He's already the acclaimed co-host of Behind the Scenes, but Morte's now seeking to win back some respect as a dueller. Of course, a victory with mind tricks over Grenseal's lackluster swordskills and weak defense won't exactly be gaining him accolades, but it will certainly be a good start. Essentially, all Morte needs to do is call Grenseal the meanest, nastiest name he can come up with, and the fight is his. With all the practice he's had on Chisato, what could possibly go wrong?
It's finally Grenseal's time to shine. Morte has an impressive list of resistances, but lightning isn't on it. Grenseal just happens to have a Thunder Rune, which allows him to deal damage second only to Tir's Judgment. Iron discipline from years as an imperial soldier renders him impassive to Morte's worst insults, and his often criticals are always a good fallback if he runs out of spell charges. As durable as Morte is, even he cannot hope to survive Grenseal's electric onslaught.
----Editor's note: this transcript of the Morte vs. Grenseal match, Season Fifteen, Week One, has been edited for your viewing. This match has been rated PG-13, due to suggestive dialogue and adult themes.----
Grenseal, bearer of a powerful rune and one of Tir McDohl's personal servants, stood tall as he walked into the arena. From off in the stands, he could see Alen, Tir, and all his other compatriots cheering for him.
On the other side of the arena, Morte, the fast-talking, slam-dancing, wise-cracking skull, floated out from the starting area, amidst an equal amount of cheering from such wise-asses as Rune Walsh, as well as his Behind the Scenes crew members.
And so the two stood ( or hovered, in Morte's case ), facing each other, ready for the fight to be called to order. From across the arena, Judge Mills Lane came out, stood between the two, and brought their heads down to his level.
"Now," Judge Lane said, "I want a clean fight. No hair-pulling, no jerking off of any sorts. Got it? Good. Let's get it on!"
And the fight began!
...well, it wasn't much of a fight. What happened was that Morte, before the fight began, called Grenseal a fu...
"What did you just call me?!" Grenseal yelled at the floating skull, who seemed to be laughing with glee.
"What I said, you..."
"Do I make myself clear?" Morte's lower mandible twitched with glee upon finishing his insult.
"You...how dare you! I'll destroy you! By the power of Greysku...er...my Thunder Rune, I shall be your end!"
"Oooohhhh," Morte cooed, feinging fear, "what are you going to do now? Go home crying to you ga...."
"...he is my best friend! Nothing more!" the rage in Grenseal's voice was easily discernable now.
"Right, right. That's what I used to say about your moth..."
"Did you just see that!?" Alen screamed into Judge Lane's ear. "That's illegal! That floating cadaver just bit his ear off!"
Judge Lane tilted his head to the side and pondered Alen's words for a few seconds. "I'll allow it!" he yelled.
Grenseal, his left hand over the bleeding hole in his head that was once his ear, was furious. "So," he said, "it's come to this. Well, then I'll show you the true power of my Thunder Rune!"
With that, Grenseal chanting a couple of words, and the sky began to darken. Glints of light flashed in the stratosphere, and a gigantic bolt of lightning flew down to earth, and struck...
...Grenseal, directly in the head. Unfortunately for him, his rune was affixed to his left hand, due to an unfortuante accident involving his right hand and pe...
---The documenter of this fight has just been fired, due to his own perspective on the match containing R-rated content. We are sorry for this inconcenience.----
...the lightning flew towards the object Grenseal's palm was facing, which just happened to be his head. Judge Lane looked out over the battlefield for a moment, walked over to Morte, and yelled, "Winner...Morte!"
Morte beamed with excitement. "And all I had to do was call him a as..."
----Due to our network having received seven subpoenas for airing this episode, even edited, we have decided to cut our losses and move straight onto the results. We are sorry for the inconvenience, and assure you it will never happen again. I tell ya', these network geeks are real as...-----