Season 36, Week 2
Jean
(Breath of Fire II)
 
How trite. Not just base fighter, but a loud, abrasive, and thoroughly shameless fist-fighter? It's barely worth Jean's time to run this braggart through with his Holy Rapier. But for the sake of maintaining some sense of decorum and class in Light, he can tear himself away from his latest masterpiece to thrash some manners into Kahn's muscled head. While his trademark Death attack and assorted other statuses may be ineffective against Kahn's boss immunities, Hush and Idle are ready to wreck havoc as always. Once Kahn's broken down into a state even more pathetic than usual before the crown prince of Simafort, Jean can close in and dispatch his foe with a few well-placed strikes of the blade.

V

S

KAAAHHHHNNNN is back, and all Light trembles at his name! Or perhaps at the volume at which his name is shouted by his multitude of fans! Who knows? What everyone knows, however, is the fact that no frog prince is a match for the man who has trained under all the greatest masters of Levant, Hisperia, and all the waters in between! In a test of might and manly manliness against this frog, Kahn is simply better! Stronger! Faster! Not one of Jean's statuses will affect Kahn, whereas Kahn's punches will certainly have a meaningful effect in reconfiguring Jean's face! Defeating one of the most lauded Lights at the start of his second run - life doesn't get much better than this for the great Kahn!


Gatewalker
There...was a bit of a misunderstanding with this match. Hearing that a frenchman named Jean was to face off against the legendary Kahn, the arena was flooded not with Breath of Fire fans, but with Trekkies.

Yes, you read that right. Trekkies. Some fan heard about the match in passing and then went ballistic, thinking that Jean-Luc Picard was going to do battle with Kirk's old nemesis, Kahn, and proceeded to talk about it at every Star Trek message board and fansite in existence. It was being hailed as the ultimate test of original Trek vs. TNG, was Picard good enough to take down one of Kirk's foes? Or would Kahn prevail and prove that Kirk was indeed the greatest captain ever?

Oh, but that wasn't all. Fans of Sisko and Janeway arrived at the match in droves as well, protesting that their favorite captain was not being represented in this match. Then the Star Wars and Babylon 5 fanatics came to heckle and boo all the Trekkies, and try to prove the superiority of their own pet shows.

So imagine the surprise of all of these hardcore nerds when the match began and they were greeted, not by a tea drinking captain and a genetically altered superman, but a rapier wielding frog and a brawny loudmouth.

There was a riot, of course. Thousands upon thousands of nerds going ape because they had been deceived. That prompted a quick change in the match. As the judges were running for cover, they quickly told the fighters that whoever could subdue the riot would be the winner.

Jean went at it like a gentleman, of course. Politely pulling aside a few rampaging nerds at a time and talking them down. No violence was needed on his part. They were all reasonable gentlemen(and the odd lady), so simple discussion and diplomacy was all it took to calm them down.

Kahn just dove into the crowd and did what musclebound loudmouths do best, which is to put the hurt on any nerd he got his hands on.

You tell me who finished first.

Jean: 26
Kahn: 46