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Kyogre (Pokémon Series) |
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After felling one of the most terrifying beings to ever threaten the Duelling League proper in Profound Darkness, the mythical beast Kyogre has a far less imposing opponent to face this week. Against the kid detective Johnny Garland, famed for his silly pictures and his Malice form, there isn't much to fear: his secret Ether Purge attack not only hits Kyogre's nigh-impenetrable magical resilience, making the entire effort completely laughable on Johnny's part, but Johnny lacks the resources to use it more than once. And, with his subpar durability and comparatively woeful speed, even a single Hydro Pressure risks killing him outright before he even gets a shot in. If not, though, a Calm Mind will ensure this will happen, and Johnny's offense is woefully inept after Ether Purge runs out. A simple fight for the magical whale, that's for sure. |
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Man, we already know how this one is going to end. No matter what kind of fight this ends up being, like because Kyogre's pretty strong for a Gobot or whatever, it is just going to end in Johnny in his transformed Malice form flying around in space riding around on Kyogre while playing a guitar with each hand. Then, he is going to start a band called Mizer with Kyogre. While they rock out for their tenth anniversary Johnny is going to take off his rubber mask and turn out to have been Gackt this whole time, and then he is going to sucker punch Kyogre in the kidney so hard that he catches on fire during his big bass guitar solo, and no one is going to be able to take Kyogre seriously ever again and he will be so humiliated that he will forfeit the duel. Godlike matchups are just harsh like that, and Johnny's totally packing in Godlike. |
Foliage And so, after his heroic victory over Tidus, here Johnny had a bit of a problem. You see, when you win against someone in a battle of talents rather than brawls, word tends to go out. And word tends to be heard. And word tends to be heeded. So as a result, when Johnny proposed to Kyogre to do the same contest, the legendary Pok�mon refused! This made Johnny very struck, for he certainly didn't feel too confident fighting Kyogre. With three days before the match, he shut himself in his room and began pondering and thinking very hard. On the first day, Johnny approached Kyogre and suggested they would have a singing contest, being quite convinced his voice could carry far. The Pokemon refused. On the second day, Johnny suggested a guitar contest. They would both jam out heavily and the one whose jam was best would win the match! Kyogre would've liked to accept, but unfortunately there wasn't a guitar the Pokemon could hold in its... fins? Its fins, and so that was a no go either. Finally, the third day, Johnny was struck with brilliance and he met Kyogre again. He spoke, long, hard, and eloquently, and finally the Pokemon gave it a good hard thought and accepted. ------ "So, lemme get this straight..." Yuffie began, being quite puzzled. "Johnny... forfeited the match in return for being allowed to follow Kyogre for the rest of the contest and get exclusive rights to both photograph him and publish the pictures?" The other judges could only affirm this story. Even though Kyogre advanced to the next match, Johnny avoided having to fight again and became all the richer from it. It proves again that, even when you lose, sometimes you win. Kyogre: 31 Meeplelard
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