Season 38, Week 3
Miranda
(Grandia 3)
 
The most successful homemaker in the RPG universe returns this week to continue to strut her stuff on the Light floor. With a simple victory over the priestly Renault last week fresh in her mind, Miranda will be using the same tactics this week against the inept Steena. Her knives sharpened, it's time to chop up some so-called "Warrior of Light". More agile and cunning than Steena could ever hope to be, Miranda's ability to dictate the flow of the battle will be her greatest ally in this fight. A few castings of Tremor will end Steena's career pretty fast, like most of the rest of Light, and a casting of WOW! will give her Dagger Dash the power to cut Steena up in an instant with little problem. It's not like Steena poses much of a threat anyway - Miranda's speed and resilience allow her to take any blow Steena lands on her. Victory is easily within reach for the greatest MILF to ever walk the Earth. Her next target - Martha Stewart.

V

S

So Miranda has kitchen knives and can thrown them and make the ground explode and stuff. That is nothing. Steena can summon up the shadows of dead things and have a nice chat and a cup of tea. Plus swords. Not even someone as foolish as Miranda will be able to stand up to the full scale assault of Garai Shadow as he talks about his Pancreatic cancer or the joys of passing kidney stones after you are already dead since spiritual kidney stones are horrible, just horrible. Also there is gratuitous Hydra and Miranda dressed up as a school girl scene. With the hydra already being dead. Not to mention whatever the other thing Steena could do was. It was way awesome naturally. When it comes down to it, both characters are all about damage, so whoever hits harder wins. Steena has a sword. Steena wins. Also she has a better figure and magic doesn't scare her much, but that's irrelevant, Steena wins.


Dhyerwolf
In a hoola-hoop contest!

Why Steena agreed to this when she has no hips and Miranda's hips are extremely large for an otherwise typical RPG female? Well, living in as a priestess, she didn't know what a hoola hoop is.

At least after losing, she had fun attacking to the still-hoola hooping Miranda with it.

Miranda: 31
Steena: 24