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Big Joe (Xenogears) |
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People marvel at Big Joe's great combat prowess, popularity, and business acumen, but today we of the DL would like to remind you of Joe's spiritual side. Like a Bodhisattva, Big Joe has descended from Godlike to teach the potential-filled Lights the path. Each one of Big Joe's punches, be they great or dynamic, is like a poem written by a child of both Ares and the Muses. Joe's opponents find their minds distracted from the illusion of reality by the rain of blows, yet these minds are also opened and become capable of seeing what truly matters. Yes, Big Joe shall teach the Lights what courage really means by winning a championship, which will show the path for all to ascend to Godlikehood. |
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Despite the qualities his name may suggest, Hawkeye is a massive bear of a man. He may not be slow by any means, but he doesn't really match up with that name of his in the slightest. Nevertheless, he is an exemplary tribal warrior with a great many glorious victories to his credit. Sadly, however, this match will not go down as one of them. Oh, make no mistake, this will be a victory... but his opponent Big Joe is not what you would call... competent. Oh sure, he talks a big game, he has the fans and he has the fame, but when push comes to shove Big Joe just can't argue with an axe to the face. It may be Light, but let's leave the arena to the real fighters, like Hawkeye, shall we? |
Gatewalker Nobody really expected there to be quite *this* much blood in a match between an FE scrub and Big Joe. But sometimes weird things happen. Things like Big Joe being a few minutes late to the match, so Hawkeye was tossing a handaxe back and forth to kill time. Things like some wiseguy in the crowd deciding to throw a beer can at Hawkeye for the hell of it. Hawkeye couldn't help what came next. He's an FE character. He counters. That's just what he does. So the next thing anyone knew, a handaxe flung by a heavily muscled man was flying towards the retard who threw a can at him. Well, the guy was about to get what he deserved, right? Oh, if only it stopped there. Somehow, the mechanics of the universe decided that when Big Joe was involved, even though he wasn't there yet, the entire crowd counted as a single entity. A single entity that Hawkeye just countered. Like some sort of infernal top, the axe started spinning it's way around the bleachers, slicing off body parts from every last poor sap it touched. Hawkeye was powerless to stop what had started. Within moments, the axe had worked it's way through the entire crowd, leaving nothing but a trail of blood, gore and broken bodies behind it. And as handaxes are supposed to do, it came sailing right back to Hawkeye as soon as it was done. Big Joe of course took this moment to walk in, fashionably late as planned. Only to be confronted with the sight of carnage in the stands, and Hawkeye holding a very bloody axe. Big Joe promptly turned on his heel, and walked right back out. Big Joe: 11 AndrewRogue
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