Season 42, Week 1
Flonne
(Disgaea: Hour of Darkness)
 
Angel Trainee Flonne, renowned for being a healer unable to heal herself, and the aquatic merchant Gobi, infamous far and wide for having the destructive potential of a cabbage when he's out of the water. You wanted Epic, you got it. A titan will fall in the arena this week. Empires will tremble. Judges will yawn. Truly, this will be a slapfight for the ages. Well...for what it's worth, Flonne does have a couple advantages here. Gobi's as agile as, well, as a fish out of water (did you really expect us to not say that?), so while Flonne's no speedster herself, she can count on a few extra turns. Also, the fish's magic defense is subpar, meaning Flonne's Holy Arrows will strike to good effect. With all these advantages, Flonne's ready to throw this fish back.

V

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Ask 100 people on the street who would win in a fight between a little girl with a stick and a giant fish-man with a spear, and at least 95 of them will tell you the fish-man takes it with ease. Four of them will wet their pants in fright at the thought of a giant fish-man, and one of them always has to be contrary. The same basic principle can be applied here. The only difference is, the little girl with a stick is actually an angel-in-training who happens to be over a thousand years old and could maybe shoot lasers, and the fish-man is... Gobi. Even with the energy attacks included, though, Flonne still isn't exactly threatening, so Gobi should be able to eek out a victory for the pride of fish-men everywhere.


SageAcrin
A mighty roar.

Two massive, clawed feet, raking the arena.

Gobi, staring up in horror.

Flonnezilla had come for him. His time was nigh...

---

"Um...Etna...I don't think anyone's going to really believe that Giga Bowser is me..." Flonne noted, as Bowser spun violently, encasing the poor fishman in a blizzard.

"Relax, he looks just like you." Etna replied, smiling.

"No, he doesn't!" "Sure he does. Look, the flat chest, the massive, powerful thighs, the sharp, rending fangs, the small brain, the ground-pounding earthquake-making bu-" "ETNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Flonne shrieked, chasing the laughing Etna out of the stands.

"Hum. I guess I should have told her that I just bought the judges. But, that's okay. This was funnier." Laharl shrugged, as he watched them go.

"Man, that Bowser would make a fine vassal, if only he could stay big..." He added meditatively. "Of course...maybe if I...hmhmhm..." He chuckled softly.

Flonne: 46
Gobi: 18

Meeplelard
The Crowd was stunned.
The Judges were at a loss too.
Actually, just about everyone but Flonne didn't have a single clue what had transpired.

That being the fact that Flonne not only agreed to challenging Gobi to a swimming match, but was the one who CAME UP WITH THE IDEA.

One could say that this was not one of Flonne's better ideas.