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Ghaleon vs Rolf Landale
Sage Acrin Ghaleon, after his rather humilating win over Ryu 2, decided not to play anywhere remotely fair this week. As he walked in, he pointed up at one of the screens in the arena, and called out "Isn't that Anna and Shir mudwrestling?". It took quite a while for Rolf to realize it was, in fact, Piastol and Xenobia. And still longer to tear his eyes away from it anyhow. In fact, he never really did, the Fate Storm knocked him out before he had a chance to. Sure, Ghaleon lost a little dignity, but he also didn't have his eyebrows singed off by a Megid... Ghaleon: 42 
TimeLord vs Citan Uzuki (Hyuga Ricdeau)
Sei Imagine the smallest amount of time possible. The time it takes for light to travel a micrometer. The time it takes for an atom to wiggle. The time it takes for then to become now. Got that? Good. In approximately that amount of time, Time Lord was able to cast Overdrive, use a silly amount of Griffith Scratches, execute a boot to the head, perform the dreaded Kur-Li maneuver, draw many funny pictures on Citan's face with a sharpie, and finally, give him a wedgie. TimeLord: 30 superaielman
Draco Ignifer
Dunefar
Ryu vs Yuri Volte Hyuga
Draco Ignifer Yuri has two options. The first is to drain away Ryu's AP using one of the Dark Fusions, then kill him with Seraphic Radiance. And get killed by one Aura when Ryu has the AP to stay transformed, and one Bonebreak after he loses it. The other is to use Seraphic Radiance right off the bat, using his speed and the fact that he doesn't have to wait a round to attack after transforming, and destroy Ryu with For the Children before he transforms. A much better plan, wouldn't you say? Ryu: 25 
Piastol vs Orlandu, Cidolfas
superaielman Orlandu was slightly annoyed. The bomb Edge had planted had been a painful way to end his interview with Chisato, but it was nothing Night Swording a random person couldn't fix. Still... "This Piastol is a fine young lady.." He knew beating her in a fight would be tough, time consuming, and painful. Why bother, when he'd already shown up for his fans and quickly dispatched Xenobia? He's had his glory.. .and besides, there's a Ninja who needs a beating for getting him in so much trouble with the DL's women. Orlandu walked to the his room, and saw a blonde haired woman waiting for him. Her face lit up with joy, a face that said she'd do anything Orlandu asked. Smiling, Orlandu bowed for the woman, and remembered a certain godlike who was racing towards a third title. He knew what to do. -Ring- Piastol stood in the ring, deadly scythe in hand. She was looking around, waiting her opponent to step into the ring and try and take her down. Orlandu wasn't entering the ring. He was going to raise hell. Gesturing to the Geomancers quickly hired for the match, earth and water both filled the ring, turning it into a pit of mud. Piastol looked stunned. "How.. how dare someone do such a thing to me!" She was caked in mud from head to toe. Before she could turn around and look for the offending party.. "How dare you try and hurt Count Orlandu and Lord Ghaleon. Die, wench!" A blonde haired woman tackled Piastol, and brought her to the ground. Before the crowd could so much as blink, Xenobia had slammed Piastol into the mud. This soon degenerated into a shreiking mud wrestling match. Clothes, hair, and pride soon both fled the girls, as the crowd went nuts at this unexpected show. Orlandu shrugged and accepted his loss due to interference from the judges. Shrugging, Cid knew he had done what he wanted to do.. all but one thing, of course. Walking silently, he reached the location of one very transfixed Edge Eblan. He shouldn't have bothered with such stealth, likely a marching band couldn't have gotten Edge's attention. Quickly drawing Excalibur, Orlandu snapped the sword out, and hit the Ninja with the hilt right between the eyes. The force of the blow knocked Edge more or less senseless. Lifting up the prone Edge, Orlandu sighed. "Boy, you can't always use force and trickery to win, and sometimes, you have to lose to win. Don't try spreading those