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Johnny Depp vs. David Bowie
~mc/OK
 | Hey, wait a second. What's going on here? I've never heard or even seen of these two guys before. Are they even RPG characters? Why are they scheduled for a match in the arena? |  | They're on the schedule: deal with it. | | But...are they even RPG characters? This can't be right... | | So they're not on the roster. The important thing here is that they're both quite rich, and have paid me a very handsome amount for the... | | Hey! You! The guy with the goatee! | | Strife! Stop that! Disturbing the combatants is bad for business! | | Yes, you. What RPG were you in? |  | Does Pirates of the Caribbean count? I think it sold well enough by the site standards to warrant ranking. |
| Ok....well, what about you, Mr. Zidane look-alike? |  | Haven't you visited the Videogame Lookalikes site? I'm in nearly every RPG! | | Argh! This...does...not...compute... |  | Hehehehehe. Oh, Cloud! Listen up! |  | No! Don't mess with his mind again, Sephiroth; it's so unstable and fragile already without you screwing it up. | | Silence, wench. Cloud....Cloud...Kill them. Kill them all in the name of mother Jenova! | | Ok, sounds fun. But...wait, isn't killing bad? | | Would your best friend Sephiroth lie to you? Think about it Cloud: why else would Hojo have created you? | | Don't listen to him! He's just trying to... | | Yes...death. Kill. All for mother Jenova! It makes perfect sense! | | Hahahahaha! My work here is done. Now off to go Mother's Day shopping. | | Damn. Not this again. Just remember Cloud: you do any needless killing, and it's the couch for you tonight! | | Aaaaarrrggghhhh! |
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DragoonJay
David Bowie can transfer his soul into another body, as hasbeen seen in his game Omikron: The Nomad Soul. So every time he gets killed, he just hops into another person. Meanwhile, Johnny Depp got a nasty hit on the head, and began regressing into his earlier roles. Around the time he hit the Ichabod Crane phase, Tifa took him out of his misery herself, then cried herself to sleep over losing such a sexy man.
Aggravated at this betrayal, Cloud unleashed his patented Omnislash on everyone in the immediate viscinity.
"Why... why must my life always be marred in bloodshed?"
A whisper on the wind answered Cloud's inner question.
"Because... you are a puppet..."
Johnny Depp: 16
David Bowie: 10
Cloud kills: 28
metroid composite
Johnny Depp took out Geodude in his Edward Scissorhands form. Geodude. I mean nothing beats Geodude. I think the winner of this match is obvious.
Zenthor
Two Godlikes among Godlikes are facing off, David Bowie and Johnny Depp. While I could go into a long rant about Johnny's physical stats being that much better than the dedicated mage Bowie, I think I'll just leave it at this.
Edward Scissorhands > Micropants.
Johnny Depp/Eddy Sciss wins his second match in the DL!
berserkergang
Didn't David name his kid Zowie? Making him/her...Zowie Bowie? See, that pisses me off. So does naming your kid Apple.
MepMasta
Any other celebrity alive would be omnislashed by cloud, but Depp is the single coolest actor ever and as we learn in Pirates he is a master of the tongue. He will have Cloud killing whats his face quicklike.
Jo'ou Ranbu
Johnny Depp is too sexy for the world. That breaks any FF character - particularly yaoi baits like Cloud and Sephy. The big problem, though, is that Cloud, Johnny and David Bowie would probably star their own doujinshi after this.
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