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Discussion / Re: An Aesthetic Discussion Spanning 17 Years - Andrew vs Pokemon - DAILY UPDATES!
« on: March 20, 2019, 08:46:14 AM »
Togedemaru has cheek pouches too, love. YOU WERE THERE. YOU WATCHED SUN AND MOON WITH ME.
I seem to remember every other day I should be doing this. No double tonight because I am tired.
Buizel: Exists. Honestly, it is a decent looking otter, the split tail is a nice little addition, the arm fins work better than I'd expect for composition and color. The face is really cute with the color toning and the sorta whiskers. Eyebrows are kinda eh though. Hairlick is okay and actually gives its head a bit of fish shape. The floatation ring is the iffiest part of the design. I get what they are doing with it, but I just think it looks a bit awkward. Maybe a little low, but 3/5
Floatzel: I don't like the direction this goes in for the most part. The face patterning is a bit less interesting with how much more even the white is, the little black lines less attractive positioned over where they are, and the dot on the forehead is weird. The bigger, sharper armfins also look worse and the flotation device ends up about the same. The little waterdrop mark on its belly (and the white twin on its back) are kind of cute. And really, for some reason, I do find the floatation less bad here then the choker. Meh. I like it less, but not that much less. 3/5
I seem to remember every other day I should be doing this. No double tonight because I am tired.
Buizel: Exists. Honestly, it is a decent looking otter, the split tail is a nice little addition, the arm fins work better than I'd expect for composition and color. The face is really cute with the color toning and the sorta whiskers. Eyebrows are kinda eh though. Hairlick is okay and actually gives its head a bit of fish shape. The floatation ring is the iffiest part of the design. I get what they are doing with it, but I just think it looks a bit awkward. Maybe a little low, but 3/5 Floatzel: I don't like the direction this goes in for the most part. The face patterning is a bit less interesting with how much more even the white is, the little black lines less attractive positioned over where they are, and the dot on the forehead is weird. The bigger, sharper armfins also look worse and the flotation device ends up about the same. The little waterdrop mark on its belly (and the white twin on its back) are kind of cute. And really, for some reason, I do find the floatation less bad here then the choker. Meh. I like it less, but not that much less. 3/5
Combee: It freaks me out that only one of the faces has a torso to go with it. Are the other two real? I mean, at one level, this thing is utterly impractical and impossible to imagine. At the other, it is kind of a neat take on the bee thing (and I like the anime image of them forming a WALL OF COMBEE). The little female differentiator is cute given this is a gendered evolution. But it is really hard to get over how awkward it looks with its three-headed honeycomb with one bee body. 3/5 But it's so happy.
Vespiquen: That's really not spelled with two e's? It really isn't. Uh... let's see. Always a positive for an evolution when it keeps elements of previous designs (the whole honeycomb thing). The vision is there and exists. Those wings are super tiny though. I dunno. I feel like I should have more to say about this design but I really don't. It's oddly generic all things considered. Regal queen bee thing. 3/5.
Pachirisu: This gen's electric rodent. It's one of the better looking ones I think? There isn't a lot to it, but the blue and white is nice, as is the slightly spikey design to the blue on the head/ears as well as the tail spikes. The yellow cheeks are the worst part of its design I think, not only not blending well with the rest of it, but also way too strongly calling it out as this gen's Pikachu wannabe. I also think maybe doing more with the tail spikes would have been better? But I find myself just feeling fine about this. 3/5
Burmy (Plant Cloak): What's the deal with the swirly bit on its head? The overall design is okay, but that thing kinda bothers me, partly because it just looks gross. But I like the way the leaf cloak looks. It conveys the bug covering itself in plant life well. Unsure what the deal with the little brown sticks are though. I dunno. Its fine. I find it okay. 3/5
Burmy (Sand Cloak): The sand covering is way less exciting and... honestly a bit less sensible than the leaf one too. I kinda feel more rocks would have been good here, as the sand cover is just sort of dull. What makes the leaves more interesting is that there is just more going on there. The three rocks are just meh. 2/5
Burmy (Trash Cloak): Did... did it roll in insulation? I just don't get what they are going for here. At all. Like, I don't get why insulation is the design choice here. And it is as boring as the sand one. 1/5
Wormadam (Plant Cloak): Not awful, but I really liked the more haphazard feel of Burmy more. This is just a bit too neat and comfortable. Which I guess is a direction you can take, but eh. For it being covering, I kind of want it to be more irregular. No perfect balanced flowers and leaves and all that. The "beak" is also a bit goofy looking and oddly bird like. And I really dislike the coloring at the end. It basically distracts from the core design without adding anything. 2/5
