Season 32, Week 1
Darkham
(Arc the Lad 4)
 
Uniting the human world under his banner is Darkham's only true goal in life. He knows the utter worthlessness of such pitiful ideals as unity, refusing to work together with inferior creatures. Complete and total genocide is the only true path, and he'll use this half-elf as a painful example of his ideals. Paralyzing grenades are just the thing to prevent Carlie from moving or spellcasting, and the fine bladework of the leader of all humanity will silence anyone who dares to question his motives and goals.

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Little in life is as fun as beating up evil old men. Yuri Hyuga lived that dream, and now Carlie gets to as well! Darkham’s racism and genocidal tendencies are guaranteed to get the half-elf Carlie riled up (as riled as Carlie can get, anyway). Black Curse will destroy the status-vulnerable baddie's ability to do much of anything. Her fast and abundant healing will handle the rest. Carlie is in good shape to prove that cute little girls with speech idiosyncrasies and powerful magic are superior to cliched villainous emperors.


Grefter
It was a truely epic battle, two people flying through the air, powering up and screaming for days and days. Laser beams and sword flashing everywhere. Giant robots exploding all over the place.

With a defiant cry of "NINJA, THE TEA PARTY IS OVER!" Carlie struck down Darkham with a backhand from a spiked shield and a kick to the side of the head.

Then she proceeded to shoot everyone in the crowed with eye lasers of doom while angel feathers spewed forth out of her mouth.

You wouldn't understand man. It is postmodern.

Darkham: 16
Carlie: 30