Season 51, Week 1
Brahms
(Valkyrie Profile Series)
 
Having faced down the Gods themselves, do you really think Brahms would quiver in fear over facing a lowly mortal, even one with excellent spellcasting abilities? The Vampire Lord’s fighting style may be exceedingly simple, but it’s also brutally effective. His powerful fists can take down the heartiest of warriors quickly, let alone a frail girl. And while Purim may have an arsenal of defensive spells, Brahms at least has the durability to take a few hits, giving him the time to unleash the Bloody Curse, which will spell Purim’s doom in short order regardless of whatever buffs she might cast. Throw in resistances to her stat downs and even the possibility of getting the first action, and Brahms should ensure that he’ll see yet another day…or at least another night, given his nature.

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Vampires. Hasn't Purim already proven herself here? She helped take down at least two vampiric bosses, and that Thanatos fellow was a lifeforce-sucking lich, which is close enough really. Brahms might allegedly be a good vampire, but he's suffering the same fate as the rest against one of the most relentlessly anti-physical mages around. Defender buffs Purim's defense to ridiculous levels, and Lucid Barrier can null Brahms' strikes entirely, rendering the poor vampire completely worthless. That's assuming Purim wants to even bother defending, of course - as a creature of the night, Brahms suffers an elemental weakness to Lumina's Lucent Beam, so promptly spamming the holy flashlight should finish the fight just as easily here against Brahms' subpar magic defense.


Taishyr
"Die, monster! You don't belong in this universe!"

"It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh. I was called here by humans who wish to show me their moves."

"Tribute? You steal men's souls, and make them your bondage slaves!"

"Hey now, let's not start with the blatant li-"

"Follow the script, idiot!"

"Oh, right. Perhaps the same could be said of all awesome warriors."

"Your words are as empty as your skull! Mankind ill needs a savior such as you!"

"What is a man? A miserable little pile of blood donations! But enough talk. Have at thee!"

The judges were too stupefied to watch the rest of the match. Whether it was because they got to see Brahms with a Guan Yu beard, Purim in a Lara Croft-style adventure getup, or hear such bad recitation, is unsure. Brahms was awarded the win because he had the least damage to be repaired once the audience finished crushing them.

Brahms: 28
Purim: 21