Season 9, Week 3
Bowser Koopa
(Super Mario RPG)
 
The mighty King of the Koopas has little to fear against the erstwhile Lezard this match. Though Lezard may very well paste him with one of his spells, his opponent's durability rivals that of a twig, and Bowser's Drill Claw may very well tear him in half with one attack. Or he could sit back, Terrorize the chubby fool, and laugh maniacally as Lezard runs around in fear before dropping a giant Mechakoopa on him. Or Bowser could resort to oldskool tactics and give him the good ol' butt-stomp - which will most assuredly knock Lezard out in a single hit.

V

S

The holder of the Philosopher's Stone, after a quick win last week, goes after the original video game baddy: none other than Bowser Koopa! With Lezard's knowledge, wisdom, and ability to cast spells at will, he's as ready as he'll ever be to take down the Koopa king. And of course, those occasional beat downs from Celestial Star and Meteor Swarm should teach his opponent a thing or two about messing with a former Godlike. Even with knowledge of all the world's secrets, Lezard doesn't know the outcome of this fight, but he has a good feeling that victory is in his grasp.


DragoonJay
"Bwa ha ha! I've got your princess in my castle! Get her back... if you dare!"

Lezard looked over the note with horror. "How could he do such a thing?! To dare attempt to harm Lady Valkyrie is an travesty! I shall have to show him manners."

The sorcerer quickly gathered up his equipment and rushed to the whereabouts of Bowser's lair. As he approached, he noticed that there was considerably less opposition than he had anticipated. In fact, everyone that confronted him had done so from behind, as if they were actually headed towards the same goal as he was...

The answer became clear as soon as the ruins of the formerly grandiose fortress came into view. Chunks of stone were strewn about the ground, and what appeared to be the remains of a platoon of Koopa Troopas covered them. Lezard was suitably impressed.

"You have to help me!" came a weak call from behind a broken column. Lezard looked and found the broken body of Bowser.

"Help you, whatever for, you deluded fool?"

"She... she woke up, and started screaming. I laughed at her, and then she just pulled this sword out of nowhere and started attacking! So many dead..."

"Then perhaps you should think twice before you consider harming my Lady Valkyrie again."

Despite himself, Bowser chuckled. "You know this is interference, right? I've won my match."

"My true love is safe. There is no prize in the worlds greater than that. Speaking of which, I believe I hear her heading this way. Best of luck with the whole 'living' thing."

"No! You can't!"

Lezard merely walked away, slowly, savouring the tortured cries of his opponent.

Bowser Koopa: 23
Lezard Valeth: 22

Mepmep
Lezard blasts the living crap out of Bowser sending him flying across the arena. Bowser finally hits the wall and is sent hurling back at Lezard. Lezard quickly steps out of the way, but trips and knocks himself out on a rock. Bowser finally comes to a stop and comes out of his shell.