"So. We meet again."
"Indeed. Times change, old friend."
"They do indeed. ...Are you ready?"
"Ready for what?"
"Must I say it?"
"I want to hear it from -your- lips."
"Very well then, friend. Are you ready... to DANCE?!"
"Haha! That is the spirit, my friend! With this, you may just manage to-"
It was at approximately this point that Elyon's subtle Karma Circle went off, nuking both Ghaleon in his disco suit and Odd Eye in the tuxedo.
Apparently they forgot to invite the Neon Pajama King and DDR master to their match. Bit of a shame. Ah well. The first one to catch up to him for a killing blow was...
"So, what's your trick again?" False Althena asked casually, standing across from the massive Rhapthorne in the Aerial Arena.
"Massive damage off double actions. Yourself?" Rhapthorne asked with a chuckle, making his entire body quiver. False Althena turned a bit green, but shook her head.
"Lightning damage off immense speed."
"Interesting... And your offer before the match. You are willing?" Rhapthorne grinned. False Althena nodded.
"I am. And I have found the perfect recipient, too. She resides in chains below us, and matches the similarity criterion precisely. Are you ready?"
Much to the bemusement of the audience, the match began not with fighting, but with a massive magical circle formed out of thin air, and the two... chanting?
"GET EVERYONE OUT OF THE ARENA!" Katsuya bellowed to Fuse. "THIS CAN'T BE GOOD!"
As the arena evacuated, the DLPD quickly assembled around the arena. Katsuya and Fuse watched from the back of Flammy in some disbelief. "This is huge..." the latter murmured.
And then the circle compacted to the size of a dot, and slowly fell to earth...
"...and that's how sane application of the Weakminded magic can ensure victory over most fellow mages. I'd be happy to teach it to you two, as well." Miguel grinned to Jessica Albert and Lulu. "But I digress. What did you two want to meet up about?"
"Well, we're mainly trying to hunt down Serge, confessionally. He tricked Angelo and Wakka out of a fair bit of cash, and... yeah. I mean, it's not that we need the money!" Jessica rose her hands hastily.
"It's more that we want to thank him for lowering them down a notch or two." Lulu replied with a small smile.
"Aaaah, I see. Serge, eh? Well- what in blazes was that?"
The three looked up... to see a humongous Brahne pulling up a city building by its roots and running massive amounts of electricity through it. Miguel sighed. "Here comes Brahnezilla, destroying the city again."
Both Lulu and Jessica gave him startled looks. "Again?"
"Yeah. Should we go help deal with this?" With that, the three heroes left...
The mighty dragon.
The helpless maiden.
Surely this couldn't go well.
"...that...that was horrifying. Every bit...ate...every...last...bit..." Cray said, white-faced.
"...that's...that's..." Hanpan stuttered.
Ryu 4 swayed on his feet for a moment, and then noisily vomited.
"...mmm. Is there a little more?" Cecilia asked hopefully.
Never challenge Cecilia to an eating contest.
"Rend... slaughter... devour your enemies!"
No two fighters propagate this more than Lavos and Heat. What better way to judge their power than their ability to eat and consume? The extraterrestrial being exists only to eat everything throughout all time, destroying everything in a nihilistic desire to consume. Heat doesn't consume because of a silly ideology, but instead to survive and thrive. The power of Atma has cursed him with an endless desire to feed, and blessed him with the power to take all he sees. Lavos eats throughout the ages. Heat exists in a short silver of time, a piece of data in Jenna Angel's twisted universe and existing with the power of Vritia for even shorter amounts of time.
Heat may burn brightly and incinerate his entire world, but it's only a brief flare. Lavos will be silently attacking and consuming long after Heat's been sent back to the sun for reincarnation.
Lin's jaw dropped, "You did NOT just..."
"Parry a bullet?" Jack gave her a half grin, "Yeah, I did."
The swordmaster shrugged, "The same way you parry anything else. Well, it does help that when I get serious I can move faster then a bullet, sure."
"..." The catgirl gunner was silent for a long moment before just throwing her hands up, "You know what? I'm done here. You're some kind of freak."
Jack watched her storm out with a chuckle, then walked over to collect his win.
