Season 33, Week 1
Nash Latkje
(Suikoden III)
 
The charismatic and cool super-spy Nash Latkje makes his second appearance in the Heavy Arena, ready to woo the ladies and enrage his mistress! Armed with his darts, his fancy toupet, masculine wiles and a Water Rune, the first challenger to rise against Nash is Dart, the feminine but fairly generic hero of Legend of Dragoon. But Nash has dealt with bigger challenges in his sleep (Sierra makes a mean bedfellow, you know). And, if a man can deal with a beautiful and moody vampiress, he can most certainly deal with some bland Dragoon stereotype. Although his wooing may not work on Dart, his precisely thrown darts and healing magic will certainly do a number on him and will seal Nash’s second Heavy win! Because nobody - much less a faux flamboyance such as Dart - stays on top of Harmonia's finest!

V

S

The flaming red dragoon warrior Dart is a bit depressed. You see, even though he's finally got another chance to prove himself worthy of Heavy, he's facing off against someone that doesn't even deserve to be his opponent! You mean, a superspy wannabe? Pfah! It's time to give this boy a spanking he won't soon forget, and Dart is THE man to do it! With his beautiful and shiny Fairy Sword in his warm, strong hands, a rush from Dart's Blazing Dynamo should knock the silly spy down, leading to a severe thrashing from Dart's powerful Divine Dragon Balls. While Nash might be faster to the draw, the fact remains that, even with Nash's Water Rune for healing, he will still end up on the bottom of this exchange. Superior longevity and stamina will see Dart through to the end of this fight, with Dart on top of the competition - just the way he likes it.


Scar
Down below the arena, another super secret member’s only meeting in an undisclosed area was being held. The dark room was filled with negative nancies.

“Curses!”

“We need to come back strong. Those vile fiends ruined out headquarters, but if we want our name back in the spotlight….” The talkative one motioned towards a screen on the wall, “then we need a scapegoat.”

The screen turned on, and as the monitor lit up the dark room and the image was displayed, the people in the room all let out a sinister laugh. “Clovis!”

“His spilled blood will mark the return of the glorious LoRD!”

“……?”

“Was that what our name was?”

Meanwhile…

In the locker room of champions, a young Nash Latkje was getting ready for his return into the Dueling League. It had been quite some time since out triumphant hero had stepped into the arena, but as smooth as a baby’s bottom, Nash was calm, and calculated. Another blonde haired warrior stood in his way. This time, it was in the form of a sword wielding, dragon knight, and a color coordinated pyromaniac. Nothing Nash hadn’t encountered before.

Childs play…

Or was it foul play? Unbeknownst to him, a diabolical scheme of astronomical proportions was being woven for his quick and utter demise. And his wife wasn’t involved! Where is the justice!

Dart was waiting eagerly for Nash’s arrival. The smile on Dart’s face was clear as day. All he had to do was give the signal and the match would be over. “Hey, there, lover boy, get ready for a pounding!”

“Who? Me? You are hardly my type, you know?”

“ARGH! That’s not what I meant! Get ready to feel the wrath of the dragoon’s scorn!” Dart then whistled a loud pitch that rung out over the arena and into the crowd. Seconds passed and nothing came of Dart’s little act. Nash seemed unimpressed.

“Are you finished goofing around? My irritable mistress is waiting for me, and I dare not keep her waiting. I’d like to wrap this up as soon as possible.” As Dart looked all around for whatever it was he signaled for, Nash withdrew his devilish weapons and advanced on the clueless Dragoon.

Dragon transformations are nice and all, but the wrath of a berserker who won’t wait for the transformation to complete is just plain entertaining.

~

Meanwhile…

Underneath a pile of rubble, a group of foiled dragoons began to pick themselves up from a sound beating. “W-what happened? One second we were on our way to help Dart out and the next….”

Kain sat in the stands with his head buried deep within his hands. “ *Sigh* ”

“Foiled again! But, by who? Who could take on a legion of super strong dragon knights so effortlessly and so quickly?”

The Dragoons weren’t the only ones with people in high places. As Nash walked away from the twitching Dart, he looked into the crowd and gave a thumbs up targeted toward one individual with a great and manly beard. It was well received and an even greater and manlier thumbs up was sent back at Nash. “Thank you, Chuck Norris!”

Nash Latkje: 40
Dart: 26

Silverlocke980
OH MY GOD, THE GAY JOKES.