Wormadam (Sand Cloak): This is not what I meant when I asked for more rocks. I don't even know what is going on here. The leaves made sense up there, but these rocks are uh... This is just dumb. Should have been rock, not ground, focused. 1/5
Wormadam (Trash Cloak): I forgot to mention. This is steel type as its baby form. NOTHING about the design communicates that. At all. I'm done here. 1/5
Mothim: I don't really like the color blend here, but the wings are actually pretty neat looking structually with their little tassles. The face makes sense coming out of Burmy. I dunno. This one is weird. The entire design more or less reads a bit bland but okay, but I can't help but end up disliking this and I don't know why. Like, none of the pieces really bug me, but the whole assembly does. Eh. 2/5
Shieldon: I look this goofy little cutie. Once again, nicely complimentary colors and a cute little dino body. Also that face. LOOK AT THOSE EYES. The grey bars are a little weird, but I do like the solid frill quite a bit. The single grey nail on each foot is a bit weird, though, as is the little single piece grey piece on the back. I want to keep it a little lower because of those details, but those eyes are too pure to let me go below 4/5. They see my soul and cleanse my sins.
Bastiodon: You are less cute. And your eyes are less pure. The castle frill is right on the border of being too obvious, but I think they play it down just enough that it works. And I have to admit, that is a face that looks like it can take a goddamn hit. The additional growth on the legs and back are pretty good, though the way the coverage drops down on a single rectangle to the tail is weird? But I do like how rough it all looks. Honestly, I think the eyebrow nosebone is the worst part? I think it is just one step too far and really makes the space around its eyes look too busy when combined with the tractor teeth. 3/5
Cranidos: I wish I had something more exciting to say, but I really don't. It's okay. The colors are nice and complimentary, the body shape is okay, it looks a lot like its source so isn't too exciting. It is a cute little headbutting dinosaur. Its art crushes both the sprites and model? Like, a lot. 4/5
Rampardos: And now it looks kinda stupid. The more cone look to the head is way less clean looking than the dome. The horns look.. utterly useless based on the dome. The whole hunchback thing is clunky looking (and the raised spine look that sinks down to the neck is weird). I mean, I get what they are going for, but I feel like there must have been a better way to do it that didn't look quite so janky. Oh, and the knee spikes. What even are those? 2/5
Shinx: Honestly I think I just hate electric types. I should go back and see if this is true at this point. This is just kind of... too much. Half and half color scheme with three different random tufts and weird ear crosses and multi-ring eyes and little ankle bands and a tail topper thing. It's just a lot and none of of it is really cohesive. The yellow speaks electric, but why... pretty much anything I listed previously. This design is just pulling in a ton of different directions. It isn't the ugliest but it is pretty much a hot mess. 1/5
Luxio: A shame the design is such a hot mess considering this is one of the better jobs GameFreaks does of just nice progressive grown on an evolution. Pretty much all the same elements, just... more. Also its mane beard makes me think of the amish. 1/5
Luxray: And suddenly red eye. Probably should have introduced that element a bit earlier. This is probably the best looking Shinx gets, and that's mostly because the growing in black serves to add a lot more coherency to the design by actually blending its elements. The sweep of all the tufts is also guided now instead of going just like... every direction. The receeding black on the back actually looks better here because, again, there is like, actual design being done in the way it hugs the legs. Ehhh. Its enough of an improvement over the other two I'll let it scrape by at 2/5.
Budew: Is part poison. I honestly didn't know that. Or that Budew -> Roselia -> Roserade was an evolutionary line. The fuck. Uh. Budew exists. It is a very boring plant thing but not actively offensive? 2/5
Roserade: I honestly thought this was independent of Roselia and there were just two rose pokemon for some stupid reason. Uh. What did I say about Roselia? One sec, please...
Kreicketot: It is... slightly less stupid than Volbeat and Illumise? The colors are more complimentary and the design is a lot more cohesive. It's a little less ridiculously fat. The little cape on its back is almost clever as wings/wing covers. I don't really like it, but I feel bad scoring it at the same tier as the other two humanoid suit bugs, so... 2/5
Kricketune: There's... an idea here. The string instrument patterning isn't horrifically offensive. The not-quite-scyther arms are cute. The drop down of the head thing to be a mustache is a choice. The little... ear danglies exist? Those are some good bug eyes! Yeah, I got nothing. he's kind of a stupid mess. 1/5
Bidoof: He's fine. His little tail bulbs are kind of weird. Otherwise he looks like a slightly stupid beaver. Boring but not actively offensive is fine for a 3/5 with my ears hurting the way they are right now.