As Joshua marked down Jack's win in the record book, he gave him a measuring look, "You know what? I'm calling bullshit on that. I know all there is to know about dodging, and parrying a bullet cannot be that easy."
Smiling wider, Jack nodded, "Sure, but I wasn't about to tell her that."
Jack van Burace: 29
A master of physical combat.
A master of thwarting physical combat.
It could get no more pathetic than this.
"...That...did he take that as a challenge?" Alena asked curiously, as Id desperately and repeatedly used his dubious-quality Ether to slowly chip at Cristo, while Cristo calmly read a book.
"...he'd probably do anything to impress you." Brey muttered into his beard, as Cristo boredly cast Fullheal on himself. "And that magic resistant book is still not getting any favors from that treatment. Oh well, let him have his fun."
"I'm pretty sure slamming Saturn into Xena- er, wait, Eris, shouldn't count as a win." Myria commented dubiously. Magus shrugged.
"Hey, after seeing it, Zeno fainted, so..."
Golden Sun summon animations. Good for causing massive disconcertation, available at your nearest Djinnstore.
"Your highness, these two women here have an interesting proposal to offer you." said the guard before bowing and leaving the room.
"Nel lackeys... what are you two doing here?" asked Angela, looking at the pair suspiciously.
Farleen unfurled a parchment, and opened her mouth, only to receive the tip of Angela's staff in it before she could say a single word.
"Wait!" said Angela before taking the parchment from Farleen's hands and handing it over to Tynave. "You read it."
"Okayyy... Let's see... To the royal princess of the Magic Kingdom of Altena, the distinguished Angela. I, the Crimsom Blade Nel of the Secret Legion of Aquaria, humbly believes that fighting in a barbaric arena is underneat one such as yourself. Not to mention, our match is scheduled at sun-rise, a time better spent in well-merited relaxation. I thus propose a clash between the grand armies of Altena against my subordinates and various contacts. I have appointed Farleen as the commander of my forces for this battle. It would serve as good training for them during these times of peace, and could lead to positive diplomatic ties between Altena and Aquaria. As a preliminary friendship gift, please accept this bathtub mousse of the highest quality, and also this one-year membership to 'Airyglyph hunks monthy'."
Angela scratched her chin pensively as she removed the staff from Farleen's mouth. She was the princess of Altena, a kingdom with vast magical power. Her troops were veterans from the war with Forcena, and they were getting a little antsy for some action. How many subordinates and contacts could Nel possibly have? And beside, with Farleen as commander, they were sure to fail. Plus, the perks weren't bad.
"Fine." said Angela as she snatched the two gifts from Farleen's extended hands, before signing the parchment.
"Tha..." started Farleen before getting the staff in her mouth again.
"Out!" yelled Angela as she pointed the door.
Nel was on the beach sitting next to Clair in their comfortable chair, one foot on the table while lazily sipping a glass of expensive pomello juice.
Nel winced slightly at Farleen's call, even if she was still slooowly getting used to it. She noticed Tynave and Farleen running toward them with an obviously beeming disposition. "How did it go?" asked Nel politely, though she already knew the answer.
"As we requested, we put together all your subordinates from all around the world. That was a few hundreds there. Then, Lady Clair, thank you by the way, lent us the entire Aquarian forces, all outfitted with the latest runological cannons. Woltar still feels a bit bad about your father so he sent the Storm brigade, and Albel was bored so he came with the Black Brigade too. They surrendered when that gigantic Crossel came with that big cannon strapped on his back; well, actually they surrendered if we lent them Astor and a few other good looking guys as an apology to Angela. Oh, Roger was there too with his squad but they all got killed temporarly."
"And you didn't even need to use Quark's main battle fleet? Well done!" exclaimed a pleased Nel. "A pay raise for both of you!"
Clair nodded and added: "And I'm bumping your 'leadership skill' review from 98 to 99, Farleen. Even though our troops only go berzerk in trying to complete the battle as soon as possible so they don't have to hear you anymore, the important thing is that you get things done, and well!"
While Farleen was busy trying figuring out if she should be taking that as a compliment or an insult, Tynave asked in a curious tone: "Lady Nel, there is one thing I don't understand. Why go through all that, instead of just kicking her ass in the arena? It's not as if you couldn't..."
