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Topics - OblivionKnight

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Tournaments / THE ULTIMATE TOURNAMENT OF ULTIMATE DOOM II: WEEK THREE(ish)!!!!

« on: October 13, 2009, 06:11:08 AM »

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttttt'sssssssssssssssssssssssss back!!!!!! Moving and everything else during the end of June made it hard to keep up, and then I promptly forgot about this! Apparently, this is the week of resurrecting topics! Anyway, last time...well, lots of blow-outs, but also some relatively close matches. The results....

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Dr. Strange (Marvel Comics) vs. Dr. Strangelove (Dr. Strangelove) iiiiiiii - iiiii
Dr. Horrible (Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog) vs. Dr. Orpheus (The Venture Brothers) iiiiiiiii - iii
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Arcturus Mengsk (Starcraft) vs. Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore (Apocalypse Now) iiiiiiiii - i
Ceiling Cat (Internet Meme) vs. Fluffy (Internet Meme) iiiiiiiiiiii - 0
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Helen of Troy (Real Life?) vs. Anastasia Romanov (Real Life?) iiiii - iiiiiiii
Yasunori Mitsuda (Real Life) vs. Frederic Chopin (Real Life) iiii - iiiiiii
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The Tick (The Tick) vs. Flay Gunnar (Mana Khemia) iiiiiiiii - ii
Marie Antoinette (Real Life) vs. Bundt (Super Mario RPG) ii - iiiiiiiiiii

You'll see these kids again in a few weeks. Now, on to the newest competitors...

Sufficiently Developed Science is Indistinguishable from Magic

[

vs.

Dr. Hubert Farnsworth (Futurama) vs. Mr. Mistoffelees (Cats)
Dr. Farnsworth has experimented on many cats in his lifetime, from talking ones to radioactive ones with super powers. But none so magical, none as great as the Magical Mr. Mistoffelees! You see him one moment, but then he is gone, but next minute you'll find him out on the lawn! Of course, when said lawn is filled with all kinds of used weapons of mass destruction and doomsday devices, perhaps the lawn isn't the safest place to be...

vs.

Criss Angel (Real Life) vs. Dr. Hojo (Final Fantasy 7)
Criss Angel is a douchebag. Dr. Hojo is a douchebag. Honestly, if they don't end up making out by the end of this match, I'll be pretty surprised. Seriously, they're made for each other - both have a huge superiority complex, and both don't give a rat's ass about anyone else. Yeah, man-love is soon to commence.

Apocalypse WOW

vs.

Meteor Impact (Real Life) vs. Ice Age (Real Life)
What really killed off the dinosaurs? Besides you masturbating at night. Yes, you. I'm watching you. Just like Santa. And JESUS. So stop it. NOW!

vs.

Hydlide (Real Life) vs. Good Burger: The Movie (Real Life)
DEAR GOD THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US RUN THE FUCK AWAY!!!!!!

Historical Pretense?

vs.

Emperor Caligula (Real Life) vs. Richard Nixon (Real Life/Futurama)
One raped a horse, the other beat one to death. I don't remember which one's which, but I'm not sure it matters. Which world leader is superior? Whether in terms of sanity or the lack thereof? Will Emperor Caligula's history pave the way for a modern day victory, or will Nixon's underhandedness win the day?

vs.

Sky Marshal Dienes (Starship Troopers: The Movie) vs. General George S. Patton (Real Life)
You know, I'm fairly sure they based Dienes off of a World War I general. Probably Joffre, or some other retard. That being said, with the superior weaponry, will even his retardedness win the day against one of the greatest military leaders to ever face the planet? Or will Patton's force of will be all that's needed to one-up the president/supreme commander of future earth?

The Cake is a Lie

vs. [

Stewie Griffon (Family Guy) vs. David Xanatos (Gargoyles)
A homicidal baby with dreams of world domination up against the master planner. For all of Xanatos' skill and finesse, though, it's hard to argue with Stewie's raw force and intelligence. Of course, maybe that's just what Xanatos wants you to think...perhaps his real victory lies in losing? Or maybe he wants you to think that so he'll win...or maybe so you'll make him lose so he wins so he loses...

vs.

Dil (The Crying Game) vs. Zoisite (Sailor Moon)
It's a trap!

Short form:
-----
Dr. Hubert Farnsworth (Futurama) vs. Mr. Mistoffelees (Cats)
Criss Angel (Real Life) vs. Dr. Hojo (Final Fantasy 7)
-----
Meteor Impact (Real Life) vs. Ice Age (Real Life)
Hydlide (Real Life) vs. Good Burger: The Movie (Real Life)
-----
Emperor Caligula (Real Life) vs. Richard Nixon (Real Life/Futurama)
Sky Marshal Dienes (Starship Troopers: The Movie) vs. General George S. Patton (Real Life)
-----
Stewie Griffon (Family Guy) vs. David Xanatos (Gargoyles)
Dil (The Crying Game) vs. Zoisite (Sailor Moon)

As always (in case you, somehow, forgot!), a week and a day! This ends next Tuesday, October 20th! VOTE NOW, BITCHES!!!!

