Messages

51

General Chat / Re: Books

« on: September 19, 2018, 06:54:56 PM »

I picked up Nevernight (and the sequel Godsgrave) because the author, Jay Kristioff, had written some neat Japanese-Western fantasy novels years back that I remembered liking, and the third book in this new series had recently come up.

Holy unexpected smut, Batman!

It's limited but it's far, far more graphic than the fade to black kind I'm used to seeing in my fantasy novels. Unlike a lot of the prurience in fantasy novels, though, the book actually does prepare you for it in that it's a book about a goddamn assassin school and if you think you're going to be protected from the realities of life in order to "enjoy" this, well, prepare to psychologically experience what happens to your bowels when someone slices you open.

So anyway, despite the gore and sex, it's not as gratuitous as it could be. I don't find the details especially distracting because they fit within the story (it isn't sex or violence for the sake of it - well, any more than reading a story about a working assassin should be). The story itself is surprisingly mundane. Well-to-do girl's father is murdered and her family torn apart as part of some political scheme. Girl plots revenge. Girl finds means to revenge and does everything in her power to act on it. Things are more complicated than they seem. Tragedies befall her. She powers on. Also there is some magic. Not, like, Harry Potter magic. Visceral magic, and religious magic.

What really works for me (and did work for me in his original work, I imagine) is what I appreciate in some of my favorite authors: turns of phrase. You will get analogies like you never believed could exist here, drawing on the lore of the world but in a context that makes those strange fantasy words not seem so strange. As you might expect for a book so centrally about death, the humor is off-beat and dark. There's a core mystery about the girl's subtle powers and what happened with her family that pushes her along through the story (revenge is still a powerful motivator for her, but that really can only drive you so far).

Overall, not the best books I've ever read. They don't do anything especially clever with the plot or characters. But... I enjoy the world building - not just for the world, but for the way in which it is built and communicated to the reader. I appreciate the inversion on expectations - there's a certain level of polite decorum that comes packaged with other stories about warriors and assassins, but not here. I very much appreciate, even though they do come out somewhat trite sometimes, the writing exercises that are exposed via mirrored scenes and dialog, and very closely held character and tonal "voices" that tell you what you need to know by word choice and context moreso than by actual vocabulary.

So if you can tolerate some gore and sex, I'd recommend them. Those two things don't dominate the text (it's not some masturbatory storytelling where everything is an excuse for violence or pornography) but they are there in a way where you won't be able to read the book if you don't want to read those things.

52

General Chat / Re: Books

« on: August 31, 2018, 10:38:42 PM »

The most important recommendations on this list are probably the Malazan Book of the Fallen and literally anything written by Guy Gavriel Kay. I can and eventually will go into a lot more detail for my reasons, but the short version is, both guys have some fairly "close-to-home" things in their novels, albeit for very different reasons. There are points in these stories where I have been moved, and while I'm increasingly a sappy doofus in my old age, being moved by mass media in any form or context is.... not something that usually happens.

I also enjoy both authors, but for me it's because they tell very emotional stories with oblique allusion and excessive prosody. I like poetry, clever turns of phrase, being asked to remember and recall in order to put together why character actions rightly convey such tension, and the vague acknowledgment of the magical aether that supports the world.

53

Discussion / Re: DLCon 2018 recap thread

« on: August 21, 2018, 12:28:42 AM »

Our train was delayed 6+ hours due to a trash fire there; I had to call out of work because I didn't get home till 6:30am.

I stand by what I said on Facebook: this is the most super update ever.

54

General Chat / Re: Good Morning 2018: 3 More Years...

« on: August 08, 2018, 06:20:10 PM »

I'm really sorry, CK. That's a load of shit you're dealing with by yourself. I'm impressed you keep yourself going, you have an amazing amount of fortitude. I know you've been struggling with this fog, and things like it, for a long time. I'm glad you have moments where it lifts, even if they themselves are stressful and emotional. It's been nearly a week since you posted and I hope the fog has stayed out of the way in that time.

I am not trying to prescribe or compare or hijack with my own experience. I just recognized some of the places I've been in the past and thought I'd offer a piece of my map, so to speak. Tiny text for personal story time.