rumors about Excalibur again, either." Showing incredible strength for his age, Orlandu lifted Edge into the air... "Armor won't help the heart stay sharp! Shellbust stab!" The force of the blow stripped most of the clothing from Edge's body, and knocked him right between the two fighting girls. Orlandu then ran as fast as he could over to where the black wizards usually sat... Bowing and nodding, Orlandu quickly made his way to Rydia, who was chatting away with former DL opponent Lulu."Miss Rydia, I do believe there's a sight you should see in the ring." Although Rydia was distrustful of Orlandu, curiousity and worry got the better of her. What had that foul Thundergod done this time? Nodding, she followed Orlandu to the edge of the ring, where Edge was slumped between the two near naked girls. To someone who had just walked in, it looked like a pair of very unclothed and very pretty women were mud wrestling, with Edge in between as much as humanely possible. Rydia's hard suspision of Orlandu faded, to be replaced with anger at a certain Ninja Prince. "Why... that.. PERVERT! And I trusted him!" The summoner's face was set in a look of rage, and she seemed to have completely forgotten the existance of one Cidolfas Orlandu. "I'll show him how much his words meant to me!" Rydia was quickly filling herself with magical energy, enough to make Orlandu's hair stand on end. The time to make his escape was now. Once again bowing to the distraced Rydia, Cid walked out of the arena feeling like a winner. It was time for hit the bar resevered for godlikes, and knock back a few beers with Ghaleon. He'd love to hear this story. Piastol: 24 Hate Hate Hate
Erim vs Limstella
superaielman Limstella's quest for quinessense was met with a very brief end this sweek. You see, Erim has energy, plenty of it. But taking energy from the Mistress of death? Even Limstella knows well enough that stealing from a master of death is an unwise idea. Erim: 32 
Billy Lee Black vs Drachma
Cmdr_King Moments before the match, Drachma was approached by an unidentifiable man in a suit. Suspecting a random assault from the Turks, he was baffled by the strange piece of parchment he carried. "Are you Captain Drachma?" "What be it to ye?" "I have here a restraining order. My client, one William Lee Black, has a standing protective order against all men over the age of 50 due to certain unidentified soliciatations when he was a child." "Speak English, damn ye!" "You cannot go withing 100 Yards of Billy Lee Black or any building he occupies. In fact, if you don't leave right now, I'll be forced to summon a Ninja Death Squad." "Argh, fine. I was plannin' to go fishing anyways." --- Billy knocked back another celebratory grape juice. "So... why do you think he never showed?" Bart smiled crookedly. "I dunno, something about going fishing, I heard." Billy Lee Black: 23 
Momo vs Dehuai
Sage Acrin "Oh, god." Rei said, looking into the arena. "We got another crackpot." He said to Momo, as he watched Dehuai carve mystic symbols into the arena floor. "Does he even realize the fight's started yet?" Momo asked. "No, too busy preparing for it. The person that tried to tell him got petrified." "Hahahaha, it is finished! Now, for the Reverse Demon Gate Invocation!" Dehuai yelled out. "....another crackpot, all right." Both Rei and Momo said at once, slowly backing out to the edge of the arena, and staring at the judges. As the Seraphic Radience decended into the arena, the judges quickly declared Dehuai the loser of the match on multiple accounts, then gestured to the guest judge, a certain Exdeath, who promptly flung both Dehuai and the Seraphic Radience into the Cleft of Dimension. (Or N-Zone, as it is known in some circles.) "Can't I fight anyone normal?" Momo half yelled. "This is getting insane. Who am I fighting next, anyhow?" "A woman who... turns into a whirlwind and turns people to stone." Rei said, trying his very hardest to hold in laughter.... Momo: 39 
Valvalis vs KOS-MOS