Writeup Graveyard / Yukiko Amagi (vs. Adell Adele Adel)

« on: September 19, 2009, 12:25:40 AM »

Beautiful and elegant as the flame, the shining star of Yukiko Amagi has blazed a bright trail through Middle this season. The glorious light of the Goddess Amaterasu burns in her heart, and that fire will be the source of her victory in the battles to come. Especially so in this fight, as her opponent, the dashing master of flaming fisticuffs Adell, finds himself in a bit of a bind. Firey strength that the gods themselves fear to contend with, his volcanic powers are completely useless against Yukiko and her persona, leaving him with little else to fight off the awakened high schooler. Yukiko, meanwhile, has a multitude of tricks to completely demoralize and humiliate Adell in combat. Her own powerful fire magic will cut a swath through Adell's lacking defenses, and with the capacity to cast Diarahan until the end of time, she can easily outlast the much more easily exhausted (like most men are when dealing with women) man. And with a quick change of clothing, Yukiko can transform herself into a master ninja, dodging anything thrown her way and overwhelming Adell's own attempts to evade her attacks. And this isn't even considering her strength of will that allows her to evade death, or the multitude of beautiful yet deadly fans she carries as weapons. Gorgeous but deadly, victory is assured for the beautiful princess of Inaba - and next week, another victory awaits as she rises to her well-deserved championship over all her adoring Middle fans.

Writeup Graveyard / Kartikeya, a.k.a. Gene Simmons, a.k.a. God (vs. Ryu the third trimester)

« on: September 12, 2009, 01:39:12 AM »

Oh yeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhh! Time to K.I.S.S. your ass goodbye, dragon-boy - Doctor Love is in the house! The ruler of the world of hard rock-n'-roll (and also murdering helpless women and children) is all hyped up after crushing that little girl last week beneath his Love Gun, and if there's anything that the great Gene Simmons likes, it's letting his tongue fly free and drag on some Cold Gin while he takes a shot at anyone else who challenges him as the king of rock! And a dragon! Oh boy! This will surely be one of those Crazy Crazy Nights! Armed to the teeth with weaponry and ready to Shout It Out Loud that he's not going to take any shit from a poser like Ryu, this battle will be a sight to remember! Fast and resilient, Kartikeya doesn't have much to fear from the slower dragon - a few Vortexes, or even a quick Grin and overkill, are all within the realm of grasp here. And dragons? Please - none of those beasts can stand up to the Unholy terror that is Kartikeya - he's stronger, faster, and can punish each and every one of those little whelps with a flick of his wrist. I mean, heeeeeeeeell, a Killer like Kartikeya isn't going down to some silent little brat who thinks he's special. NO ONE IS AS SPECIAL AND AS ROCKING AWESOME AS HE IS. NO ONE. Shock Me, baby! It's time for a new load of ass-kicking by yours-truly. Flaming Youth, you're going down - A World Without Heroes is the only world for Kartikeya, and no amount of dragon power is going to save you from the terrible torture that is about to come your way!

Writeup Graveyard / Selphie Tilmitt (vs. Land Land Land Land Land is GR8!!!!!)

« on: September 10, 2009, 05:11:12 PM »

A little bit of sucrose, fructose, dextrose...anything with a mix of carbon and oxygen bonds is all it takes for the Garden soldier to stand tall and fight off even the scariest of opponents. And booooooooy is Landis scary! Seriously, he could use a make-over by the Fab Five - well, that might actually be worse. Anyway, despite being a scary little...wing...thing...he's about as impotent as an old man. When you have the ability to banish the ultimate sorceress to infinity with a single thought, a freak with a scythe isn't too tough. All Landis is capable of is attacking things slowly - Selphie, hyped on sugar, is more than agile enough to avoid and counter anything he throws her way - in particular, nunchucks are the ideal weapon to catch hold of and disarm a giant, slow, fumbling scythe. And without that scythe (or even with it, for that matter), Landis is out of luck - give Selphie enough time, and anything will fall to the great void beyond with a single, innocent, The End.

Writeup Graveyard / Baal Morranis (vs. Very Vain Vagina Vermin Vormav)

« on: September 07, 2009, 04:11:38 PM »

Baal, leader of the Garlyle Forces...and soon, ruler of the world! Or, at least, divisional champion of the RPGDL Middle! The greatest dragoon, Kain, has fallen to his wrath, so how is the pitiful knight Vormav to defeat him? With the power of Gaia flowing through his veins, there is nothing that can be done to stop him! Wielding powerful magics, including Zap and Burnflame, are more than enough to crush the "faithful" knight. And hey, Baal fights NEKKID - Vormav's one redeeming feature, his armour and weapon breaking, will be completely useless against the birthday suit Baal dons. And that puny runeblade Vormav wields? Not enough to trounce the might of Alhealer, and even without that, in a straight-up battle, Baal's magic and superior resilience will win the day. The puny knight is out of his league here - don't bring a sword to a magic battle, fool. The Lord of Destruction shall reign triumphant!...or wait, is that a different Baal?