Bibarel: I kinda forget you exist. But hey, there is the tail. All around the different proportions on the face (and the little "mask" of fur) end up making it look a bit stupid and honestly less interesting (marginally) than Bidoof. So, since that was already borderline... 2/5
Starly: It's a birb. 2/5.
Staravia: Why did you make the cowlick stupider? Bird body is decent and the color patterning up on its face and chest are pretty near with divisions that look less asinine than Starly's collar. The pattern going flat over its eyes makes it look... I dunno. Nerdy? Like it has a bowl cut. I don't like that. And I seriously don't like the little black on its beak. It is immensely distracting for reasons I do not understand. Kinda borderline annoying me with that cowlick enough, but I'll let it skate by. Sick Andrew is filled with Mercy. 2/5
Staraptor: You're a decent hawk bo- oh you're head feathers you poor thing. I guess the AXE CUT is less stupid than Staravia's deathlick, and the little color dash is a nice change up. The chest feather floof is nice looking and that's a great pattern. I like the own "ears" thing too. But then you have that stupid beak still. Even dumber for the PREDATOR POKEMON to have that doofy ass beak. Also, I'm not going to count it against the design, but what is with the way the wings are bending up at the end? It looks like its flexing feather fingers but none of the other designs seem to do anything of the sort. It's weird. 2/5, I guess going the positive way this time? Andrew giveth mercy and Andrew giveth none.
Piplup: Penguins are stupid fucking animals. 4/5
Prinplup: Seriously, fuck all penguins. 2/5
Empoleon: Fuck them and their stupid suits. 1/5
Chimchar: The hips don't lie (Shakira, Shakira). It looks fine. Kinda boring honestly, outside the fire butt. The little chest swirl is nice, the colors are good. The fur on top of its head looks a bit stupid and doesn't convey fire quite as well as it wants, I think, but it isn't bad. I am biased against filthy apes though. 3/5
Monferno: Suddenly blue mask. It doesn't look bad. It's just weird. This basically works out the same as Chimchar in that it works and is kinda boring, but I find myself hard-pressed to complain. The blue is weird though. 3/5
Infernape: And suddenly the head is on fire and the blue is gone. The white spread is nice though and makes for a pretty good color combo. The gold is a bit of a surprise since Monferno picked up a little stripe and that was it, but sure, it works. Honestly, it's a better design than I remember it being. The gold thing on its chest being a wraparound is weird? I dunno. This is striking that spot JUST before being overdesigned for me. Blagh. Kinda torn on score this one, so will score it 4/5 for the moment.
Turtwig: His jaw hinge is a bit weird. Design is kind of a bit boring outside of that. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, but it doesn't excite me too much. The twig on its head is a little weird too, especially given where this evolution goes. The starburst on the headtwig and feetyellow are a bit weird. Let's call this one average. 3/5
Grotle: Suddenly, anklyasaurus! However that is spelled. Conceptually I like the design here, but the details kinda kill it for me. The yellow socks are dumber looking here than on Turtwig (should have kept the jagged edges) and the bushes only growing on 2/3 of the back ridges is weird. Plus that little line in the middle of its torso is dumb. And we again have a bit of an issue with the fact that this evolutionary line isn't a very clean Stage 1 -> 3 movement which is lame. 2/5
Torterra: Evolution color shift go. The colors look good here, I just wish it wasn't such a bit jump. That said, Torterra is fucking rad. There are definitely elements to the design I don't like (cheek spikes, black beak) but that shell is super cool with its rock garden design. Like, it is just a really great concept and in practice looks pretty good too. And look at those rough, stompy legs. Torterra never skips leg day. I do wish the shell was a bit better blended with the back instead of shell being an extra thing over the armor plates, but whatever. This is early on and I'm in a good mood. 4/5
Linoone: Uh. Yeah. Pretty boring. Not actively offensive. It deserves about this much attention. 2/5
Kyogre: Well, its fin fingers are less stupid than Lugia's wing fingers? I actually kinda like Kyogre, honestly. The geometric patterning is pretty mellow and mostly used to nice accent parts of its body. The shape is an excellent fish shape that actually has a lot more orca in it then I realized now that I think about the white spots near its heard. I have no idea how I've never noticed that. It also makes sense with the teeth when it opens its mouth. The fingers really do suck and I wish they weren't there. The tail... flag is also a bit weird. I don't hate it, but I think use the sharp pointed tail with it looks weird and with the main body potion was also flat. That back fins are neat but the red outline creates this issue where it looks like he's wearing a waistcoat. I guess ultimately I think there are just too many little flaws holding it back, so 3/5 for you.
