Casting Call
~Gatewalker

Slipping into the 7th Heaven bar, Ryu the Fifth felt a little silly being so careful and secretive for a simple meeting with a director, but Nadir insisted on absolute secrecy before he would reveal his latest find that he claimed would 'revolutionize' the entire process of casting a play. And now he was about to make himself feel even more silly just to find out what the eccentric man had up his sleeve.

Moving nonchalantly up to the bar, Ryu could only take some solace in the fact that it was very early afternoon and nobody really frequented bars at this hour, so he didn't have to say this in front of a lot of people. Nodding to Tifa to get her attention, the ranger sighed and mumbled as she approached, "Lady, I've got a blind date with destiny. And it looks like she's ordered the lobster."

As he spoke, Tifa just sighed, "Nad, er, the 'masked man's' guest, right? He's been in the basement for the last hour spouting off random quotes and waiting for you. Seems pretty nervous about something. Anyway, the way down is right over there. Have fun, or something."

Shrugging, Ryu moved over to the pinball machine and rode the not-so-secret elevator down to the basement, where he was immediately greeted by Nadir's hissed questioning, "Quickly man, send it back up! Were you followed? Have you spoken of this meeting to anyone? Answer me man!" which was of course accompanied by dramatic gesturing and pointing.

"In order, I'm already sending it up, no I wasn't, no I haven't, and will you chill out." Shaking his head, Ryu moved over to a chair and had a seat, eyeing a suspicious object covered by a cloth on a nearby table, "So what's this secret meeting all about anyway? Why the paranoia?"

Once the elevator clicked back up, Nadir seemed to relax a bit, and moved over to stand next to the table with the cloth covered object, "The reason? Why, my good friend, the reason for all this secrecy is nothing less," with his usual flair, the masked stage director pulled the cloth from the table, leaving the object it covered in plain view, "then THIS!"

Ryu looked at the object, and then looked back up at Nadir with a raised eyebrow, "It's a hat."

And it most assuredly was a hat. A simple looking top hat, black and unadorned, though for all of it's simplicity, Ryu began to get a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he observed it.

Nadir smiled at this observation(or at least Ryu imagined him smiling behind that mask), and leaned over conspiratorially, "Ah, but this is no ordinary hat, my friend. This is a wondrous work of magic and technology, a mechanical hat with the powers of pure chaos and ultimate authority bound into it's workings. This is a item of such power that it's very existence must never be spoken of beyond the two of us, or surely those who would abuse it's power will seek to steal it away."

This only furthered both the confusion and feelings of uneasiness the Ranger was suffering from, "So...it's some kind of robotic hat. Right. Uh, what exactly does it do, Nadir? And what does it have to do with me?"

"Can't you see? We use it's power of randomness to cast a play, and any who it casts are bound to act! It is the ultimate test of art in the masses! What could be better then casting parts at random to allow those who would not have the courage to audition to experience the making of art!"

Now Ryu was really not sure about this, "What do you mean, 'bound to act'? You mean if this hat throws out a name, they have no choice? Doesn't that sound kind of...evil, taking away free will like that?"

Now Nadir shook his head, "Ah, in some hands it would be, and that is why I insisted on the secrecy. But we would use it only for casting plays. And really, what harm can come to someone for acting in a play, even against their own will? It is a chance to have people broaden their horizons, and get the whole world into acting. Is that not a noble goal?"

"I still don't like it, but...I see where you're coming from. Alright, we'll try it out once, and if I don't like the results, I crush the thing and we forget this ever happened. Deal?"

Taking a bow, Nadir agreed, "You have my word. Now, did you bring what I asked for?"

Nodding, Ryu pulled out a quartet of folders, "Yeah, my latest manuscripts. Here." Handing them over to Nadir, he then returned his scrutiny to the device, "So, how does this work, anyway?"

Taking the scripts, Nadir neatly rolled them up and fed them into the hat, one by one, "Like so. Now, we just wait for it to pick one to use and give us our cast..."
  • Steiner as the rakish bandit and Kanon as the helpless princess? Oh, this’ll be good.
  • Sometimes silence isn’t golden. Like when you have Crono and Tir staring in a comedy musical.
  • Terra and Albedo star in Peach’s Castle, a children’s musical. This cannot end well.
  • The machine is pure evil. Ryu5 himself must star opposite Bowser in a risqué romance drama.

mepmep
"So in this script the two of us go to MarioWorld and are helping orphans?"

Nadir nodded as he glanced from Terra to Albedo, "Yes, although it's a play... they're not real orphans."

"I love orphans!" Terra was apparently ignoring that this was a play.

"Yes... I love orphans too." Albedo could barely hide his smirk.

Terra glanced at Albedo, lacking the least bit of suspicion, "People say such bad thing about you Albedo, I can't see why though."

***********

Sadly, the children's musical never happened. Albedo changed the script a bit and shit hit the fan during rehearsal. Peach's advisors tried to cover it up as much as possible, but coverups don't work in today's world.

Albedo added a bathtime scene to the play.
Terra was oblivious.
Nadir showed up when Terra, Albedo, and a dozen "orphans" were in the showers together.
Albedo blasted Nadir, saying that he was ruining the mood.
Terra was apparently still oblivious.

No one knows for sure just how long this went on, but sources tell us that an "orphan" finally clued Terra in on what Albedo was doing.

If you go to RPGDLtube you can still see the footage of Albedo being Killed and ressurected by Terra for a solid half hour. Thankfully the rest of the footage was erased, and Albedo can't remember a thing because of his numerous killings.

Morale of the story: No matter how oblivious someone may be to the most obvious issues, they will eventually figure out what is going on and Ultima your ass.

Steiner and Kanon: 10
Crono and Tir: 11
Terra and Albedo: 18
Ryu and Bowser: 13

Lezard Valeth
Terra and Albedo starring in Peach's Castle in a children's musical?

Well after the play parents and Terra, Celes and everyone else for that matter went into berserker mode and trash Albedo forcing him to hide (yes he actually has to hide) from the general DL populace.

As for Nadir's hat, Ryu 5 subsequently destroyed it and it became an unknown and forgotten part of the DL history.

"By the Nadir, where'd you get the hat?"

"That's the thing", Nadir said to Ryu 5, "It just suddenly appear with the instruction and all."

Ryu 5 replied, "Why do I get this feeling that this won't be the end of this fiasco...."

Magic Fanatic
The play will go smoothly, until Bowser, of course, screws up and gets himself torn limb from limb by Wyrm.

Taishyr
Except Ryu5 gets subbed out for Borgan last-minute.

Game over, Bowser! GAME OVER!