Jo ou Ranbu Valvalis didn't quite recover from her capricious mood swings from last week. Sure, Rubicante and Cagnazzo forced her to stay in a nice chamber of compressed air without any bits of Adult Swim - instead, she had to watch a marathon of C-Span and the Law Channel. Which, admittedly, took her out of her Super Milk Chan pump. But she came out... different, to say the least. KOS-MOS, at the arena, adjusted her X-Buster, analyzing the data collected about her opponent. Shion Uzuki awaited anxiously for KOS-MOS' match at the arena, biting her lips and sighing heavily. The Fiend of Wind was slightly late, yes. But it was still within range of her accepted schedule. When she came... ... people were astounded. Yet again. Valvalis was composed, serious. She wore glasses and a straight, discreet blazer. She carried a brown suitcase, and looked at the judges as she approached the arena, with her working clothes. The Lady of Gales glanced rapidly at her robotic opponent and raised her head. She was ready. "I call Shion Uzuki to the tribune!" Everybody was surprised. Even the judges. But she didn't do anything against KOS-MOS using someone else, so it couldn't be considered an outside interference. Shion reluctantly got up and walked to the arena, wondering what the hell was Valvalis about to do. Valvalis grabbed a few chairs, so all of them could be more comfortable. Valvalis sighed and stared contemptly at Shion. They kept silent for a few moments. KOS-MOS was silent and unemotional as her usual. "Now, miss Uzuki, I understand you have an affair with the robotic organism known as KOS-MOS", Val said calmly. "What???!!", Shion blushed. "How did...", then she stopped. "Errr... what do you mean by that?". The red-haired girl was sweating. "Don't fool me. You know that here in the RPGDL, we are very lenient with yuri and yaoi. But the RPGDL Sexual Decency Squad do NOT condone robot and human relationships. On another note, they aren't very keen on animals and other things either, but they have little say on the matter. AND I received a few compromising evidences that will prove your involvement with that little glorified realdoll of yours". Valvalis spoke like a true lawyer, trying to convince the crowd. The crowd itself, though, was too busy dropping jaw after jaw to the floor. The judges popped their eyes. Valvalis opened her suitcase, grabbing a few pictures... and she showed her to Shion. "Now, miss Uzuki... do you recognize these?". Shion's eyes went wide, and she hurriedly nodded with her head. Then, Valvalis showed the pictures to KOS-MOS. "Now, you, my lady KOS-MOS... what do you see about these?". KOS-MOS' systems started going overboard. "SE-SEXUAL... OVERLOAD... CANNOT... STAND... SO MUCH LUST.... SORRY, SHION...". And KOS-MOS... well, she exploded. Shion, covered in soot, grabbed what little left was of her favourite robot and ran away crying. Valvalis dusted off her blazer and closed the suitcase. The judges, absolutely baffled, just gave the Fiend a win to avoid any more headaches. This time, Rubicante was with Milon, watching the "match". Cagnazzo stayed home, muttering something about "avoiding a second disaster" or whatever. Milon laughed hysterically, while Rubicante sighed heavily, shrugging. After that, Valvalis came to Rubi and Milon. "I won this cause, gentlemen. Shall we?". They got up, and went outside. Already outside the arena, Milon asked Valvalis with a shroud of curiosity: "Hey, what did that picture have that made KOS-MOS explode?". Valvalis smiled capriciously and opened her suitcase, taking out the picture. "See for yourself, my colleague". It didn't take too long for Milon's head to explode into tiny bits. The explosion also destroyed the photograph, but let's not get into that. Rubicante looked at Valvalis, who was already laughing loudly. He sighed once again, while she laughed. "You could just play her matches like everybody else. But nooooooooooooo, Valvalis always must be annoying beyond all hell. I just don't get it". Valvalis dried a tear from her eye, smirked at Rubicante and shook her head. "It's just more amusing this way". After that, Valvalis was confined to yet another week of compressed air chamber fun. This time, watching the Tree Channel. Valvalis: 38 Draco Ignifer
Nash Latkje vs MOMO
