Season 37, Week 3
Josh Kain
(Phantasy Star 2)
 
The wrecker has wrecked one round of opponents, and now he's ready to smash another foe to the ground! Having knocked Roog onto the ground and down for the count last week in Phantasy Star Two's greatest successes outside of Rolf's own dominating successes in Heavy and Godlike, the non-dragoon is now ready to take on something perhaps a bit easier. Seriously, Roog was a big, burly, tough man - Palom's a little midget. Tiny, frail and not exactly quick or tough by any means. While the magic he commands might be something most warriors would fear, Josh Kain fears nothing! With two Laconian Maces in his hand, a series of blows will knock Palom down before he can even chant the weakest of magicks, and Josh's own wrecker training gives him the resilience to withstand even the dreaded Meteo with little problem. Victory is within reach for the Phantasy Star Two's resident wrecker, and he's by no means going to let such a rare opportunity for victory for his compatriots get out of his grasp!

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Brain over brawn, magic over matter, capice? Mysidian genius, miracle child and overall the cooler brother, Palom has the power to frighten gods, grown men and asian schoolgirls brimming under his nimble fingertips. The unmemorable whatever wrecker Josh Kain has... grease under his boots, an annoying face and a reputation for having nothing of note in the arena. That's gonna work. So, how should Palom deal with such a poor opponent? Humiliating him by turning the self-proclaimed wrecker into a frog would be fun. Of course, he could also bring several devastating spells - like Flare - to toast Kain. Or apply a quick, unstoppable casting of Death. Or petrifying his muscles with Stop. Or -anything-. Not being a machine, the ingenious Palom shall not fear Josh's questionable wrecking skills, and will instead concentrate on entertaining his crowd for kicks while he wins this match. Hmmm, turning him into a frog and making him dance the teapot dance by merit of chain-casted lightning should work wonders here...


Twilkitri
The crowd attending Josh 'Kain' Kain versus Palom was low, and the judges had fallen asleep before the match had even started. Such was the case with many matches that were pregone conclusions, except in the cases where vast amounts of people had reason to see the inferior dueller dead. And the only people who really wanted Kain to die was the handful of Duelling League robots that weren't Wren or Demi. Consequently, really the only attendees were the Phantasy Star 2 and Final Fantasy 4 casts, the majority of whom only turned up because they got seats to own game matches for free, and the aforementioned robot 'crowd'.

Kain was worried. As far as he could determine, he had little to no chance of winning this match. But he did have once chance. He had overheard Palom bragging to his castmates that this matchup was so favourable, that he was going to take the oppurtunity to use Meteor to give them a good show. That gave him one, possibly two turns of actions. He wouldn't be able to do anything major with his standard attacks in that time, but...

...on Dezolis and Noah, he had fought several different types of mages. Wizards, Illusionists, Caped Ones, Imagiomages... and all of them vulnerable to his wrecking techniques. Palom was might be biological and therefore by rights unaffected, but he too was a mage... it was a slim chance, but it was the only one he had.

The match started, and as he'd said he'd do Palom started casting Meteor. The Final Fantasy 4 crew got themselves hyped up for the upcoming light show as Kain took a stance and prepared his last ditch attempt.

"NAGAJ!"

The bolt of electricity, true to its nature, completely missed Palom and flew into the stands, where it blew up Nei's Walkman. The Phantasy Star 2 cast glared at Kain while the some of the Final Fantasy 4 cast fell out of their seats laughing. No-one noticed the shocked expression on the person sitting way up the back.

As Kain recovered from using the technique, he found that Palom still hadn't finished charging for Meteor. One more try, then.

"NAGAJ!!"

This time the bolt found its mark, and to the shock of the Final Fantasy 4ers Palom's face exploded and he keeled over. A despairing screech of "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" came from the back row of the cast's seating area as the Mysidian Elder stood up and ran down the seating area towards the arena. Suddenly, Palom stood back up, and beneath the tattered remnants of his face everyone could see...

The cries of "Palom is a ROBOT!?" echoed throughout the stadium.

Palom's eyes glowed red. "I CANNOT ALLOW ANY WITH THE knowledge TO LIVE," he broadcast in a monotone, "MY BROTHERS ACTIVATE cleansing MODE". The robots in the audience stood up as one and trained their weapons on the audience members, while Palom sprouted machine guns and other various projectile weaponry out of parts of his body. Kain was still stunned at the fact that he actually hit something with Nagaj and the current turn of events that he didn't even get the chance to move before the massacre started. The Mysidian Elder held his head in his hands and sobbed with relief that his plans, so close to being undone, would manage to survive after all so long as he could get Palom back to the workshop as soon as possible, and bribe the healers hefty sums of money to 'accidentally' erase the audience's memories. If Palom's backup systems hadn't come online...


When the judges woke up, Kain was pasted across the arena floor... as they expected. What they didn't expect was for the audience to be as well. A nice old man from Mysidia explained to them that Palom had accidentally cast Meteor on the wrong group, since it had been so long since he'd used it, and that he would foot the bill for the healing as Palom was his student and therefore it was his own fault by association. And so the match was awarded to Palom, and the evil machinations of the Mysidian Elder and his mechanical army remained hidden.

Josh Kain: 16
Palom: 35