Season 39, Week 2
Meg
(Suikoden Series)
 
Eeeeeeeeeew, a monkey! Trickster and inventor dynamo Meg the Awesome should not have to face filthy chimps in arena battles! And the guy's a creepy pervert to boot? Aw dang, this requires immediate action! But Meg is a girl of action indeed - with a trustworthy Water Rune in hand, Meg knows Sten's limited castings of Missile can hardly deal with abundant Kindness Drops. And, while Sten is fast, Meg has nothing to worry about: once he's out of Missiles, he can do nothing to stop her - and her Trick Rune could very well end the fight far faster than the filthy monkey would expect. Creepy leechs and obnoxious simians, beware! A new representative of girl power is in town, and she's gonna kick some ass with the power of barrel science!

V

S

Monkey versus little girl. Give them both knives. Only one comes out alive. Who is going to win? That's right. The monkey. Because he is a hardcore monkey. A former soldier as well or something. Also fire magic that makes things blow up. Flaming monkey hype is go. There is no way a girl could possibly handle the might of Sten's flaming knife flaming poo fling combined assault. He can lie on the ground for a bit and then stab her when she moves. No chance for the little girl. Damn Monkeys are cool. Monkeys are going to take all the championships. The plan has already begun, it is in motion, it cannot be stopped. Zidane and Sten and the remaining monkeys, claiming domination. Worship your primate overlords now while you still live.


Magic Fanatic
After three hours of programming, Meg finally stood up. Changing a few of the codes in Gadget's programming was difficult, but it needed to be done if she didn't want to lose by disqualification of interference. Robots in the DL were starting to be programmed to attack perverts in the act on sight; Gadget flipping out during the match would be a bad thing.

Sten, however, had other ideas. He assumed to be his general pervert self, get a free grope, and a pass to the next match from disqualifying Meg due to robots in the audience attacking him.

The match, however, soon became akin to the famous Lucca vs. Lilka finals match of fame back in Season 30. It started out normally enough with Meg and Sten trading blows, Meg moving back to heal and Sten upping the ante for damage. About halfway through the match, it looked as if Sten was moving in for a physical attack and...

...Got straight at what he was aiming at - Meg's chest. At that very moment, Time seemed to stop as things registered... And Meg went haywire before the robots in the crowd finished registering processes. Pieces of Sten were cut from their origin and went flying everywhere. Pieces of leg were strewn across the arena, skull fragments could be seen in a spot, and the hands were missing completely. Sten's evisceration was performed with such speed and brutality that Luca Blight of all people could be seen cheering Meg on.

Using the Trick Rune on all the remains was probably overkill, though.



The judges (sans Luca), just sat and stared in awe of this one-man massacre. Three minutes finally revealed the conclusion.

"MAN that felt good. So I won, right?"

There were no objections.



The light show after the match was a spectacular sight to see. Meg was nowhere near it, as she was removing her pre-match edits to Gadget while humming a happy tune...

Meg: 50
Sten: 17