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Kain Highwind (Final Fantasy IV) |
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Soaring into the arena, it's everyone's favourite dragoon, Kain! Say what you will about Kain's lacklustre damage, his lack of skillset, and the fact that dragoons are actually mounted gunslingers; he's still going to teach Middle a thing or two. Kain has fought his way up from Light, despite his detractors - a testament to his determination and underrated ability. And now, he'll do the same in his current division. Sure, he wasn't able to overwhelm Raven or Cecile, but those were top-tier physical sluggers. MOMO, by comparison, is extremely weak. With a physical frame almost as fragile as her appearance suggests, she'll be easy prey for Kain's deadly jump attacks. And what about those transformations of hers? Well, they're based on time, and Kain's ability to soar out of the arena for periods of time is just the ticket for timing them out. Watch out, Middle! The classic dragoon is going to teach you a lesson! |
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Magical Girl MOMO, engage! Brimming with mysterious powers, the observational Realian born from Joachim Mizrahi's ambitions and dreams steps out to make good use of the skills given by the brilliant scientist, and no angsty Dragoon will be able to stop her! Armed with her trusty Penguin Rod and a wide array of magical powers and transformations, MOMO is sure to slow Kain down enough to make his spear stabs useless, also enjoying a natural speed advantage over him. And his Jump ability? Well, it certainly won't do much good when he's giving the Realian a free opportunity to heal up her wounds with Life Shot. All this may sound terribly demeaning to Kain's skills, but the raw data assessment shows that this fight errs on the one-sided spectrum of things for MOMO. Regardless, no hard feelings, okay? If she beats Kain up that badly, she certainly won't mind helping the infirmary staff with his recovery. |
Joou Ranbu Kain had seen countless horrors in his life. He had conquered them all, including the embodiment of all hatred. However, nothing could prepare him for what stomped his hopes in this fight. *** The arena's remains were still fresh on debris and the dust hadn't settled from the cracks on the floor yet. Under the debris, Kain Highwind's dead body was left to rot, his expression frozen in a frame of visceral terror. Lucca Ashtear glanced at his face and sighed. "More or less what I expected." Marle scratched her head as she looked up, glancing at the twenty-feet monstrosity wearing a space schoolgirl suit, small pigtails and a silhouette that would remind one of an elegant, strong adult. Wearing a space schoolgirl suit and pigtails and a giant plastic hammer. Obviously, something very terribly wrong had happened. "You mean, you planned for THAT?", Marle pointed to the gigantic silhouette. "Well, sorta. MOMO asked me for a stronger, more durable transformation sequence for the fight with Kain, since she was a bit insecure about her other costumes. I thought it'd be cool to try and do something, since, you know, fixing Realians is pretty new to me. For science and all that. Buuuuuuuuut..." "Buuuuuuuuuuuuut...", Marle stared impatiently at her obviously evasive friend. Lucca, then, suddenly kneeled, breaking down in tears. "I... I just finished a Ranma 1/2 marathon and I was hopped on anime! Anyone would have faltered like that under such an influence! You have to understand!" "... wait. So, you watched that series and suddenly thought that giving MOMO a transformation that turned her into a twenty-foot-tall man wearing a school outfit and pigtails would be a good idea?" Marle winced, rubbing her temples. "Well, not really. It was supposed to be really simple. Instant Man-MOMO, just add water during her transformation sequence. But she was supposed to turn into Gaignun, not twenty feet of Hugo Weaving in Priscilla Queen of the Desert... I guess I needed a bit more time tweaking her specs", Lucca scratched her head, drying a few of her tears. Marle sighed. "Well, in hindsight, her face does look a lot like Gaignun's. Just the pink goate and EVERYTHING ELSE that went wrong sorta... cancel, or something. And don't let me get started on the legs." "Don't mention the legs, I'm gonna have nightmares for weeks after seeing them. At least, the transformation will be over in a few minutes. And hey, she won the match, didn't she?", Lucca remarked, smiling unsincerely after that. She knew she was in deep. "Juli Mizrahi and the Kukai Foundation will rip your spine and your savings into tiny pieces when they find out, you know", Marle said fornlornly as she shaked her head. "Eh, that's what time travel is for. I think spending some time in the jolly '80s will be a good idea right now. If you want, I can bring you too." "Only if you bring me to a Madonna concert", Marle replied. Lucca sighed. "Fiiiiiiiine. I'm not piggybacking you while you shout 'I LOVE YOU MADONNA' again, though, my spleen hasn't recovered from the last show." Afterwards, the Epoch could be seen soaring through the skies as the giant Man-MOMO finished its rampage through the Duelling League fields. After the insanity was over, MOMO locked herself in her room in shame, and hasn't been seen since. Kain himself was sent to a sanitarium, and expect him to recover from the shock in a few years. Kain Highwind: 17 |
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