Groudon: You actually look better than I thought. The really awkward hunched back is lame, but the overall coloring and shape is good. The head ridges and tail... claws? Are weird and distinct. I think the amount of spikes on the side are overkill and probably something else to break things up would have been better. How flat his body is in the game is in the official art is kind of interesting, kinda making me think of a worm more than a dinosaur... which works here. To my own surprise, I think the design just comes together a bit better than Kyogre. 4/5
Rayquaza: He looks perpetually surprised. There's a lot I really don't understand in this design. The little fin rings are stupid (especially the two fin one on the shoulder). The lipstick/red teeth. The little stick arms and ball shoulders. The topmost horns that come out of the neck. Even the coloring is just a lot less satisfying than the other two. He isn't... quite pure garbage - I really dig the head shape for examples - but he is cloes. 2/5
Jirachi: Is a pretty good humanoid poke. I like it. It's got the same sorta mystical look that Gardevoir has going for it. The little ear dangles are a bit weird, and the tags maybe look a little too tag-like (for all that I do think they are necessary for breaking up the amount of yellow there), but it all comes together really well. I guess the little teardrops are a bit odd? I have no idea why those exist. They don't look bad though. Its close, but I don't think it quite makes the top for me, so let's go 4/5.
Deoxys (Normal): Of course the last thing I have to review this gen is a four form jackass. Sigh. I don't like Deoxys much, but I don't actually hate it and I'm not sure why. I guess the idea that it is supposed to be an alien pokemon helps it a bit here since it overall shape and ocntent wise still looks "pokemon to me" and I'm willing to give a bit of leeway for the affectations that are a bit weird. Like the head fins or the leg flares. The color is pretty nice. I feel like I should hate this, but I really don't. Whatever. 3/5.
Deoxys (Attack): Basically takes the normal design, but looks sharper. I think the additional black here doesn't work as well, but overall I like this marginally better than normal. Also the tentacles look better hanging loose instead of DNA spiraled. Still, the likes are just barely over Normal, so we'll count it as 3/5 too.
Deoxys (Defense): I think this is my favorite? I think the thicc design best features its... features. It also has the least obnoxious points and other things. The kneepads are a bit weird though. I really love the head/shoulders/arms area though. Just a good hulking monster design. Still not enough to get us out of 3/5.
Deoxys (Speed): This one I hate. I get the idea with it shedding most of its layering, but it just looks so stupid, especially with those massive hip things and the idiot speed skater hat. The reduction to one tentacle on each side also makes it look really... underdone? Lacking? The stupidest things on this design are so prominent though. I think this actually goes down to 1/5 for me.
Regirock: Yep, he exists. His backspines are kinda lame. Color isn't bad and I guess I like the braille eyes or whatever. 3/5
Regice: Being made out of a bunch of different icicles is a downgrade from being a pile of rocks. It just looks less like a conglomerate of ice and more like a bunch of crystals stuck together. Also the feet are extra dumb. Just decisively like the clunkiest, most awkward looking of the Regis. 2/5
Registeel: Man, why is Regirock the only one of you that doesn't have stupid legs? The little flare out hips to table legs are kinda goofy. As are the totally round shoulders. Like, I kinda like the shell metal design here and the colors are great but overall I just end up liking it slightly less than Regirock. Stop making piles of rocks have some of the more appealing shapes. 2/5
Latias: Colors fine. Big expressive eyes are cute and I like the ear things and the little head mark. The bug arms are kinda offputting though. The tail fins work pretty well up until I look at the sprite from behind and I'm kinda unsure what to do at that point. It is just a mess back there with how everything lines up. Probably needed the back wings to be more along the back instead of grouped at the end? I dunno. Mercy 3/5 for the adorbes face.