Nel shrugged as she simply said: "The queen put me alongside with Clair on a forced vacation. And if I break that, she ordered magister Laselle to pester me for an entire week. Trust me, even Farleen's signing or Fayt's whining is better than that!"
Nel Zelpher: 29
"DOUBLE TECH - ICE COLD, BAAAAAY-BEEEEEEEE!"
With those words, Akihiko fainted.
Marle chuckled and flashed a thumbs up to Mitsuru, standing behind Marle and outside the arena. "Didn't even have to lift a finger!"
Akihiko's later mentions in the hospital of "ohgod the horror the horror" were promptly met with execution.
Akihiko Sanada: 20
How do you make Paine dignified? You can't. If you're stuck in a game with brain damaged Yuna and X-2 Rikku, what else can you do besides attempt to salvage what respect you have in spite of various 'costumes' that reveal more than they conceal?
Titania is an immensely dignified woman, who knows she doesn't have to objectify herself to advance in life. That said flashing a little leg to a drooling judge (Sheena) certain isn't above her, and won't cost her more than a few hungry glances.
The Ball of Lightning that smashed into Paine's chest.. well, *sizzle*. She lost with respect and pride, which is something?
At least until people remind her of Brother's existence again.
Oh, come on, we all know a big burly blond guy with a huge sword beats dragons! We've only gone over this scenario, what, how many times before? So what if Ena is a red dragon who is ages old or whatever, she's still a dragon. Also, KORNELL BUSTER.
Finding that you don't have time to cook? Are those hard to reach spaces remaining forever uncleaned? Are your guests always showing up before you're ready for them?
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Eiko Carol: 21
Noel's past is as sketchy as can be; with one offhanded reference to working for God's Ten Wise men and nothing else. A booster of God's ten wise men would surely have scary attacks and be unworthy of this lowly division. Noel being Noel, wasn't a booster of Indalecio, nor Cyril, or even Marsillo. No, the Nedian Park Ranger was Nicolus's minion. Utterly pathetic.
How long do you think it'll take for Roz to dominate someone who took orders from wiseman fodder? Five, maybe ten seconds? Even if she can't overwhelm this spineless wretch, a Rose Liberation or three will set him straight on who the real terror of light is.
Noel Chandler: 16
No, not the sound of Anna and Hanako duking it out, as you might suspect. Rather the sound of one Edge Eblan slamming his head into the judges table over and over again.
"Two lovely ladies, he said. Perfectly legal judging position, he said. Anything I want goes, he said...."
Looking up, Edge was treated to yet another dull exchange of attacks between the two lights.
"Yeah, two ladies not even I can get interested in..."
Eventually, a groan and thud was heard as Hanako collapsed to the ground. Edge, seeming more excited by this then Anna did, jumped out of his seat, "Finally! Yeah, uh, Amy, Annie, whatever your name is, 'grats you win have a nice day good f-ing BYE!"
Exiting the arena with much haste, the ninja prince cracked his knuckles, "Okay Yuri, you got me. Haha, good one. But if you think I'm letting you get away with that scott free..."
Cleo smirked as her third sword slammed cleanly into the bullseye, "That makes...216. Beat that."
Readying her bow as a new target was set up, Yukari smiled at her opponent, "Gladly."
Steadying her nerves, she narrowed her focus. Herself, and the target. There was nothing else. Draw....aim...release!
Yukari beamed, "Bullseye! ...wait"
The target wobbled...and fell down.
Cleo laughed, "So, uh, critical hit, huh?"
The archer blushed, "So can we set the target back up?"
"Nope. No using wait commands, we agreed on that. And since this is a target match, any magic will get you DQed."
Sighing Yukari tried aiming at the now horizontal target, "How am I supposed to..."
Kid snickered at the little seedling sitting in front of her in the arena. "What in bloody blazes is this, some sort of boffer? Grow up, already!"
And then Peco grew into a humongous tree.
Kid was suitably surprised by this occurrence, and even more so when the tree grew a face and spoke.
At the mention of Chrono Cross plot, Kid suddenly disappeared from existence. Peco was awarded a victory by default.