Season 37, Week 1
Starky
(Chrono Cross)
 
Poor Starky. First, he lands on the bizarre world of Chrono Cross, where he runs into countless weirdos. Then, he lands in the DL arena, which is home to even more weirdos. There's not much odder and sadder than loligoth angst - and, coincidentally, that defines Arietta the Wild! Even weirder is that, in spite of being a God General and one of the main villians in her world, Arietta is rather pathetic in combat. Lacking anything close to damage or staying power, she's exactly as tough as you'd expect a little girl to be. Nothing a few shots of Starky's gun can't fix, anyway. Although he won't need them, Starky boasts several otherworldly techs to smash Arietta's face in. Starstruck is more than enough to flatten Arietta in one blow, and Starky also has his other lower level attacks just in case the girl even things of further opposing him. Winning this fight quickly won't be much in the way of a challenge, but it's certainly easier to do than figuring out why someone like Van would hire a little girl.

V

S

Of all of Van's God Generals, Arietta is perhaps the saddest. A young girl, her family devastated, her ideals broken, brought up by ligers - suffice to say, her life's been tough. To land in Light when the rest of her compatriots thrive in Heavy or above, however, is perhaps the greatest travesty of all! The young former Fon Guardian is not going to let that tramp Anise one-up her in Middle, not at all! With the greatest magic power of all of the God Generals at her command, Arietta and her dolly shall have a field time this season, starting with the beatdown of a Chrono Cross scrub! The ET rip-off Starky is a typical Chrono Cross Light - unmemorable in all ways with little combat prowess to his name. As such, the Wild Child's Bloody Howling should make short work of him, negating the need to summon her powerful Mystic Artes. With a casting of Barrier to shield herself from Starky's gun, Arietta has this fight in the bag. Look out, Anise! You're next!


superaielman
The little alien from the Chrono Cross world was depressed. Arietta seemed like such a nice person, and he was going to have to fight her to move on. "Starky doesn't want to fight a sweet little girl. Any way Starky avoid this?"

"Sure." A masked figure leaped down to meet Starky eye to eye. It appeared to be a ninja of all things. "Just throw this at her. It'll knock her out. It won't hurt. I promise."

Starky, a trusting soul, agreed to it. "Okay!" Starky tossed the Fuma at Arietta, scoring an instant knockout on the frail God General. "That was easy! Thanks!"

"No problem. I was just.. in the area. Yeah. Randomly. Speaking of, which, I'll be seeing you."

Starky wandered off happily, glad for a win and a painless solution to his problem. When he got out of the arena, he noticed something was missing.

"Where's the key to the spaceship?"

...

"For that matter, where's the spaceship?! Starky's sad now."

Starky: 36
Arietta: 24

Ralff
Starky has a RAYGUN; game, set, and match.