Scar “This is absurd! It goes against my up-bringing to attack a child,” Nash commented as he saw his next opponent. “I would rather forfeit than to attack a little girl.” “That sounds great dear, if you drop out then we can spend some quality time together………in the dark,” Sierra smirked as the words came out of her mouth. “Eh…..the decision isn’t final yet Milady, I do have a certain responsibility to all the fans that have come to see me fight.” “Love….one could argue that you don’t want to spend time with me. Why is that?” “Beauty is eternal; my soul dies out before you could lose my interest,” Nash was slowly walking backwards toward the arena exit. “What’s that? Oh, they are calling me to the stage I must go darling,” and with that Nash sprinted away from his only terror. At the arena, “Jr., don’t be so silly, I can take care of myself,” MOMO said as Jr. hugged the little realian before she entered the arena square. “Just be careful, I still have so much to show you!” Nash stared down his opponent; she didn’t seem brutal at all. Cute, lovable, and petite, if Nash wanted he could win with little trouble, but to do that his reputation as a ladies man would be tarnished. “This just won’t do, I can not lay a hand on you, regardless if you are a robot or human.” “Well then, it looks like I win once again! Just say that you forfeit or I will attack you even if you do not retaliate.” “……meh,” Nash looked away, busy in thought. He did not plan this match ahead of time, or maybe he could have come up with a way to win without fighting her. He hated the fact of losing without putting up a decent fight. “Cute little girls should not be allowed to fight. This is clouding my judgment, so cruel. I guess…… Before Nash could finish his sentence a shadow rushed through the arena grabbed the little realian and darted off. Nash, of course was a bit confused. Jr. came out, but his dash was too late, the figure who took MOMO was gone. “MOMO!!!! Nash you barbarian! What a low tactic to hire Albedo. I thought you were a better person than that.” “Now, hold on there son….. “I’m old enough to be your dad! Give me back MOMO.” “Right……I suggest some growth hormones then short stuff, but anyways I did not have anything to do with this. In all honesty I am taken aback by what just happened. If you want my assistance, I will help you hunt down Albedo and get back your little lady.” “………I don’t trust you.” Just then, Albedo hearing his voice so much, calls down from in the arena seats. “Hold there Rubedo, try as I will, my attempts to keep that treat are never successful. Believe this old friend, it wasn’t me who took her. Besides me interfering in this match is so…cliché. I wouldn’t lower myself to expected kidnappings.” “………if it wasn’t him…….” Jr. paused. “Then who? “I do not know my friend, but maybe they might be interested in an exchange, I am sure I could trade my………” A sharp pain hit the back of Nash’s neck. He turned around to see Sierra starring him down, a cruel smile slipped from her pale face. Nash then knew she had something to do with this. In the back of the arena in a dark corner, Guillaume chuckled as he eyed his new toy. “Oooooooooooooh, she is just so cute, I could just eat her all up.” Nash, walking out of the arena, was quiet. Chisato came to interview him. “Nash, did you have anything to do with the sudden kidnapping of MOMO? You sure did luck out on this one, a free match, how do you feel? Are you going to say anything? Why the look of terror Nash? Nash slowly turned around, “Miss, forgive me, but that women is the embodiment of evil. Let me live my agony in solitude while I can. Good day.” Nash Latkje: 35 
Aika vs Shigeo
