Lurking Registered User
Melfice can't win if Ryu gets a turn. Ryu can just turn into Mammoth or Tiamat or something and blast away on all three of Melfice's parts, while Melfice has to deal with Ryu's suddenly godlike hit points.
And frankly, Melfice can't even kill Ryudo in one hit, so Ryu is getting that turn.
Yuna isn't going to win today. No, it's not because of Myria's obscene durability, and it's not because of her likewise insane attack power, either. It has nothing to do with any of those.
You remember her fight against Freya so long ago? Her Aeons do, and they threatened to individually press suit against Yuna for various charges of "abuse" if she went through with the match. Yuna, lacking the spine to stand up to Bahamut, much less Anima, in court, decided to forfeit the match.
Myria was left asking various audience members if they would be her friend. The responses were mixed.
Lurking Registered User
The two swordsmen could not bring themselves to hold a normal match. After all, it was a contest of equals. PWS vs. Mystic Art... damage chain vs. damage chain... really, despite the uniqueness of each fighter, the battle would be a long, sraining, and difficult one.
So, the two reached a compromise - a battle that would require outside assistance for both, but would be a true test of skill
A cock fight.
Unfortunately for Lang, Arngrim was able to convince Lenneth to summon the best war rooster around as an einherjar. Specifically, the BoF3 rooster Rocky. Lang had to do with borrowing a fiesty one from his home town.
In a stunning rout, Rocky quickly Ovum'd Lang's rooster, leaving Arngrim the clear victor.
Lenneth has taking a liking to the fiesty rooster, which is a mite disappointing to her two sisters. But hey, what can you do?
Dark Lord Magus
The disgrace! The unbearable shame! To think that the mighty Overlord thought that he would finally be facing a battle worthy of his greatness. After all, he had heard he was going to be fighting royalty this week. How disappointing to find out that his opponent was truly an overgrown octopus! Needless to say, Laharl felt he had this one in the bag, after all, he makes worlds tremble at the sound of his squeaky, mighty laugh.
And then the day of the match came... and Ultros promptly turned Laharl into a small(er) useless green creature with stubby wings. Now normally, such an act alone would be humiliating for one of Laharl's great stature, but far worse was that Ultros called in a favor with the Dark Assembly, who had been beaten the crap out of by Laharl one too many times. They granted Ultros a most horrible bill: the legal rights to use Prinny-related images in his "work." In this case, a variation of Imp Song that turned the victim into the all too familiar penguins with stubby wings(though still remaining the imp color.) Needless to say, Laharl's never been the same since.
Lurking Registered User
"Well it looks like you finally get a match against a non-Suiko scrub I see", Raquel mused as she watched the self-proclaimed genius drifter waltz into the room, "Feeling excited?"
Arnaud shrugged, "In a way, I was hoping I wouldn't have to work all that much before the Finals."
He sat down across from her before continuing, "I heard that this match is quite possibly the hardest for me the entire season. Odds were betting that I would lose. I was hoping to at least go out in the finals..."
His facial expression then changed back to the more relaxed and laid back look he typically had, "Well, I guess I'll see what happens. If anything, I'll do some more research before heading off."
Raquel nodded, "It wouldn't exactly be very mature of you to give up without even trying."
She rose from her seat and grabbed her bag near the door, "I have to head to studio now for the recording of 'Miss Raquel's Neighbourhood'. Anyways, I'll be rooting for you, so make sure to do your best."
Raquel breathed a sigh of relief as she returned to her residence. The recording went pretty well, although there were a few things that still needed sorting out. Like how they wanted a guest appearance, and a singer for the theme song. Some of the lines needed to be rephrased and she needed to take another look at the script for tomorrow. In all honesty, she was glad the day was done.
Then she opened the door and noticed three things.
One: Jude and Yulie were in the residence.
Two: Arnaud was in the residence
Three: Arnaud was in the residence without a single scratch on him.
"Ha! That's right. I told you would not have a chance against my Fox!"
"That's only because you play this game when you have nothing else to do, Arnaud!"
She raised an eyebrow as she wondered how Arnaud managed to get away scott-free from his match. In the end, she decided asking him was probably better, "So Arnaud...did you win your match?"
"Oh?" he questioned back, "No, I didn't. Hey, want to play Smash Brothers with us? Jude's not doing too well"
"I won 3 games before that!" The young gene-driver exclaimed back.
"Arnaud had a match today?" Yulie asked as she stepped out from the kitchen.
"Yes. And one where he won without a scratch on him", Raquel only eyed him harder as she was wondering what he exactly did.
"Well, see about that. I calculated my odds were winning were actually pretty low. In the end, I figured I could only win through some obscure ID weapon that people don't respect, so I decided to throw the match," The drifter in chaps explained.
"But not before doing creating multiple Illusions of myself and then sending them off to the arena for at least a bit of entertainment. I was having fun with it too since the dumb kid couldn't figure it out for the longest time. I certainly wasn't bitter or anyth-" he said with a touch of enthusiasm in his voice.