Writeup Graveyard / Renee Kearse (vs. Jean the Stripper)

« on: September 07, 2009, 05:01:55 AM »

Beautiful and deadly, Renee's bringing girl power to new heights this season. Having faced off against the incarnation of death itself and won, things bode well for the femme fatale. In particular, after fighting off death itself, what hope does a martial artist/dancer have of beating her? While Jean may be quick, the fact of the matter remains that all of her promiscuous parlor tricks are useless against Renee - Renee's conservative school uniform provides protection unmatched by even the heaviest and most enchanted of armour's, meaning that Jean's puny little punches will make little impact on the resilient student. The stripperific clothing Jean wears leaves much to be desired in terms of protection, and makes Renee's job much easier. Even without her Azureflame Mana, Renee's punishing Girl Power!!! attacks can crush anyone of any sex (and even those of indeterminate or nonexistent sex), and a Full Power Blade is even more deadly when it hits its mark. Backed up by the fiery offense of her Azureflame Mana, there's little that can stand in the way of the mighty Renee and her efforts to strengthen women's rights throughout the multi-verse. Get ready, pigs - womankind isn't going to stand by and be degraded any longer! That is...if Renee actually gets to fight someone of the opposite sex this season. It does kind of suck to beat up on your own kind, but what can you do? A victory is a victory.

Writeup Graveyard / Piastol Adrianna McGregor (vs. Avalon)

« on: September 06, 2009, 07:55:36 PM »

The Angel of Death has proven herself time and time again in the arena - with only 3 losses to her name and 3 championships in the time she's been fighting the good(?) fight, she's proven herself to be a contender that Godlikes fear. On the other side of the fence, Avalon's a relative newcomer - beaten in the past by some of the high tier Godlikes that Piastol crushes in her sleep. As such, this will be a trivial match for the deathbringing angel of vengeance. Fast as lightning and just as powerful, Piastol can run circles around the self-proclaimed, "Infinite One", and her deadly Tempest Dance is more offensive might than Avalon can pull into the fray. Further adding insult to injury, Avalon's myriad of tricks - from smoking pot and beating up his stoned opponent to mimicking Elizabeth Montgomery - are all completely ineffective against Piastol: she quit pot years ago, and <i>hates</i> Bewitched. With every advantage on her side, the Angel of Death will reap yet another soul this week - bringer her closer to a fourth championship, and yet another reason to fear the reaper.

Writeup Graveyard / Monsieur Lamington Pon Montegrie Celestia (vs. Arc Eda Ida Oda Ricolne)

« on: August 28, 2009, 09:18:58 PM »

Having watched the God of Destruction Zophar destroy the division of gods last season, Lamington has taken it upon himself to vanquish the vile monster this season. Judgment, punishment, from Heaven is what the Seraph of Celestia brings upon those who would take advantage of others and reign devastation upon the innocent, and Zophar is no exception - he will soon feel divine punishment reigning down upon him! Lamington brings the power of a god to the table - with amazing resilience to damage of all types, the Seraph can weather Zophar's dreaded Hell Storm with little difficulty. And with his own brand of frosty Judgment, the great Destroyer himself will be hard-pressed to take withstand much punishment from the great Seraph. No manner of praying, scheming, or vile tricks will be able to save Zophar from divine retribution at Lamington's hands.

Unranked Games / Final Fantasy Twelve

« on: August 16, 2009, 11:42:51 PM »

You know what I just realized? I haven't ever made a Final Fantasy stat topic before. So why the hell did I decide to do Final Fantasy 12, quite possible the most nightmarish one to do?

I guess I just like pain.

Anyway, this topic is going to be fairly complete at some point. I wanted to try to pull as many possible interpretations for the cast as possible...and I got many. There are many ways to take characters due to the License Board set-up: "scale" the starting licenses up (similar to the DDS2 Mantra Grid), or take them at baseline being the most common, and easiest to consider/fairest. Other views include: scaling the characters based on Revenant Wings, providing the Job System stats for every class, and whatever else Meeple/Tonfa come up with >_> The first two posts will include the more common DL views (also known as "Balthier Hype" and "Arbitrary Scaling" views), while other posts will (eventually) contain the other PC set-ups, temps, and bosses.

