Season 47, Week 1
Profound Darkness
(Phantasy Star 4)
 
After a well-earned respite, the incarnation of all the malice in the entire Algol Solar System has reawakened, and with quite the destructive appetite to match that colossal fury. As such, brutalizing a rare whale should be quite a fancy warm-up for the destroyer of galaxies! Kyogre may look impressive for a beast in its own world, but the Profound Darkness sees it as a mere, glimpsing dust pixie ready to be crushed under its all-reaching hands! Its resilience is nothing that a few castings of Megid and a few flesh-tearing physicals can't handle! And, against Calm Mind, Canceller will do its magic, rendering all of the whale's tiny little efforts supremely pointless! Scream in terror, beast! The engulfing darkness is about to cast its shroud onto Godlike once more!

V

S

Control over the evil in an entire galaxy? That certainly sounds impressive, but the giant whale Kyogre hardly has anything to do with that. Its power may be less vast, but it's certainly more than enough to fell the Profound Darkness, who once was slain by beings with far less of a blessing than the ruler of all waters. Kyogre's strategy will be very simple: outspeed the vile being, open with Calm Mind to render Shadowbreaths ineffective, and then begin stalling. Once he has fully buffed his defenses and offenses, stopping to rest here and there, his Waterspouts will be so potent even Profound Darkness's multitude of forms will fall in a single torrent. Unintuitive, sure, but true, and Kyogre certainly will enjoy getting a victory against a former Godlike champion.


superaielman
"You have GOT to be kidding me."

[Not in the least. I'm calling in all of those favors you've asked for over the years.]

"Even I haven't picked a fight with the Profound Darkness. It's nice not having every -single- Godlike after me, you know?"

[You won't even be fighting PD.]

"Yes. Because fighting Neo Granzon on foot is so much safer."

[Shu was hired for this, he won't take it personally. Stop complaining, Edge. I've even secured an immorality item for you.]

"..Chantage? I really hate you."

[It'll help with that wonderful odor you so permeate. More on topic, remember the Infinity Dragon incident?]

"...Still hate you, but I'm putting it on. Why do this?"

[Kyogre banned liquor consumption at Pokemon gatherings and smashed anyone who tried to drink on his watch. Blastoise has gone sober and no longer tries to strip off his shell for TMs.]

"*Shudder*"

[Yes. To the arena.]

=======


An often successful, always obnoxious hero battling to the death against impossible odds against an overwhelming opposing force, one that held a huge adavantage in every single possible ability besides speed. The Profound Darkness was naturally captivated by the fight, as was everyone watching. Even by the prince's standards it was complete insanity-a single attack from the Granzon would level an entire arena, let alone one man. Yet not a single person was shocked when Edge scraped himself off the ground and threw a Fuma at the pilot's window of the Neo Granzon. It takes a special lack of common sense to pick a fight with the deadliest mech in the known universe, but Edge is a special man.


PD was a creature of complete and total evil and thus possessed nearly infinite powers. Not even the TimeLord after absorbing three Kefkas (Narshe, Final, and the super secret Thamasa Kefka) could even come close to felling it in a blow. But Kyogre was notable even in Godlike for overwhelming strength and for the huge bonuses he got for water damage.

What, then, would holy water do to PD? Holy water that hit her substandard defense? Holy Water that slays the bosses in it's home universe in one hit? A quick trip to the Not Ranked area by a paid flunky secured the services of one Ricther Belmont and a cask of Blessed Water. Kyogre's natural affinity to water attacks let him pick up the attack extremely quickly.. and PD's natural advesion to holy attacks let PD.. well..

The wicked witch of the west would be proud of PD's shrieks of agony as Kyogre literally melted the demonic creature of Algol in a single use of Hydrostorm. Kyogre's celebration would however be short lived.

======

To everyone's surprise, the lone Fuma Edge threw in desparation sliced through the layers of technologically advanced armor and left a shallow gash on Shu's face. While Shu had been paid off to merely smash Edge a few times, he was given assurances that he would not be harmed. Not that it was needed, like any creature on foot could stand up to his might. But... this... FOOL! HE HAD SCARRED SHU'S FACE. HE MUST SUFFER FOR THIS. And suffer Edge did.

"Worm Smasher, fire!"

The lasers quickly ripped through another dimension and back into the DLverse, focusing their might on the battered form of Edge. A flash of light engulfed Edge, leaving a massive crater where he had stood. There was no sign of the ninja who had once stood there.

[This was not part of the plan. To the clerics.]

Profound Darkness: 20
Kyogre: 26