Topics

226

Writeup Graveyard / Yuna>Guv

« on: February 29, 2008, 06:08:28 AM »

Do you know that one song?

Anything You Can Do?

Of course you do.

The parallels for this match are obvious.

Yuna has better monster pets.

Yuna has better damage. Yuna has more healing.

Yuna probably takes both kinds of attack better, between evasion and magical defense.

Yuna is faster.

Yuna has mastered the art of fanservice far better than Guv could ever hope to.

What possible advantage could Guv have ever had?

Well, Yuna has mastered the art of fanservice far better than Guv could ever hope to.

When you're a Toriyama character who bursts into yellow-haired golden-aura superpower occasionally, that is a fairly large positive. Guv may be somewhere under Bahamut's rear right now, but at least he has his dignity. Sort of.

227

Writeup Graveyard / Jade>Celes (Coming up empty for now.)

« on: February 29, 2008, 05:59:15 AM »

I'll...try later, if needed. Just not a match that appeals to me much.

228

Writeup Graveyard / Ted>Ryu

« on: February 29, 2008, 05:57:35 AM »

The power of darkness.

Terrifying.

Magnificent.

And yet, there is something more flashy to be said of the power of the dragon, isn't there?

It's horrific flaming breath, it's massive, flashing fangs, it's terrifying stature.

No, there's no question who is the most impressive in this match.

---

"...doesn't that beat all. I didn't think he'd hold his liquor that poorly." Rei sighed.

Ted, curiously, poked the small grub-like legless lizard in front of him.

No, there's no question who is the most impressive in this match, that's certain.

Ultimately, drunken Pygmy Ryu did score a bit of a moral victory, in that he set Ted's hair and clothes on fire as the curious Ted poked, prodded, and generally acted irrationally curious about him. But the match ended the same way it would have anyways, with an unhappy Ryu passed out on the floor.

The main difference is he probably wouldn't have vomitted the other way.

And he probably would have also been killed, too, instead of just passing out after his dragon form was killed.

Still, overall, it's not so bad. Ryu's pain was dulled, Ted was ogled by a bunch of girls before he realized just how much of his clothes had burned off, and Rei has learned to not subject his friend to chains of impossible-to-say-no-to questions except when it's exceptionally funny. It could have been far worse.

229

Writeup Graveyard / Joker>>>>>>>Kwanda

« on: December 28, 2007, 06:28:20 AM »

Kwanda Rosman.

Impenetrable wall of a man, towering figure in pure steel.

Wielding the unstoppable axe, he was a force to be reckoned with, capable of striking a man to his doom with a well placed blade to the cranium before he know what had hit him.

Fearless, intelligent, courageous, a hero.

Kwanda Rosman.

Dead of heat stroke within a minute of the match starting.

No matter how much you have going for you, you don't take fire well in full plate mail.

230

Writeup Graveyard / Gale>Dart

« on: December 28, 2007, 06:25:46 AM »

A wise man once said "What's in a name?".

Perhaps this match is an example of this.

After all, one would assume that a powerful gale would blow away a small projectile.

Such a object would be struck violently by the whimsey of the wind, quite probably harmed greatly, and would struggle to even strike the mark at all.

Certainly, the dart would have a chance, but by no means would it be large. It would require luck and skill, and the wind would, most of the time, be triumphant anyways.

Of course, names have nothing to do with reality. There's nothing to a name...

But sometimes coincidences are really cool like that, aren't they?

231

Writeup Graveyard / Rutee>Cecile

« on: December 28, 2007, 06:18:39 AM »

This fight was a dilemma.

On Cecile's side was the knowledge that any damage she dealt could be healed.

Rather a depressing thing, when you don't deal that much damage to start with; Cecile was saddened by the idea of fighting for hours.

Rutee was similarly depressed.

After all, she had to tink away at armor several thousand times to defeat her opponent. A recipe for exhaustion, if not carpal tunnel.

So, with some discussion, both sides were able to make a satisfactory bargain that skipped hours of needless toil and made everyone happier, as befitting these two fighters.

Of course, loading up Thomas with aphrodesiac was not only highly immoral, but worked remarkably poorly, but hey, at least Cecile has finally gotten him to kiss her. And in the end, that's all that really matters. To them.

And only them.

If that's all that really matters to you, don't tell me. I don't want to know about it. Seriously.

232

Writeup Graveyard / Lassic>Hilda

« on: December 28, 2007, 06:13:30 AM »

Have you ever seen a demon in flight?

Of course you have, it's a common cliche.

Even the demonically possessed, those of great evil power, can fly easily.

In Lassic's case, he can not only fly, but survive in space.

Sweet, chubby Hilda, however, hadn't really put much thought to the subject, as she proved with her mighty Grand Slam.

An hour later, after being informed patiently four times that it wasn't <i>actually</i> a ringout until the opponent fell, Hilda was very depressed, and crushed.

After Lassic steered the Air Castle into the arena.

233

Writeup Graveyard / Ted>Marcello

« on: December 28, 2007, 06:07:38 AM »

Marcello shook his head, stunned.