I'll list the specifics in the individual posts, as there is a lot that could be added here. But, system basics:

FF12 uses an ATB system for combat. It also utilizes ranges, distances, recovery times, lag times, and a lot of other odd mechanics which end up working reasonably well. The game uses a subtractive defense system for everything from defense to magick defense to status defense, which can end up being pretty significant depending on the attack (think FF1 style). The majority of the stats come from equipment (DEF, MDEF, EVA, MEVA, ATT) and skills (Augments, Quickenings, etc.) - character base stats, as you'll see, don't vary a huge amount.

Each weapon class and type has a specific CT associated with it (all magick, for reference, has a CT of 30), and damage varies based on several stats (for example, swords are based entirely on ATT of the weapon and STR, while daggers are based off ATT, STR, and SPD). These will be noted with the weapon class. Weapons also have a chance to combo (i.e., multiple hits) that is added to the character's base chance to combo. Note that guns, bows, measures, crossbows, rods, staves, and handbombs cannot combo, though the bows, measures, crossbows and guns can critical (the noted rate is in addition to the character base of 5%). Note that weapons that can combo can still critical (2x damage), at a 5% rate per hit. For instances of combo attacks:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hit # | HP > 25% | 25%< HP <12.5% | 6.25%< HP <12.5% | HP < 6.25%
------|----------|----------------|------------------|-------------------------
2 | 40.0% | 14.7% | 1.4% | 0%
3 | 38.2% | 30.8% | 7.5% | 0%
4 | 16.6% | 29.3% | 17.5% | 0.2%
5 | 4.3% | 16.7% | 24.7% | 1.2%
6 | 0.8% | 6.4% | 23.3% | 4.3%
------|----------|----------------|------------------|-------------------------
7 | 0% | 1.7% | 15.3% | 10.8%
8 | 0% | 0.3% | 7.2% | 19.2%
9 | 0% | 0% | 2.4% | 24.4%
10 | 0% | 0% | 0.6% | 21.7%
11 | 0% | 0% | 0% | 12.8%
------|----------|----------------|------------------|-------------------------
12 | 0% | 0% | 0% | 5.3%
------|----------|----------------|------------------|-------------------------

Weapon combo rates are added to this after being multiplied by 0.7 (rounded up). So, a weapon with a combo rating of 20% added to a character >25% HP would show a 54% chance of performing 2 hits. This chart also holds true for bosses and non-PCs.

Character limit breaks in this game are handled a little bit differently. Called Quickenings, every character has 3 that can be activated immediately as long as they have enough MP. There are 3 "levels" of MP, with an additional MP pool gained after learning a Quickening, enabling a Quickening of that level (i.e., either 1, 2, or 3 pools of MP corresponding to a level 1, 2, or 3 Quickening). The damage accrued during these is physical, and varies based on the level of Quickening performed. The damage is also exceedingly random (to the point where using a single level 1 Quickening can conceivably deal more damage than using multiple level 3 Quickenings). In addition, if a certain number of Quickenings of a certain level are performed, a Contingency will occur, which is basically extra damage added on to the Quickening chain. I really don't intend to get numbers for these due to the randomness of the performing the Quickening (it's part skill, part speed, and all luck) and the randomness of the damage, but if you really ask nicely, I might try to. I might also stab my eyes out with a clothespin, but I might get the damages as well!

Statuses, both positive and negative, play a large role in FF12 in-game. All positive statuses except Berserk have a 100% hit rate; all other statuses have a hit rate equal to the base (Minimum is about 40%) + caster's MAG - target's VIT. Duration of effects is similar: Base +/- a component of the character's VIT, with positive statuses lasting longer on higher VIT, and negative statuses lasting less time with higher VIT. A list of statuses is as follows:

Positive Statuses
Haste: Boosts speed by 50%
Berserk: Boosts speed by 100%, boosts physical damage by 50%, seals all commands but the "Attack" command
Faith: Boosts magic effects by 30%
Bravery: Boosts physical damage by 30%
Protect: Reduces physical damage by 25%
Shell: Reduces magical damage by 25%
Regen: Recover an average of HP = 0.5*CLvl every 1.5 seconds (range = 1-CLvl HP recovered)
Invisibile: Will not be targeted by enemies that must visibly acquire targets
Bubble: Doubles MHP
Lure: All enemies will focus on the afflicted character
Reflect: Reflects most magic attacks back at user
Float: Prevents characters from being harmed by traps
Libra: Allows user to see traps and enemy stats

Negative Statuses
Slow: Lowers speed by 50%
Sap: Drains 10 HP each second
Poison: Drains 16% MHP every 12 seconds
Petrify: Counts down from 10 to 0; at 0, character is turned to stone; counts down 1 integer every 4.5 seconds
Stone: Character cannot act or be targeted
Doom: Counts down from 10 to 0; at 0, character dies; counts down 1 integer every 10 seconds
Blind: Physical accuracy drops by 50%
Oil: Triples fire damage received
Disease: Sets character MHP = CHP
Confuse: Character randomly attacks allies, including self; broken by physical damage
Sleep: Target cannot act; broken by damage of any sort; while asleep, target takes 50% more damage
Disable: Target cannot do anything except move
Immobilize: Target cannot move, but may still act
Silence: Seals magic casting abilities
X-Zone: Character is unavailable until the area is exited
Stop: Character is frozen and cannot do anything
Reverse: Reverse the effects of healing and damage on a character

