Season 34, Week 3
Yuri Volte Hyuga
(Shadow Hearts Series)
 
Beating on the poor monster-hunting Algolian wasn't even a warm-up, and now the big dogs have come out to play. Like Yuri, Seymour is among the most powerful Godlikes who have yet to secure a title, and both know that now is the best chance they've had yet. Unfortunately for the Maester, however, his high-powered strategy stacks poorly against Yuri's immense skill. With For Everyone behind him, Yuri will have no trouble weathering Seymour's fiery assaults, while the Seraphic Radiance's magical onslaught overwhelms Seymour's considerable defenses. It will be a gruesome battle, but one which will see the Harmonixer standing tall over the would-be slayer of Spira.

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Seymour Guado is a maester with a mission. First he destroyed that foul robot KOS-MOS with his quadra-casting, but now the sarcastic Harmonixer has strolled into town - another do-gooder who will try and fail to stand against Seymour's power. Sure, Yuri may be able to call on ancient monsters to aid him, but even his strongest transformations don't have the firepower to kill Seymour immediately. Seymour's superior defenses to make up for his inferior speed, giving him the time he needs to act. And what ever will he do with that action? The same thing he did to beat the robot, of course; use four Firagas to char Seraphic Radiance’s smooth exterior and cackle as he gets another victory.


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Edge's recovery from the horrors of Fuku Zidane and Gala was a painful one. Far from bouncing back at his usual rapid rate, Edge was moping around and slowly recovering. Not even Rydia dressed as a female ninja could stir Edge's interest for more than a few hours. Of all things, it was an offhanded comment about who Yuri was fighting that sprung him into action. "Yeah, Seymour's a tough bastard. It'll be a tough fight, even if the oddsmakers have the odds of me winning 5-1. No need to pull out the Creamonade weapondry."

"You're fighting who?" Yuri looked up at the ceiling, and groaned. Edge stood on hanging from the ceiling, dressed in his usual outfit. "Seymour. Why do you want to know, Edge? I don't like that look in your eye. The last time you got that look, I ended up in a body cast and you had a hot date." Edge's silent smirk told Yuri everything he needed to know. Edge vanished a split second later, making no more noise than he did upon entry.

"Scratch that, Lexis. Prepare everything you got. I have a feeling it's going to be a long week."


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Yuri had prepared as much as humanely possible. The entire combined cast of both Shadow Hearts games stood behind him, armed to the teeth and with as much healing as possible. Even the elusive Kato had agreed to provide security help, with the Mutant Apes guarding the exits in case Yuri had to make a quick retreat. The arena was otherwise packed, as expected in such an epic godlike brawl. Yuri looked over at Seymour, and mentally sighed. He'd be happy if he got out of this with a win. With the sound of the bell starting combat, Yuri stepped into Seraphic Radiance, ready for one hell of a magical brawl.

What he got was an explosion. Yuri barely flinched at the explosion, and quickly to see what the hell had happened.

The entrance Ouka was guarding looked like it had been leveled with an Ultima, with Ouka flung all the way over into the nosebleeds seats in the other side of the arena. The Unconscious Mutant Ape had the horrible luck to be flung into a stunned Zidane's arms. Even more unluckily, she landed chest first, so Zidane got a face full of her most impressive assets. Kato happened to see this. With a roar, he charged over to where the stunned monkeyboy was sitting and proceeded to lay down a beating that made his last battle with Nicolai look tame. Yuri shrugged off the horrible carnage occuring in the nosebleed seats and glanced over to where Seymour was standing, expecting a chainof Firaga spells or Ultima to be hurled at him. What Yuri saw instead was a horde of women swarming the Maester, shredding him with spells and swords. Not even Seymour Omnis had a chance of surviving that assault. Yuri twitched. There was only one person who could have caused so much havoc in so short a time. Only one so devious and twisted as to explode half an arena and somehow kill Zidane without even meaning to do it.

.."EDGE! Where the hell are you, and what the hell did you do to my match?"

"You see, ladies? This is why the perverted must be crushed at all costs! NO MORE SAILOR GALAS!"

Yuri simply stared in shock as Edge jumped down from the balcony seats, holding a shredded dagger that one belonged to Zidane. "I'll keep this as a momento. Hey, Yuri. Thought I'd surprise you with my latest venture here. Zidane and other perverted losers need to pay for the image of... *shudder*...Gala in a Fuku. I'll make them pay. I'll make them all pay! It was easy to talk a bunch of the DL ladies into joining me, and.. they appointed me the leader. I'm the offical leader of the DL Godlike ladies's anti perversion division. Isn't it grand? Oh, don't worry about the match; Yuna was a judge and she hates Seymour and I'm so awesome and Bowser is doomed and... Yuri?"


Yuri turned around in the middle of the speech and began walking out. "Gepetto, still got that stash of old brandy in your room? Good. Get it for me. I want to be too drunk to have a hand in whatever Edge is doing. It's going to end up badly."

Yuri Volte Hyuga: 66
Seymour: 25