Latios: Yeah, it is just that they end up looking really ungainly for supposedly being inspired by jets. Uh, largely second verse, same as the first. There ARE differences in them, but conceptually what works and doesn't are largely the same thing if you replace cute with DETERMINED. 3/5
Bagon: Lookit the little adorable t-rex dragon with his stubby arms. The head shell is kinda weird, but I don't hate it. I also don't really like the overall color scheme, but it isn't terrible? Those ears are fucking dumb though. I guess the nub arms and hoof feet are kinda lame too. I dunno. All the little elements don't bug me that much when taken together. He'd probably look better with a tail. I think this manages 3/5.
Shelgon: We once again are forced to ask: what is dramatic color changes between evos? From blue and tan to black and red. Why? I kinda like this guy a bit more than I should. I think he'd look better with a tail or the back totally closed, but egg with angry eyes and little nub feet works. 3/5
Salamence: And back with a brighter blue than Bagon plus the red from Shelgon. I like him. He's a dragon-y dragon. Probably the worst parts are the stupid face fins and those awful, awful wings. What are they even? Just Red sheets glued to his back. Everything else is kinda nice though. A lot of carryover from his previous forms (the various coloring, head ridges, the shell remaining on the belly). And honestly the thicker bodied lizard dragon thing is pretty cool. Also I seriously think that is one of the better tails in all of pokemon for lizard-y type tails. But man those wings are awful. Dream big, but maybe next time sprout better wings. 4/5
Beldum: I have no idea what to make of Beldum. I guess it is a neat, non-organic pokemon? It certainly looks distinct and odd. Sure, I'll give it a weird mercy 4/5.
Metang: You on the other hand... It's the nose. It really looks stupid. The rest is fine, but the nose and the I guess like... side hair spikes are atrocious and I can't stop looking at them. 2/5
Metagross: Why does Gen 3 have two... whatever the lategame 3 stage evos are called as a group anyway? Anyhow, you know what, I actually think Metagross looks great. A nice kinda alien looking inorganic thing. The psychic typing is a bit mysterious, but eh. There is just a very nice clean progression here with the merged Beldum design. And he traded the stupid nose for a decent looking faceband, which is a rarity. Usually they double down on things I hate. I guess if I was gonna complain I'd complain that I don't like the main body being a symmetrical design? I think I'd prefer if the bottom were just flat. But hey. I'll give Metagross a 5/5 because I just realized I like it.
Clamperl: This was a hard one to come back to. I guess its fine? It manages to distinguish itself from Shellder well enough. It emphasizes its existence as a pearl thing mounted in the shell. The colors work well. The shell shape is kinda neat and reminds me of forretress. I'm just not sold on the overall design of it being the little pearl thing being held by a... whatever is holding it. I dunno. This is weirdly hard. I don't hate it. I actually like a lot of its pieces. I just don't feel like it comes together to really wow me. Let's just call it a slightly worse Shellder and be done. 3/5
Huntail: Can we go back to Clamperl? This, Gorebyss, and Octillery are like, three of the worst evolutions in the game for making sense. The color here is hideous if you ask me, color wheel be damned. The overall shape isn't bad (though is its tail supposed to look like Gorebyss?) but the coloring and spots and weird round little backspines just do nothing for me. Also, unsure why it has a headfan. Once I look at the sprites, goddamn is its head big in some of those. 2/5
Gorebyss: Man, fuck this thing. The colors here are better than Gorebyss, but uh... yeah. Why does it have a shell bra? Why? WHY? Also I guess the tail fan looks like the one on Huntail's head. I didn't even notice the eyelashes until right now. And just the weird trilogy of noodles that make up its face. And its head is so goddamn big too. Fuck I hate this thing. 1/5
Relicanth: I actually think of this thing when people talk about coelcanths. It has actually supplanted the real animal in my mind. (And yes, I know theHonestly, outside the back fin (the actual one, not the horn) is the only thing I don't really like. The muddy design is good for its rock-typing, the head looks solidly bony, the little fins are neat. I guess the tail could be a bit more pronounced? The little red dot is neat too. I like this fish. It is very close to the real one, but the head is a really nice and pokemon update so I'll give it the credit. 4/5
Luvdisc: You know what. I think it is bed time. 2/5
Snorunt: Its been a great 2019, see you all next year.