Some statuses cannot be cast concomitantly. If one already exists, casting the other status will do nothing. These statuses are: Disease and Bubble, Doom and Petrify, Confuse and Berserk, Lure and Stop

All levels for this topic are taken at 60, and assume about 75% of the optional stuff is completed. I figured this was pretty fair, and should be similar to what someone normally gets on their first playthrough.

Writeup Graveyard / Axl (vs. Cador)

« on: July 25, 2009, 12:22:47 AM »

Axl's proven himself to be much more powerful and capable than he looks at first glance - with a victory over the weak monk Rauny, Axl's started his run to dominance and upgrading to the same division as his compatriots X and Zero. And while his last battle was a relatively challenging match, this next one isn't going to be anywhere near as tough - Cador is slower, and noticeably weaker than Axl's last opponent. In fact, there's not much to really say about this - with his Manhunter, Axl can strike at Cador with impunity, and a single use of his Hyper Mode will prevent Cador from ever landing a single blow on him. A quick Action Trigger - the esoteric Ninetails, in particular - should knock out the Death Knight with little trouble. It's not going to be a problem winning his way up another division - with opposition like this, nothing can stop the expert Maverick Hunter.

Writeup Graveyard / Chu-Chu von Richten Chuchilla (vs. Garet)

« on: July 25, 2009, 12:06:56 AM »

Might makes right of course - the might of a giant furball sitting on the opposition is a sight to behold, as well as a punishing force of nature. Towering above her opposition, Chu-Chu's started her run out of Light, but if she's to finally make it out of the miserable pit of failure she's stuck in, she'll have to take down last season's champion in a battle of strength, speed, and furry fetish nightmares! Fortunately, with the backing of her giant form, this shouldn't be a problem. Even Garet's fire psynergies and startling resilience (for a teenager) won't be able to whether the fuzzy storm here. For every Pyroclasm or Heat Wave, there's Chu-Chu's Forest Dance, and not even the tough Garet can stand up to a 10 metre foot slamming on to his head. While usually, "the bigger they are, the harder they fall" is a detriment, such is not the case here - fried pancake adept anyone?

Writeup Graveyard / Jin UZUUUUUUUKIIIIIIIIIII (vs. Euram Barrows)

« on: July 18, 2009, 02:06:42 AM »

Well, here we go. What can possibly be said about this match-up? Euram Barrows is quite possibly the worst fighter this side of Jogurt - anyone with combat prowess above that of Ramus Farmain shouldn't have much trouble taking down the aristocrat in a one-on-one battle. Especially when you're backing your words up with a plethora of deadly sword techniques, high speed, and a mix of supporting ether skills. Not that it's likely Jin will need them for this fight - a single Gale Strike will end this battle in an instant, not necessitating any further explanation as to why Jin is the superior fighter in this duel. Really.

Writeup Graveyard / Nash Rumack (vs. Nina Noreen Windia II of Windia the Second Kingdom 1000 Years )

« on: July 18, 2009, 02:00:35 AM »

It's been ages in happening, but the man, the myth, the legendary Nash Rumack has finally found his way into the denizens of Heavy! The Magical Weapon himself is poised to match the position of his great mentor, Ghaleon himself - just another lucky season, and he's good to go! And with such simple competition, a victory like last season's isn't far off. Nina is slower and has no way to stop Nash's potent Magic Box, silencing Nina and sealing all her magic away. Or, a quick Sleep shot will put her out and set her up for a death-dealing Starlight Bow attack. Alternatively? Maybe a Confusion attack, followed by a petrification spell to turn her into a statue? Seriously, the great Nash is worthy of something a bit more challenging than such a simple match like this? Is this division really going to fall as easily as Middle did last season?

Writeup Graveyard / Ghaleon (vs. Assholeless)

« on: July 18, 2009, 01:38:11 AM »

Time. To. Die. Another upgradee, another slaughter. Ghaleon really needs to start charging for this job. The Magic Emperor has once again been given a pathetic opponent to fight this season's opening, but that doesn't mean he's not going to make it a less than spectacular fight. Even if his opponent is frailer, with inept offensive capabilities, no special tricks to keep her afloat, and no chance in hell of breaking through the great Magic Emperor-turned-Dragonmaster's vast array of defensive spells. A single Chaos Shield will block everything the Mystic-freak throws at him, and while his patented Fate Storm is out of play here, a full on offensive with his deadly sword attacks backed by the draining power of his Syphon Soul will be more than enough to oust this pest from Godlike. Only the truly worthy belong here, Asellus - and you, Mystic Girl, are not one of them.

