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Spoiler warning "Today's topic: Low-ranked specialist fighters who will never get their oft-dreamed-of Godlike matches thanks to the league's rules. "Let's meet our contestants! Our first entry comes to us from the small town of Artolia...and from beyond the grave - Arngrim, of Valkyrie Profile fame!" The announcer smiled as Arngrim was pushed out onto stage from behind a curtain. Arngrim grunted an acknowledgment and walked to his seat, a (poorly-masked) flustered expression on his face. "Yes, I'm here." The announcer continued, "Arngrim bears a special weapon, left to him by his brother: the Dragon Slayer, which as the name implies, can kill a dragon in a single stroke. And yet, in all his matches, Arngrim's never battled even ONE dragon! Can you believe it, folks?" The audience was aghast. The announcer nodded sadly before the next introduction, "And our second fabulous contestant is Suikoden's one and only famous vampire hunter - Kahn Marley! Let's hear it for KAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHNNN!!!!!" The crowd went wild as the charismatic vampire-slayer made his way out onto the stage, somehow looking brooding and cocky at once. Kahn sighed. "Can you believe I've only had ONE match? And not even against a decent vampire - but an elf from my own series!" "KAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHN!!!!" cried the crowd, sympathizing with his plight. When the audience calmed down, the announcer made his final introduction: "And our last contestant for the day comes from a less-well-known game, Phantasy Star II. Let's hear it for Josh Kain!" The enthusiastic mechanic leapt out from behind a curtain to polite applause. He frowned, looking to the announcer for support. "Josh Kain," the announcer began, "comes from the planet Mota, where he always wanted to be a mechanic. But he broke everything he tried to fix, and decided to make that his profession - and now he makes a good living as a famous Wrecker - and erstwhile savior of his planet. His skills are some of the most damaging in his game, but only against mechanical enemies. Kain has been stiffed with only 2 matches in the DL, and neither of them against a robot!" The audience was more sympathetic after the explanation, and Kain perked up a little. "Now," the announcer continued, more excited, "We introduce the fabulous prize - a chance for temporary Godlike ranking against a Godlike opponent of your choice from our three participants! And let's introduce them!" First, the Dragon Emperor Fou-lu entered the stage to wild applause. Arngrim quirked up an eyebrow. Next was the Lord of Vampires, Brahams, from Valkyrie Profile. Kahn to smiled smugly. And finally was the most famous: KOS-MOS, the powerful, supernatural Anti-Gnosis android from the Xenosaga series. Kain practically screamed, "Awesome, I get to dismantle a hot babe android!" The audience kind of stared at him. The announcer picked up the slack. "And there they are, folks - which one of these powerful warriors will have the chance to take on a Godlike in the *Ultimate Spoiler Match of the CENTURY*? Well, it's your vote, audience. And we'll find out right after a word from our sponsors!" |
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Djinn And Tonic Spoiler Warning - fin. ~ AND NOW, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS: “Has your HORN gotten dull lately?” “Does it just NOT have that luster you’ve always wanted?” “Well, if this sounds like you, come join the billions of satisfied Ronso and try out ‘Melfice’s Horn Polish’ – guaranteed to make your horn shinier than Ryudo’s acne-covered face!” ~ An enthusiastic announcer appeared on-screen, “And that’s all from our sponsors!” The man moved across the gameshow stage to his three contestants, “But here’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for on today’s exciting episode of SPECIAL WISHES – Which one of our lucky contestants will get his temporary Godlike status to do battle with his respective opponent?” Arngrim eyed the Dragon Emperor Fou-lu dangerously. Kahn grinned confidently at the Vampire Lord Brahams. Josh Kain pretty much ogled KOS-MOS. “And the viewers decided: It’s Arngrim from Valkyrie Profile!” Arngrim smirked, “Ha! It looks like this stupid game show wasn’t a complete waste of time after all! It’ll be nice to have a GODLIKE win under my belt!” The large warrior knocked over his chair and leapt towards the silver-haired Dragon Emperor. The announcer moved out of the way quickly, “Now, now, Arngrim, the match doesn’t start until you get to the dueling league stadium! Arngrim!” But despite protests, the match had begun, Arngrim had readied his Dragonslayer claymore and Fou-lu had already begun transformation into his strongest form. The other contestants and most of the audience (except the really violent ones who probably watch too many R-rated action flicks) fled the television station quickly before it was mostly rubble. In the end, Arngrim’s Dragonslayer was victorious over Fou-lu due to his natural weakness, and only the winner, the unconscious form of the dragon, and the hapless announcer were left amongst the piles of plaster and bricks. “And so… our champion, Arngrim, has finally been granted his SPECIAL WISH… Join us next week for ‘SPECIAL WISHES: My Father’s dimension-hopping demon-cat who’s trying to kill me’ and catch all the action… if we manage to rebuild the studio in time…” Arngrim: 32 Kahn: 9 Josh Kain: 22 Godlikes: 26 AAA
Alanna82
Draco Ignifer
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