Speaking as someone who has personal experience with therapy, therapists, medication, and struggling to accept that anything could be solved by those things, I can definitely say that your experience is individual. General you. I have seen literally dozens of therapists and found 2 that really worked out, both of whom happened to be students with a finite end-point on our therapy relationship. My prescribing doctor is definitely not someone I trust, but he's the one with the prescription pad and it's helped to have the years and years of fighting with and for myself to tell him what I need rather than hope he can figure it out (he can't). That said, I am in group therapy and some of the people there have had success with their first touch in the system. Some are still in asynchronous treatment where both medication and therapy are called for but they're only getting one of them.

I struggled a lot with getting over my entrenched belief that this is just how I am, this is how I deserve to be, this is what it is, there's nothing I can do, even if I did it wouldn't matter. It took me some severe breakdowns to get to a place where I could at least put all those feelings aside and talk to someone. (It didn't work, so I had to do it three more times before it did, but so it goes sometimes.) The group therapy I'm in is rooted in DBT, dialectical behavior therapy, and it's been interesting. I resisted the hell out of it the first couple weeks I went, did it to appease the second therapist I've ever liked because she suggested if I didn't it was a sign to step back from therapy for a while because I wasn't ready to take treatment seriously, but despite the dumb worksheets and infantilizing acronyms it's really a great framework for someone like me, someone who craves a logical approach to the illogical.

I like that it is a meditative approach. The worksheets and the acronyms and the skills with their dumb names are built around principles meant to quiet the mind and allow for an analytical but accepting look at the crisis/stress/emotion/urgency that helps defuse their power and help you redirect your energy. The tools and skills DBT teaches help process those feelings and challenge them for a truth rooted in the universe. It's not the same as a universal truth because DBT holds that there isn't one, that everyone's experience is their own, but that sometimes the truths we tell ourselves are on flimsy foundations that become self-evident and collapse if we ask it directly, "Are you serving me? Is this helping me in the short term or the long term?" There's not so much a bad and good as there is helpful now (even if it's something like self-harm or withdrawal, because punishing ourselves still leads to a kind of helpful reinforcement while also holding on to all the destructive, short-term elements) vs helpful long-term. (n.b., I'm still new to this thing, but this is what I've taken from it so far)

If any part of that sounds like it could be helpful, I'm happy to help find more specific resources. That said, just about every aspect of DBT is available somewhere on the web for free, including variations that address specific diagnoses. DBT was ostensibly created for borderline personality disorder, but it's been really useful across a spectrum of concerns, including depression.

I'm glad you posted something, I'm glad you can at least talk about it with the DL, and I hope you know you always can.

55

Discussion / Re: An Aesthetic Discussion Spanning 17 Years - Andrew versus Pokemon

« on: June 25, 2018, 08:45:52 PM »

Lunatone and Solrock:

Barboach:

Whiscash:

56

General Chat / Re: Books

« on: June 11, 2018, 11:01:14 PM »

Yo I am in need of some Fantasy Bookes for summer reading.  Suggestions?

The Fifth Season, N.K. Jemisin. Not sure if anyone's talked about her here, but I thought this book was really neat. It won the Hugo for best novel. It does something fun with shifting perspectives (i.e., second vs. third) and characters. It has some stumbling points, but if you can make it to the end then I think you'd also like the sequels, The Obelisk Gate (this also won the Hugo) and The Stone Sky (finalist for this year's Hugo).

57

General Chat / Re: Books

« on: June 06, 2018, 06:49:40 PM »

Also note that despite John Scalzi being the evil Pope of SJWism according to the Sad Puppies later, this book really doesn't qualify.  It's not about an agender mixed race protagonist attempting to overthrow a thinly disguised metaphor for European imperialism or anything (if you WANT that, check out Ancillary Justice, of course), it's exactly the kind of crazy adventure that the Sad Puppies theoretically want.  But I guess they really don't like his pithy blog posts.  Well sucks to be them I guess.

I'm only around a month late for this reply, but whatever. If you want the real SJW stuff, read Lock In and Head On. I won't say more because the discovery is half the fun. They're interesting near-future SF crime drama books from the PoV of the inspectors.

The Dispatcher is also a quick read (which it should be since it's a novella that was written to be an audiobook first) SF crime drama that's probably worth the two hours it would take to get through it. I only read it, but the audiobook was supposed to be a great experience too.