Writeup Graveyard / Xorn Harris (vs. Nel Zelpher)

« on: July 18, 2009, 01:28:53 AM »

LOVE HAS NO...ah. You know, all that depression and hate has gotten old. Really, really old. Maybe a new look is in order? NEL SHALL SOON KNOW THE LOVE, COMPASSION, AND WARMTH OF XORN THE OMNIPOTENT. It has a nice ring to it, and after this fight, Nel's going to be praying Xorn's up for giving hugs - his extreme speed, powerful attacks, and unique tricks will be more than enough to crush the puny little Aquarian. Nel's Healing? Overpowered by a Death Knell. Her Divine Wrath attack? Not fast enough to keep up with Xorn's array of punishing Thunderclaps and Dimension Gates, nor good enough to take out Xorn in any speedy fashion. Nel's ninja-speed? Dwarfed by Xorn's ninja-on-amphetamines-crack-and-epinephrine speed. Nel's resilience? Not enough, sadly. And really, continuing on with this combat briefing is getting really sad, which isn't part of Xorn's new image. PRETTY KITTIES AND BUNNIES FOR ALL!

Writeup Graveyard / Jenna Angel (vs. Xenobia Ponmerci)

« on: July 18, 2009, 01:00:29 AM »

Transexual transcendence is the word this season. With the returning champion a current member of the ambiguous sexuality clan, it seems high time the mighty 'god' of the Junkyard get her/his/its/WTF chance shine in the sun. Xenobia, leader of the Vile Tribe, packs quite a punch with her mighty Sonic Boom attack, and sports amazing resilience to all damage. On the other hand, Jenna has that and more. Wielding the power of the godlike fusion of Shiva and Vishnu, the divine Hari-Hara, Jenna outlcasses Xenobia in all categories. She's faster, she's more resilient, she's much stronger, and most importantly, her tricks, including the debilitating Debilitate, will easily tip the battle in her favour. A few of her dreaded Bhairavas backed with Debilitate will wound Xenobia enough that she won't be able to even think about standing up to her dreaded, towering orb-enhanced form, which provides nigh-immunity to everything Xenobia can throw at her. Even in sex appeal, Jenna has Xenobia beat - she appeals to everyone, regardless of gender and orientation, giving her a substantial advantage in that category as well. Really, everything is weighed in her favour for this fight - transexual power is strong indeed this season.

Writeup Graveyard / Chie Satonaka (vs. Agrias Oakley)

« on: July 10, 2009, 03:53:27 AM »

It's really hard to argue with the gigantic fist of God slamming into your head, but some people really don't get the hint. Chie's set and ready to kick her way into stardom in her debut match here in the RPGDL Heavy division, and with competition like this, she's bound to go far. Fast on her feet, the slow knight Agrias won't have much of a chance to land a blow on her, while in the meantime, Chie has all the time in the world to land the dreaded "Chie's Hand" upon upon Agrias, crushing her like the bug she is. But this girl isn't some type of one-trick Pony - a quick Skull Cracker should buy her any time she needs to charge herself up, and even her Bufula spells are a threat to Agrias, as they wear her down for a final, match-ending assault. It's time to feel it - feel victory coming closer, one step at a time.

Writeup Graveyard / Zophar McGuiglan (vs. Shania Twain)

« on: July 10, 2009, 03:44:15 AM »

The sounds of a returning champion. The boos. The hisses. The tomatoes being thrown. Yes, Zophar loves the hate - he feeds on it. After conquering everything in his way last season, Zophar is stepping up to school some more weaklings in the art of Godlike dominance. And who better to fight against in the first round than an opponent who fights similar to how his opponent in the finals last season did? Shania's Native American beasts are not anywhere near as powerful as Yuri's demon fusions were, and she's slower than he was to boot, so this is shaping up to be a relatively pathetic battle. A single casting of Hell Storm, or Rainbow Bright, or any of his multitude of powerful magics will end this battle in an instant, once more cementing the place of The Destroyer as the once and future king of Godlike.

Writeup Graveyard / Axl (vs. Rauny)

« on: July 09, 2009, 11:46:53 PM »

It's Axl! Fresh and ready to follow his comrades X and Zero in their success, Axl's armed and ready to go. Sporting the fanciest guns in the entire RPGDL, as well as a mechanical variation of Ryu's dragon morphs, Axl's more than capable of taking down anything that stands in his way, and against the frail muse Rauny, he's more than prepared enough for this fight. Rauny's lightning magic, while normally a horrifying fate for most robots won't phase Axl once he's armed himself with some Thunder Guards, and once she's reduced to her puny slaps, she won't stand a chance of taking down Axl in a straight up fight. Even without electrical resistance, Axl's Stealth Mode prevents him from receiving any damage from Rauny's attacks, giving him all the time in the world he needs to land his strongest attacks, including the foxy Ninetails attack, on the not-so-amused muse. The future is bright for Axl this season - after this easy fight, he'll get a taste of what exactly he's fighting for.

