MfGWLM: The Birds
~DragoonJay


"This has got to be the most demeaning job we've ever done," griped Paine as they trudged through the Kaput Forest.

"Even worse than the time Yunie had to give that massage?" asked Rikku.

"Well..."

"Or the time that Yunie went out in the Moogle costume and gave out balloons?"

"Rikku..." said Yuna quietly.

"Or that time we went to that cavern and all the other adventurers beat us badly?"

"Rikku!" yelled Paine. "We get the picture."

"It doesn't matter," said Yuna. "There are people here who need our help. We're the Gullwings, and it's our duty to stop these attacks."

"Yes, we're the Gullwings. Not the Gullslayers. These so-called "bird attacks" are probably nothing more than a few sparrows and a bunch of travelers with overactive imaginations," said Paine.

"Still, I think we should help. We could use something to help our reputation, you know."

"Um... girls, did you just hear something?" asked Rikku. "Like, a rustling in the trees or something?"

"I don't see anything," said Paine.

"That doesn't mean there's nothing there. Be careful," Yuna replied.

There was an eerie hush over the forest, as the three sphere hunters cautiously creeped forward, unaware of the looming danger that lay perched above them. Countless avian eyes focused in on their every action, bills salivating with the opportunity for further destruction. The three leaders readied their halberds, nodded to each other, then dropped down with a mighty cry of attack.

"Quackers!"

  • The Gullwings fend off this feathered flock of foes
  • The ducks destroy the damsels decisively


AAA
The girls might have had had a decent shot at fighting off the fearless fowl fighters, but sadly there was one thing they lacked.

Power? No, they have guns, and magic, and stuff. Stuff being the most powerful. Fear the stuff.

Wits? No, Paine has a vague idea of what's going on most of the time.

Meat shield? Rikku was easily distracted by a shiny piece of foil.

Strategy? It's a bunch of ducks. You stab them until they stop moving.

No, sadly the only thing they lacked was decent insurance. That's why the ducks quickly tore them apart and went off to do duck things, which mostly involves eating bread given to them by old people, swimming in ponds, and CONTROLLING THE MASS MEDIA.

Aflac puts ducks in their commercials for a reason. And that is why they have high quality life insurance. Don't wait until you're attacked while wearing a thong.

(..what do you mean, 'sold out'? This fur coat was a graduation present! You can't prove a thing!)

The moral of the story: Ducks rule.


Gullwings: 32
Ducks: 42

Starphoenix das Helpoemer
Yes, I say the Gullwings fend off the flock... because the option of them losing is far too horrid to imagine...

I mean really, do you know how much the dry cleaning alone would cost? It's frightening... and let's not forget the psychological trauma of being ousted by a random encounter of sorts... it boggles the mind.

So I vote for the Gullwings to preserve sanity... Don't you want to preserve sanity?

IhatethisCPU
Seriously? The Gullwings against a bunch of RPG ducks? God bless DragoonJay...