Season 48, Week 3
Patriarch Sergius XVII
(Xenosaga: Jenseits von Gut und Bose)
 
While a Pope coming face to face with an angel might normally be a scene from a religious painting, this match promises to be anything but holy, and - WHAT? Sephiroth doesn't even want to dignify his alleged superiority over Sergius and plugs in shameless merchandise instead!? This is simply egregious! This arrogant One-Winged Angel, just because he has insane speed and a mighty physical, he thinks he can just go away like that and ignore Sergius' durability edge? Well! While that phony angel is busy marketting his new program, Sergius will merrily stock Boost levels for the ultimate in religious symbolism: summoning a giant robot! Once he has the ability to summon his trusty Proto Omega for a few combo attacks, Sergius will make that brittle SOLDIER wish he took this fight more seriously! For shame, a mighty church ruler from space deserves better than being mocked by PR releases!

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Due to Patriarch being terribly, hopelessly outclassed by Sephiroth (weak to physicals and slower than the SOLDIER? Ahahahaha), the One-Winged Angel instead chose to talk about his new Adopt-a-Villain program in this space. Do you know that there are dozens of evildoers in Light, struggling to fulfill their villainy jobs and prove their mettle? These despondent would-be scummies tried everything to be the scorn of the universe - unsuccessfully so. Seph's sponsored villain of the week is Alenia. She once tried to take candy from a little girl! But Alanis promptly burned her down. She's tried conning, stealing, and even picking a fight with Dario! Nothing has worked, and this sadness must stop. Only your charitable donations can reform this wretched specimen into a true baby-eating monster of the DLverse! The One-Winged Angel awaits for your generous response, and gives his sincere regards in advance.


superaielman
What happens when you pour millions of Gil into Alenia, making her into an incredible killing machine while entirely ignoring prepration for your battle with a space pope? If you're Sephiroth, you carve Sergius to death with a couple of masamune strikes and watch as Alenia picks a fight with Luca Blight, the bully of the Suikoverse. Well, watch Luca Blight cut off Alenia's arms and break every bone in her body while screaming about pigs. It turns out that money -can't- buy you competency. Sephy's fund is going to have to aim a little higher next time.

Patriarch Sergius XVII: 9
Sephiroth: 31