Dhyerwolf Zidane sat in a hole in the wall bar, drinking away his miseries with Quina. “It’s not, hic, fair,” Zidane said drunkenly. “My one chance in, and I have to fight that worthless loser…uh…Shigeo. Now everyone is laughin’ at me.” “Quina not care! Quina want food! Give Quina food or Quina eat YOU!” “Quina, you’re so funny. Trying to use humor to ease my pain.” Suddenly, a comely young female walked into the tavern. Being an extreme lecher, Zidane whipped his head around. His target was none other than Shigeo’s next opponent Aika. Zidane stumbled over to where she was sitting. “Oh, hi Zidane. Tee hee. Sorry about your loss to Shigeo. I’ll back sure to take him down for you, hee.” Zidane sat next to her, and leaned in as closely as possible. “Would you like to go on an airship…I mean, you know Shigeo is immune to status, right?” Shock lit up Aika’s face. “That’s okay, because, see, I got a plan. And let’s just say if it works, you and me can go out sometime…” The Day of the Duel “Are you sure this will work, Tee Hee?” “Trust me sweetcheeks, this plan is full proof. And you’re actually in the ring and we’re not technically helping you. Now, you, me, and Quina have to get dressed if we’re going to pull this off.” In the Ring HOW DARE SHE MAKE ME WAIT! I AM SHIGEO, MASTER OF YELLING AND CREATION OF PASTRY DESSERTS!! I AM LIKE A GOD!!! Behind him, a mysterious figure climbed into the arena in a rather awkward fashion. “Jibril not care! Give Jibril food! Jibril is hungry!” “JIBRIL! WHY ARE YOU HERE? AND WHY ARE YOU MOVING SO ODDLY! AND YOUR VOICE IS DIFFERENT? AND YOUR EYES ARE THE WRONG COLOR!” “Uh…Shigeo imagining things...Yes. Is same Jibril as always! Jibril hungry! Shigeo must get Jibril delicious Frogs!” “BUT…THE MATCH…AND FROGS?” “Puny Girl not show up! Shigeo win by default! Now, step outside of ring, and get Jibril food!” With that, Shigeo started to fly out of the ring. However, his aim was rather bad, and he hit a pole instead. His jet pack malfunctioned, and the Wiseman started flailing around the arena. “This wasn’t in the plan Zidane,” Aika said from inside the robe. “Don’t worry sweetcheecks, he’ll fly out eventually. I told you impersonating Jibril would work. Shigeo is such a loser.” "Quina is hungry. Hopes Wiseman come back with delicious frogs. Why is screaming noise getting stronger?" “JIBRIL, HELP ME! I’M COMING CLOSER! GET OUT OF THE WAY!” The trio stood dumbfounded as a hapless Shigeo collided into “Jibril,” sending the imposters outside the arena and out of the fake Wiseman robe. As Aika, Zidane, and Quina lay on the ground, Zidane could only think of how he failed again, and how much worse the mocking would get. Aika: 17 
Guy vs Guy
hooah Eh...L-Guy is stronger, and his defence is also better. However, all FE-Guy needs is for A-support-Matthew to be in the crowd and blood will be splattered all across the ring. After all, FE-Guy IS the Saint Swordsman :P Guy: 17 Korayashi
Selan vs Strago Magus
Sage Acrin You know, if there was any doubt before this match as to if Strago was a dirty old man or not, it's been settled. Before the match, he gave Selan a choice. Wait on him and his friends in a maid's outfit for a week, or he'd kill her in the most humiliating way possible. Selan knew that Strago could truly bear out this threat on some level, but she decided she was strong enough to take whatever he could dish out. So, really, it was only the crowd that was perplexed when Strago smacked Selan in the face with a Stone, confusing her, then cast Sour Mouth, then cast Dischord a half dozen times, reducing her level to 1, then smacked himself with his Mythril Rod until he was near death, then physically attacked her with a Heal Rod for a while until he used Sabre Soul on her, instantly killing her. Selan hasn't really gotten over it. At least, that's what her therapist says. Strago, meanwhile, had a bet on with Tia. Tia was so sure Selan would take the offer, too... Guess Strago gets his maid after all. Selan: 13 Dude789
Rudolf Steiner vs Noel Chandler
Sage Acrin "Why couldn't we just be friends?" Noel asked. "Because we're nothing alike." "But surely you believe that nature should be preserved..." "Not really." "...and that all life should be respected, and that there..." "....I said no...." "...is no reason for a person to harm his fellow man, except in self def...hey!" "I said no, you weepy drunk!" Jecht said. "Damn, it's getting so a man can't have a drink without some annoying pacifist whiny loser bugging him. You're worse than my kid. Besides, why don't you go talk to Rudo? He's the one that got you to run out of the arena crying, after he shot you in the face..." "But I don't know where his room is, and besides he might get violent again, an-" "You know, it's handy being able to turn people to stone." Jecht said, leaning back in his chair with a smile for the now grey-cast Noel. "And this way, I can swipe his drinks, too." Rudolf Steiner: 27 
