HEY! You big idiot! How could you do that!" Rikku said, throwing a Supernova in the giant's face. The giant toppled over and dissolved into pyreflies. "Oh, poopy, now I feel all dizzy. Why? Ah, well, it doesn't matter." Rikku said, as she walked off. Within a day later, her total exposed skin doubled. *A few years later.* "Chu!" Rikku yelled, executing an impressive running summersault across the room. "...Okay, maybe it's not an improvement. So how do we fix this?" Paine said. "Well, I think the only thing that could do it is probably getting smashed as hard as she was last time." Citan said, adjusting his glasses. "...wouldn't that just give her another personality?" Yuna said doubtfully. "I suppose it's possible. But the last case of this I heard of took technology I don't have on hand and wouldn't bring to this world for a few trillion G." Citan said, shrugging. "Too much potential for misuse, too many lunatics. And even then, he only fixed himself, in the end. My suggestion's the best I can come up with." "So, bash her over the head until she's normal? I can handle that." Paine said, backhanding Rikku in the face. "Chu!?" "Nono, that won't work." Citan said. "Are you sure?" Paine said. "Because it really would not be a problem." "Yes, yes. She needs to come near death to break past this problem." Citan said. "So I stab her a few times...mmm, no, I don't guess I can..." Paine started to say. "CHU!" Rikku yelled, summersaulting on top of Paine's head. Both promptly fell over. "...On second thought..." Paine said, unsheathing her sword. "No, wait. Look, Paine, all we have to do is let her fight in this state, she'll be beaten, and she'll come back to normal." Yuna said. "What do we do until then?" Paine said dubiously. "...Well...um..." Yuna said. *One month later.* "Chu!" "Chu!" "Chu!" The happy room full of Chu-Chus bounded around. The suspicions were wrong. The Chu-Chus had survived the events in Shevat. They happily frolicked in a obscure corner of the Duelling League world. With one non-Chu-Chu. Rikku had found her temporary home. *Present day.* "Chu! It's time for chu to go down!" Rikku said, bounding around the arena. "..." Setzer simply stared. "What's wrong, chu? Are chu scared of me?" Rikku said, bouncing up to him. "...Do I really have to do this?" Setzer called up at the judges. "CHU!" Rikku bellowed in Setzer's face. A flurry of darts smashed into her body, instantly killing her. "...Oops. Reflex." Setzer said, staring down at Rikku. --- "Well, all that's left now is to see if she wakes up." Yuna said. "I've done all I can to heal her." "Ummm...uh?" Rikku said. "My head...all I remember was that giant...smacking me..." "...Giant? Setzer?" Paine said. "No, Iron Giant. You know." Rikku said. "...What's the last thing you remember before that, Rikku?" Yuna said. "Well, we beat Sin, and then there was a huge party, and..." "You don't remember the last three years!?" Yuna and Paine yelled simultaniously? "...Huh? And who the hell put me in clothes like this!?" Rikku said, horrified... --- "So...her personalities even seem to have different memories. Fascinating." Citan said. "Well, I suppose she's fine now, so there's no problem. Good day." Citan said, putting down the phone. "...I don't believe it." Yuna said, still shaking her head. "...You know this means you've been admiring someone totally certifiable for a while now, right? I mean, really. Legally. Totally and utterly and without doubt..." Paine said. "Shut up, Paine." Yuna said. --- "Mmmm...Chu? Where am I? Chuuuuu!" Rikku's Chu-Chu personality bellowed into the darkness of Rikku's mind. "Oh, shut up. It's your fault I'm in here. We just need to wait for our chance to get out, that's all!" Rikku's FFX-2 personality muttered angrily... Setzer Gabianni: 43 Tide
the jp
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