Season 45, Week 2
Mog
(Final Fantasy VI)
 
Kupo! Everyone's favourite party-choosing, encounter-ignoring, slam-dancing moogle returns to the RPGDL arena. The frog prince may have gotten to Middle, but Mog has been close to Heavy, and as such means to show this slacker prince how different the new division is. Jean has accurate instant death? So does Mog, with his Dusk Requiem dance's Snare. And the moogle is much fleeter of foot, with more accurate instant death and better magical resistance to boot. Could this be any easier? Well, there's the small detail of getting those dance steps right, but that's only sporting given how one-sided this match would be otherwise for him. Besides, Mog can't afford a mistake here! No moogle could stand the shame of losing to a mere frog, royalty or not.

V

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The power of the French amphibians return! The Prince of Simafort, and cook extraordinaire, faces off this time against an almighty tank god... moogle! As many know, Mog's big schtick in the dueling arena is the ability to survive hilarious amounts of damage, and not keel over dead thanks to his Snow Muffler. But then again, people said the same thing about Jogurt years back, and Jean took him out anyway with practiced ease and not a few comments about hamster soup. With a few well timed Death spells flung at the wary moogle's face, one of them is bound to hit the slam dancing opponent before he can get his own fatal status off, and the recently upgraded Light Champ will move onto the next round; quite a good start in his new division, non?


Taishyr
"AUTO-KILL THIS, PUNK-A** ***** ************ *** ********! KUPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

These were the only words heard before Mog piloted the Falcon into the stadium, crushing his opponent Jean and, well, the entire stadium. Of course, since Setzer owns the Falcon, Mog was disqualified and Jean awarded the match after being reassembled.

Jean was unavailable for comment. Mog just hit the cameraman with a beer bottle and is reported as saying "You ****** kupoing ********! I'm gonna ******* kupo ********** steel wool ****** your face!"

Needless to say, the Happy Fun Moogle Show is reconsidering their contract again.

Mog: 24
Jean: 44