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The Night Santa Went Missing "Ah, pipe down!" Aika yelled back at the salty old sailor. "I know exactly what I'm doing. Besides, you need to have more fun. I mean, isn't this exciting?" "Grrrr..." ---------- "^*(#!" Cid Highwind screamed "I *^(@#*& hate snow! Why does it always have to ^*&#* snow at this same *&#^#(*( time of year?!" "Perhaps because it's Christmas?" Red XII interjected. "&*^#@^ Christmas!" "Hey foo'," Barret chimed in, "don't go dissing Christmas so soon. Afterall, it's not like every sucka'..." "Would you shut the ^*#*^&@# up with that horrible Mr. T rip-off voice? You are not *%&*# Mr. T, you ^*&#*&* poser!" "Ok foo', I'm going to have to send you helluva far. Come here sucka'!" "Hey, get your *&*#@& hands off of my ^*#&* steering wheel!" "Hey, you guys might want to..." "I pity the foo' that distracts me from my job" "Well, I just thought you might want to know that we're going to hit some other flying object in about five seconds. No, make that three seconds now..." ---------- "Rudolph, with your nose so bright, what do you see in the distance tonight?" "I see something big, shiny, and..." *CRASH* ---------- Both the Highwind and the Little Jack, aeronautical masterpieces, lay broken, damaged, and unfunctioning on the ground. Both parties of the two ships - Drachma and Aika of the Little Jack and Red XII, Barret, and Cid Highwind of the Highwind - stood near the wreckage, yelling and arguing with each other over whose insurance would be covering the wreckage. No one had yet noticed the poor, old, bearded man, crawling out from under the wreckage, his jolly old face now contorted into a Picasso masterpiece. "Now you &%*&#* listen here!" Cid said, pointing his spear at Aika. "You *&*&# teenagers and your *$*$@ driving! I can't *&^*@#$ believe you *#&**# did this!" "Me!?" Aika yelled back, her mouth wide open. "Your airship license expired two days ago! I'm not the one at fault here!" "*&#$*&#^! But you're the *($*$ who was driving too fast!" "Yar," Drachma muttered silently, "this will take a while" "I pity the foo'..." Barret started to say. "Shut up!" Aika and Cid both yelled back at him. "Excuse me," Red XIII said, attempting to break the two up, "but could you two stop arguing for a minute? I think I see something over here" The two parties walked a little closer to the wreckage and, sure enough, they spotted the badly bruised body of poor Saint Nick underneath the deck of the Little Jack. "Oh my!" Aika screamed. "We killed Santa!" "Oh, please," the previously-thought-to-be lifeless corpse said, "thanks for your concern, little miss, but I've been through far worse than this. However, slight problem here: I'm not sure if I'll be in good enough condition to continue my usual routine. And...I can't find Rudolph anywhere" "Aaaawwww" Aika cooed. "That means no Christmas toys?" "It sure doesn't look like it" Santa replied. "Unless...you people can fill in for me" "&(#$@*^$!?" "You need to spread Christmas cheer... to deliver the toys to the children... to give them hope..." "^(@#*(!" "Well, mostly, you need to do it, or I'll sic my lawyers on you. And they've all been bad boys this season." "Grrrr... another fine mess you've gotten us into, you little brat." Drachma glared at Aika and picked her up by her shirt collar. "Hey! Don't do anything... hey, you know, you'd be a perfect Santa with the whole get-up on!" "Me!? Santa? I'm too old for that!" "Hm..." the real Santa muttered. "Yes, he'd be perfect. But we'd still need a new head reindeer" After saying that, everyone's eyes slowly migrated towards Red, fixing upon him as he just finished writing his name in the snow. "... nuts" he said defeatedly. "All right," Santa said with about as much enthusiasm as he could muster, "You guys get my sleigh, the reindeer, and then get out and get these gifts to all the children in the world. And hurry: if my arch-nemesis hears about this..." Santa's little speech was interrupted as a pillar of flame erupted from the ground. An odd, white-ish body, surrounded with several rings, slowly arose. "I am the ultimate darkness. I am the evil inside all men's hearts. I am..." "Zemus?" Aika questioned the newcomer. "... no, not Zemus. I am Necron, the ultimate evil!" "Ok, foo', why are you here?" "Because this... this poser! He stole my job! Oh the days... I wanted so badly to be the bringer of joy to children's hearts, but no, he was chosen over me! I was regulated to succumb to darkness, to become the ultimate evil, when all I really wanted to do was warm people's hearts!" "Awwwww," the group, minus Santa, cooed. "But now... now I have my chance! I shall spread Christmas cheer on my own, and make the kids love me! Then I shall become the new Santa, and I'll finally realize my life dream! Hahah...I mean, Hohohohohohohoho!" Necron flew off into the night, intent on spreading Christmas cheer to the whole world. "After him! If you guys don't beat him, I will sic every one of my lawyers on you, and you'll wish you'd been crippled by that crash!" "Lawyers? Who exactly are your lawyers anyway?" "Only the best: Squall and Laguna" "^&#!&*#! Not those two! Squall and his ^*&#*$ "Whatever" defense... Laguna and his *(%^#)* ^*#)&)#$*( &(*$* &(*$&* $()$*&$@&" "Uh...did you actually mean to say anything constructive in that mess of cesorings, Cid?" "^&@#*& no!" "All right, it's settled then! You five must beat Necron in filling the children's hearts with happiness! Please, do it for the children! And for yourselves, too." |
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Nanashi Necron would make the perfect Santa. Every year he'd give people gifts, and he'd make it snow, and he'd kill the entire cast of FF9. I don't know about you, but a holiday just seems more meaningful when it involves the annual painful demise of Zidane. Drachma Claus: 21 Necron Claus: 32
metroid composite
Jo'ou Ranbu
NeolChandler
Cromage
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