Season 33, Week 4
Ziggy
(Xenosaga Series)
 
Super advanced Cyborg Ziggurat 8 reports for duty! Smashing a fellow robot and then a fellow bodyguard was a fun warmup for the multitalented Ziggy. But this next battle should be interesting. It'll be a defensive battle, one that Ziggy excels at. It's haste and healing against excellent defenses and unlimited IP healing. Ziggy's got the edge, as his magical based Executioner is just the thing to grind at Dekar's subpar magic defense. Who's ever heard of a middle ages knight beating a killing machine from the future, anyway?

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Hardened from one-hundred battles and considered by his superiors to be invincible, Dekar has proven his worth in the duelling Arena with decisive victories over the sorceress Philia and the spirited young Aika. This week, though, the sword-loving hero of Bound Kingdom has a very adept and dangerous adversary in Ziggurat 8. He is a combat cyborg, a type of enemy the simple fighter has never encountered. But with the power of his sword, his shiny healing IP, and his iron will and durability, he will prevail and march to the finals!


Gatewalker
Dekar had gotten himself in a bit of a pickle this time. Mouthing off a bit before the fight, claiming that he could do anything that bucket of bolts could do better, and generally telling everyone that a flesh and blood warrior was better than some half-man/half-machine thing in every way.

While Ziggy was more than content to just let the caveman flap his jaws, MOMO was not going to stand for some ignoramus insulting her friend. Stomping up to Dekar, she told him that he was a big fat meanie head(or something along those lines) and that Ziggy was a super-strong fighter and the best bodyguard in the world and was going to kick Dekar’s medieval butt in the match.

Never one to let a challenge go unanswered(though how exactly he took a little girl ranting at him as a challenge, it’s best not to ask), Dekar boasted that he would be an even better bodyguard then Ziggy, even if the cyborg was supposed to be the best in the world. Starting to get a little irritated with Dekar after he upset MOMO, Ziggy accepted and made the match a contest to see who was the better bodyguard.

This was the pickle. For all of his boasting and his utter lack of brains, Dekar was enough of a warrior to know a cold professional when he saw one. He knew that it wouldn’t be easy to beat Ziggy in his own specialty, even for ‘Too stupid to lose’ Dekar. So…he came up with a plan!

- - -

The day of the match came, and Dekar was carefully keeping an eye on his assigned ward, Relm, while Ziggy was standing calmly nearby with MOMO close behind him, waiting for the enemies to appear. Neither of them knew the nature of the threat that was going to attempt to harm the girls behind them, only that there would be a lot of them. Dekar was hoping for some good old fashioned monsters, and Ziggy would have preferred a hoard of robot minions, but neither was quite prepared for what came out when the arena gates opened to reveal their opponents…

Standing before them, in all their miniscule glory, was an army of Moogles. One moogle drew a slim conductor’s wand from his…wherever it is that moogles keep their weapons and such…and turned to face the others. And all hell broke loose.

Taking a defensive stance, Ziggy began setting up his enhancements and such, while Dekar enacted his ‘plan’. See, by Dekar’s way of figuring, if there were no more enemies left, then his ward was safe and he won. Thus, charging in and killing them all fast was the best way to win. So, forcing his way against Wind Slashes, dodging Rock Slides and leaping over Snares, Dekar pounded across the arena towards the Moogle army, and began laying about him with what could only be called GUSTO!

There were a couple of problems with this though. See, Dekar forgot that he wasn’t exactly fast. Especially when he was fighting against the wind and having to dodge things. So, by the time he made it to the thick of the army, more than a few moogles had just rushed around him and gotten to Relm, costing him the match.

Now, there are two lessons to be learned from this. First, if your claim to fame is being too stupid to lose, then for the love of God don’t try to actually think! Secondly, of course, is fear the Moogle Rush.

Ziggy: 44
Dekar: 27