Season 51, Week 2
Jessica Albert
(Dragon Quest 8)
 
You'd best arrive on time if you want to see these fireworks. This fast-draw duel between two offensive powerhouses promises to be short and sweet. Jessica's buffing and stalling game might not be much use against Lady, but that's fine with her; she'll just kill Miss Malice before she can kill her. Jessica's superior speed will allow her to promptly introduce Lady to the brutal might of a full-MP Magic Burst, and while Lady's offense might be legendary, her durability is not in anywhere near the same class. Jessica's already demonstrated her talent for wreaking vengeance upon wandering malefactors; if she can fell a near-God such as Rhapthorne, this science experiment gone wrong shouldn't be any tougher.

V

S

It's a good season for strong women in Godlike, and even Lady is here to get in on the action. After all, you can't have carnage without the very incarnation of Malice! The former back-to-back Godlike champion faces off against the unfortunate Jessica Albert in the first round. Admittedly, Jessica's got some neat tricks she can pull, but this is Lady we're talking about. Jessica won't be able to stop her vast array of offensive spells, and anything Jessica tries to set up will be instantly nulled by Lost Progress. Even should she somehow gain the upper hand, Jessica will still need to survive a sweet-sounding Malice Dirge. Godlike better be ready for the second coming of Lady... it will be a reign of terror that'll be easy on the eyes.


Jo ou Ranbu

Well, well. Lady and Jessica Albert. Both are quite consummate beauties in their own worlds. Both are desired and feared, holding world-destroying magicks within their very fingertips. Quite a spectacle, right?

So, what happens when you pit one against the other in a mudpit fight?

====================

Yuri and Edge gazed at the brutalized arena stands in utter disbelief. While the rumors talked about quite a wreck to be seen, the fast talk couldn't quite convey the level of devastation they were witness to. The arena floor had nearly mile-wide cracks, and strewn bodies of just about every male NPC to inhabit the DL were cluttering the stands, most torn in tiny pieces, some lucky that they were just ripped in half. The few remaining chairs and furniture were still burning faintly, and a mountain of ashes could be seen among the ruins. There was even a small mudpit where the battered remains of Zidane and Sten were dropped.

"So... what the hell happened here?", Edge hesitantly asked, scratching his head.

Yuri sighed. "Zidane thought it was a good idea to cheat the arena quirk of the week's paperwork loads so we'd see Lady and Jessica mudfighting it out. I mean, it's not that I disapprove of your plain ol' fanservice, but you sorta don't want to mess with Godlike girls."

"So, the two of them just blew out the arena because of that?"

"Actually, not quite. They didn't even seem that phased, although they didn't like it. Just... when the fight was about to start, Sten started chanting 'VA. VA. VOOM!', and the whole audience caught it on. After that, Jess sorta went nuts, and Lady infused her with Malice for laughs. The rest... well. You see what just happened here."

Edge blinked. "... okay. So, what do we do now?"

Yuri shrugged, and looked away. "Eh, I don't care. Probably this is one of the times I'm glad I missed a womanizing scheme. I just don't want to see Alice's look when she gets home, though, the infirmary will be clogged for weeks."

The prince of Eblan sighed. "... I guess. But hey, who won the fight, then?"

"... who cares, everybody just died. I guess Lady won by technicality due to standing still for the whole affair while Jess went to strangle Vigoro with her whip in her frenzy, but I'm not keeping count."

"Fair enough", said Edge, scratching his head.

Just another day in the Duelling League, after all.

Jessica Albert: 9
Lady: 34