Writeup Graveyard / Tempest Hurrican Tornado (vs. Aerith Gainesborough)

« on: July 06, 2009, 07:15:06 PM »

Swift as a coursing river, with the force of a great typhoon, and all the strength of raging fire, Tempest is back and ready to make a mark on Light like the rest of his fellow cast-mates have for seasons past. His bow and whip ready, the proud warrior is ready to prove his mettle against the best Light has to offer. Unfortunately, he'll have to wait a while for that - Aerith isn't exactly the top tier in Light. Staff whacks won't do much against the fast, strong, and resilient plains warrior. With the range advantage, Tempest can run circles around the Cetra, peppering her with arrows and whip lashes while she tries to fight back. A limit on her end is even out of the question - she's not going to get the chance to get one off while Tempest pressures her with his swift, deadly blows. Victory awaits - and the promise of greater glory waits in the wings for the skilled young nomad.

Writeup Graveyard / Connie Comerci (vs. Chu-Chu von Richten Chuchilla)

« on: July 05, 2009, 03:39:16 PM »

...well, this is something that Connie isn't too familiar with. She's pretty certain she's a dog (though Strawberry Shortcake doing karmic penance for giving the Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak diabetes is also a possibility), but has no idea what Chu-Chu's supposed to be. Maybe a guinea pig? Whatever Chu-Chu is, though, Connie's only got one thing in mind for this fight - win, for the honour of Suikodogs everywhere! No matter how big Chu-Chu is, no matter what odd mystical powers she can summon forth, the fact of the matter remains that she can't argue with a good, hard, rabies-encrusted bite to the nether-regions. No matter what Chu-Chu really is, man's best friend isn't going to lose to it - for love, blood, and honour, the Suikodogs shall ride forth to victory!

Writeup Graveyard / Zophar McGuiglan (vs. Mewtwo Mewone)

« on: June 19, 2009, 09:57:06 PM »

The duties of a God - pleasing the minions and worshippers with yet another example of raw power is so boring, yet so exciting. Crushing posers is one of Zophar's favourite jobs, and crushing this cat who aspires to godhood will be supremely satisfying. Psychic powers against the might of a destroyer? Please. No matter how great his mental shielding is, there is one truth in Godlike - nothing can withstand the mighty of a single Hell Storm, and all Mewtwo's efforts will go to waste. A shame, really, as Zophar's been looking for a real fight all season - but no matter. Easy, breezy, beautiful Covergirl - just the way he likes it - will suffice until he can face some real opposition next week.

Writeup Graveyard / Nash Rumack (vs. Mogilicus "Mog" P. Moogle)

« on: June 05, 2009, 06:02:25 PM »

Check this out! It's time for a special delivery of the awesome hair variety as Nash Rumack, magician extraordinaire, takes to centre stage in the arena after a far, far too long absence. Charged with energy, there's nothing that can stand in his way, not even a series mascot who's just too cute for his own good! While Mog might have the potential to resist or even counter-act Nash's powerful lightning magic, it doesn't even matter, for Nash has a far more powerful trick up his sleeve! Mog had better be prepared to face the wrath of a swarm of deadly afflictations, from sleep to silence to confusion to stone, all debilitating, and all unavoidable fates for the moogle. And backed by Nash's blazing agility, the chances of Mog enduring this deadly assault of debilitating tricks is pretty infitesimal. Really, a slow, weak mascot is no challenge for Ghaleon's greatest student - bring on the big guns, and get ready for Nash to show everyone his moves!

Writeup Graveyard / Muppy Oktavia Wonderchak VIII (vs. Gijimu von Halen)

« on: June 05, 2009, 05:52:03 PM »

Stranded on this backwater planet is not the way Muppy intended it to be. A short conquest, followed by people bowing at his feet...that was what should have awaited him. But no matter - the great, evil, diabolical, and completely adorable Muppy Oktavia Wonderchak VIII will prove to the world that just because things didn't go his way to begin with, doesn't mean that he won't still triumph in the end. Wielding the science and technology of the most advanced POTS in the universe, the backwards weaponry that Gijimu wields seems equivalent to a reed of grass by comparison. Not having had years to perfect his genetic code, Gijimu is a perfect target for Muppy's Puni-transforming mutation ray. A single blast will turn Gijimu into a puny little Puni, easy prey for Muppy's ATOMIC FIRE CANNON New Type "KSMM". Well-shielded in his POT OF DOOM from Gijimu's beatings, there's not much else to say about this fight. Soon, the future emperor of the world will have his day...soon.