Samson vs Lucius
Dunefar Lucius stood tall and prim in the arena, waiting for this week's opponent. Samsom was sure taking his time, staggering in slowly, his gait strangely troubled. Sniffing the air idly, Lucius's delicate features twisted. 'Has he taken a bath since last week?' he thinks in disdain, as Samson manages to stumble in, head down. Bracing himself and his magic books, he begins to softly chant... But is interruped, as Samson looks up, his face devoid of flesh! "Brains...Master Milon..." the haunted man groaned. It should be said in defense of Lucius that the screetch of shock that came from him was indeed a girly scream. It should also be said in defense that he remembered one thing - that's a light book he has in hand! --- "Curses! Foiled again!" Milon hissed. Not only did Samson get turned into a crispy white ash thanks to Shine, and the miracle of that accursed ressurection magic had made sure Samson didn't stay his loyal and undead servant. Poo. "No respect, I tell ya..." Samson: 16 
Sophia Esteed vs White Wizard
Dhyerwolf Sophia was worried. She knew that it was her unzipped jeans that shocked Beecham, and let her move onto the second round. However, unless outfitted with a personality chip, the White Mage would have no reaction to Sophia’s barely covered crotch. Not being the most clever of girls, Sophia sat and stared at a wall for 3 hours before finally realizing what she had to do. The Next Day “So, this will, like, make me like, win the match?” Sophia asked, cradling a chip. “You doubt my word! Everyone knows I have the mad honesty skillz!!!” Selphie sceamed. “Whatever…Anyways, like how did you get this?” “Oh, I just told that pigeon Precis that I wanted to play Hide and Go Seek! What a fat loser. Anyways, she ran off, and I pretended to count, then I ate her food, snorted her sugar, stole some of her stuff and mon…oh, I mean I like retrieved the personality chip you wanted…” “Wow, Selphie, you have mad skillz. I guess Rikku and Meru are lying when they say you’re a big, ugly ho with man hands who can’t pwn Jogurt. Anyways, how does this jizmo-maggery, like, work?” Selphie stared at Sophia with a blank look on her face. Sophia stared back with an equally blank look on her face. They stood like that for 3 hours. “Maybe you can make her snort it. I find that always works for me,” Selphie finally said. Sophia just looked back blankly. Needless to say, when the match came around, Sophia was too busy trying to shove the chip up the White Wizard’s nose to pay attention to the actual match. However, she did manage to snort it up her own nose afterward. Luckily for her, the chip Selphie stole was actually a potato chip instead of anything electronic. Sophia Esteed: 23 
Higins vs Sara
Dark Holy Elf It was quiet night in the peaceful city of Meribia. All the town's good citizens were alseep; even Jessica and Kyle had turned in after another wild night of partying. Well, "turned in" wasn't so much the accurate term as "ordered to shut up lest they be disowned by Hell Mel, so he could get finally some sleep", but that really isn't the point. The point was that the city was asleep... except for a figure in dark robes that slowly trotted through the city streets. Heading for a certain shop. "I've been expecting you," said Ramus, opening the door to his place of work. The dark-cloaked figure hurried in, Ramus closing the door behind him. "Now," said the shopkeeper. "This had better be worth my time, and lack of sleep." The figure reached a hand out of his cloak, and threw a handful of Pacalon coins onto the counter. Ramus' eyes twinkled momentarily, before he swept them away with a surprising agility for one of his build. "Well then. What can I help you with?" "I have a bit of a dragon problem," said the figure in a low, monotone voice. "They said you may have an item that could act as a ... solution." "I