58

Discussion / Re: An Aesthetic Discussion Spanning 17 Years - Andrew versus Pokemon

« on: May 29, 2018, 10:00:05 PM »

I was going to make some comment about Grumpig's random cabochons holding up his flesh-pants, but then I read that he may have been inspired by the whole "pearls before swine" thing and now he's a little more sinister than expected and I'm good now.

59

Discussion / Re: An Aesthetic Discussion Spanning 17 Years - Andrew versus Pokemon

« on: April 24, 2018, 07:32:10 PM »

Volbeat & Illumise: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utWrIWq2_tk

60

General Chat / Re: What Games are you Playing 2017?

« on: October 18, 2017, 01:34:53 AM »

Nier: Automata.

I think it will be difficult for me to talk coherently about the game.  There's so much to say!  But I'll give it a shot.  Spoilers follow.  This isn't a game to spoil yourself on, so if you haven't played it, I'd recommend not reading about it.

First of all, the trailer that plays from the title screen.  It is comical how spoilery it is.  There's one clip from the A/B route aaaaand it's the early part of the Eve fight.  Other than that, 100% aftergame territory, including clips from both the C and I believe D endings AND a voice clip of Emil from his superboss fight.  Like.  Those sure are some spoilers.

The sound design is about as good as I have ever encountered in a video game, the overlaid audio tracks fading in and out worked very well all game long, and never better than in the E ending when the chorus comes in.  It was such a beautiful moment.

The game feels like a multimedia project condensed into videogame form.  The various sorts of interludes and ways information are presented, the frequent changes of perspective - the storybook style backstories for the robots, and the stilted back-and-forth of the pods and allowing the player to control characters like Pascal and the oil-carrying robot kid.  All great, weaving the threads of plot and changing perspectives to explore different aspects of the themes of the game.    The ending fakeouts and the presence of multiple endings and a chapter select feature also help in that regard.  Like, you did the plot, now let's finish exploring these ideas more selectively.  Integrating the screen and volume setup into the plot at the beginning, then going straight to the self-destruct feature, sure was a thing.  I loved that the game remembered what I did there during 9S's route.

On that note I also really liked a lot of the sidequests, which were a great mechanism for exploring different perspectives.  One robot feels guilty about all the androids it killed, so commits suicide by jumping off a tower, leaving the question hanging of whether you, 9S, feel guilt for all the robots you killed, and what you are going to do about it.  (Though it must be said, 9S, that if you jumped off the tower, you would survive the fall.)  Another robot presents a "treasure hunting" quest as a pretext to get you to murder robots it didn't like.  It has no remorse.  Do you?

The game does a lot to integrate its themes into the mechanics.  Even hostile robots typically have very short aggro ranges.  Harmless unless you get too close, and maybe you don't know that at first but you quickly learn.  You can spare them easily, if you so choose.  2B's ability to self-destruct on command, the ability to commit suicide by removing your OS chip, make continuing to live a choice rather than an assumption.  "To be" indeed.

One thing I was thinking as I was playing the B route was that I was really disappointed that the game does not explore the idea of 2B and 9S's different perspectives and memories at that point.  I thought it was a missed opportunity, because I assumed that 9S knew more than 2B did - that's what the narrative flow would suggest, and that's how Nier worked, with Kaine's story.  The later reveal that the opposite was true - that 2B was the one with the secret perspective which 9S was ignorant of - was a beautiful subversion.  The latter half of the game, which was about a lot of things but to me mostly about whether 9S could be saved, reminded me a lot of Tsukihime, where in the final route you, the player, know everything there is to know, and the game shifts from being about uncovering the truth to finding (as the back cover of the final volume of Gunslinger Girl puts it) a faint ray of light.

The E ending is a beautiful answer to that question, and is something that could only be accomplished in a video game format.  I thought it worked much better than the (very good!) ending to Nier, because Nier:A creates some separation between the player and the characters, especially in the C route.  In Nier, you sometimes are made aware that Nier has a different perspective than you do (during one sidequest he says that any villager he suspected of being a shade he would kill without hesitation, to keep the village safe for Yonah) he's still something of a stand-in.  And that limits, I think, how much you can care about him as a character.  Not so in Nier:A.  And just when you think you're struggling to save the characters, the curtain is pulled back, you get help from other players.  You have the opportunity to help a complete stranger.  To affirm that just as you mattered to someone else, they matter to you.  To affirm that the characters of the story deserve their happy ending.  That it matters.  It's so beautiful.  I cried, a lot.

Sooooooo....

