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Super Equity Friends: The Ultimate Challenge "CHU!!!!!" "...who let Chu-chu out of her cage THIS time? I thought we agreed she would be locked up until we finished with the guests on grounds that she would frighten them!" asked Alkaiser, "I wanna say its Gordon, but that feels too obvious here..." Mystere said, pacing back and forth near a side of the room. "BLIP BLIP BLEEP BLOOP CAGE UNLOCKED SINCE RODENT IS MEMBER OF SUPER HERO FORCE BLEEP." replied a robot. "Figures it was the robot's fault...speaking of which, I don't remember a robot being on the audition list..." spoke the (somewhat self proclaimed) leader of the team as he eyed the robot speculatively. "Well, that I can tell you IS Gordon's fault," said the only (human) female member of the squad with a shrug, "since, apparently, that Robot and that other girl over there are Gordon's sidekicks, so..." "...so you're saying that I'm obliged to make them honorary members?" replied Alkaiser, with a frown. "That's the jist of it!" "...well, at least we have something to keep our defenses in check, I suppose..." "You mean feeding that large flying serpent like dragon, capable of dispelling any weather related natural disaster, right outside our window?" Mystere said, looking out of a window of the Quazadome as Rayquaza lazily spiraled past. "Yes, I do. But anyway, we need some way to keep Chu-chu before she knocks over the snack table..." "Maybe we should just start the auditions?" Mystere asked, frustration beginning to seep in. "Yes, as a DEFENDER OF EARTH!!!, I, Gordon, shall help choose our next ally in justice!" "Did we actually agree to letting Gordon having rights over deciding who joins?" Mystere looked to Alkaiser, frowning. "No, but play along; its better he thinks he's playing a role. I assigned that role to his sexy female sidekick over there." "I thought you just asked what they were doing here?" "And I decided to take advantage of it within the past 30 seconds, is there a problem with that?" "No, just insuring the continuity of this story makes se-" Mystere was about to finish before the Princess Punisher smacked him over the head for nearly breaking the 4th wall. "Anyway, lets just start this. Grand Papillion, wanna do the honors of calling in the first one!" "Of course! Oh glorious candidates of our wonderful squad of brilliance, you are to enter in a one by one fashion! The first one to come shall be the green haired one with the scarf that defies physics by blowing in the wind while indoors! Remember, everyone, a flashy entrance earns you big points here!" "Oh, I knew my routine would come in handy!" said the first contestant from behind the door. Back at the judges table, where the whole Squad minus one "mascot" was sitting... "Alright, so where is the first contestant?" Alkaiser was saying as the lights turned off "...I think that just answered my question" he followed up looking up to see Spotlights in front of a silhouette. "Once a demon of darkness, now a warrior who has learned that justice conquers all! Hailing from Filgaia, I am..." the figure said, leaping from the shadows, the spotlight following him... "The. Mega. Oblique. Notorious. Stupendous. Triatholon. Enormous. Reversed. Zealot!" the green haired figure said, posing (or simply changing the camera views) for each word of his name. A universal "..." could be used to describe four of the five judges' reactions, while Gordon's smile sparkled with great brilliance, apparently intrigued by this. A large piece of tumbleweed apparently rolled across the floor at this very moment too. The silence was only broken when a large "Here you go-CHU!!!" was heard followed by a draconic roar and a large orange flash. The end result of this was a large indentation of what looked like a spherical rodent protruding into the base. "Umm...well, the entrance was great, but..." Mystere started. "There's this little issue of...you see..." followed the Princess. "I'll be blunt. Your name is too damn long. One thing a Super Hero has to have on villains is efficiency, and that's impossible with a name that long," ended their leader. "Oh...yeah, sorry about that. You see, I had this name set up and figured it could use a little more flair, so I went for someone to help form another name from my original one..." "...who did you go for help?" said Alkaiser. "Liz, the mad alien lizard scientist apparently in an alternate dimension of my planet..." "...well, that certainly explains a lot. What WAS the original name anyway?" replied Mystere. "Monster Z..." "Well, I can't blame you for wanting to change that. A name like that, after all, sounds a bit villainous...but then you are a reformed villain now fighting on the side of good, right?" Said Princess Punisher donning glasses no one has ever seen her wear before while reading the rèsumè. "Given the alternative, I think the name is fine. Besides, a little difference in names couldn't hurt!" Mystere said enthusiastically "Yes! Truly worthy of being a DEFENDER OF EARTH!!!" Everyone merely looked at Gordon, then proceeded to go back to business at hand. Alkaiser then said to the guest "In any event, you