 | Welcome back to Behind the Scenes here on the finals week of...hey, wait a minute, what are you doing here?
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 | Chisato took a spontaneous vacation, so Nate called me to fill in. I'm in charge here today.
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 | Man, why is she the only one of us to get vacation days?
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 | Yeah, that's not fair. Also, as an aquatic creature I have a moral objection to working for a cat, no matter how powerful or evil it may be.
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| Then you're in luck. I brought my own crew, so you all may leave. Consider it a sick day. As in I'm sick of the lot of you already, so get out. Now.
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 | Whohoo, a day off!
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| Fair enough. Have fun running the show.
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| Don't have to tell me twice, I'm outta here!
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| Hey, wait for me meatbags!
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| And now that the goon squad is gone, I can get to work. Alright gentlemen, let's get this show on the road, as they say.
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 | Blast!
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 | Pika!
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 | Ganium!
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| Ah, the sound of enthusiastic employees. Well, who do we have for our first interview?
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| Blastoise, blast.
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| Excellent, show them in.
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 | Hmm, good morning Mewtwo.
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 | Indeed. Um, may I ask why the studio seems to be overrun with pokemon?
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| Because they're more competent then the regular staff, why else?
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| You know, I really can't argue that logic.
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| Blastoise, toise? Blast blast, toise blast?
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| Deadly fingertips, win. It's really that easy, which is just the way I like it.
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| Toise?
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| Of course I'm not going to go down that easily. I have plans of my own, after all. I think I can win this rather handily.
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| Plans of your own? Like, oh, spending some time down at the casino, hmm?
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| My plans are for me to know, and for you to lose sleep over.
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| I'm a vampire, dear. I don't lose sleep over anything.
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| Hmph, so you say.
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| Blastoise blast.
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| Quite right Mr. Blastoise. Let's do try and keep things civil here, without Chisato and her minions around this might be the only time on this show that will actually be an option.
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| That's about our allotment of time for Heavy anyway. Good having you both, and good luck in your match.
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| Of course. Thank you for having us.
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| See you again next week for the post season show?
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| Perhaps. Well, who's next on the schedule? Middle, yes?
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| Mega mega!
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 | What is going on here? How could those two understand what these beasts are saying?
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 | Blaziken!
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| What? Is this your doing, bird? Trying to weaken my resolve before the match, are you?
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| Calm down your highness. I assure you, Blaziken is not nearly intelligent enough to think up something so elaborate, nor would it be inclined to resort to such trickery even if it were. Fighting types do so love their 'fair fights' and all.
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| And I should take your word for this? How do I know this isn't something you cooked up to help one of your brethren actually win a title for your game for once?
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| Meganium, gain mega?
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| Blaaaaaaze....
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| What, what did he say?
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| Something along the lines of 'An Ogre Battle fighter commenting on someone else's lack of a championship?' to which Blaziken responded with a rather low class comment of 'buuuuuuurn....'.
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| I'm being mocked by animals. Interview someone else, I'm through with this charade. I'll see you in the arena, chicken. Try to at least put up a fight, will you?
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| Blaziken, blase!
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| I'm not translating that one. And watch your language, or I'll turn the hose on you.
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| ...blasiken...
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| Well, Middle was a bit of a disaster. Let's just move on to Light, shall we? Pikachu, if you will?
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| Pika, pikachu!
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 | What the hell is that thing doing here?
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 | Oh, it's sooooo cute! And so soft, oh, aren't you just adorable?
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| Piiiii....
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| Attractive women randomly run up and hug you and you're complaining? I wonder about you sometimes, rodent.
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| No, seriously, what are all these little kiddy monster freaks doing here? I came here to get interviewed by professionals, not put up with this kid stuff.
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| Pika pi?
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| He'd like to know why exactly it is that you consider creatures that are essentially living, breathing weapons of mass destruction to be 'kiddy stuff'?
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| Huh. You know, when you look at it that way...
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| Seriously, these critters are actually pretty handy. I like to carry around a Golem, myself. It's like portable cover, great for firing from behind and it rips people in half for me if they get too close. I just wish I could use him in the arena.
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| Yeah, then you might have a slim chance instead of none.
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| Chuuuu?
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| Ah, he would like you to set him down now, Opera. And not to squeeze him in general.
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| Oops, sorry about that little fella. Here you go.
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| Pika....pi....
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| Well, your thoughts on the match?
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| I'll run her over in no time. As someone who can actually appreciate a nice piece of technology around here, I'm sure she already knows that she's got no chance against my machine.
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| The only thing that machine says to me is overcompensation.
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| What? Grr, you wanna say that to my face?
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| I believe I just did. Anyway, I'll just snipe this third class loser right out of his mech. It's not like his head is a small target or anything.
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| Yeah, keep talking missy. We'll see who gets the last laugh come fight time.
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| So much for keeping things civil. Well, I think that's enough time spent on Light. Thank you both for coming.
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| Sure thing. Not about to miss a chance to let people know that I made the finals.
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| Overcompensation my ass. I'll have you know that I'm...
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| PIKACHUUUUUUUU!
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| GAAAAAAH!
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| While I was hoping to get through this without violence, that was still a better option then letting him finish that sentence.
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| Pi?
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| Yes, I'll be handling Godlike myself. Speaking of which, here they are now. Zophar, Fou-lu, good to see you both again.
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 | You as well, Mewtwo.
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 | 'Tis a pleasant change to speak with one who is possessed of both intellect and dignity on this program.
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| And good to see that you've remembered what an indoor voice is, Zophar. Can I ask why you've been TALKING LIKE THIS so much recently?
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| Well SOMEONE had to put Xorn in his place.
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| Odd, I thought that honor was mine.
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| On camera, I meant. His constant PROCLAMING was getting a bit annoying, and usually I enjoy that sort of thing. Just...not from him.
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| I can understand that. He was rather annoying even by the standards of a cliche RPG evil god. Well, onto things that actually matter, how do you think your chances of stopping Fou-lu from attaining that fourth championship are looking?
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| As good as it can look, considering my opponent. He's never someone to take lightly, but I'm picking up steam after disposing of the returning champion and I don't intend to lose.
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| You are certainly on a roll, yes. Fou, what's your response to Zophar's momentum?
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| I shall fight with all that I have, as I always do. While I crave that fourth championship that mine contemporary Myria has already attained, there is no shame in losing to one such as Zophar. But a victory over my divine self will come at dear cost, and I do not think he can pay it.
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| Well spoken. I'm glad you two aren't letting this championship match get personal.
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| We have more respect for our colleagues then that.
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| I save the getting personal for PCs, myself.
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| And that wraps us up. Well, all in all this was a rather successful show if I do say so myself.
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 | Mewtwo, what are you doing running my show?
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| Oh, hello Nate. You asked me to, remember?
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| No, I really didn't. And don't even try that jedi mind trick stuff on me. My persona protects me from that just as easily as it does magic.
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| Ah. Well, I felt like running the show to amuse myself so I teleported Chisato to Cinnibar Island and BSed the rest of your crew into taking off so I could.
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| Did anything explode?
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| Just Tony.
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| Huh, well, whatever. Just so long as you understand that I'm not paying you for this.
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| If you were paying me then it would be a job and I wouldn't want to do it.
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| ...cats. Alright, you can close us off, I'm leaving.
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| Excellent. Well then, this has been Behind the Scenes, and on behalf of myself, my loyal crew and even the usual assortment of lunatics, I bid you a good day. Haha, I've always wanted to say that! |
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!