have merchandise that can offer solutions to just about anything. Dragons included. Just a moment." Ramus disappeared into his storeroom. When he returned, it was with a large bag. "Now, let's see what we have here..." The cloaked figure leaned in. "First," said Ramus, pulling out a sword of golden energy. "The Dragon Buster. Most famous anti-dragon weapon ever made, the slayer of the mighty Divine Dragon. I can't recommend a single better choice for dealing with a Dragon, myself." "Urm..." the figure fidgeted. "The thing is, I'm a pure lanceman. And I have to fight this dragon in the open. So if I used a sword... well, people would be suspicious." "Well why didn't you say so?" asked Ramus, rummaging through his bag. Eventually, he pulled out a spear. "The Dragon Spear, of Final Fantasy IV fame. I can't tell you how many Red Dragons I had to fight to get this." "You can fight?" "Fight, hire Rose and Arngrim for a day, whatever. The end result is the same." Ramus shrugged. "So, are you interested?" "Hmm. It can also kill dragons in a single blow?" Ramus laughed. "Oh, goodness, no. It will, however, multiply your power fourfold. Enough to make any dragon cry in pain." "Four..." the figure considered. "Sadly, that may not be enough. My foe, she... has positively freakish endurance, and my strength isn't what it used to be..." "She?" Ramus raised his eyebrow for a moment. "Oh, I get it. You're fighting Sara, and don't want to get your ass kicked so badly you'll feel it next time you get in. Which is likely to be what, Season 40?" The chubby boy broke into laughter. "You should have just told me earlier, Higins." "I, wha-" the cloaked figure spluttered. "How did you know?" "Please, you think I don't keep up with the Duelling League. Old man, I own half that league. And it didn't take much to piece it together... Pacalon coins," Ramus whipped one out of his pocket for a moment, before making it disappear just as quickly. "A fight against a female Dragon... not an every day occurence to begin with, and you're a lanceman to boot. And, most importantly, those black cloaks of yours... do a terrible job of concealing you have the body of a horse." Ramus pointed at Higins' black-cloaked rear end, which extended several feet back of his human torso. "... well, I guess the gig is up. Here's a little extra for your secrecy," Higins spat, pulling out a few more coins. "Now... can you help me?" "Naturally," said Ramus, as more coins disappeared in a flash. "As I said, you should have told me you were fighting a Light Dragon." He pulled out what appeared to be an empty bottle. "This, my friend, is called the D. Hrt. No, don't ask me how to pronounce it," he said as Higins cocked his head. "All you need to know is that it reduces any Light Dragon to 1 HP. As good as dead. And all you need to do is open it." Inwardly, Higins lept for joy. "That sounds almost too easy!" he exclaimed. "Yes, indeed. And I am willing to part with it for a very reasonable price..." *** The referee surveyed the clock; it was almost time. Higins took the time to size up his opponent. Sara obviously couldn't be bothered to do the same, as she waved to her cheering fans and friends, and blew her brother a kiss. No, why should she pay attention to him? The oddsmakers were giving her loss something like 100 to 1 odds. Negligible. Well, he'd show them. He cast a sidelong glance to the ninja section of the stands, until his eyes fell on a rat. Slade gave him a nod. Everything was ready. Higins readied herself for the match. The last bell before the match's start rang. The referee nodded to Sara, and the blue-haired woman's body glowed with a staggering light. Higins looked away for a moment... and when he turned back, a large, silver dragon was glaring at him. Her formerly soft eyes were filled with an almost cruel laughter. Higins shuddered for a moment, then he heard something that was literally music to his ears. And not to Sara's. Slade had covertly opened the bottle. He offered nothing more than a small smile as he looked around and surveyed its effects. Sara's brother Ryu gasped, clutching at his chest. His friends looked