What'd you choose to do?

61

Discussion / Re: DLC2018 or whatever

« on: October 13, 2017, 07:56:33 PM »

Chances are pretty high I'd be flying into Toronto directly. Unlike Vancouver, where Seattle is much cheaper, Toronto is actually the cheapest point to fly to within a 4 hour drive radius. I'd have to do more research into the cost of rental cars directly from there, but either way, I'm a non-factor for the arriving-at-the-airport thing. Allowing for space in whatever car I ended up in, I could bring people to con location with me (and baby and Andrew).

4th of July is good in theory but in the US it tends to jack up travel prices. Any holiday is good for that! It's also a family holiday for people who do that sort of thing.

As far as locations... I'm pretty open to wherever. I can't commit until I know more about my situation, and I'll always be more likely to make a West Coast con just because of how much easier it is for me (I mean, I can drive my own car for any of those, so), but I like travel. I'm still down for a Vegas con though that location feels more tragic than practical now. Aussie Con would be awesome given my plans to head to New Zealand for 2 weeks next summer anyway.

62

General Chat / Re: Gooooooooood Morning 2017 Edition! No Political Commentary Here!

« on: October 10, 2017, 10:31:24 PM »

Everything is on fire, figuratively and literally. The figurative fires are in my immediate vicinity and also in politics as a whole (local, state, and national, and global), the literal fires are a short drive from me and currently painting my sky with yellow and polluting the air to unsafe levels. This is going down as the most destructive fire California's seen in a while and that's really fucking saying something considering how much this state catches on fire. BUT WAIT - it's still on fire, so there's time for it to get worse! And the winds are picking up again!

I still have no job. Some of the companies have just stopped responding to me which I'm pretty sure is code for 'we don't want you to work here' but how fucking rude. As we get into October/November/December, we get into slow hiring season. It does not, however, change anything in terms of our bills, so, that's fun.

At least my house isn't burning. Knock on wood. Embers travel.

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Discussion / Re: DLC2018 or whatever

« on: September 29, 2017, 05:34:25 PM »

I had a car which got used a few times, but it didn't feel hugely necessary. Mostly just a time saver. (And also because I didn't fly into YVR, I flew into SEA, picked up Gate, and drove up.)

Anywho, if necessary, I can always rent a car. I have surrendered to my life as a designated driver. Plus if babything comes along, I *have* to have a car.

64

Discussion / Re: DLC2018 or whatever

« on: September 28, 2017, 05:36:58 PM »

I'm down for Toronto. I've never been and that always gives a place points.

While I literally have no idea where the world I will be next time, I'd like to try to make it. Babything will be old enough that it won't be such an ordeal to drop her off with the grandparents before we go, or hire a babysitter while we are wherever we are.

Minor thing is that friend and I are planning to go to New Zealand for 2 weeks sometime in the summer (though probably a shoulder season because holy crap airfare, dunno how you Aussies do it). Other than avoiding overlap, that shouldn't interfere. Travel is one thing I am always willing to drop money on.

65

General Chat / Re: Gooooooooood Morning 2017 Edition! No Political Commentary Here!

« on: August 04, 2017, 06:01:16 PM »

One half of my job problem has been solved for me!

I got fired.

Technically they "restructured the department" and suddenly didn't have a marketing manager role anymore. Effective today. Without notice. They paid me severance (1 month) and left me eligible for unemployment, but yeah, I totally got fired.

Not wholly unexpected. Probably the best case scenario short of getting another job first because I was so very close to just quitting anyway. But it still sucks, and it triples the pressure to get a new job ASAP.

66

General Chat / Re: Gooooooooood Morning 2017 Edition! No Political Commentary Here!

« on: August 01, 2017, 03:22:41 AM »

Where did I think I'd be by August this year? Not still interviewing, that's for sure.

I hate my job, I hate looking for jobs, I hate the feelings of self-loathing that come from sucking at finding a new job, and I'm just generally displeased with about 40% of my week.

But other than that, everything's fine in my personal life. We are all relatively healthy. My dad is suffering the effects of 40+ years of manual labor and combat, so he's got some serious hip/spine stuff going on, but no one could say it was unexpected. We are in a sticky situation with our rental in that we don't know if we'll have to renew, really don't want to -- would have been nice to have gotten a new job by now... -- and may not be able to afford to except that we may have to because it's not like anything ELSE around is affordable?