One blow?

He'd been struck down by one, single attack?

How was this possible?

It...couldn't...be....

As Marcello slid to the ground, his grip on the cane in his hand loosening, he knew there was only one way to right this indignity.

With the last ounce of strength he had, he hurled his staff into the stands...

---

"Duelling League police are thankfully for the vigilante attempts to subdue the violent beast." Chisato reported, from the ruins of a recently-used arena. "After all, they're currently chronically underfunded, largely volunteer, and this message is entirely unrelated to them taking out ads on this station asking for more charitable donations."

"To recap: Currently the dark monster that rampaged through the arena, shredding Ted's body into lifelessness, has been subdued, and authorities are confident that the beast will not prove a serious threat for some time to come. Marcello has been repremanded for such a punative event, though arguably the dark powers in his staff are not technically his fault, as his lawyers are stating. While the beast is still at large, Duelling League residents are not truly at very much more danger than normal." Chisato finished. "That's a rap. I hate days with actual news." She sighed. "...Damn it, Gilgamesh, I told you to save some of those donuts."

---

"Poshu-SHU! My dark reign will shatter all of those puuuny fools soon!" The evil beast, injured, bellowed into the night sky from her secure, high mountain cave. "They will learn to mess with the power of evil! POSHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

234

Writeup Graveyard / Jenna>Lavos

« on: December 28, 2007, 05:58:38 AM »

Two creatures.

Both indeterminate of sex and sanity.

Both capable of unspeakable deeds to get their way.

Both, in their own ways, horrific monsters.

There was only one way to settle such a match.

A pole-dancing contest!

---

"And remember," Jenna said calmly, tossing the Profound Darkness' battered hulk back into the judges box. "You really need to have enough power to <i>enforce</i> these kinds of matches." She said calmly.

Zio and Endora nodded dumbly in response.

Oblivious to the change of plans, a well-oiled giant-spiney-shelled beast attempted to wrap it's self around a fifty-foot-wide pole.

Ultimately, Lavos lost simply for being unable to adjust to plans quickly, as a Bhairava during it's pole dance proved.

Sadly for Lavos, he lost more when he was voted the Duelling League's Least Sexy Shelled Being.

As of now, Lavos is currently attempting to find and kill Bowser.

235

Writeup Graveyard / Zophar>>>Rolf

« on: December 28, 2007, 05:50:49 AM »

The power of anger.

A dangerous, relentless, unstoppable force.

As one person was soon to find out.

---

The explosion was monumental.

Waves of energy smashed the front rows of the stands to ashen rubble.

The arena center was naught but a crater.

And only one figure stood.

Zophar laughed maniacally.

"<i>Never</i> call me a transvestite to my face." Zophar stated simply, as he walked out of the arena.

Naturally, Zophar's proud of his title. It means his(?) beauty truly is that outstanding.

But villians have a reputation to keep up, you know?

236

Writeup Graveyard / Serph>>>Kinnison

« on: December 21, 2007, 06:23:19 AM »

Yup?

237

Writeup Graveyard / Joker>Pikachu

« on: December 21, 2007, 06:23:01 AM »

Wienerschnitzel.

Yup.

238

Writeup Graveyard / Kwanda>Shiro

« on: December 21, 2007, 06:22:07 AM »

Puy.

o-puyo.

239

Writeup Graveyard / Gale>Arche

« on: December 21, 2007, 06:21:37 AM »

pyupyupyupyupyup.

240

Writeup Graveyard / Dart>Anastasia

« on: December 21, 2007, 06:21:17 AM »

Yupyupyupyupyupyupyupyupyu

241

Writeup Graveyard / Cecile>>>Ninja

« on: December 21, 2007, 06:19:39 AM »

up-Yay.

242

Writeup Graveyard / Rutee>Guy

« on: December 21, 2007, 06:19:17 AM »

Ah-yup.

243

Writeup Graveyard / Lassic>Zerase

« on: December 21, 2007, 06:18:59 AM »

up.Y

244

Writeup Graveyard / Hilda>Sofia

« on: December 21, 2007, 06:18:40 AM »

.puY

245

Writeup Graveyard / Marcello>Rayquaza

« on: December 21, 2007, 06:17:54 AM »

Yap.

246

Writeup Graveyard / Ted>>>Flik

« on: December 21, 2007, 06:17:37 AM »

Yip.

247

Writeup Graveyard / Jenna>Odd Eye

« on: December 21, 2007, 06:15:54 AM »

Yep.

Yep should be my official filler response.

Yep.

248

Writeup Graveyard / Rolf>Emily

« on: December 21, 2007, 06:14:41 AM »

Yup.

249

Writeup Graveyard / Zophar>>>Zio (Too tired to write tonight.)

« on: December 21, 2007, 06:14:07 AM »

So I'm not. I'll grab stuff tomorrow.

At some point I'll also yell at mom for somehow making me need to do pictures right now on a Thursday because she procrastinated half the week. <_<