Season 36, Week 2
Gilgamesh
(Final Fantasy V)
 
A simple man... monster... thing... well, whatever he is, Gilgamesh enjoys the finer things in life. Harassing mindless heroes, collecting all the shiny swords that catch his fancy, betraying his former boss and getting sucked into another dimension for it, these are quite the illustrious hobbies. He'll certaintly sympathize with his opponent Jade, who likes to use BoltX. And BoltX. And BoltX. And more BoltX's to ensure victory, as it is an incredibly painful spell. But Gilgamesh isn't too bad himself, and he has quite a few tricks (and blades) up his non-existant sleeves to deal with this one-note mage. A few stabs here, a few slices there, it's all to same to this multi-limbed master of the blade. All he really needs is a few turns to turn Jade into a pile of chopped meat, and BoltX isn't going to kill him that fast! Not even the simple-mindedness of Jade's attacking can deter Gilgamesh from his one goal of moving on to the championship!

V

S

Jade, General of the Dark Dragon Empire. A man whose power far outstrips that of the Emperor he serves, a man whose might stands just a half step behind that of even Myria, a man whose lightning magic turns even the hardiest of dragons to ash in a single strike. With mindboggling offence AND defence, coupled with a deadly serious attitude in all he turns his hand to, Jade is in every way the opposite of Gilgamesh. The many-armed swordsman may be good at one-liners, status attacks, and enforcing a semblance of order on Behind the Scenes, but he's certainly no Godlike when it comes to a slugfest. Sending Jade to deal with him, then? Overkill. A single casting of the dreadful Bolt X will be all that is needed to turn this X-Death flunky into just another smoldering corpse the Lightning Demon must step over en route to erasing the rather dubious title of "Strongest Godlike without a championship".


SageAcrin
A master of blades.

A giant monstrous abomination. Who is also a bishounen.

Clearly, the master of blades must be the hero of this tale!

(After all, he likes swords.)

Gilgamesh was to venture forth on his quest through time and space. On his daring quest, he would fight the most dangerous of monsters("Pika?"), gain stalwart allies("I like trains!" "I HATE SEXY WOMEN! And you, too." "ALL THE HOOCHIES THAT OPPOSE US SHALL FACE FRUE DESTRUCTION." "Pichu!") and make their way to the Evil Floating Castle Island Tower Bastille Angelic Realm Of Destruction, Doom And Intense Discomfort, where Gilgamesh was to defeat Jade once and for all, in single combat!

And then all the blades of the world would be his!

And then he would have the ultimate power, the power of heroes! And the girl, as well!

---

"Man, he's hard to wake up." Bartz said, bashing Gilgamesh's head with a mallet. "I told him not to take sleeping pills, but noooooo."

"Mmmm, Selphie...mmm, Lenna..." Gilgamesh muttered into his pillow.

"...that's it, I'm just not waking him. For one thing, he might start hugging me." Bartz said, with a shudder. "It's probably kinder anyways, Jade would crush him." Bartz mutteringly added, as he walked out of Gilgamesh's room.

Gilgamesh: 30
Jade: 50