Current feels:

67

Discussion / Re: Is there a politics thread? Guess I'm making one

« on: July 28, 2017, 10:18:53 PM »

POTUS:  Please abuse prisoners while making arrests.  Police: *thunderous applause* https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/891020515980267522

I have seriously checked out of following politics these days other than to comment on people's FB statuses and rant at sympathetic coworkers because it is just a neverending torrent of shit and I need to keep my belief that humanity generally has some redeeming qualities to it.

I want to do something useful but I honestly haven't got a clue what.

68

Discussion / Re: Is there a politics thread? Guess I'm making one

« on: July 28, 2017, 07:01:41 PM »

I agree with dunie. While I'm glad he flipped on this issue, did everyone just suddenly forget how horrid McCain has been these last few months (years???)?  Are we just going to completely ignore that the president threatened a senator's state's federal funding in an attempt to "guide" this (and fucking kudos to her for calling that ridiculous bluff)?

And what about the TWEETING that destablised the LGBTQ military members and supporters, only to be responded to by the DoD releasing a statement saying "now wait a minute"?

What the actual fuck is going on in there?

69

Discussion / Re: Dee Yell Con 2017

« on: July 07, 2017, 11:38:46 PM »

I really want to, if for no other reason than that I want to visit Boston and I don't want to break the chain of DLCon, but I'm still interviewing for jobs and it's not a good time for travel crossing time zones.

70

General Chat / Re: What Games are you Playing 2017?

« on: June 07, 2017, 03:55:38 PM »

About 110 hours into Persona 5. Soooooo gooooood. I have no real interest in ranking it against Persona 3 or Persona 4, but it's a Persona game, and it's what I love about Persona games, and I'm really enjoying the little quirks they re-introduced (well, mostly - demon negotiations and dungeon puzzles can get tiresome) into the series, and the design just makes me so happy.

The worst thing about getting older is not having the time (or energy) to binge on a good game. We've been playing since the game was released on April 4. Two months in at 100 hours is like an hour and a half a day. BOO.

71

General Chat / Re: Gooooooooood Morning 2017 Edition! No Political Commentary Here!

« on: June 07, 2017, 03:48:25 PM »

@DK0 How was Fanime?

--

I hate life these days. Seriously. Work is trying to push me out, and none of my interviews have worked out, and I'm stressed and unhappy and my entire day is taken except for maybe an hour or two some evenings where I get some Persona time in. Literally every other moment is spent at work, dealing one-on-one with baby, or en route to/from either of these things.

72

Discussion / Re: Dee Yell Con 2017

« on: May 19, 2017, 11:19:26 PM »

Still interviewing, still a maybe.

Also +1 Grefter

73

Discussion / Re: Web Host Situation

« on: May 17, 2017, 05:03:49 PM »

Moving sounds good. I don't know anything about hosts but am willing to chip in if money is an issue.

+1

74

General Chat / Re: Gooooooooood Morning 2017 Edition! No Political Commentary Here!

« on: April 25, 2017, 04:36:39 PM »

I feel like I'm perpetually interviewing for new jobs.

But, well, here we are again. Several companies in my immediate area and one big one up in Seattle, which would obviously necessitate moving.

So as usual DLCon depends on that. But it also depends on the new kidthing I've got.

Said kidthing is doing pretty well at daycare. My wallet, on the other hand, is definitely not. For what we're paying, we could rent her her own apartment. I hear that the government frowns upon leaving babies unattended, though, so we've decided to stick with the daycare for now.

I'm still not a baby person but every time she does something totally mundane I go all \o/ yay you! For example, the first best milestone was that she could look at me. Now it's that she can sit up assisted. I swear, if those were my level of standards in any other part of my life, everything would fall apart. But kidthing gets a pass. For now.

75

Discussion / Re: Dee Yell Con 2017

« on: April 24, 2017, 04:03:18 PM »

Soft maybe.

Need to figure out kid-related things and finances. I'm in the middle of interviewing for jobs that would pay me enough that it would be feasible, but, well, see: interviews.

Also if kid does end up having to come with us we will be staying in a hotel, not the house, for everyone's sanity.

ETA: Also should mention that if kid does come along, chances are really, really high we'll be doing more of the tourist-y stuff than we otherwise would. That said, neither I nor Andrew has been to Boston before and we'd want to explore some anyway.