Glalie: I notice the parka is gone. Honestly, this is a surprisingly... consistent evolution from Snorunt, which always surprises me when I think about it. Like, they definitely look really different, but there are a lot of solidly consistent elements. I definitely like Glalie better as a design for all that is a just a floating head covered in ice. But ultimately I don't really think there is anything particularly great here, and frankly it is a really unclear design. Like, the ice part is not even clear unless you know what you're looking at. Also I hate hockey masks. 2/5
Spheal: O/5 (EDIT: Under additional consideration, I have opted to upgrade this score slightly 4/5)
Sealeo: I forgot this thing existed. Like, I was thinking Spheal went straight to Walrein. Go figure. And for good reason. This thing is both boring and bad. The body shape kinda works, but the fins are placed really poorly, creative a fairly awkward looking thing. Like, the tail is just flued onto the end of that fat worm body and I just dunno why those flippers are right there. The mustache isn't bad, but I think it being stark white doesn't work with everything else going on here. 2/5
Walrein: I liked this design more until I looked at it from behind. Like, that tail is worse than Sealo. And the old man hair is atrocious fucking looking. The beard stuff looked better as a face frill and mane, not this whole entire head covering hair thing. The walrus elements are fine (though I think one of its legs are broken in the art) but holy shit that stuff on the back is awful. 2/5 I guess.
Duskull: Much like Shuppet, I like this fairly simple and straightforward ghost design. It is grim reaper ghost. It works. I do think the bones on the back (sweatshirt logo style) are too much though. And it is really hard to notice in a lot of the art, but I find the fact that it only has one eye that drifts between the two eyeholes on the skull to be wierdly neat. A totally small and pointless thing, but neat. 4/5
Dusclops: And then... this happens. Like, I don't... hate the core idea of a cyclopic mummy ghost, I just really don't like the chubby humanoid ghost thing, and it is really pronounced here. Like, he is ultra waddly compared to even Gendar. And I'm not sure what is with those slightly off-color ears and head thing. I dunno. There's clearly something here because despite not liking any of the individual pieces outside of maybe the mouth thing (which kinda nicely follows off Duskull), I don't really hate Dusclops as much as I'd expect. That said, he's still not good. 2/5
Tropius: You are... so weird. I legit forget this thing is Grass/Flying just because it is such a weird choice of dinosaur to model it after for that. That aside, there's nothing really wrong with the design? The banana beard is a bit weird, but it doesn't exactly jar overly badly. I'm just gonna go ahead and give it 3/5 because I dunno.
Chimecho: I actually kinda like Chimecho. The color and patterning is really nice and the shape is mostly okay. I think I'd like it better if its tail didn't look so -exactly- like it was a windchime and more hung down from it without looking like it were glued on, but hey. And look at those helpless little nub arms. It's adorable. 4/5
Absol: Edgy/5
Wynaut: It is a baby wobbuffet. I mean, the design does successfully look like a younger version of it? Or at least I can track like, all of the design choices that lead from one to the other. The head dick looks pretty stupid though. I dunno. What'd I give wobbuffet? 2/5? That works here.
Kecleon: Gen 3 has a lot of yellow highlights and random zig-zags. I get why they exist (breaking up mono-color) but there has to be a better way to do that in most cases. I dunno. I don't... hate Kecleon. I just don't like him either. Chameleons look weird. He looks weird. Those little wings are definitely stupid though. 2/5
Shuppet: I love this little sheet ghost. Giving him a head is a decent choice, and the eye color is surprising cool. A simple design that just works. 4/5
Banette: I like it less than Shuppet. The design isn't bad, but I just find it less clean. I just have no idea what is going on with Banette's head shape. Why its eyes look like that. Etc. The concept (possessed doll) is solid, but the actual design feels a bit lacking? Still, the zipper is a nice touch, and I like the limp hands. Not sure what that tail is, though. Chalk it up to another random yellow affectation on a Gen 3 pokemon. 3/5
Anorith: For the longest time I never noticed Anorith's actual eyes. Like, we're talking took until Gen 6 to notice. They aren't too bad here, really, since it makes him look like a cute and doofy little bug guy. The claws kinda bug me because I really don't understand how they are positioned or how they work there, but the overall body shape is pretty good and I go back and forth on like the feather/fan legs. He's fine, I guess. 3/5
Armaldo: The eyes here, on the other hand, look really stupid. He's... not awful, but I just don't like the progresion from Anorith to him, really. Its the same sort of goofiness as Kabutops. The overall shape is fine (though the hell is going on on his back with the little wing fin things?), but I just find myself not liking him and about 90% of it comes back to those fucking goofy ass eyes. 2/5
Feebas: If it is trying to be ugly, can I really score it low for succeeding? Yes. It is a borderline case, but in honor of what it is trying to be (and because those lips are really truly hideous, along with the sort of emaciated lower body) I will give it the desired 1/5. Congrats.
