Season 9, Week 2
Kuja
(Final Fantasy IX)
 
Godlike's resident thong-sporting mage returns for another run at the championship, first facing the perfect SOLDIER. That may intimidate many, but not Kuja; totally immune to the worst of Sephiroth's attacks, namely Super Nova and Pale Horse, the Genome also shrugs off Shadow Flare thanks to Reflect. In other words this duel is a battle between Kuja's powerful magic assault and Flare Star counters and Sephiroth's sole physical attack, a battle in which Kuja handily leads in offense.

V

S

After suffering defeat in the hands of the Dragon Fou-lu back in Season 4, Sephiroth comes back into the Arena with a vengeance. He has many advantages over his opponent this week, having both considerably higher defense and higher overall HP than the cross-dressing villain. Although Kuja may beat him in fashion sense, there is very little doubt that the One Winged Angel can beat him in the Arena.


Cmdr_King
Kuja and Sephiroth reached a gentleman's agreement as soon as their match was announced- the two would engage in a planet-destorying contest, and the loser would forfeit the duel. Thus, Sephiroth went from world to world summoning Meteors, and moving on, assuming they would fall before the match. Kuja, meanwhile, poured his wrath upon many hapless continents, rendering countless planets uninhabitable.
Hours before the match, the two met up and tallied their scores.
"I count 128. How about you, Sephy?"
"... the same."
"This isn't good. What should we do?"
"Staring contest?"
"Alright. You're going down."
And so the tiebreaker commenced. Meanwhle, the DL computers noted that the match began, but no one was there to watch it as all the usual spectators were either slain or busy recreating much of the multiverse. Thus, the staring contest continued until both passed out.
Finally, a judge returned. Seeing both Godlikes asleep in the arena, he decided the first to awake would be the winner. A silver-haired figure stirred.
"And the winner is..."

Kuja: 24
Sephiroth: 20

Fenris
There's only room for one effeminate former Godlike champion from the Final Fantasy series in the next round, and seeing as Kuja has healing and is immune to all of Sephiroth's more powerful attacks, I'd bet on the guy who has no fear of wearing a thong in public.

Lord Windscar
Sephiroth, with Shin-Ra backing him, has the budget to perform his awesome Super Nova attack.

Kuja, who failed to pay the budget last year, cannot pay for the cool light effects of his Ultima, and leaves the arena as a poor hobo.

Meeplelard
Flare!"

"Shadow Flare!"

The two attacks collided again, as the two infamous FF bishie villains duked it out.

"Your good, Sephiroth, everything I'd expect from a man who has become quite possibly the biggest name in the RPG world"

"Your not so bad yourself, even if you are no different than no puppet's Hojo made" Sephiroth responded.

The match was going nowhere, Kuja and Sephiroth were matching each other blow for blow, but suddenly out of nowhere, a maniacal laughter was heard

"Fools! Battle all you want, but know that I am the supreme villain of our series. Uwhehehehe! This will be utterly delightful!" Shouted kefka, as he teleported into the ring.

"What are you doing here? This is an official match, if you want to fight, wait until afterwords!" Shouted Sephiroth

"Wait, he says? Do I look like a waiter? Now look, this is a prime opportunity to not take out only you, mama's boy, but also take out the spoiled monkey brat over there too, uwhehehehe! Afterwords, only I, kefka, will remain to claim myself as the supreme Final Fantasy Villain! Besides, I'm still angry from that finals last season!" He said, starting his typical jumping

"Not if I can help it!" Kuja shouted, hurling a flare star at Kefka

"No! I want to be the one to shut him up!" Shouted Sephiroth, smacking Kuja with the Masamune. Before another attack was thrown, though...

"Kome now, you worthless beings. I am already on the brink of Kompressing time! You are no different than those Kursed SeeDs!" Shouted Ultimecia

"And what do YOU want?" exclaimed Sephiroth.

"I am here to get the respekt I so rightfully deserve, of kourse!"

"Uhh...you don't get any respect cause, well, you know, you don't have a character TOO respect." Responded Kuja

"Ha! You are all fools! There is one thing you guys share in common, and that's being evil, and I am the embodiment of all that is evil, in otherwords, I am superior to you all!"

"So...now Zeromus wants in?" Kefka questioned

Zeromus appeared, annoyed that his "cover" was blown so quickly, and before he could say anything else...

"Alright, Ex-death, just come out already, we know your here too" Kuja shouted

"Blast! How did you know I was here?"

"Cause your an utterly boring piece of a crap whose a sad excuse of a villain and is completely predictable by every means neccessary..." Sephiroth explained

It was expected that Seymour would show up too, just cause of the way things were, but alas, this wasn't the case. It was clear this should be 1 on 1 match between Kuja and Sephiroth would turn into an all out free for all of FF villains until suddenly...

"SILENCE!" Jogurt shouted

"AH!" all 6 villains screamed in terror

"That's it, you guys have really annoyed me. I'll just choose a winner right here and now, and since this match OFFICIALLY is between only Kuja and Sephiroth, only those two will be randomly chosen, so..."

And thus, Jogurt, reaching into his helmet, pulled out a piece of paper with the winners name on it. And the name on the paper was...


Murphix
Clash of the Titans, here. While Sephy wins the Badass section of the match, he can't keep up with Kuja's nasty spellcasting. Sorry, silver-hair fanboys and girls.