Tournaments / THE ULTIMATE TOURNAMENT OF ULTIMATE DOOM II: WEEK TWO!!!!

« on: June 03, 2009, 04:42:38 AM »

What a wonderful first week we had! Several come-backs late in the round, some near-maulings, and sexiness prevailed in (arguably) all cases! So, here are the results...

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Lisa (Weird Science) vs. Jeannie (I Dream of Jeannie) iiiiiii - iiiii
Pamela Ibis (Gust Games) vs. Alma Wade (F.E.A.R.) iiii - iiiiiiiiii
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Raki (Ar Tonelico II) vs. Missingno (Pokemon) ii - iiiiiiiiiii
Klaatu (The Day the Earth Stood Still) vs. Marvin the Martian (Loony Toons) i - iiiiiiiiiiii
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George Washington (Real Life) vs. King Leonidas (300) iiiiiiiiiiiiii - ii
Cole Sear (The Sixth Sense) vs. Melinda Gordon (Ghost Whisperer) iiiii - iiiiiiii
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GLaDoS (Portal) vs. SHODAN (System Shock 2) iiiiiiii - iiiiii
Rachael Ray (Real Life) vs. Emeril Lagasse (Real Life) iiiii - iiiiiiiiii

You'll see these kids again in a few weeks. Now, on to the newest competitors...

Sufficiently Developed Science is Indistinguishable from Magic

vs.

Dr. Strange (Marvel Comics) vs. Dr. Strangelove (Dr. Strangelove)
Honestly, the names just had to be pitted together. Really, do I need any other reason?

vs.

Dr. Horrible (Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog) vs. Dr. Orpheus (The Venture Brothers)
It's a week of doctors with varying professions this week! Dr. Horrible has a PhD in Horribleness, while Dr. Orpheus has a PhD in Necromancy. While neither of them are that successful with the ladies, both have proven themselves more than adept at their preferred specialties. Will Dr. Horrible's tragic hero status overwhelm Dr. Orpheus' side character status, or does will Dr. Horrible discover that his name is more of a description of pain that Dr. Orpheus will inflict on him?

Apocalypse WOW

vs.

Arcturus Mengsk (Starcraft) vs. Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore (Apocalypse Now)
The southern general/dictator is much more coniving and capable than he looks. After all, to survive against the Queen of Blades, a bunch of pissed of Protoss, and other Terrans gunning for him requires a bit of finesse. Of course, finesse may not be enough - his opponent prefers to saturate things with firepower, preferably napalm, and napalm does not discriminate. Will the smooth-talking Mengsk be able to out-do the all-American Lt. Col., or is he destined to learn first-hand what the smell of napalm in the morning is like?

vs.

Lolcat (Internet Meme) vs. Fluffy (Internet Meme)
lol

Historical Pretense?

vs.

Helen of Troy (Real Life?) vs. Anastasia Romanov (Real Life?)
Were they real? Were they fake? We may never know, though Disney and several movie producers may argue the opposite. Both females have caused wars over them - but what can they do when they don't have a military behind them? It's anyone's guess, and as they say, the best fight's a catfight! Or something.

vs.

Yasunori Mitsuda (Real Life) vs. Frederic Chopin (Real Life)
Mitsuda is arguably one of the greatest video-game composers ever. On the other hand, Frederic Chopin actually has a video game he stars in, which not even Mitsuda can claim. A battle of classical versus modern music - who will prove to have the greater musical talent?

The Cake is a Lie

vs.

The Tick (The Tick) vs. Flay Gunnar (Mana Khemia)
For elves everywhere. Despite having used a source twice in one season - this is the only exception I will make.

vs.

Marie Antoinette (Real Life) vs. Bundt (Super Mario RPG)
The cake that got away...all she wanted was for her people to have some tasty cake, and they cut her head off for it. How rude! But now, she will have her revenge on that cursed baked good! The French Queen is fully prepared - knife, fork, and a large quantity of atorvastatin just in case! Of course, not many cakes carry a hack saw with them, so she might have her work cut out for her in that department...perhaps her people would prefer to eat her?

Short form:
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Dr. Strange (Marvel Comics) vs. Dr. Strangelove (Dr. Strangelove)
Dr. Horrible (Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog) vs. Dr. Orpheus (The Venture Brothers)
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Arcturus Mengsk (Starcraft) vs. Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore (Apocalypse Now)
Lolcat (Internet Meme) vs. Fluffy (Internet Meme)
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Helen of Troy (Real Life?) vs. Anastasia Romanov (Real Life?)
Yasunori Mitsuda (Real Life) vs. Frederic Chopin (Real Life)
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The Tick (The Tick) vs. Flay Gunnar (Mana Khemia)
Marie Antoinette (Real Life) vs. Bundt (Super Mario RPG)

As always, a week and a day! This ends next Wednesday, June 10th. GET VOTING!