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Super Equity Friends...IN SPACE!!! "I have," responded a different one. “but...why do you keep talking in the third person?" "But God must, for it is the very nature of your God's will that makes you want to serve me!" "Anyway, I have come with the ultimate plan to get followers for you! It’s so simple, even a hamster can do it!" "Your God is intrigued by the nature of this plan…soon the lives of those inferior beings shall become food for my own taste!" "Yes, you see, well, I reviewed records and noticed one thing that mass people can't avoid the allure of! I mean, look at the 108 stars in four of their five wars! Look at those fools who helped defeat the Time Devourer! And look at both squads calling themselves the ‘Shining Force’ and tell me one thing they all have in common!" "Would it be that even I, God, can't remember all their names, let alone what all of them can do, since many of them are just pathetic wimps no one, even God, could care about?" "...Yes, there's that, but that isn't the point! I was more thinking about the fact that no one can go against the power of silence! I mean, all of them followed warriors who can't so much as speak their own name! In fact, I do believe your own fall was thanks to one of these!" "God does not fall! God only gets slowed down! You will bow before God's power!" "Hey, I already do! ...anyway...all we need to do is grab a mute hero, and after that, subjects will swarm in faster than Belial with a Haste spell!" "Bwahahaahahah! Yes, those foolish Nikanaru will soon heed God's will! Finally God shall take over the world and destroy all in an abrupt flame of evil! All will know God's wrath!!" "NOT SO FAST, EVIL ONES!!!" With the echo of that cry still ringing in the great hall, the doors flew open, revealing the silhouettes of five figures standing behind them... "By the power to protect...Alkaiser!" "Know my name...Mystere!" "In the name of justice, these muscles! Grand Pappillon!" "Justice shall prevail...Captain Gordon, Defender of Earth!" "Girl power, go! Princess Punisher!" "And..." "Together..." "We..." "Are..." "The..." A mysterious lens-flare effect played over all of all of them as they struck dramatic poses... “SUPER EQUITY FRIENDS!!!” It was at this moment that a little pink fur ball jumped up, yelling, "Chu will be brought down!" "...say, Mystere, can I ask you one simple question?" Alkaiser said to his masked comrade. "Yes, what would that be?" "Why on EARTH is...well...THAT THING our Mascot?" "Well, remember how you said you wanted something small, cute, furry, and with a name ending in Chu?" "Yes?" "Well, Gordon volunteered to find one and, well, couldn't catch the hint that you wanted Pikachu, found that thing, and..." "...well, at least now we know never to let Gordon handle our recruitments again,” he said, turning to the villains. "In any event, by the power of all that is good and awesome, you will be defeated!" As Red turned away from Chu-Chu with a resigned sigh, the last of the blinding lens flare faded, allowing the Equity Friends to finally see their foes. The two shadowy figures were revealed to be old men: Evans and Patriarch Sergius XVII. "Hmm, so you foolish Nikanoru wish to engage in conflict with God before he takes his rightful stage as supreme overlord? Ha! You are already dead where you stand!" "I’m not sure I agree with all those metaphors, but it seems we will have to pass judgment upon you heretics in our plans to spread God's teachings to all." "Puh-lease! Do you know how many villains we've heard say THAT? And how many of them have succeeded?" "Silence, mortal woman! You will not speak like that in God's presence!" "Then my mighty strength and mask will crush your evil ways, and you will learn that goodness always triumphs!" Joachim shouted, flexing tremendously. "That's right! I, Gordon, DEFENDER OF EARTH! am here, along with my comrades, to insure that the world will be safe from evil priests and gods like you!" "I believe this might be an overused line, and a bit awkward give who you are, but...YOU NEED A SPANKING!" "Chu will be very sorry!" "...I am so not letting Gordon make 'important' decisions ever again...but in any event, what matters now is taking you down!" Alkaiser shouted. As he drew the RaySword, he muttered, "is that REALLY the best I could come up with? Man, I'm getting rusty..." Can the Super Equity Friends stop the maniacal old men from gathering more followers by manipulating a silent protagonist? Will Alkaiser ever get used to Chu-chu? Will Gordon EVER realize he's still the only superhero without a secret identity? Tune in next episode for... Super Equity Friends...IN SPACE!!! |
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Taishyr In truth, neither side won. You see, Etna took to... heavily upgrading her new space station that she acquired. Her practice target just happened to be this grand, noble battleground. And the Omega Trinity Hell Fusillade Wicked Sweet Prinny Fire Cannon hit dead center. So you see, on the one hand, the evildoers were slain. So the SEF's purpose was achieved. On the other hand, the entire galaxy went up with it, which will make resurrecting the SEF a bit more costly. Etna and Nate Nanjo are currently in business negotiations regarding purchasing the OTHFWSPFC, as well as Etna's services, for use by Nanjo Corp.. Yes, that twinge you just felt was a sign of impending doom. Super Equity Friends: 48 Villians: 24 |