His comrades only looked at him with surprise.
"...What? It was a perfectly reasonable compromise to my situation!"
Raquel's look changed into a glare followed by an evil smile, "You're being an awfully competent role model." She said with an inch thick of sarcasm in her voice, "Since you're free for the rest of the season, why don't you redeem yourself by helping me?"
"...uh sure. But Raquel, why are you looking at me like that?"
"Oh, you'll see..."
"...so we all learned today that persistance is truly a beautiful part of everyday life."
"Wow, Miss Raquel! That's something I never appreciated before. But whatever happened to 'Arny the Hamster that just gave up' ?"
"Oh he's here. He's learned the error of his ways and is now striving to recover that lost beauty. Right Arny?"
And on cue, a giant hamster walked on to stage and waved at the audience.
"And now, it's time for us to say goodbye for the day. Let's have Arny the hamster sing the song for us!"
At least for a few seconds before Raquel decided to kick the hamster in the back.
Arnaud winced. Maybe it would've been better to actually fight that match after all.
'You are SO dead for this, Raquel'
"You all know this story, right?
The older, beautiful, seductive, mature woman, with worldly wisdom.
The young, naive little girl, with her own...qualities...
There's only one way these things can turn out, we all know it. And I will go to the greatest of lengths to tell them to you! Yes, you will all know of the horrific shame that Eiko suffered, and the glory of-"
Zidane was cut off, as Madeen picked him up.
"...Uh, hi, Eiko?" Zidane said, waving frantically at the crowd he was talking to.
As they ran.
Eiko stared up at Zidane a long moment. Finally, she shook her head. "...that's it, I'm chasing after Arnaud instead. At least he's more than just a pretty face." Eiko said, shaking her head, as she walked off.
"Damn, the one time I win a fight normally and fairly, and he has to go spreading...that..." She shuddered, as Zidane's screams intensified behind her.
Eiko Carol: 80
"Innes! What are you doing here?" Tana asked, grabbing at his sleeve. "You're supposed to be at your match!"
"Hum? Oh, yes. Have you seen the child they expect me to fight? Pathetic." Innes said, shaking his head. "I can't imagine slaying a mere child. So, I took care of things in my own way."
"...Innes...what did you do?" Tana asked, frowning sternly.
"So, when do you think we'll manage to get down?" Guy asked, as he glanced down at the ground.
From his rope-based perch in a fourty-foot tall tree.
"Man." Guy added, sighing. "'Oh, it's just a Light match.' they said. 'You'll be fine. They're both goody-goodies.' they said. Great. At least I got the sack off our heads."
"..." Crono said.
"..." Solo said.
"Also, I would be stuck up here with two mute judges." Guy sighed again.
"Oh, just something to keep them occupied. I'm willing to let the child "win". I don't blame her." Innes said, shrugging.
"...brother, the pranks are a bad habit." Tana said, shaking her head. "They'll trace them back to you eventually."
"How?" Innes asked, shrugging. "That would require someone think I have a sense of humor."
"...You're right, never mind." Tana agreed.
A match of guns against harps?
Clearly, this is no ordinary matchup of RPG cliches. No mere simple set of concepts can convey this, unlike such other epic clashes as Swords vs Guns, Technology vs Magic, and Jogurt vs Shiho.
This is a truly epic clash of cliches.
There is only one way to truly describe this, in fact. Since all conventional symbols fail, we must resort to Lexis Shaia's Symbotics, a form of language/mathmatical symbology that, up until now, was not in workable form. However, we have fed him enough sugar to get him to complete it. And so...
Orange+Bannana+[Nectarine-Ping-Pong]/Lanolin Monkey Encased In Jello.
Kumquat OH MY GOD THE APES ARE EATING MY EYES Zidane Sten Piano KAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHN^2?
Serendipitous swallows sear shriekingly southward shores! Seized sourgum shatters seconds!
As it turns out, Lexis' rough approximate translation of these events did occur, as somehow Opera ended up pledging her love to Karyl, ripping off his pants, and making out with him in full view of hundreds of people, stopping only long enough to make out with Claude, Ernest, and Bowman out of the crowd for a while.
Then the pudding rained from the skies.
There is no way to explain any of this, it made no sense at all to anyone.
Therefore the proper assumption is that, in fact, Lexis' language is a link to the darkest of evils, an arcane language capable of the most horrific evils ever.
Sten and Edge have both attempted to abuse this by feeding Lexis large amounts of sugar. Results were mixed; Sten somehow found himself in Charmles' clothes(With Charmles.), while Edge, in his own words to Yuri, "ended up the hottest lesbian ever. For an hour. Now let's never speak of it again.".
Karyl Sheeden: 43
Dark Lord Magus
White always mates.
Every Breath You Take: 12
Superman Theme: 4
Karma Police: 5
Eye in the Sky: 14
Smart Patrol: 7
Jesus Built My Hotrod: 7