at him in horror. The Dark Dragon Emperor Zog was less affected, but still trembled at the memory, curling into a fetal position as Jade snickered at him. "H- how?... that song... was only meant to be played once..." Over in the VIP booth, the defending Godlike champion Ryu the third doubled over in pain... but only for a moment, as a flying kick from the opportunistic former DL Overlord Jogurt knocked him out cold. The dragon Sara slumped to the ground. All her incredible vitality... gone in an instant. She was stunned. She cast a glance to the judges. They deliberated for a moment. Then, "No sign of physical interference," said one of them. "There's nothing on the books that would call that song illegal, as long as it wasn't used as by one of the competitors." The starting bell rang. Higins charged. Sara looked at the puny centaur in rage. She hadn't endured seasons of mockery in Light to lose like this. She hadn't proven she could beat a healer only to lose to the Shining Force series' most maligned Paladin. In a desperate anger, she fired off a blast of dragonbreath at the charging Higins. The blow struck with remarkable force... ... and it turned Higins to ash. Sara collapsed, reverting to her human form. She pointed, "Nina, please... revive that fool for me." The Wyndian got up from tending Ryu, and obliged. Sara walked over to the revived Higins, and grabbed him. She waited patiently until the centaur regained his senses. "H... how?" he spluttered, as he came to. "You don't have that kind of damage..." Sara's eyes narrowed. "You're in some position to complain. Still. Two quick facts about the Breath of Fire team for you. One: Our physical attacks get much stronger when we're about to die. And yes, this includes mine," she said, then smiled. "Two: Renew revives you to 1 HP." "What does the last part have to do with anything?" Higins spluttered. Sara shrugged. "No reason. Now, the match is still going. Finish me if you can." Higins reached for his lance... and Sara caught his face with an open-handed slap. The force knocked him out yet again. Sara then dusted herself off, satisfied with her revenge, and claimed her win from the judges. Not everyone was satisfied, though. *** Ramus looked up from his desk in the DL offices, to notice he had company. Emperor Zog stood before him. "Ramus..." the Dark Dragon hissed. "There are some things that even you should know better than to sell." Ramus suddenly trembled. "Wh, what are you talking about?" "Please," said Zog, a smile forming on his lips. "Don't play dumb with me. The wretched Paladin told me everything. Or, rather, told him..." Zog motioned, and Ryu the third walked in the door. "Ryu was rather upset. Losing to that damnable Harmonixer was bad enough... but to then be knocked out by Jogurt?" Zog's voice rose in rage. "Surely even one so pathetic as yourself can see how that would be upsetting!" Ramus backed into a corner, away from the two Dragons. Ryu silently glared... and transformed into the IRT Kaiser. "Y, y, you can't hurt me! I own 50% of the shares in this League!" said Ramus, cowering. "That's good," said Zog, as the Kaiser prepared to unleash his terrifying Bonebreak. "You'll have some assets that you can use towards paying off your substantial medical bills, then." Higins: 7
BITGOYSWB - WBBITGOYSWBBWIFFWBWF Jo ou Ranbu HEAVY METAL TO DA CORE. BITGOYSWB will be a hit to make Iron Maiden run away crying and you all know it. They will crush the puny Billboard listings, they will squish frail little angsting Nu-Metal bands, they will stand tall and shake the SODA. Too bad they have a 10% chance to lose one fan every time they play, but Stone Check-infused candies and drugs will prevent that if they play it safe. And of course, they won't have one top single, but three: The Wind Beneath My Wings (IT'S A BETTE MIDLER COVER!!!! RUN FOR THE HILLS!), John I'm Only Dancing (see the Bowie clause) and Oh Ctulhu, You and I (because that name is too damn funny). Smurfs Theme Song will become a B-Side rarity. Complete Success: 25 One-Hit Wonders: 14 Abject Failures: 13 Cromage
Halbarad
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