Season 51, Week 3
Kresnik Ahtreide
(Wild ARMs 4)
 
Kinda funny when it's the PC that gets to watch and laugh as the boss slowly but surely runs out of steam and gets ground down, but that's exactly what's about to happen. Kresnik's defensive game is quite simply second to none, and his resources are deeper than any ocean the water fiend might claim to command. So what if Kresnik has damage that some Lights would laugh at? So what if he can't even hit his opponent's weakness to make that damage look at least halfway decent? You don't need damage when you simply won't ever die. Bit by bit, bullet by bullet, Cagnazzo will be worn away under the steady and relentless assault of the Pale Rider.

V

S

Ever seen an emo surfer? Someone who has mastered riding the Big Wave, unhappy with life and mopey? Didn't think so. Cagnazzo's gonna drown this emo boy with the power of water. He's one of the Elemental Fiends, cohort to Godlikes such as Rubicant and Valvalis. He may not have the power they command, but his water skills are truly mighty. Mighty enough to soak Kresnik anyway, who likely as not will go have himself a long cry and update his blog after tasting Cagnazzo's pain. Yes, update your blog and tell the world how you were washed away by the great Cagnazzo's magic. Your pathetic emotions shall be your DOOM against the Fiend of Water. Bwaaahahahahahhaa!


superaielman
Middle fights with lower interest fighters have long had trouble attracting fan interest. In an attempt to buck this, the Kresnik vs Cagnazzo fight was changed from a brutal brawl to the death to an emo contest, with the winner being decided based on the crowd reaction.

Caganazzo is no lightweight in the field. The usually forgotten and always mocked member of the four fiends, he has rotted away in middle for an Age while even the likes of Milon have gotten a ton of positive attention. He competes by quoting something from a song that appeals to his deep inner trauma.


Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
And sit alone and wonder...
How you're making out.
And as for me I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone...
Making out


Your hair it's everywhere.


Cagnazzo was roundly booed and had fruit and various other objects thrown at him, including several high grade Lightning spells. He was quickly burned to ash.

An incredible effort at emo. Kresnik was suitably impressed. Instead of quoting a lyric, he chose to pen something from the HEART.


I killed myself
Because I was such a loser so my sister wouldn't mourn
And well, Seifer's been my leader
But even he was cooler than me
and dumped me into the garbage
No one likes a whiny prettyboy
I get less love than everyone
Wooooooooooooooooooooe is meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


Kresnik's attempt at 'poetry' had neither met a metronome, rhythm, or anything of value ever. What sealed the deal was Kevin Winnicot coming out of the crowd, giving Kresnik a big hug and telling him how brilliant his plan to let himself die was.

The judges quickly ruled in favor of Kresnik's staggering self loathing and called in Indaldecio sans limiter to give him a proper reward for such failure.

It took one Earthquake for the crowd to break into cheers.

Kresnik Ahtreide: 34
Cagnazzo: 13