passed the sign ups part, head back to the waiting room, where hopefully the snack table is still intact... though I must admit I am not optimistic at this point... and we'll call you when the second stage begins." "Thank you! You will not regret considering my finesse!" the aptly named Monster Z said in parting. In a moment of awkward silence, which no one could explain given all that happened was Monster Z leaving the room, a thought occurred to Mystere. "So, anybody know what happened outside?" "I think your little mascot tried to feed that big semi-cosmic wyrm with conventional liver and onions, and well..." Jennifer said, glaring at the indentation left in the wall. "...well, that certainly makes sense. Hopefully that'll keep her in check..." Mystere said, trying to hold back a smirk. "Oh alas, our poor Mascot! Fear not as I, Gordon, DEFENDER OF EARTH!!! will rescue you from the cold depths of space!" Gordon yelled, running out of the room. "No. Do not bother questioning it. Remember, he was the one who chose Chu-chu to be our mascot. I think its best we just move on while Gordon is busy with that futile task..." Mystere said into the silence that followed. "Yes, I agree. Besides, that leaves a seat open for one of our REAL judges, doesn't it?" the Princess said. "Yes, it does. Take a seat, Jennifer was it?" said Alkaiser, sipping his coke that was very much not there just a moment ago. "Oh, thank you." "Anyway, guess I'll call in the next one." Alkaiser nodded. "Old man, you're up!" Silence occurred. "I said, call in the next guest! Grand Papillion, where is he?" "I don't know! I called him in, told him to be as impressionable and glorious as possible, and yet he wasn't there!" There was another awkward moment of silence, followed by another illogical tumbleweed floating by. This time, the lack of noise was not interrupted by anything really that unusual (or perhaps, usual by their standards), but rather... "Aha! But I am already here, but you cannot see me!" a voice shouted from behind a large American flag, materializing out of thin air. "...well, ok, he IS technically telling the truth, since I can't see him, just...ah..." said the Princess Punisher. "Oh, get out of there and just do your entrance!" shouted Alkaiser angrily. "From deep within the shadows of Brazil, this sword! From the free country, this outfit! From the guidance of the Jonin himself, these muscles! I am...THE SEPTAGENERIC NINJA!" "That entrance looks...umm...surprisingly familiar..." said Mystere politely "I know I saw that from someone else..." followed up Princess Punisher, confused Alkaiser simply eyed the Grand Papillion who was applauding for a good job. Then turned his attention, alongside the other judges, to the actual participant. "Aha! Yes! Thank you! I will be of great assistance to your crew!" "Could you maybe try something more original next time?" responded Alkaiser, a bit frustrated. "Has anybody noticed how the Grand Papillion hasn't noticed his routine has been copied?" noted Jennifer. "He tends to not notice a lot of things...it's often better that way, I think." Mystere responded. "Well, don't call us, we'll call you, now please step aside as we call in the next contestant!" Alkaiser rattled off. "Why can't I call you now?" "'cause phone lines don't reach an orbital space station." "Aha! Well, now like a Ninja, I shall disappear!" Frank said, throwing a smoke bomb, and then running out of the smoke into the next room. "...well, I think he at least deserves points for effort, maybe?" said Jennifer, puzzled by the whole thing. (ANNOUNCER: And remember, folks, this is from someone who spends a lot of time with Gordon.) "Whatever, Mystere, call in the next guest, will you?" "NEXT!!!!!" Mystere yelled unnecessarily loud at the top of his lungs. There was no response. "I said NEXT!" he yelled in the same manner. This time, all that appeared was a simple flying pink rodent. Everyone there was puzzled by this, given they had no clue how a pink bat could appear in an orbital space station...that is, everyone but Grand Papillion. "...oh great. I didn't know she was one of the candidates..." "What? Where is this supposed potential?" said Alena leaning over the desk, trying to get a glance at what apparently only Joachim could see. "She's right in front of us! Just show yourself!" said the large wrestling vampire in a rare burst of anger. The Pink Bat, with a sparkling flash, turned into none other than Hilda Valentine of the Slim variety, dressed in her usual outfit, with a look that seemed to say both "immensely disappointed" and "spoiled brat." "Awww! You just ruined my entrance, Joachim! Give me a break!" "You know this girl, Grand Papillion? And further more, how does she know your secret identity?" asked the Princess Punisher harshly. "We have rules about such things!" "She's my sister..." "...great, just what we need another Grand...er..." Alkaiser started saying under his breath, until he realized he was almost audible "I mean, let's get back to the auditions!" he said in an attempt to recover from that awkward position. "Anyway, state your Super Hero name, and possibly some powers you have..." "I am the Ballerina