Milotic: The pretty sea serpent is pretty. I think I'd like it better without the odd head horn or if the coloration carried further up its body (or if it managed to maintain a little more of the Feebas look in its evolution) but honestly I really do like this one a lot. I guess I just like flowy designs, and the ear-fins and eyebrows help there, as well as just the very smooth snout shape. Much like its pre-evo it is borderline but I will give it the desired 5/5 anyway.
Castform: The biggest breasts in all of Pokemon. There is nothing else to discuss about this design. That decision defines Castform. Caster the busty fucking ghost over here. Why did I come back to this topic? 1/5
Castform (Sunny): Why GameFreaks? 1/5
: Castform (Rainy): What did I do to you? 1/5
Castfrom (Snowy): This is the best one and maybe it is the suffering talking, but this probably makes 2/5 on the basis of not having giant breasts or being a weather emoji.
Corphish: I liked you better when you were Krabby. Seriously, the idea here isn't bad, but like. You couldn't have spiced the colors up a bit instead of being Krabby 2.0? The head spikes too? And what the fuck is wrong with those pincers. He can pince near his eyes and that is it. I do like how later sprites changed his eyes a bit to make them less dopey. I dunno, I complain, but I do sort of like him? He's cute in a horrible lobster way. I just wish they'd differentiated a bit stronger from Krabby. Also, proper segmentation use for once. 3/5
Crawdaunt: Would it be gauche to make a Jordan Peterson joke? Uh, anyhow. A nice progression on the whole, with a lot of little details that... really bug me. Like the color shift is good. Why was this not Corphish's base color? Calls back to Krabby/Kingler without looking the exact same. And the stripe of blue is a good add, as is the little tale stripe. Just little touches to break things up without being too busy. I have no idea what that star is all about though. Like, it is an evolution of the head spikes but... why? And the feet. Those are creeping me out. Why does he have giant feet and then little... balancing legs? Those legs upset me immensely. They haunt my dreams. Just let him be a lobster. Give him lobster legs, not horror feet. 2/5
Baltoy: I like this little dude. Simple and clean. It's just a pleasant shape and the color is nice and generally good at communicating what it is. He works. 4/5
Claydol: I really hate those stupid arms. Everything else here is pretty cool (though we could use a bit more color continuity) but those arms... Honestly, I tell a bit of a lie. The shape just isn't as aesthetically pleasing as Baltoy, but I really do like the mult-eye design. Sure, let's just say slightly worse than Baltoy, but still kinda cool. 3/5
Lileep: Feather dusters are cool. Lileep... ah... I like Lileep, but I'm kinda hard-pressed to justify it. The overall design is just really weird. I guess it sorta imitates another thing with hair, keeping its gragile face safe inside the cup (explaining the general layout of the body and the yellow "eyes"). The segmented neck/stem is kinda lame though and the color combination just doesn't super work for me. Are yellow and purple agreeable colors with pink? I dunno. *tosses hands up* I guess it also doesn't super convey its plant typing well given the petals look more fleshy than anything. Mercy 2/5.
Cradily: An improvement. The colors work better here and the overall design is more interesting with a clearly imitatory look going down. Still kinda unsold on the petals? But definitely an improvement. 3/5
Lunatone: Honestly, the duckbill is the only thing here that really upsets me. Psychic rock moon. I can do with that. The body works with a little roughness, the eyes are sufficiently weird alien to make the design work, but that duckbill is really stupid. Like, I don't get it. Why? I was gonna rate this dead average, but the longer I look at the bill, the madder I get at it. WHY? 2/5
Solrock: I actually thought I hated this one more, but the Sugimori art is pretty decent. Same caveat as Lunatone really. Psychic rock sun with an alien twist works. My biggest complaint is the stupid eyelash things around the eyes. What is it with this pair and having something stupid added to them? I think a more uneven distribution of the little rocks rather than a full circle along its vertical equator would have worked better. All annoys me way less than Lunatone's duckbill though. 3/5
Barboach: Go little dildo-fish. Be the hero we need but don't deserve. Pleasant colors, nice fin placement. The more I look, the more I like, but it doesn't quiiiiite feel like it deserves top marks. 4/5
Whiscash: 
2/5