Mask! My powers involve destroying the forces of evil and sucking the blood of corruption from this world!" "I...see...anything else?" Princess Punisher said, yet again donning those glasses. "Well, if you must know, madam, I can transform!" "If its only that bat form, I don't want to..." at this point, it was interrupted when, after a explosion of pink dust Hilda was standing was a much shorter, plump version of herself. The following reaction was a universal "Awwwww." "She's so cute! We must have her on our team!" exclaimed Alena, glasses falling off. "It is... unbearably... cute, but... well, cuteness matters for so little when fighting the forces of evil. She does this to everyone she meets to get her way! Don't be fooled!" said the male Valentine harshly. The Ballerina Mask twirled around on her toes and fluttered her eyelashes before departing. There was a bit of silence for no reason followed by the sound of... of... "Is... that Gordon trying to crowbar Chu-chu from the side of the station?" Mystere peered out of the window speculatively. " Well, with her out of the way, why don't we call in the last candidate for our GLORIOUS!!! team!" stated the brother of the last contestant, eager to get the Ballerina Mask out of their minds. "We might as well, call in the last one, will you, Princess?" "NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she shouted, causing the entire station to rattle loudly. "BLEEP BLEEP BLIP BLEEP. DECIBEL LIMIT HAS BEEN BREACHED. EMERGENCY SHUT DOWN INITATED." said the robot from the corner of the room. Everyone else had a loud ringing in their ears. Thankfully for them (or perhaps, the participant), the entrance of the next contestant was mostly visual, so there was little lost. Well, besides some of Alkaiser's sanity. Coming in from the sunset shining through from the open door into the waiting room is a young, green-haired noble girl on a horse. Stopping right before the desk, she raises her staff and a bright flash of light appears! "Evil doers beware, for your time is near! Feel the divine wrath of Lady Lightbringer, and Le Stallion Magnifique!" The cricket effect occurred yet again, and yet again, it was interrupted by the sound of draconic roar followed by a rodent hitting the side of space station. "Thursday, what happened this time?" said Jennifer, rubbing her head with the back of her hand as she finished recalibrating Thursday from the previous mishap caused by the Princess Punisher. "BLEEP BLEEP MASCOT ATTEMPTED FOOD ON ATMOSPHERIC WYRM BLOOP BLIP SAME RESULT." "Well, anyway, the entrance was dramatic, if logic bending, but then I suppose that's the point of Lens flares..." said Mystere with a slight chuckle. "Well, can I ask one simple question... Lady Lightbringer, was it?" Alkaiser followed up, eyeing her. "Yes?" "What's with the names?" "Well, I wanted to use Princess Punisher, but the name was already taken..." this line was immediately followed up by the actual Princess Punisher whistling and looking the other way with a wicked grin, "so I had to make due with something else... but I feel this, too, captures my prowess!" "I...see..." "And what about the horse? Stallion's not French!" stated Mystere after a second. "Oh, I named him after a great horse warrior I heard of once!" "..." was universally "heard" from the table. Well, except from one person, who responded... "Aha! Truly a beautiful display of naming talent and wondrous power! You will be a fine addition to our team!" Grand Papillion said, flexing yet again. "Yes! I can't wait to join the cause in the fight against evil! With my divine protection, providence and healing powers combined with your team work, nothing can stand in the way of our righteous team!" "...that's assuming you make the cut, you know..." Alena responded. "Oh, I have faith that I'll get in!" "Um, yes, now please go back to the waiting room, so we can discuss the results of this... charade." stated Alkaiser, one eyebrow raised. After L'Arachel left, "...So...have you guys decided yet?" said Mystere. "This is going to take some time, I'm thinking..." replied Alkaiser, shaking his head. "The way I see it, we are winners no matter who we choose!" said the Princess Punisher. Who will be the next member of this powerful team of Super Heros! Will being an Honorary Member mean anything to Jennifer and Thursday beyond voting rights? Will Chu-chu ever realize that feeding Rayquaza normal food is not a good idea? And does anybody know whatever happened to Gordon who mysteriously disappeared after crowbarring Chu-chu off the side of the Quazadome? Tune in next time for... |
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Taishyr The new base was established in DL City itself, to provide a constant presence from which the Super Equity Friends could protect the world. With Groudon and Kyogre protecting that base, the inadeq- er, that is, the base was always safe from enemy attacks, no matter what! And with Rayquaza always above as a reminder, the base stayed safe no matter what. Another perfect victory for the Super Equity Friends! Monster Z: 11 Septageneric Ninja: 3 Ballerina Mask: 2 Lady Lightbringer: 9 Equity Friends South: 21 |